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Perhaps the only time it’s safe to laugh in open court is when the judge does. A North Carolina man thought otherwise, and paid for it in a big way. As reported by The Fayetteville Observer:

A Cumberland County judge didn’t find it funny when a man kept laughing in her courtroom Friday.

Judge Toni King asked Johnny Montgomery, 47, what was so amusing. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Montgomery told her, “It’s none of your business.”

Um. It is now. Note that Mr. Montgomery was in court for misdemeanor charges “of communicating threats and trespassing.”

[Judge] King ordered him removed from her District Courtroom. As deputies searched Montgomery, they found more than 3 grams of crack cocaine on him, Sheriff’s Office said.

Oh my. Those misdemeanor charges are looking pretty trifling.

Now [Mr. Montgomery] is charged with felony possession of cocaine. [He] … was taken to jail where his bail was set at $1,500.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Montgomery.

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Have you ever had to go to the bathroom so badly that you couldn’t make it from the bar to the bathroom? Yeah, neither has The Juice. One Adolfo Mosmann would answer differently. Or, if he could make it to the bathroom, he decided not to make the trip. As succinctly stated by the sorority girls in Animal House, ewwwwww! Per The Orlando Sentinel

Adolfo Mosmann, 24, who is from Brazil and in the U.S. on a student visa, was arrested about 1:15 a.m. Monday.

An off-duty Orange County Sheriff’s Office deputy who was working security at the [House of Blues] in the 1400 block of East Buena Vista Drive noted in an incident report that Mosmann was caught urinating in the cups and placing them on the bar, where other people were drinking, even though bathroom facilities were nearby.

The security guy must have been … pissed.

[Mr. Mosmann] was thrown out of the club about 11:45 p.m. Sunday and told not to return, documents show.

And of course a guy who urinates in cups at the bar is going to do as he is told …

An employee and another witness later saw Mosmann return to the club in Downtown Disney Westside. He was wearing a different shirt.

A different shirt? Brilliant!

Mosmann, who has a Jacksonville address, was described in an Orange County sheriff’s report as “intoxicated.”

He then was arrested on a trespassing charge.

Sadly, this bender may cost Mr. Mosmann A LOT. Why?

Rosters show that Mosmann has played soccer on college teams at Jackson Community College in Michigan and University of South Florida.

It is unclear whether his student visa is in danger because of his arrest.

“While I cannot comment on the specifics of this case, convictions for some criminal offenses can result in the revocation of student visas,” said Dani Bennett, a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. “If a student visa is revoked, the individual may request reconsideration of the revocation.”

Where is he now? Free on a $500 bond, and hopefully taking a break from the bar scene.

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The queen of the McNuggets. The Juice blogged about Ms. Dushane previously, but at the time, the video of the incident had not been released. It has now, and here it is:

As reported by The Toledo Blade:

The video was made public, according to the Lucas County prosecutor’s office, because Dushane did not appeal her July 7 sentencing by Lucas County Common Pleas Judge Linda Jennings to three years probation and 60 days in the Corrections Center of Northwest Ohio.

She was ordered to pay $1,531.97 in restitution. Dushane pleaded no contest May 11 to one count of vandalism at McDonald’s, 90 Main St.

The video shows her throwing a bottle through the drive-through window, which she then further breaks with a fist. She later admitted she was drunk.

Her quest began New Year’s Day in the drive-through at the McDonald’s, where she’d gone for chicken McNuggets. By her arrival, though, breakfast items – not McNuggets – were being served.

You can read a fair amount more here.

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Perhaps it was just the candor pander, but The Juice is always impressed when someone just fesses up, like this woman did when she included a bag of cocaine with her bank deposit! No “ur, uh, um” from this woman, as reported by The Hartford Courant:

A Wethersfield woman making a bank deposit about 4 p.m. Thursday included something extra in the envelope she passed to a drive-up teller at the Rockville Bank on Ellington Road, police said.

Contained in Kendl Murphy’s deposit envelope was a small bag containing a white powder, police said. While a teller handled Murphy’s transaction, other bank staff called police.

Responding officers used a chemical field test and the powder tested positive for cocaine, said Sgt. Scott Custer.

Aha! Now what do you have to say for yourself?

As for the suspected cocaine, “she said something to the effect that it was left over from the weekend and she didn’t realize she left it in that envelope,” Custer said.

The less forthcoming of you might be thinking about her confession up and wondering “was she high?” And the answer is … nope.

Police tested Murphy and determined she was not under the influence of anything at the time of the incident.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Murphy.

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Does marinating a cat really enhance the flavor? Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. (And please, PETA folks, no more emails. The Juice truly likes animals, especially cats.) Mr. Gary Korkuc was caught literally marinating his cat. Here’s the story, as reported by www.buffalonews.com:

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Very uncool. But why?

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered.

… he [also] told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] A pregnant male cat? Anyway, it looks like Navarro will be fine, as he was cleaned up and is awaiting adoption. And Mr. Korkuc?

[He] was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn’t listed.

Think he’s glad he opted for an unlisted number?

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Yet another traffic stop for faulty equipment (no tail lights – doh!) that leads to … finding drugs in a body cavity? True. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

August 9, 2010

Summary: Officer Anthony Voltz and Tyler Walker conducted a traffic stop on a vehicle for no tail lights. The passenger Sherry Luster had four felony warrants and was taken into custody. Inside the vehicle officers also located multiple baggies and two scales consistent with narcotics. Ms. Luster was transported to CJC where it was discovered she had secreted 3.5 grams of crack cocaine in her vagina. Ms. Luster was charged with possession of a schedule II substance.

