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Couples fight. Couples make up. In between, sometimes things are done or said. But this? Gents, if you insist on continuing to read this, be forewarned, it will hurt. As reported by The Jersey Journal (at nj.com):

A Jersey City man who went to sleep after an argument with his girlfriend was awakened late Thursday night when she bit his scrotum, tearing right through the skin, authorities said.

Yeowwwwwww!!!!!

Linda Mendez, 40, was charged early this morning with aggravated assault and domestic violence, over the objection of her boyfriend, who told police he did not want to press charges. The mother of three appeared in court yesterday and her bail was set at $35,000 with a 10 percent cash option.

The 46-year-old victim told police that the two argued at 11:30 Thursday, and to avoid the argument he went to sleep, reports said. Minutes later Mendez woke him by biting his neck and his scrotum, causing bleeding, police said.

Maybe he doesn’t want to press charges because he’s terrified what she’ll bite next? Here’s the source, with a photo of Ms. Mendez.

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This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio:

Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main Streets in East Toledo early Friday morning and asked for chicken nuggets. When the drive-thru attendant told her the restaurant was only serving breakfast and that the item was not available, Dushane reached through the window and punched the attendant in the mouth.

Talk about shooting the messenger … But that’s not all …

After a night manager came to the window, Dushane began swinging her fists at her. The manager attempted to pull Dushane through the window by her hair. After being released, Dushane then punched through the drive-thru’s glass window.

Damn!

Dushane was treated at Mercy St. Charles Hospital for her injuries and then incarcerated at the Lucas County Jail.

In court on Saturday, Dushane pleaded not guilty to a felony vandalism charge. She was released from police custody on her own recognizance and is scheduled to be in court next on Jan. 28.

Think she’ll be going back to that McDonald’s anytime soon? Nope.

A judge has ordered that Dushane not visit the 90 Main St. McDonald’s location again.

That leaves about 13,000 other McDonald’s (in the U.S. – really) that she is free to visit… Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Dushane.

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There’s this thing called “plausible deniability.” “Hey, I did not know anything about that!” See if you think this gent can rely on this defense. As reported by The Guyana Chronicle:

Colin Manson, 25, of Lot 377 Turkeyen, Greater Georgetown, was remanded to prison yesterday on a drug trafficking charge.

The prosecutor said the defendant was at Ogle Airport, with an intention of going to Port Kaituma, North West District, when a bag on his back was searched by (CANU) officers and found to contain the narcotic.

Now, maybe he could argue that someone put the drugs in his backpack without his knowledge. But …

On being taken to the CANU Head Office, another search was conducted on the defendant’s person and one more package containing the illegal substance was discovered in his crotch, the prosecutor related.

Now what do you have to say?

Manson denied having knowledge of the illegal substance.

Perhaps Mr. Manson might want to consider an alternative defense?

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Maybe this guy and the Niceville police officers are all regular Juice readers? While this is unlikely (The Juice aspires, but is realistic about his current reach), their behavior is indicative of the knowledge of a regular reader. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

On Oct. 17 officers were called to a Natheny Street residence to enforce an emergency injunction against a man, who was told to stay away from a woman and her son.

He gathered his personal belongings from a back bedroom, then put them back in the room he gathered them from.

As he was leaving, the woman and her son asked that he take his copy of the injunction with him. “The defendant laughed as he vacated,” the officer wrote. “I stepped to the door and verbally advised him, ‘Do not come within 500 feet of this residence,’ and the defendant’s reply was, ‘F— you.’ “

As he was crossing a nearby church parking lot, “he displayed his middle finger towards us as we passed. (The Bird),” the officer wrote.

An f-bomb and a bird, but no arrest – at least not for that.

The man returned to within 372.5 feet of the residence as measured by laser before stopping and challenging police to measure his distance.

Doh!

He was charged with violation of an injunction and has a Nov. 13 court date.

 

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Hey lady, get a life. If you were so offended by what you thought this guy was doing, why did you follow him? For the children? As reported by tcpalm.com:

A 34-year-old woman told Port St. Lucie police she saw a man in his vehicle in a plaza on Southwest Port St. Lucie Boulevard. He was “making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch,” a recently released police report states.

The woman didn’t see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating. He started to circle the parking lot, and she began following him and called police.

Get a hobby! Or is being a busy body your hobby? Or is it keeping the world safe from masturbators?

He noticed the woman looking at him and stopped.

Police spoke to the man, also 34, who explained “he got the urge to scratch his testicles,” a report states.

“He raised his right short leg up and began to scratch himself because of a rash … on his testicles,” a report states.

The proof is in the, um, er, uh …

He asked whether he could show police the rash to prove he wasn’t engaged in anything else.

