Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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In a Fairfax County, Virginia Food Lion, a customer and a Food Lion manager got into an argument over the use of certain coupons. It goes without saying that coupon use is a very contentious issue. So perhaps it’s not surprising that the manager then knocked over the customer’s grocery cart. While leaving the store, the customer was pelted in the back with an egg – thrown by the store manager. Ever loyal, other store employees laughed at the customer, and refused to provide information about how to file a complaint with Food Lion’s corporate office.

Perhaps not being satisfied with landing only one egg, the store manager filed criminal trespass charges against the customer. At the criminal trespass trial, since nobody from Food Lion showed, the case was dismissed. The customer then sued Food Lion for malicious prosecution and assault, and was awarded $3,800 in punitive damages, and $1,200 in attorney’s fees. Alam v. Food Lion, Inc., Fairfax County General District Court.

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Philadelphia Traffic Court Judge Willie F. Singletary knows a thing or two, OR 55, about traffic tickets. That’s because, a year ago, his driver’s licenses was suspended through 2011 due to 55 traffic violations totalling $11,427, as reported by the Philadelphia Daily News. And he was elected Traffic Court Judge after he got busted!

Now, though, having been in office only since January 7, 2007, he’s looking at a different kind of trouble.

The state Judicial Conduct Board issued a complaint yesterday charging Willie F. Singletary, 28, with five counts of misconduct for soliciting campaign donations from the Philadelphia First State Road Rattlers Motorcycle Club on April 22, 2007.

Here’s what allegedly went down. How do people think this kind of thing won’t come out?

Then, Singletary asked each biker to give him $20 for his campaign, in violation of state judicial conduct rules, according to the 11-page complaint.

“There’s going to be a basket going around because I’m running for Traffic Court Judge, right, and I need some money,” he said, according to the complaint.

“Now, you all want me to get there, you’re all going to need my hook-up, right,” he continued. “It costs money,” he added. “I have to raise $15,000 by Friday. I just hope you have it.”

I’ll give the Judge this: He eliminated the need to read between the lines. And it’s on YouTube, right here!

Shazam! Here’s the article.

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deposition%20angry%20cussing%20man%20curse%20words%20mad%20pissed%20off.gif Must have been “f-bomb the lawyer day.” Mr. Aaron Wider is the owner and CEO of HTFC Corp. In a lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank against HTFC, Mr. Bodzin (GMAC’s attorney) was attempting to take Mr. Wider’s deposition. To say Mr. Wider was uncooperative would be an incredible understatement. Here are a few excerpts from the deposition:

Q. [By Atty. Bodzin] This is your loan file, what do Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald do for a living?
A. [By Mr. Wider] I don’t know. Open it up and find it.
Q. Look at your loan file and tell me.
A. Open it up and find it. I’m not your fucking bitch.
Q. Take a look at your loan application.
A. Do it yourself. Do it yourself. You want to do this in front of a judge. Would you prefer to
[do] this in front of a judge? Then, shut thefuck up.
Q. Sir, take a look–
A. I’m taking a break. Fuck him. You open up the document. You want me to look at something, you get the document out. Earn your fucking money asshole. Isn’t the law wonderful. Better get used to it. You’ll retire when I’m done.

Q. … We’re going to adjourn this deposition if this happens again because you are offending every single person.
A. Don’t speak for anybody in here except yourself fuck face.
Q. I’m speaking for myself and I’m speaking for the Court Reporter.
A. If she had a problem with me she would say something. She knows it’s [not] directed toward
her. It’s directed to you because you’re a piece of shit and a piece of garbage and I’m the only
person in your life that is fucking up your world and I enjoy it. I enjoy it and when you sit there
and say I’m perpetrating a fraud I’m just better at the law than you are and you can’t get in the
fucking door and it’s pissing you off. Keep trying.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Just how bad was the rest of the deposition? Per the court:

The above [which includes one more excerpt] are only a few examples of Wider’s hostile, uncivil, and vulgar conduct, which persisted throughout the nearly 12 hours of deposition testimony. In fact, Wider used the word “fuck” and variants thereof no less than 73 times. To put this in perspective–in this commercial case, where GMAC’s claim is for breach of contract and HTFC’s counterclaim is for tortious interference with contract–the word “contract” and variants thereof were used only 14 times.

So what did the court do with this? Click below to find out.

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Yup. A 30-year-old Toronto man was riding the bus. After making eye contact with the man next to him, the friendly guy said “hello.” This was too much for the unfriendly guy, who, as reported in The National Post, then asked

Why do you say hello to me? I don’t know you.

Um, er, okay. Nevermind. No such luck for the friendly guy.

The victim apologized on the bus, and again when they got off, but the man pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The victim was taken to hospital and received numerous stitches.

Friendly guy is doing alright. Unfriendly guy remains at large.

