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Well, this is one of the most one-way relationships ever. As in, a truckload of money went one way, and “virtually” nothing went the other way … As reported by The Naperville Sun

A Naperville man is out $200,000 after wiring money to an online girlfriend he didn’t realize was a fake.

NOOOOO! 200,000 clams! And it would have continued, had the scammer not overdone it.

The 48-year-old man called Naperville police at 6:57 p.m. Wednesday to ask for help in rescuing the woman, whom he believed had been kidnapped in London, according to a police report.

He told police he started the relationship online 2 1/2 years ago. During that time, the man wired about $200,000 total to several different bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States, according to the police report.

An identification card the woman provided to the man was a sample driver’s license from Florida, the report said. According to the report, when the officer stated the female did not exist, the man “was in disbelief.”

Hopefully he has some cash left, and stays off the internet … Here’s the source.

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That’s not a question this man will want to answer. Why? Because the answer is … dognapping. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A canine con man was busted Wednesday after trying to extort an $8,000 cash ransom from a North Naples woman in exchange for her two white 3-year-old Samoyeds, Ava and Snowdot, according to a news release from the Collier County Sheriff’s Office.

On Monday, a man, later identified as Dathan Charles Cyr, sent a text message to the woman asking her if she was still looking for her two lost dogs that had been missing since April 14th when they got lost, deputies said.

The brokenhearted woman reportedly had placed ads in local publications and passed out fliers offering a reward for her lost pooches.

The woman answered the mysterious texter, who claimed to be a Latina female named ‘Diana’ who lived in Immokalee, that she was still looking for her dogs. ‘Diana’ claimed to have the dogs, the release stated.

‘Diana’ then allegedly threatened to shoot the dogs if the woman wouldn’t pay the $8,000 ransom.

You bastard!

So the woman contacted deputies who devised a plan to collar the doggie-napper.

A meeting with ‘Diana’ was arranged, and on Wednesday an envelope was dropped off at a designated location in Naples chosen by ‘Diana.”

Clearly “Diana” never watches TV.

When ‘Diana”, aka Dathan Charles Cyr, showed up five minutes later and snatched the envelope, deputies stationed nearby put a leash on the suspect and later hauled him the The Big Dog House, according to the report.

For added measure a detective dialed the phone number that the suspect used to call the woman…and the cell phone in Cyr’s car’s center console began to ring, according to deputies.

Boom!

Cyr reportedly later ‘fessed up to the crime in an interview with detectives.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot, and photos of the dogs.

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So this gent needed money to buy some pot. It turns out he’s a mailman. Or was. Per The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

[Former Des Moines mailman Charles] Wright, 57 [a Postal Service employee for 34 years, and Army veteran] was caught last year stealing gift cards from dozens of letters sent to residents along his Des Moines area route. He used stolen cash to buy marijuana, which he then smoked instead of delivering the rest of the mail he was paid to carry. He pleaded guilty in January to opening and destroying mail from numerous customers between July 2010 and July 2012. Wright searched for greeting cards in his bag, which he opened, then tore up and tossed away the cards.

Hmm. Hard to believe he wasn’t motivated to finish his route after getting high.

He was confronted about the thefts on July 26, 2012, and quickly confessed. In a letter to the court, Wright apologized for his actions, which he described as a “horrific error in judgment.” “As I sit here today I really don’t have a reason for the crime I committed other than straight up stupidity, not realizing at the time all of the people I would be hurting,” Wright wrote in the letter. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would ever be in this situation,” he continued. “I have truly had a blessed life.”

Props to Mr. Wright for just owning up, without offering any excuses. Apparently the judge felt similarly.

Wright … was sentenced Wednesday, April 10, in U.S. District Court to 60 hours of community service and fined $500. Wright will spend two years on probation and also is required to pay back [the] $469 he was caught stealing from postal customers.

You’ll find the source here.

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If you ride the subway frequently (The Juice did back in the day, before he discovered bicycling to work) you always see people nodding off. Chances are, though, that very few of them were toting this kind of merchandise. As reported by Brooklynpaper.com:

A crook stole a bookbag from a sleeping straphanger riding the D train near the Pacific Street subway station on Apr. 11, police said.

The man fell asleep at 3 am, and when he woke up, his bag — which contained a laptop, credit card, iPod, designer jacket, passport, and $200 in cash — was gone without a trace.

Ouch.

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Unlike The Juice’s recent post about the drunk driver who called the police and turned himself in, this gent took a different route. Per The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

The driver of an SUV that hit a police car stopped on the shoulder of a road faces drunken driving charges in Lambertville, police reported today.

That certainly makes for an easy arrest.

While the Delaware Township patrol car was disabled in the accident, police said that the patrolman turned on his overhead lights and stopped the driver of the SUV, Gregg Oldani, 37, of Ringoes.

