Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can’t just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher’s coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher’s ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor …

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you’re wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff’s Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher’s condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here’s the source.

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There are more 5 million people in Scotland. So would it shock you to learn that some people have the same name? Me either. One name that at least 2 people in Scotland share is “Derek Lyon.” One of them is a convicted drunk driver who lost his license, and the other is … just Derek Lyon. Guess who the police busted? The wrong Derek Lyon. He told them that – but – you see – the machine had spoken.

And it got worse after the bogus bust. Mr. Lyon was taken to jail, where he spent 4 hours before being released. His car was impounded. Because he couldn’t afford to pay the fees to get his car back, the police CRUSHED it! Nooooooooo! Without his car, Mr. Lyon couldn’t get to work, and was fired. He also couldn’t visit his kids for months because he lacked transportation. (He was arrested in July, and just recently acquitted.)

Think he’s going to sue? Hell yes. As reported by Scotland TV:

Speaking after his court appearance, Mr Lyon, 36, of Balgarthno Terrace in Dundee, said he was going to sue Aberdeen Sheriff Court’s clerk’s office, the DVLA and Tayside Police.

He said: “I’m going to take legal action against the police for taking my car, the DVLA for putting somebody else’s offence on my licence, and the court in Aberdeen.

“I haven’t been able to drive until today. I spent four hours in the cells when I got arrested and my car got crushed even though I told them at the time it wasn’t me.

“The police came the next day and I told them again that I’d never been in Aberdeen Sheriff Court and that I wasn’t disqualified. The police in Dundee didn’t believe me but a local policeman in Blairgowrie where I lived at the time did and he tried to sort things out for me.”

To see the story as reported by Scotland TV, click here.

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So you’re drunk, and you’re driving a car. The cops pull you over. Yet they don’t charge you with drunk driving. In fact, they can’t. If it sounds like a riddle, the answer is: the drunk driver was a 9-year-old boy! As reported by The Sun:

The lad was breathalysed by police and taken into custody after they spotted him behind the wheel in Cumbria.

But they were forced to let him back on the streets as his age meant he was not old enough to be held accountable for his actions.

The child, who has not been named, was among thousands of under 18s arrested in the north of England over the past two years.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Apparently looking different is a problem in East Cooper, South Carolina. Two teens must have known this when they hatched their plan, which The Juice has dubbed “The Spandex Chronicles.” As reported by The Post and Courier:

Two teens wearing black from head to toe drew suspicion at a local pharmacy about 3 p.m. April 20 and police were called, a report states.

All black? Head for the hills!

On the way to the pharmacy, Mount Pleasant police were told by dispatchers that the boys had left the pharmacy and were walking around the mall parking lot. Dispatchers said the boys were wearing black suits that covered them from head to toe.

Police looked for the boys but couldn’t find them, so they went to the pharmacy that had reported the teens. A woman working there was visibly nervous and told police what the boys looked like, the report says.

We got ourselves a manhunt!

Another officer had found the boys walking near another pharmacy. The teenagers said they bought the spandex black suits from an online website and that they were walking around just looking for attention. They said their parents had dropped them off.

Whew. That was a close one! What did the police do with the boys?

Police told the teenagers about the impression they had made and called their parents to pick them up.

You mean the same parents who dropped them off? Here’s the source.

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(No, not in the book.) Warning: This post is not suitable for children. And The Juice isn’t just saying that to pique your interest. You will not believe this woman’s hiding place. As reported by The News-Press:

A Pompano Beach woman is in custody at the Lee County Jail for possession of a counterfeit driver’s license and a fraudulent credit card, which she allegedly hid inside her vagina.

Shazam!

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You hear “police chase,” you think of police cars chasing a car, usually a drunk driver. Not this time. Sure, the police were in cars, but not the “perp.” He was on foot, and naked! And the cops bothered to chase him way too long, as reported by wpxi.com:

Police in Beaver County said a naked man led them on a three-mile foot chase through several communities.

Three miles!

Investigators said the man was first spotted near a busy intersection with a lot of traffic on April 20.

A groundskeeper for a nearby cemetery said he was shocked when he saw the man without any clothes on roaming the streets.

“We were working and I saw out of the corner of my eye this flash go by. I looked and I saw his naked butt go by. I didn’t need to see anymore,” said Mike Zorich.

Zorich said the man ran past him and kept running through Beaver Falls Cemetery. “He went by in a flash and that was the end of it,” Zorich said.

Well, maybe that should have been the end of it. But no way was this naked guy going to getting away with it?!

Police estimate he made it through three townships and ran about three miles completely nude through several wooded areas before they were able to catch up with him.

Investigators said they eventually were able to catch him while he was wading through a creek. Police said they have no idea why he was in the water.

The charges?

Carlos Noel Pena, 24, was charged with open lewdness.

Really? Open lewdness? Truly an excellent use of police resources. Here’s the source.

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Then high-school junior Avery Doninger was ticked off that the battle of the bands (Jamfest) was cancelled. So, at home, on her own blog, she posted an entry stating that

Jamfest is canceled due to the douchebags in central office.

