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Couples fight. Couples make up. In between, sometimes things are done or said. But this? Gents, if you insist on continuing to read this, be forewarned, it will hurt. As reported by The Jersey Journal (at nj.com):

A Jersey City man who went to sleep after an argument with his girlfriend was awakened late Thursday night when she bit his scrotum, tearing right through the skin, authorities said.

Yeowwwwwww!!!!!

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airplane bathroom
Planes make emergency landings for a variety of reasons. Here’s a new one to add to the list, as reported by The Moscow Times:

A criminal case on charges of hooliganism has been opened against the former deputy governor of the Chelyabinsk region on charges of hooliganism for beginning a fistfight with a flight attendant.

A Moscow-bound plane had to make an emergency landing in Novosibirsk on Sunday after Andrei Tretyakov, allegedly drunk, beat up a flight attendant in a dispute over the toilet, a police spokesman said.

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white castle
Clearly he didn’t go about it the right way, and not to disparage White Castle, but having had their burgers, The Juice can testify that they would definitely go down better with beer, or any other alcoholic beverage. As reported by riverfronttimes.com (St. Louis, Missouri):

A White Castle customer was so upset he couldn’t wash his sliders down with an ice cold beer that he stabbed another customer in the head, police say.

The knife-wielding craver was trying to BYOB around 3:50 a.m. Tuesday at the downtown White Castle on South Broadway near Busch Stadium when an employee asked him to leave. A 57-year-old customer came to the employee’s defense, and the suspect stabbed him once in the head.

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The Juice really, really dislikes liars. Everyone screws up. When you do, just own up to it, and accept the consequences. A drunk-driving English lawyer took a different approach. As reported by The Independent:

Francis Bridgeman, 43, attempted to create an elaborate web of lies to cover up the drink-driving offence … Bridgeman’s Land Rover Sport was found locked and in a ditch in Shovers Green, Ticehurst, East Sussex, at about 1am on April 7, 2010, having crashed into a telegraph pole, police said.

Officers traced the Land Rover to Bridgeman’s home in Wards Lane, Wadhurst, but the lawyer claimed armed men had kidnapped him in the car park of Wadhurst railway station, before driving him off at knifepoint with a bag over his head in another vehicle and then dumping him in Cousley Wood

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shopping shop shoppers
Although most folks go to the store to shop, this gent had something else in mind. He apparently also isn’t aware of this “new” tool stores use called “security videos.” As reported by clickorlando.com (wkmg):

From the start of the security video, it is obvious the man on the video does not want to get caught doing something very wrong. He is seen looking around, lowering his hand and then hiding behind a rack of clothes.

A woman walks past, unaware of what he was doing. Then, he steps into view of the camera, and it becomes obvious what was going on.

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So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily.
 According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters.
 He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.

Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …

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tacos
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant with a sword (this is not the beginning of a joke). Seriously, a guy walked into a Mexican restaurant in San Antonio with a sword, as reported by The Houston Chronicle (chron.com).

[Adam] Kramer [age 28] ordered six tacos at Alondras De Jalisco on South Loop 1604 at about 2:30 p.m. on Dec. 2, according to documents released Friday. When the waitress told Kramer how much he owed, he responded that he was going to take them for free, officials said.

When the waitress told Kramer that he had to pay for his food, he allegedly started sliding what is described as a large sword in and out of a black sheath on his waist, the affidavit says.

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This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman’s office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim’s support during the trial.

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you've been a very bad boy
It seems that, oftentimes, a spouse who has been cheated on is angry at the other woman/man, and not the cheating spouse. What’s up with that? We may have stumbled on another such case, although the jilted spouse in this case may have let her husband have it too. As reported by khou.com:

One doctor is now facing criminal charges after police say she broke into the home of her romantic rival last weekend.

Uh-oh.