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As crimes go, this could have been a lot worse. In fact, it’s $5 away from not being a crime at all.  As reported by The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

When the pastor of Highline United Methodist Church arrived to their location in north Burien on February 25th, she called 911 and let police know that she believed someone had broken into the church. She told police that she saw someone and heard footsteps though no one, other than herself, was scheduled to be there for work at the time. When she called out to whomever might be in the building, she heard them flee the building. Police arrived at the church a short time later and found that the only thing that was taken from the church was an estimated $5 worth of chocolate from the kitchen. Police found no damage to the building and nothing else missing.

Whew!

 

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highway
Driving on the interstate can get pretty boring. Not this day. As reported by fosters.com:

A Massachusetts woman was arrested Friday evening after she allegedly “mooned” several drivers on Interstate 93.

Bow police Sgt. William Graham was driving a marked police cruiser northbound on the interstate at approximately 7:35 p.m., when he reported that his attention was drawn to a female passenger in the car in front of him.

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police station
When a drug deal goes south, doesn’t everyone head to the police station? Well, that depends. In this case, it sure looks like the right call. Per the website of The City of Tampa, Florida:

Milton Coley and Louis Xavier Ruiz-Machado arranged to meet at 109th Avenue and Lantana Avenue to conduct a drug deal around 12:40pm on 1/11/13. Coley walked up to Ruiz-Machado who was driving a 2003 Dodge Ram pick-up truck. Ruiz-Machado handed over the marijuana, but Coley refused to pay. Ruiz-Machado fired a shot and Coley fled on foot. He then called a friend to pick him up. As Coley got into his friend’s Nissan Altima in the 2200 block of Bougainvillea Avenue, Ruiz-Machado began chasing them in his pick-up truck. The friend feared for his safety and drove to the Tampa Police Department’s District 2 Office for help.

The pick-up truck chased them twice through the parking lot at a high rate of speed. Ruiz-Machado fired at least one shot and then fled as officers exited the district office with guns drawn. A short time later, officers boxed in Ruiz-Machado on the University of South Florida campus at Bull Run Drive and Elm Drive. USF Police, Florida Highway Patrol and the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office helped detain the suspect. They recovered a 9 mm inside the vehicle. At District 2, witnesses saw Coley throw two large baggies with 59 grams of marijuana into the parking lot. He was charged with possession of marijuana. His friend who was driving did not face charges. Officers recovered one 9 mm shell casing in the parking lot.

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trash cans
Trust me, your trash isn’t that interesting. As reported by The Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Seattle’s privacy is in the trash, according to eight people suing the city over its composting ordinance.

A lawsuit filed today in King County Superior Court argues that Seattle’s composting ordinance violates constitutional privacy by allowing garbage collectors to sift through peoples’ trash without a warrant.

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duel
The most important rule regarding any form of communication is thus: “Would I mind if this was out there for the whole world to see?” Well, in retrospect, I think this fellow would mind. As reported by patch.com:

A Crystal Lake lawyer mocked the size of a client’s penis and challenged him to a duel, according to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

Attorney Donald Franz called client Mike Rutkowski a “small penis a——e” and “insulted Rutkowsky’s manhood and choice of automobiles,” the complaint said.

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Two Girls hiding behind Straw Bale in Field
You rob a bank and you get away. Of course you wouldn’t go to any of your known haunts, or … would you? As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Within hours of publicizing photos from bank surveillance after a TD Bank robbery, more than a dozen tipsters recognized a 30-year-old Lakehurst man and contacted the police.

So they id’d him, but where was he? Funny you should ask …

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Maybe this guy’s intentions were good, or maybe he saw what he thought was an opportunity to shoot his gun. Regardless, he is now officially in the soup.  As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

It happened in the parking lot of the Kmart on Outer Loop, near New Cut Road, just before 8 p.m. Thursday.

According to an arrest report, police were called to the area after someone reported a shooting. When they arrived, they met with 24-year-old Robert J. Jones, the man police say fired the gun.

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emergency phone 911
People do the darndest things when they’re plastered. Example number 12,434, 523 comes to you from The Northwest Florida Daily News:

The call [from 55-year-old Fort Walton Beach man] came in to Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office E911 system at 12:19 a.m. on June 24, according to the arrest report. He said “Send coroner, I just killed myself.”

Fort Walton Beach Police officers were dispatched to his home, because it was in the city, the report said. They found that he didn’t not have an emergency and “was only highly intoxicated.”

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Getting pocket dialed is annoying, though we all get tagged occasionally, even the police. In this particular instance, The Juice is guessing they weren’t the least bit annoyed.

Police responded to a 911 call in the 600 block of S.W. 122nd street. The caller was on a cell phone and accidentally dialed 911. When no one responded on the line, the dispatcher became concerned. They were able to trace the call and locate the cell phone in an abandoned house. Officers arrived and found three subjects had broken in to a rear door of the home and were inside illegally.

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