As events unfolded, it turns out her characterization was pretty accurate. Her punishment? She was told to apologize to the school superintendent, show her mom the blog entry, and withdraw her candidacy for Class Secretary (an office she held since entering high school). She agreed to the first two, but would not withdraw from the race. So the school refused to let her run (she would have won as a write-in candidate, but the votes were ignored!), and she filed suit, claiming that the school violated her right to free speech.

The result? She lost! “The content of the blog was related to school issues, and it was reasonably foreseeable that other LMHS students would view the blog and that school administrators would become aware of it,” said U.S. District Court Judge Mark Kravitz. I think her Mom, who was praised on local radio for telling Avery “you’re grounded, and we’re going to federal court to file a civil suit,” has it right. She said:

Punishment is up to me. This erodes the training ground for the democratic process, which must be that you have to distrust democracy occasionally in order to make it work. The embedded lesson of democracy at Lewis S. Mills is hollow. Theirs is an overreaching power to orchestrate.

Here’s hoping the Court of Appeals agrees. Update: The Court of Appeals didn’t, upholding Judge Kravitz’s decision. But wait! Ms. Doninger’s attorney is going to appeal the case to the Supreme Court.

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There’s just no substitute for proofreading. Just ask one lawyer, Mr. Puricelli, who represented a man successfully in a civil rights case. The judge described Mr. Puricelli’s written work as “careless, to the point of disrespectful,” and agreed with the defendants that it was “vague, ambiguous, unintelligible, verbose and repetitive.” What were some of the mistakes? Per the judge:

Throughout the litigation, Mr. Puricelli identified the court as “THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE EASTER [sic] DISTRICT OF PENNSYLVANIA.” Considering the religious persuasion of the presiding officer, the “Passover” District would have been more appropriate.” [Judge Jacob Hart, presiding]

Mr. Puricelli, on the other hand, felt the court didn’t understand his side of the story. When the defendant asked the court to reduce Mr. Puricelli’s fees [that they were required by law to pay] due to his typos, Mr. Puricelli wrote this reply to the court:

Had the Defendants not tired [sic] to paper Plaintiff’s counsel to death, some type [sic] would not have occurred. Furthermore, there have been omissions by the Defendants, thus they should not case [sic] stones.

Do you think the judge reduced Mr. Puricelli’s fees? He did. For 209 hours of work performed before the trial, he cut Mr. Puricelli’s hourly rate of $300 to $150. (For the time spent in court, the judge gave him his full rate of $300.) Maybe, when you’re asking a judge to approve your attorney’s fees, you should spell the judge’s name right! Per Judge Hart:

If these mistakes were purposeful, they would be brilliant. However, based on the history of the case and Mr. Puricelli’s filings, we know otherwise. Finally, in the most recent letter to the court, asking that we vacate the settlement agreement, Mr. Puricelli identifies the undersigned as ‘Honorable Jacon [sic] Hart.’ I appreciate the elevation to what sounds like a character in the Lord of the Rings, but alas, I am but a judge.

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Well … yes, and no. Okay, maybe. According to the Court’s latest ruling, yes. According to some prior rulings, no. Read on, from ANSA.it:

It is OK to say ”Who the f*** do you think you are?” to a boss as an ”instinctive” reaction to being reprimanded, Italy’s highest court said Thursday.

The expression was ”disrespectful but not threatening” and was not the sort of ”full-blown insubordination” that might justify a sacking, the Cassation Court said.

The court’s ruling, which sets precedents, came in the case of a Naples rest home assistant who was fired when he blew his top after his boss scolded him for breaking plates. The supreme court first OK’d the F-word two years ago, earning world headlines, but has since flip-flopped on the issue.

In July 2007, in its landmark ruling, the court cleared an Abruzzo town councillor who told the mayor to ”f*** off” during a stormy town meeting because the expression was now ”common usage”.

But it changed tack a few months later by ruling bosses couldn’t say employees were ”doing f***-all”.

A similar case last May saw the court take another view, saying mayors could use the word to swear at contractors.

But last July it said bosses must not swear at their staff in a case where a Sicilian company director accused an employee of not understanding ”a f***ing thing”.

Make up your mind already!

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lawnmower%20funny%20riding%20mower.jpg North Pole, Alaska (really) resident Wyatt Lewis got an unusual DUI. As reported by the Anchorage Daily News, here’s how fellow North Pole resident Anne Sterle described it:

“I was woken at about 1 in the morning by hearing a lawn mower outside my window,” Sterle said. “And it scared the heck out of me, because my husband was out of town.

“The first thing that went through my mind was someone was stealing our mower. And then I thought, wait a minute, we don’t have a riding mower.”

Newman! This was bad news for Mr. Lewis, as Ms. Sterle then called 911. What happened when the police arrived?

There was a chase, reaching speeds up to 5 mph.

The trooper followed Lewis for about 200 yards, according to a report in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner. The trooper turned on his lights and siren. Lewis kept on mowing.

The trooper “was too embarrassed to call it a pursuit over the airwaves,” spokeswoman Megan Peters said.

Mr. Lewis, coming in at over twice the legal limit, was charged with driving under the influence and failing to stop at the direction of a peace officer. Here’s the source.