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We’ve all heard a story about someone mistakenly thinking somebody is pregnant. The Juice will wager you haven’t heard of anything remotely similar to this. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A woman told police a dispute began after Jessie Mae Dorsey told her she was pregnant but she said she was “just getting fat.”

Awkward. But okay? Nope, not okay. Here’s how it went down:

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The Juice was going to give the perp the benefit of the doubt on this – like maybe he didn’t know it was a cop’s car – but then he read the rest of the article. Poof! went the benefit of the doubt. As reported by tcpalm.com:

Sheriff’s deputies are looking for a suspect in a burglary to an off-duty deputy’s personal vehicle, according to a news release.

So, you’re thinking, maybe he didn’t know it was a cop’s car. Well …

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Apparently it still is the wild west in some parts of Texas. This goes way beyond standing your ground or protecting your home. As reported by khou.com:

It happened in the 14400 block of Cypress Meadows Drive [in Harris County, Texas]. Investigators said the man was home when three robbers kicked their way into his home. The homeowner grabbed his gun.

These folks picked the wrong door to kick in. Hell, they picked the wrong state.

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Different strokes, right? But you have just have to wonder how someone could think that  this (1) is okay morally (2) looks cool, and (3) will not send you straight to hell. As reported at vegfriends.com:

Yummypets revolts against this new fashion jewelry in China: live animals in a plastic sealed bag containing a liquid with nutrient and oxygen that allows them to live up to 2 months.

Yummypets has signed the petition and encourage you to do the same so that the UN requires the Chinese government to ban the manufacture and sale of amulets and jewelry containing live animals.

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It stinks when your car breaks down. It really stinks when you borrow someone else’s car, and it breaks down. It really, really stinks when you steal someone else’s car, and it breaks down, and … Per the Colorado Springs Police Department:

Shortly after completing an unrelated call for service, officers pulled up behind a stalled vehicle on Nevada Avenue, just south of Arvada Street, to provide assistance to the motorist.

Protect and serve, right? Just trying to serve …

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One might think the f-bomb has the power of an a-bomb, the way folks deal with it. Take the recent case of a judge in New York who was not pleased with the shirt an alternate juror was wearing. Per the New York Post:

The shirt in question, worn by 19-year-old alternate No. 3, Nneka Eneorj, as she sat in the front row of the jury box, caught the judge’s eye just as the defendant was about to take the stand. “WHO THE F[UCK] IS KANYE WEST?” the shirt read, the offending obscenity resting just above the wood veneer rail of the jury box.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Thomas Farber ordered the other jurors out of the courtroom — directing Eneorj to stand before his bench.

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If something bad happens to a candidate, some voters will feel sympathy for him/her, and will vote accordingly. Nevertheless, it’s crass to play the play the sympathy card even in the event of something serious. But this? Not cool. As reported at HighlineTimes.com (Burien, WA):

Campaign signs for Des Moines Municipal Court Judge Veronica Galvan were vandalized twice over the weekend. The signs, placed along Des Moines Memorial Drive, were cut off their stakes with a blade or sharp implement. Galvanʼs signs were initially vandalized sometime Friday evening. The culprit cut one side off each sign, so only half of each sign was left on the stake. A campaign volunteer replaced the damaged signs on Saturday. Then, on Saturday night, the signs were hit again. This time, both sides of the signs were cut off, leaving only the stakes.

Yeah, this is probably the only case of political signs being vandalized.  But what you clearly fail to understand is that this was not any old vandalism. Take it away judge.

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Every trip is better when the seat next to you is open, whether you’re on a plane, a bus, or, as in this case, a train. Why was this gent a bad draw as a seatmate? Well, as reported atbrevardtimes.com:

 A 33-year-old Florida man was charged Tuesday with lewd or lascivious exhibition for masturbating in plain view on a passenger train. The defendant, Daniel Michael of Marathon, FL, is accused of exposing himself in front of a young child during the incident.

Yikes.

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It probably went something like this: “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll call my friend the Judge. You’ll be out in no time.” Or not, though the call was made to the Honorable James (“Jim”) Patrick Sharp, Jr., Justice on the First Court of Appeals in Houston, Harris County, Texas. Here’s what happened, from the State Commission on Judicial Conduct’s Findings of Fact:

On January 17, 2012, at approximately 8:00 p.m., Justice Sharp received a telephone call from a family friend informing him that her 15-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting at a department store in Brazoria County.

The friend informed Justice Sharp that her daughter had been taken to the Brazoria County Juvenile Detention Center (hereinafter “Juvenile Detention”). She further informed Justice Sharp that Juvenile Detention staff had advised her that pursuant to standard policy, her daughter would not be released until the following morning.

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fast food grease cooking

The Juice assumed, as many of you probably did too, that working at a fast food restaurant would turn you off to the food. Kind of like, I don’t know what happens in the kitchen, and I don’t want to know. Well, this worker gives the lie to that notion, as reported by beenews.com (Western New York):

A manager at McDonald’s reported that one of the restaurant’s employees walked out with a package of Canadian bacon, two packages of hot fudge syrup, a package of ranch sauce, seven happy meal toys, six cooked grilled chicken patties and two pounds of cooked bacon.

Woo! The Juice’s stomach is percolating just thinking about downing that haul.