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You would think the world ended. So some police officers dropped the f-bomb for emphasis. Is this really a big story? Clearly The Juice doesn’t think so. As reported by newschannel9.com (Chattanooga, Tennessee):

It’s a caught-on-tape moment you have to hear to believe. Two Dalton Police Officers hurling the f-bomb and other four-letter words at children on a school bus. Now those cops are in a heap of trouble with not only parents – but the city as well.

Dalton Police Chief Jason Parker says they usually keep things like these under wraps. But this time, he says he felt the community needed to know what happened. Many we spoke with say an officer should never use offensive language to make a point, even if the children themselves are using four-letter words.

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It’s not uncommon for arrestees to give the police someone else’s name. It is uncommon for someone to try to pin a rap on his brother.  As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, NY):

A Hannawa Falls man was jailed for felony driving while intoxicated and forgery following a traffic stop Nov. 30 on State Highway 56 in which he claimed to be his brother, Jason Capone, according to St. Lawrence County sheriff’s deputies.

Aaron Capone, 36, was charged with aggravated DWI, aggravated unlicensed operation, second-degree forgery, first-degree offering a false instrument, and second-degree criminal impersonation, officers said.

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

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Burglary is one thing, but punching an elderly woman in the process? Not cool, and in this case, not effective either. Turns out granny can take care of herself, and then some. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Joan Parmenter, 79, discovered Luke Clay with his brother, Lee Clay, in her front room at 11pm on Friday, February 18.

Luke hit her right temple and she responded with an “almighty punch” to his jaw. He landed face down on her couch amongst her collection of toy animals from her travels around the world, she said.

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If you’re this lady, you plunder her home! And then do it again! The plunderer’s timing wasn’t the best, as reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

At first, on Wednesday, she helped herself to some craft supplies. And a knife. A purse. One hundred CDs. The window curtains.

Shellie Leonard wanted more, authorities said, and on Thursday she went back to her neighbor’s house on Dalwood Drive with plans to steal a computer and electronics. Her neighbor was incarcerated at the Pasco County jail.

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If you went to law school, you probably read the title of the post and thought, hmm, that sounds like a question on a law school exam. If you’re a normal person, you probably thought “finders, keepers.” So, who gets the money? As reported by azcentral.com:

An Arizona court says a man’s heirs are entitled to $500,000 cash that was found in the walls of his former home years after he died.

The Court of Appeals ruling Thursday upholds a judge’s decision that the money, stashed in ammunition cans inside the walls, belongs to Robert Spann’s estate.

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Now this is one dad you would think would espouse the idea of letting a kid fight his own battles.  If he does subscribe to that, he’s flexible, based on how his kid is doing! As reported by wkmb (Orlando, Florida):

New video released shows a father encouraging his son to fight another teen, then joining in on the fight when his son starts to lose, police said.

The video was obtained by Satellite Beach police after it was shot by teens who witnessed the Nov. 22 fight of SR-A1A.

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“Um, excuse me. Could you please keep it down?” Fuhgeddaboutit. Ain’t nobody quieting this lady down. As reported by The Star-Ledger at nj.com:

A 47-year-old Hackettstown woman went on a rampage and was arrested when police arrived at her house to check into a noise complaint last week, authorities said.

Gail Tortorella was drunk when police showed up to her home on Ashley Avenue at about 6:45 p.m. Thursday, Hackettstown police said in a release. Instead of calming down, police said she became belligerent.

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Unless there is something the reporter is holding back (or didn’t bother to find out), this lawyer did one helluva job for his client. What did he do? Read this, as reported by www.reviewonline (East Liverpool, Ohio):

Jason Cope, 38, Silliman Street, pleaded guilty to OVI second offense, attempting to use deception to obtain dangerous drugs and falsification. Additionally he stipulated to a probation violation charge.

Do you know how much jail time he got for these four offenses? Zippy. Squadoosh. Nada. He had already been …

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Hey, younger drivers are going to make mistakes, especially after they’ve had something to drink. Here’s the latest installment of “Yikes” as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

A Burlington teen faces careless driving charges after crashing into a home. Halton police say ‘miraculously’ no one was injured when the 19-year-old left the roadway at 10 p.m. Wednesday night.

You’ve got to see the pictures. (Click here.)