Squeezed on:

sleeping.jpg

Next time you’re on the bus, take a look around. Of the folks who are awake, you’re going to see a lot of bored faces. But not on this bus ride in Orlando, Florida! Why is that? Well, per The Orlando Sentinel:

A Longwood woman was arrested Wednesday evening after stripping naked on a Lynx bus and getting off at the Central Station on Garland Avenue in Orlando police say.

Bam!

Two officers who were at the station at about 5 p.m. when 33-year-old Rosetta Jackson exited the bus asked why she was naked but she offered no explanation.

“Jackson immediately brought her hands up in front of her face and began saying take me to jail,” her arrest report said.

 

Squeezed on:

sh%20shh%20shhh%20shhhh.png

The first rule of criminal activity could easily be: Don’t talk about the criminal activity. It should go without saying that you don’t want to post MORE THAN 36 YOUTUBE VIDEOS about your criminal activity! Now you know … but it’s too late for this guy. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A former Auburn man who showed off the progress of his marijuana growing operation on YouTube with more three dozen videos before he was arrested by deputy sheriffs has agreed to plead guilty instead of going on trial.

Kyle Berry, 41, filed a notice to plead guilty to drug charges stemming from his arrest in November for allegedly growing $16,000 worth of marijuana in his home.

Guess how they caught him. Wrong! Here’s how:

He first got the attention of the Rockingham Sheriffs Drug Task Force late last year after posting a series of videos about his indoor marijuana growing operation. One video captured the reflection of Berry’s face on a foil covered wall.

Investigators matched that image with a prior booking photo, used it as evidence to obtain arrest and search warrants.

Boom! Is it just The Juice, or does this seem like something you would see on TV? You can read more about Mr. Berry’s troubles here.

Squeezed on:

This is some serious chutzpah. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

A Chicago police officer fired after a video camera recorded him beating a female bartender [see above] is asking a judge to review his termination.

The grounds? They include:

[improperly] using the infamous videotape in deciding to fire him; and

wrongly viewing as a problem Abbate’s decision to invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination at least 75 times during his board hearing.

Likelihood of success?

Abbate’s challenge could be moot, as he was convicted of felony aggravated battery in criminal court last summer. The city bars the hiring of people with felony convictions as police officers.

Um … er … nevermind.

Update: Not only was his termination upheld, but Chicago was hit with an $850,000 verdict in the civil suit. You can read more here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

car%20crashing%20building%20crash.jpg

It may seem hard to believe, but people drive their cars into houses pretty much every day. Often times, not surprisingly, alcohol is a factor. It appears that was the case here too. Unfortunately for this gent, he crashed a party, literally, and they were not pleased. As reported by komonews.com (Seattle, Washington):

Pierce County Sheriff’s deputies received a report of a possible drunk driver in the area of Military Road East and 13th Avenue Court East just after 11 p.m., said sheriff’s spokesperson Det. Ed Troyer. The driver ultimately blew through a intersection at Military and B Street, then drove straight through a wooden fence and collided with the front porch of a home in the 15100 block of 2nd Avenue East, Troyer said.

Er, sorry?

“Some of the partygoers, who had also been drinking, promptly got down, took the driver out of the car, assaulted him and gave him a pretty good beating,” Troyer said.

That there’s what you call an understatement. He was beaten unconscious.

Neighbors in the area heard the whole thing unfold. “I hear ‘Drag him out of the car. Let’s kill this mother (expletive),'” said Rob Davidson.

Not exactly a proportionate response.

Davidson said he tried to check on the man as more than a dozen people attacked him.

“They have the guy out of the car and they’re kicking him while he’s on the ground,” he said.

A combat veteran who has served in Afghanistan, Davidson tried to protect the driver. “I put myself in the way, wanting them to focus more of their attention on me than on the man so they didn’t kill him,” he said.

The cops are here, so it’s over. No?

Deputies arrived, found the driver unconscious next to the car and told the partygoers to step back, but several in the group refused to comply and charged the deputies, Troyer said.

Perhaps that’s not too surprising since they wanted to kill a guy for wrecking a porch.

“We arrived and almost had a mini-riot, and had to pepper spray to clear the crowd,” Troyer said.

Yikes.

The deputies used an entire can of pepper spray to get the crowd to move back, then arrested two men for investigation of assault on the driver. Meanwhile, the driver was taken to St. Joseph’s Hospital for treatment of his injuries and will be arrested for investigation of DUI, Troyer said.

Troyer says in those situations, it’s best to leave the justice to law enforcement.

Ya think? Here’s the source, with a video.

Squeezed on:

fuck%20tony%20romo%20cowboys%20license%20plate.jpg

Yeah, yeah. Someone has to review vanity plate applications in every state. Of course, what is approved and what isn’t never seems to make a whole lot of sense. If you want to see A TON of plates requested in Florida and whether they were accepted or rejected, click here. Here’s a sampling, as reported by WTSP.com:

While G8TR H8R, G8TR H8R2, G8R H8, G8RS SUK, and G8R PIMP were all rejected, G8TR HTR was approved in 2007.