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pervert%20drawing%20sick%20sex%20stickman.gif I’m having a hard time thinking of anything that compares to what brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke were planning on doing. They saw a young lady’s picture with her obituary (I think you have an idea where this is going), and thought she was attractive. So, naturally, they decided to dig her up and have sex with her corpse. Fortunately, things did not go as planned. As reported at investigation.discovery.com,

On the night of Sept. 2, 2006, a concerned citizen called the Grant County Sheriff’s Department and reported a suspicious vehicle that was parked by the St. Charles Cemetery. When Officer Brent McDonald arrived on the scene, he observed Alexander Grunke walking towards the vehicle. According to the criminal complaint, Grunke was sweating profusely and appeared to be nervous.

Oh, and somehow, the brother managed to convince a friend, Dustin Radke, to help them.

“Complainant is informed by Sgt. Kopp’s report that Radke informed him that he had brought Nicholas Grunke to the Cassville Cemetery the first part of the week, that Nick wanted to come down and locate L.T.’s grave, that Nick asked him to help him dig up L.T.’s body so that he could have sexual intercourse with her, that Nick wanted to take her back to a pre-selected location behind his house, that he did assist in digging up L.T.’s gravesite, and that they had stopped at Wal-Mart in Dodgeville on the way down and bought condoms because Nick wanted to use them when he had sex with a corpse,” reads the Sept. 5, 2006 criminal complaint filed by Chief Deputy Jack Johnson.

The charges? Attempted theft and attempted sexual assault. The defense? No sexual assault because the victim was already dead. Did the Judge agree? He did, and his decision was upheld on appeal, but the state appealed that decision to the Wisconsin Supreme Court. Guess how many states have a law that specifically bans necrophilia? Just 16 (and Wisconsin isn’t one of them). You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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serena%20kozakura%20large%20breasts%20big%20chest%20boobs.jpg For real – this defense was really used in court. The charge against Japanese pin-up Serena Kozakura was kicking a hole in a door, and then crawling through it to enter an apartment. She was convicted. On appeal, Serena’s lawyer argued that, with a 44-inch chest, she could not possibly have fit through the hole in the door! The Judge agreed, and tossed the case. Said Serena,

“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”

Shazam! Props to wizbangblog and Japundit for finding this story. Click here to see the story as posted on Weird Asia News (including photos and video).

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So the husband, Ravi, wanted an omelette for dinner. And he’s not real flexible (at least he wasn’t at the time). Wife Kavitha, a school teacher, didn’t feel like cooking no stinkin’ omelette. After an argument, she began chopping onions for the omelette. After another argument ensued, she took that old knife and planted it right in Ravi’s chest. Do NOT mess with Ravi! (And, generally speaking, don’t argue with a knife-wielder.) The fuzz took Kavitha away, while neighbors took Ravi to the hospital. Here’s the article. (Trust me, my write-up is better.)

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Parents get divorced. Dad converts to Judaism, and wants son circumsised – and Mom doesn’t. Now if I were to to tell you that the son istwelve years old, who else do you think they should ask? Yes, junior, of course! You would think someone would have thought of this before the case worked its way up to the Oregon Supreme Court! Nope – not in the 3 years the parents have been litigating this issue. So the Court sent the case back with instructions to determine what junior wants. That shouldn’t take long.

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LSU%20tigers%20funny%20football%20picture%20sign.jpg Regular Juice readers no doubt remember this “Motion for Continuance.” This one is not quite as funny (the bar is now pretty high), but it’s still juiceworthy. In the Louisiana case of Harrell v. Spencer, et al., defense counsel filed, I shit you not, an “Unopposed Motion To Continue Trial Due To Conflict With The LSU Tiger’s National Championship Game.” In his supporting Memorandum, defense counsel states:

All counsel to this matter unequivocally agree that the presence of LSU in the aforementioned contest of pigskin skill unquestionably constitutes good grounds [under the statute – for continuing the trial]. In fact we have been unable through much imagination and hypothetical scenarios to think of a better reason.

What do you think the Judge did with the Motion? Granted. Trial continued to February 11, 2008. Okay, now I have a problem. February 11th is George Washington’s birthday. Really. As Stephen Colbert says, “Look it up.” You can read the Motion, Memorandum and Order here

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What did Canadian elementary school teacher Maria Pantalone do that resulted in her pleading guilty to assaulting a 12-year-old boy? Hint #1: She threw something at him. Hint #2: It was brown. Need another hint? Hint #3: It smells really, really bad. Yes, it was feces! And the kid was not even one of her students! Why did she do it? “I couldn’t take it anymore. It was total, total frustration,” she testified, as reported in the Toronto Star. The punishment? Zippy. No fine or jail time. She was suspended, but with pay. Her future as a teacher remains uncertain. Yes, there are several nagging questions: Where did she get the human feces? What could the kid possibly have done to drive her to do it? We’re unlikely to find out because there is a publication ban to protect the minor’s identity. Damn! Here’s the article.