“Secreted”? Not bad for a dry police blotter.

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How can you entice men to go to something, like say, church? In a word – strippers. There’s some crazy stuff going on in Warsaw, Ohio… From The Columbus Dispatch:

Every weekend for the last four years, [Pastor Bill] Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over [strip-club owner Tommy] George’s joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers’ license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.

Can they do that?

George … sued the church in federal court several years ago, claiming a violation of his constitutional rights, but he lost.

Okay, Plan B ….

Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.

It’s just that they’ve come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.

They bring lawn chairs and – yesterday, anyway – grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.

How do the parties view this battle of wills?

[Dunfee] said their presence has united his church members and reinvigorated their mission to shut down the club.

“They have now seen the evil firsthand,” Dunfee said. “This has just made us stronger.”

George laughed at that notion.

“They’re just mad,” he said, “because their wives won’t let them come to my club.”

You can read a lot more about the dueling protests (and see photos) here.

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Do you think a man’s feet can smell so bad that he got kicked out of a university? Yes, and Teunis Tenbrook has been fighting getting the boot (sorry) FOR 10 YEARS! Exactly how a case like this can take 10 years is a mystery to me, but whatever Mr. Tenbrook did, it worked. As reported by UPI:

A judge ruled to allow Teunis Tenbrook, who was banned from attending classes at Erasmus University in Rotterdam after administrators said his foot odor was distracting to professors and students, to resume his education at the school after a 10-year lapse, The Sun reported Tuesday.

The judge said professors and students would “just have to hold their noses and bear it” if the smell of Tenbrook’s feet bothers them in the future.

The sweet smell of victory!

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Go into the right bathroom in Japan, and you’ll find an envelope with a note and a 10,000 yen ($116 US) note. So far, the “mystery lavatory man” has left such a gift in 425 bathrooms throughout government offices across Japan. The reason is unknown, although the notes provide a clue:

Enclosed is a gift of ¥10,000. Please use this for your ascetic training and devote yourself to good deeds, keeping a pure heart and not holding evil thoughts in your precious human heart.

Unfortunately for the mystery man, the money is not being spent that way. Authorities believe all of the money has been turned over to them. If the money isn’t claimed, it goes to the municipality where it was found.

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bicyclist%20cyclist%20finger%20flipping%20bird%20fuck%20you.jpg For your reading pleasure, here are some choice 2007 legal-related highlights from an article in the Arkansas Times:

Worst citation: A Little Rock bicycle rider was cited in May for shouting “Turn on your lights!” as two police cruisers sped past him on Seventh Street near the state Capitol. One of the policemen stopped and wrote the cyclist a ticket for expressing “dislike” of how the police were doing their jobs. Dismissed, of course. Is there such a thing as a ticket that an officer can give himself for being a prick?

Worst nap: Police arrested a Camden motorist in May and charged him with DWI when he fell asleep at the wheel after placing a to-go order in the drive-through lane at McDonald’s.

Worst class to attend if you’re a raccoon: An agri/shop teacher killed a live, caged raccoon with a nail gun in November at the start of a Huntsville High School class on wildlife skinning. School authorities saw no need for a reprimand or anything, and in fact with all the attention the coon-killer teacher became something of a folk hero at Huntsville, one admirer showing support by killing and skinning a dog and hanging the carcass on the gatepost of another Huntsville teacher who was thought to have reported the original coon-killing to the Humane Society.

Worst geezery: A state appeals court in March upheld a lower court’s ruling that an 85-year-old Hot Springs psychologist should pay about $1,000 a month in alimony to his estranged wife, a psychiatrist, age 52. The court said the man squandered the couple’s marital assets (earned mostly by the wife), using the money to buy cars and expensive lingerie for young Chinese women and to give them large sums of cash, instead of using it to pay bills. Last straw was said to be a box with a snake inside that turned up on the wife’s driveway, with a note inside saying, “Die, Bitch.” From guess who.

Worst packing: David Huckabee, son of the erstwhile governor, was arrested in April when Little Rock National Airport authorities found a loaded pistol in his luggage as he attempted to board a plane. He said he forgot it was in there.

Worst trunk surprise: Police found a missing car and returned it to its owner, a North Little Rock woman, in February, without bothering to check out the smell coming from the trunk, which the woman found to contain the body of her slain husband, who had also been reported missing.

Best news for sadists: In opposing a legislative measure in March to prevent the torture of household pets and horses, the outdoor editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette warned homeowners that if the bill passed they could be arrested if their pussycat hassled birds at a yard feeder. Such nonsense, fanned by the Farm Bureau, frightened legislators into voting to let the sicko torturers, abusers, and starvers of Arkansas animals proceed with their fun.

Best hole: A sheriff’s deputy lunched at the International House of Pancakes at Benton in March, then went into the men’s room and blew a hole in the ceiling with his service revolver, then exited to explain to customers and employees that the bang they’d heard wasn’t a gunshot but rather the sound of a commode lid falling. Then he made a rather hasty departure. The Benton Courier ran a big picture of the hole.

You can read the entire Arkansas Times article (long, and with some entertaining entries) here.

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