Squeezed on:


Who knew what “flex” was? Maybe you hipsters, but not The Juice. Anyway, it would seem that one can make some serious jack selling the stuff. As reported by Creative Loafing Atlanta:

Around 2 p.m., police responded to a silent panic alarm at an Armour Drive apartment, and a 30-year-old man came to the door. An officer wrote in his report, “It appeared that [he] was hiding something and attempted to place something in his right pants pocket.” Turns out he was hiding stuff pretty much everywhere. After picking up a search warrant and a drug dog, police reportedly found $20,879 in cash on the kitchen counter, more than $16,000 cash in the right kitchen drawer and $3,954 cash in the left kitchen drawer.

The dog moved to the hallway, and found $32,171 in a computer desk, three bags in a closet stuffed with more than $93,000 cash, a Gucci bag filled with $9,394, and 12 grams of white powdery stuff. The man told police he sells flex, aka fake drugs. An initial test on the powder came back negative. Police gathered up the white stuff and sent it to a lab for more tests.

Total cash police say they found in the apartment: $295,583.


Squeezed on:


In relationships, as with many other things, you need to know when to cut your losses. For this Florida woman, it’s clearly time. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was arrested after he locked his girlfriend in a shed and threw cottage cheese at her.

The woman called law enforcement about her boyfriend of about five years after the 43-year-old locked her in a shed, threw a container of cottage cheese at her and then tried to pour gasoline on her, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Cottage cheese and gasoline? Kind of a mixed message there.

The container holding the cottage cheese didn’t hit the woman, but its contents did.

Harold McCleery was arrested and charged for battery and false imprisonment.


Squeezed on:


Even though McDonald’s has sold over 100 billion burgers (can you feel your arteries clogging?), a restaurant named “McCurry” (Malaysian Chicken Curry) would not be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News:

The American fast-food giant McDonald’s has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry.

Talk about David vs. Goliath.

McCurry opened for business in Kuala Lumpur in 1999, and serves Indian dishes, including fish head curry and breads including tandoori naan.

So it was McDonald’s (with over 30,000 “restaurants” worldwide, including 180 in Malaysia) against 1 McCurry. With the end of the litigation, McCurry looks to change that.

“We can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches,” [McCurry owner P Suppiah] said.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:


Who doesn’t want a Land Rover? Even if you are going to steal one, clearly this is not the best way to go about it. As reported by FloridaToday.com:

A 24-year-old man is in jail today after sheriff’s investigators said he broke into a car dealership, drove through two sets of bay doors and crashed into 11 vehicles on the lot.

Travis Stone was charged with burglary, grand theft auto and 11 separate counts of criminal mischief in connection with the break-in that left behind $30,000 in damage to the Island Lincoln Mercury dealership at 1850 Merritt Island Causeway.

Now this might surprise you …

“He was highly intoxicated. He told us that he didn’t remember how he got into the dealership but he remembers driving through the bay doors,” said Agent Craig Carson of the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office.

Investigators said Stone got into the garage and drove off with a 2000 Land Rover that was in the dealership for repairs. Investigators said Stone then drove through locked bay doors, damaging the building in the process.

Deputies spotted the Land Rover and attempted to stop the vehicle. Stone was arrested after a short foot pursuit, investigators said.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

Squeezed on:


When you think of a crime spree, don’t you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman
Richard William O’Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au:

His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it.

On another occasion he and a male friend got drunk and entered a cake store, where he demanded a “gay cake” for their “gay wedding”. O’Flynn then picked up a cake decorating knife and threatened the assistant, asking for money. When she told him she would call the police, he and his friend left the store, the court was told.

O’Flynn… also pleaded guilty to wilful damage for kicking a car during an argument in Bundaberg.

And finally,

He also pleaded guilty to using [the telephone] to menace, harass or cause offence after repeatedly calling a real estate agent and abusing her because she left a flyer in his mailbox.

We all hate those flyers, but seriously dude, recycle, don’t hate. What is Mr. O’Flynn’s fate? His guilty pleas were met with a sentence of “12 months [in] jail suspended after 80 days, which he has already served in pre-sentence custody.” A few parting words from the Judge:

Judge Griffin described O’Flynn’s behaviour as “disgraceful” and said Australia would be better off without him. [O’Flynn is returning to Ireland at the end of the month.]

“We will all be altogether pleased to see you go,” Judge Griffin said.

Really, is that any way to treat a guest in your country?

Squeezed on:


The Juice has shared many “911” stories over the years. (Click here for all Juice posts with “911.”) This one is clearly “top 5” material. As reported by The Sandusky Register (Ohio):

Officers responded to the 100 block of E. Water St. at 3:17 a.m., where several bar patrons had been arguing. Police told Joseph A. Walsh, 26, to calm down and leave the area.

And of course Mr. Walsh … didn’t.

Walsh started to get into a vehicle with some friends to leave, but then began arguing with one of the men and shoved him, police said.

Police arrested Walsh for persistent disorderly conduct. While taking him into custody, officers said Walsh was unsteady on his feet, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

Officers also found a rolled $20 bill containing suspected cocaine residue on it in Walsh’s front pocket.

Having clearly done nothing wrong …

Walsh became belligerent with officers while en route to the police department, so they placed Walsh in a holding cell, but he screamed and pounded on the door, refusing to settle down, they said.

Police then handcuffed Walsh to the holding-cell door to keep him from hurting himself or damaging department property.

Apparently that was the final straw for Mr. Walsh.

… while officers completed charges against Walsh, he managed to take out his cell phone and call 911 to complain that he was being held against his will.


Police took the phone and served Walsh with charges of possession of cocaine, persistent disorderly conduct and misuse of 911. He was booked into the Erie County Jail.

Doh! Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:


“We just robbed the Chicken Shack! We just robbed the Chicken Shack!” Okay, so these Lakeland, Florida perps didn’t actually yell that out, but they might as well have. As reported by wtsp.com:

Tuesday morning, Officers Tony Williams and David Kaiser responded to reports of a burglary at the Chicken Shack located at 813 West Memorial Blvd. When police showed up, they found the business had been robbed of t-shirts, beer and other property.

A witness who called in the burglary also reported seeing two men running from the store and was able to give a description of the men. A short time later, and not very far away, the officers spotted 35-year-old Chad Berrien and 31-year-old Rickey Wright.

You’ll recall that they stole some t-shirts. Yup …

Police say Berrien and Wright were both wearing Chicken Shack t-shirts and had several more in a bag. The suspects also still had some of the stolen beer minus what they had already drank.

They were drinking? No way.

Both men are charged with burglary and grand theft.

Here’s the source, including mug shots.