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Truth be told, The Juice isn’t a Kohl’s guy either. But some people get really excited about shopping there …

A man from Oconomowoc, accused of fondling himself in a department store, was charged Monday with one count of Lewd and Lascivious Behavior.

According to the criminal complaint, Daniel Wagner, 38, was seen masturbating in a Kohl’s Department store on St. Paul Ave. in April.

Wagner was also charged with Disorderly Conduct. If convicted, he faces up to a year in prison.

(The above is from a report by Wisconsin station TMJ4 at todaystmj4.com.)

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You have to understand that when a major crisis looms, the government must act. What was the major crisis requiring the intervention of the Venezuelan government? You won’t believe it. As reported by the BBC:

The Venezuelan government has taken over a toilet paper factory to avoid any scarcity of the product. The National Guard has taken control of the plant, and officers will monitor production and distribution.

Toilet paper! Yes, toilet paper! Don’t worry, though. The President (yes, that’s right the President!) is on the case.

Last week President Nicolas Maduro created a special committee to tackle the problem, which the government blames on unscrupulous traders.

The government ordered the temporary occupation of the Manpa plant in the northern state of Aragua, state-run Radio AVN reported.

In a tweet on Thursday, Venezuela’s Vice President, Jorge Arreaza, said authorities would “not permit hoarding of essential commodities, or any faults in the production and distribution process.”

No way is there a law covering the occupation of a toilet paper factory … or, is there?

The Minister of Trade, Alexander Fleming, said the factory occupation complied with Venezuelan law.

Here’s the source.

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The name police, in addition to residing in Sweden, also reside in Australia. Today’s installment involves a couple who wanted to name their child “Ned Kelly.” If you’re wondering why that name would be a problem, click here for more information on this notorious Australian. Per The Daily Telegraph:

The [New South Wales] Registry [of Births, Deaths and Marriages] can reject a name for a number of reasons under the Registration Act 1995. Reasons include that the name might be obscene or offensive, is too long or includes “symbols without phonetic significance.”

And if the Registry thinks a name is a problem but it doesn’t fit in any of the offending categories, check out this catch-all provision:

The Act also bans … names “contrary to the public interest for some other reason.”

That seems to cover EVERYTHING! Here are a few other names that shared Ned Kelly’s fate:

– Post Master General

– Chief Maximus

– Jesus Christ

– a blank space

– the child’s Medicare number

– the number seven

Check out these names that made the grade:

– God Bless

– Metallica

– Fully Hektik Sik

Here’s the source.

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You’ll never guess what these thieves stole from a car they tossed. As reported in the
Fremont Police Department Blotter:

During the night unknown suspects burglarized a vehicle that was parked on the front lawn of a residence on Third Street in Niles. The vehicle was ransacked, but the only item taken was a bag of elephant dung that the vehicle owner had received as a gag gift. Appears they may have thought it was a bag of marijuana. We assume they must have been pretty shocked by the surprise!

Oops.

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You did not but this person for drinking tea suspiciously. You did? Think the court will approve? As reported by The Times of India:

Bewildered by the explanation that a man was arrested because he was drinking tea in a “suspicious manner” at a road side stall near Shivaji University in Kolhapur, the Bombay high court directed the police to back off and set aside the preventive detention proceedings against him.

So what happened?

Vijay Patil, a 49-year-old restaurant owner from Kolhapur had moved the HC to challenge his detention and sought damages.

His lawyer Satyavrat Joshi said the police had no real reason to pluck him off the street at 11am on February 22 while he was merely sipping tea. The HC said it agreed.

Said the high court:

The judgment penned by Justice Patel said, “This is bewildering. We were unaware that the law required anyone to give an explanation for having tea, whether in the morning, noon or night. One might take tea in a variety of ways, not all of them always elegant or delicate, some of them perhaps even noisy. But we know of no way to drink tea ‘suspiciously’.”

He added, “The ingestion of a cup that cheers demands no explanation. And while cutting chai is permissible, now even fashionable, cutting corners with the law is not.”

Bam! The court went on to slam the police for misusing a law that was meant to be “preventive, not punitive.” You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Over the years, The Juice has often seen and occasionally blogged about criminals returning to the scene of the crime to hit the joint again. But not this gent. You’ll never guess why he returned to the crime scene on the same day! Per nj.com:

On Aug. 29, Harold Williams took $321 worth of shampoo and razors from the sales floor of the Route 22 West ShopRite and left without paying, according to an arrest report from the Watchung Police Department.

So that’s visit #1. And the return visit?

Later that day, at about 6 p.m., Williams apparently returned to the store, filled out a job application form and was arrested after ShopRite Manager Paul Lesperance recognized him from earlier in the day, police said.

Think the job was in Loss Control?

Williams was arrested and taken to police headquarters for processing, and was transported to Somerset County Jail because he was unable to post $500 cash bail, police said.

Here’s the source.

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Regular Juice readers will recognize this method of attempting to get rid of the evidence. As reported by WDRB (Louisville, Kentucky):

Police say 21-year-old Casey Mancuso was a passenger in a car that was stopped Monday night by officers for ignoring a stop sign at the corner of 25th and Oak Street.

According to the arrest report, when officers approached the car they could smell the strong odor of marijuana. Police say officers were given permission to search the car, and that’s when they found a baggie with marijuana seeds in the back seat where Mancuso was sitting.

Just seeds? Hmm.

Police records say officers searched Mancuso and noticed him chewing something. When officers asked him to open his mouth they noticed marijuana on his teeth and in his mouth.

Police say Mancuso admitted to officers he ate the marijuana before the traffic stop.

The charges?

Mancuso … faces charges of possession of marijuana and tampering with physical evidence.

Click here for the source.

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Some people drink. Some people smoke weed. Many folks do both. And then there are those folks who ingest man-made substances of uncertain origins, be it ecstasy, LSD, bath salts or whatever. This The Juice has never understood, because [per The Belleville News-Democrat] something like this can happen to you:

A man has been convicted of using a medieval-looking replica weapon with spikes on it to attack an officer and a woman.

Scott M. Davis Jr., 23, was naked during the April 2012 disturbance. On Saturday, a St. Charles County Circuit Court jury recommended a sentence of 10 years for first-degree assault, five years for armed criminal action and 15 years for assaulting a law enforcement officer.

A witness reported that Davis and two others had been using LSD before police were summoned. Davis also was accused of biting and hitting the officer with a Taser handle.

The officer shot Davis in the leg and arm.

You take an unknown substance, you get an unknown outcome. Here’s the source.

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Sure sounds like a good idea – getting together with your brother-in-law to watch the big fight. From the idea stage to the actual event, things went downhill, as you’ll see from this entry in The Colorado Springs Police Department Blotter:

Incident Date: September 15, 2013

Time:1:25:00 AM

Division: Stetson Hills — Shift I

Title: Assault

Location:7865 Chancellor Drive

Officers were dispatched to the above address re. a disturbance. Upon arrival officers learned that after watching a championship boxing match on TV, two intoxicated males engaged in an arguement and one intentionally stabbed his brother-inlaw in his ear with knife. The victim was transported to a local hospital with serious bodily injury but expected to survive.

Ouch!