And by the way …

Oldani was also wanted in Bucks County, Pa., in relation to earlier driving while intoxicated charges, Lambertville police said.

Not a good night for Mr. Oldani. Fortunately nobody was injured. The charges?

… drunken and careless driving, possession of an open container of alcohol in a motor vehicle and driving with an expired driver’s license.

Here’s the source.

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If you’re going to burgle a joint, wouldn’t you want to make sure nobody is home? As reported by wptv.com:

Juneem Barnes was taking a nap Thursday morning, when loud noises woke him up in his Port St. Lucie home. Police said those sounds were from would-be burglars.

“They were just making a lot of noise, and I was half-asleep,” Barnes recalled. “Then they came in my room.”

Now it’s on.

Port St. Lucie police say two teenagers had broken in and started packing up items to steal. At first, Barnes thought the alleged thieves were friends of his roommate, Devon Garcia.

“I thought it was him and his friends, just chilling,” said Barnes. “But when they came in my room, they started running, and I’m like, why are they running? So I got up, and obviously they were trying to steal stuff out the house.”

Police said the teens did run, but not before leaving behind a cell phone in Garcia’s room.

Bam!

“I found their cell phone, and it wasn’t locked,” said Garcia. “So I started going through it to see the calls, and stuff like that.”

When Garcia saw a phone number titled ‘MOM,’ he called the number. Port St. Lucie police spoke with one of the teen’s mother, who helped lead them to make the arrests.

Click here for the source.

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So do you think someone can get jail time for watching a cartoon? Would it make any difference if the cartoons were sexual? Decide for yourself, after reading this from stuff.co.nz:

Ronald Clark downloaded the Japanese anime cartoons three years ago, setting in train events that would see him in court in Auckland and jailed for three months for possessing objectionable material, and sparking debate as to what harm is caused by digitally created pornography.

That’s a yes. Perhaps a little background will assist you, perhaps not.

Clark has previous convictions for indecently assaulting a teenage boy and has been through rehabilitation programmes, but the video nasties he was watching in this case were all cartoons and drawings. He says the videos came from an established tradition of Japanese manga and hentai (cartoon pornography), a massive, mainstream industry in that country.

They weren’t even depictions of people – Clark’s lawyer Roger Bowden described them as “pixies and trolls” that “you knew at a glance weren’t human”. Bowden said the conviction for possessing objectionable material was “the law gone mad”.

However, while the cartoon characters were elves and pixies, they were also clearly young elves and pixies, which led to concerns the images were linked to child sexual abuse.

So what do you think? If you’re uncertain, you can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Google probably gets sued everyday for some wacky reason. Add this one to the list – in the “Google satellite – underwear” category. As reported by The Mainichi Daily News:

A woman [in Fukuoka] is suing search-engine giant Google Inc., saying her psychological condition worsened after discovering that a search for her address brought up a photo of her underwear hanging out on her veranda.

The woman, who is in her 20s, filed suit against Google at the Fukuoka District Court for 600,000 yen [$7,162 US] in consolation money and other payments.

Opening arguments were held on Dec. 15. The woman said, “I was overwhelmed with anxiety that I might be the target of a sex crime. It caused me to lose my job, and I moved my residence.” Google said that it is hurrying to confirm the facts of the case.

According to the suit and other sources, the woman discovered the photograph in spring of this year when she used Google to do a search for the address of her Fukuoka apartment, where she lived alone.

The suit says the woman already had a form of obsessive compulsive disorder before seeing the photograph, and after seeing it her symptoms worsened. She began worrying that her activities were being secretly photographed throughout the day. She was fired from the hospital where she worked, and moved to a new residence.

After the court session, the woman told the Mainichi that around October, the month in which she filed the lawsuit, the image no longer came up when searching for the address in Google.

“I could understand if it was just a picture of the outside of the apartment, but showing a person’s underwear hanging outside is absolutely wrong,” said the woman.

So, if you have a clothes line up, you might want to … uh … gotta run!

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Maybe it’s because texting or posting something on Facebook, or leaving a voice mail message (Mel Gibson!) is so easy. Whatever the reason, people really do a lot of stupid things with technology. A recent example is brought to you by The Belleville (Illinois) News-Democrat.

An Alton man faces charges for allegedly posting what officials called an “alarming message” on a social networking site.

Go on.

Madison County Sheriff’s deputies arrested 29-year-old Joshua Michael Clark Tuesday after they were tipped off to a possible threat posted on Clark’s Facebook page.

According to police, Clark had posted, “Hey Madison County Courthouse, tick, tick, tick…boom.”

Brilliant!

Deputies interviewed Clark, and said that he confessed to posting the message. He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.

Did he mean it?

Police said the threat was not legitimate and there was no bomb or device found.

You’ll find the source here.