While OLD FART was rejected, HORNMAN was approved.

While GUN PLAY was rejected, GUN SAFE was approved.

While BIG TURD was rejected, BG JONSN was approved.

Unfortunately for Rays fans, neither SOX-H8TR nor YKS SUK was approved.

So how are these momentous decisions made?

“(We review) things that would be generally objectionable,” said Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicle (DHSMV) spokesperson Leslie Palmer. “Things dealing with race (and) things…of a blatant sexual nature.”

Before a license plate is rejected, the majority of a special DHSMV committee must indicate it could be offensive to a large group of people. Then, one of the agency heads still must uphold the committee’s findings.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

guilty.jpg

At some point you go from being a repeat offender to a career criminal. There’s no set number for that, but The Juice is comfortable saying that, after 42 convictions you become a career criminal. As reported by The Anchorage Daily News:

A suspected drunken driver with a long history of DUIs left a trail of wrecked vehicles and injury between Midtown and South Anchorage Wednesday evening, police reported on Thursday.

John Hamilton, 52, faces 13 new charges resulting from, as police tell it, a drunken rampage on wheels. He crashed into police vehicles, rear-ended a sedan and broadsided a Subaru, sending two passengers to the hospital, police say. An officer was hurt too. Hamilton had no insurance or driver’s license, police said.

His lengthy criminal record in Alaska is mainly misdemeanors but includes sexual assault and felony theft, according to the charging document filed Thursday. He has repeat convictions as a peeping Tom and for indecent exposure, five convictions for driving under the influence and three more for refusing to take a breath test, which counts the same as a DUI. His first conviction came in 1979 when he was 18 and underage in a bar, and one of his most recent stemmed from an incident last year when, according to court records, he peeped on girls in the family dressing room and a woman in the shower at Alaska Club South.

If you want the details on the rampage, and if you want to see a photo of Mr. Hamilton, click here.

Squeezed on:

sign%20wacky%20crazy%20silly%20dumb%20stupid.jpg

Who is the source of these strange driving-related laws? Avis. Here are some of the laws Avis found, which are published in a “Holiday Highway Code.”

In Cyprus, it’s illegal to drink ANYTHING while you are driving, including water.

In Greece, if you park illegally, the police may seize your license plates!

In Romania and Russia, “it’s actually against the law to drive a dirty vehicle.”

In Denmark, “before you turn the ignition, make sure you check for people under the car – a legal requirement alongside checking the brakes, lights, steering and horn before you drive.”

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

mug%20shot%20female.jpg

If you have ever doubted the highly addictive nature of crack, this body cavity smuggling story will disabuse of that notion. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:

A Gainesville woman is facing multiple drug charges after being arrested initially for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia and then, authorities say, trying to smuggle into the jail two crack pipes — one still loaded with crack — in a most uncomfortable fashion.

Let’s take it from the top.

Cynthia M. Scholes, 41, of 328 SW 34th St., Apt. 29, was a passenger in a car stopped just before midnight Wednesday in the 100 block of Williston Road for speeding, police reported.

Okay, a routine speeding stop …

After the driver consented to a search of the vehicle, police reported finding a cigar wrapper containing about 3 grams of marijuana in the passenger seat where Scholes was sitting. A further search of her purse revealed a crack pipe, police said.

So, not so routine after all.

As she was being taken to jail, Scholes was asked three times, police said, whether she had additional drugs in her possession, which she denied.

Define “possession.”

But as Scholes passed through an X-ray machine during booking, possible contraband was detected concealed within her vagina, according to the arrest report.

Yikes. Time to draw straws for the actual search.

A follow-up search by a female deputy uncovered two crack pipes, one containing about 0.01 grams of crack cocaine. Police later said the pipes were found in the general area of Scholes’ groin.

In addition to the earlier misdemeanor charges of possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, Scholes then was charged with felony counts of cocaine possession and smuggling contraband into the jail.

Click here for the source, including a mug shot.

Squeezed on:

candy.jpg

Why are you trying to rain on my parade? The expression “rain on my [your] parade” is very common and used often, though obviously more so by geezers like The Juice than by the youngsters. Well, for years, Rapid City, South Dakota has had a law that takes a huge bite out of the fun of parades. Here’s the law:

12.20.100 Throwing items from vehicles prohibited.

No person participating in a parade or event shall throw or scatter candy, balloons, pamphlets or any other items from any vehicle, float or other unit onto the street or sidewalk. The items may be distributed by walking persons.

Say what? But before you go starting a Change.org petition, please note that happy days are right around the corner! Come Monday, this downer is going to be dead and buried.