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For real. Apparently it wasn’t the first time Michael Rainey’s cat mistook neighbor Joseph Loflin’s yard for a litter box. As reported by Click2Houston.com:

“‘Your cat has been back there defecating in my back yard,'” [former police officer] Loflin said he told his neighbor. “I used the slang word, the four-letter word to describe what the cat was doing.”

The “slang word?”

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no littering sign don't litter litterbug bug
Have you EVER heard of anyone getting a ticket for littering? They should, but it just never seems to happen, much to The Juice’s chagrin.  Well, a litterbug in New York got busted, sort of. As reported by brooklynpaper.com:

The litterbug told police that he tossed some trash in the parking lot of a fast-food chain between Kingsland and Morgan avenues at 12:50 pm. A moment later, two men came up to him and showed him shields.

Officer, arrest that man! He just admitted to littering! No?

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first class seat

If you have ever been lucky enough to fly first class, maybe you’ll have some understanding of what this man did… As reported by The Highline Times (Washington State):

A man sits in King County jail after he allegedly bolted through a security checkpoint at Sea-Tac Airport and onto an empty plane. The suspect did not have a plane ticket when he ran through the TSA passenger screening area. The man reportedly made it to Gate D10 and is accused of going through emergency exit doors and onto an airport ramp. He then climbed the stairs to the jetway, broke safety glass on a security door, made it on to an empty American Airlines plane and belted himself in a first class seat. Officers entered the plane and were able to take the suspect into custody after a short struggle. The man, in his late 20ʼs, was likely under the influence of drugs. A judge set bail at $100,000.

First, what the hell kind of security is that? A guy who is completely wasted makes it through the TSA screening, gets all the way to Gate D10 (you know that’s not close), and then makes it onto a plane? And $100,000 bail seems a little excessive. He hardly sounds like a flight risk (get it?).

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It’s not too hard to figure out who the owner of this vehicle roots for. It’s a little harder to figure out why someone who came across this plate decided to take it to another level. As reported in The Washington Post:

The above license plate was tweeted to Dan yesterday by an eagle-eyed reader who took exception to its meaning. While there are many possible explanations for what the “F” stands for, the Cowboys sticker on the car indicates that the real answer is one I can’t write here.

The person who tweeted the photo also copied the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles’ Twitter feed. The DMV is on top of its social media, and has vowed to look into it.

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female police officer
And this thief thought she had the perfect hiding place. Well, as it turned out, not so much. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky)

Demonica Allen was arrested after police say she stole money while working at a stand during a University of Louisville game.

Police uncovered $166 from Allen after she was arrested.

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dui check point checkpoint dwi

If you’ve had a few, and you’re approaching a DUI check point, what would you do? The Juice can say with at least 99% certainty that you would not do what this man did. As reported by BeeNews.com (Western New York):

A vehicle entered a road check being conducted by the Buffalo Strike Force Detail on Lisbon Street. A Trooper observed that the operator was drinking a beer and that the vehicle had bald tires. The operator failed field sobriety tests and was placed under arrest for Driving While Intoxicated.

The dude was drinking a beer at a DUI check point! Shocking that he failed the field sobriety test …

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crime
A Mississippi state legislator wasted little time in between talking about the crime problem in Jackson to becoming part of it. As reported by wapt.com:

Hours after state Sen. John Horhn hosted a meeting addressing crime problems in Jackson, he was arrested on a DUI charge, police confirmed.

Horhn had called a meeting at the State Capitol earlier in the evening and heard from Jackson residents about crime.

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Let’s just say this lady does not take criticism well, especially when she’s behind the wheel. What did she do when her husband took exception to her driving? As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):

A Sioux Falls woman tried to run down her husband with a Chrysler New Yorker Thursday night for questioning her driving skills, police say.

Shazam! You might be wondering about the logistics of running someone down for “backseat” driving. The Juice will explain.

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i dare you
What, you think just because it’s Niceville that they won’t call the cops? As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Niceville Police officers were summoned to Tisa’s Lounge on John Sims Parkway, where an employee said he’d told a 25-year-old Ohio man to leave several times. The man refused and was still in the lounge when officers arrived.

They told him to leave but the man refused, saying “I wouldn’t have to leave in Ohio.” Officers pointed out Florida law differs from Ohio law, but he still refused to leave, saying, “I don’t believe you.”

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car key
Please, please, please just tell The Juice you did not fall for the oldest trick in the book – the “key swap.” Okay, so The Juice had never heard of the “key swap” either. As reported by tcpalm.com:

It sounds like a Hollywood heist. Thieves stole a $55,000 vehicle from the Arrigo Dodge dealership Wednesday afternoon without breaking a sweat or a window.

Maybe Hollywood, Florida, but pretty smooth nonetheless.