He “presented” his testicles to an officer, who verified the rash.

Police determined the man, who has no criminal history, did not expose himself and found no proof that he was performing lewd acts in public.

Think this one is making its way around the police precinct?

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Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away with some cash. (For example, see this recent Juice post.) Until Legal Juice is required reading for all police officers, The Juice has no doubt that this will happen over and over again. The most recent example was reported by The Marietta Daily Journal.

Amy Barnes, a member of the Occupy movement, says she flipped off police and cussed at them as she was on her bike on Austell Road near her Marietta home. Two Cobb Police officers had teenagers stopped outside a store as Barnes showed her displeasure from the moving bike.

A two-fer – flipping and cussing. Whether she was disrespectful or not is irrelevant. The First Amendment applies regardless. So what happened next?

Police followed and arrested her couple of blocks away.”They told me I shouldn’t be presenting a lewd gesture in front of children,” said Barnes.

The children!

Police charged Barnes with disorderly conduct. She says she spent 23 hours in jail — six in solitary confinement. The misdemeanor is still making its’ way through the courts, but Barnes’ attorney, Cynthia Counts, says police violated Barnes’ constitutional rights.

“It’s infringing speech; the government cannot just chase down a citizen and arrest them when they speak their mind,” said Counts.

Yes, it is. Now stop wasting everyone’s time, dismiss the criminal case, and pay the lady. And next time, as difficult as you may find it, just walk away. Here’s the source. (Image via Thirteen-Fifty/Shutterstock.com)

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So you say you did this for lunch money? Who knew the cost of living in Goose Creek, South Carolina was so high? As reported by The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina):

Goose Creek police responded to an alarm at Stratford High School about 9:30 p.m. They chased down a man with a yellow crowbar, a prying instrument and $125 in dollar bills that had been taken from vending machines, according to the incident report.

The man told police he was breaking in because he was starting a new job the next day and needed lunch money, according to the report.

And the next day, and the day after that, and …

Matthew Thomas Moses, 33, of Ladson was charged with second-degree burglary, making implements capable of being used in a crime and resisting arrest. He’s being held at the Berkeley County jail.

Here’s the source.

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Who do you think this woman called after the crash, on the way to the hospital? She called her insurance company – to report it, right? Well, not exactly. As reported by PhillyBurbs.com:

On the way to the hospital after she was involved in a four-car accident last October, Regina Whitehead did what most people do: She called her insurance company.

Really? As a personal injury lawyer, The Juice can assure you that this is not something most crash victims do in an ambulance, on their way to the hospital. Anyway …

Only she didn’t call to report the accident, but to add comprehensive, collision and rental coverage, according to the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Office.

On Friday, Whitehead was charged with insurance fraud and criminal attempt/theft by deception. The 22-year-old Ambler woman was arraigned before Bensalem District Judge Joseph Falcone, who set her free on $25,000 unsecured bail.

Both charges are third-degree felonies punishable by up to seven years in prison.

According to the AG’s office, Whitehead’s 1998 Ford Taurus was involved in the accident Oct. 6, 2011, shortly before 4 p.m. on West Chester Pike in Chester County. At the time, Whitehead was insured through Infinity Insurance, which has an office in Bensalem, according to a probable cause affidavit.

About an hour after the accident — during an ambulance ride to Chester County Hospital for treatment — Whitehead allegedly called the insurance company to add extra coverage to her car, according to court documents.

Better late than never? Not exactly.

A few hours later on the night of the accident, she called Infinity to report she was involved in an accident and to verify that she had comprehensive collision coverage. She was told during the phone call that if she didn’t have the coverage in place at the time of the accident, the insurer wouldn’t cover the damage, according to the attorney general.

The next day, Whitehead spoke with an Infinity representative in Bensalem and specifically affirmed that her collision coverage was added “before the accident,” according to the affidavit. Later that same day, though, she withdrew her insurance claim.

The attorney general said Whitehead admitted last month that she added the coverage after being injured in the accident and while in the ambulance and then lied about it. “Whitehead said she did this at the advice of a friend so she would be covered by the insurance company,” according to the attorney general.

Time for a new “go to” friend.

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Criminals don’t always make the best decisions. Here’s an excellent example, as reported by the South Asian Post:

Angry villagers in eastern India [Jharkhand] burned eight robbers and beat four others to death, police said. About 20 robbers raided a remote village in Jharkhand state, but were surrounded by hundreds of villagers, who began chasing them, the police said. “Four were beaten to death, while eight took shelter in a house, which was set on fire by the villagers,” Mohamed Nehal, a senior police officer, said. Armed villagers stood guard to ensure none of the robbers escaped.

Yikes. Think that village will be safe for a while?