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The Juice has blogged about people stealing entire ATMs before. But this? As reported by thebrooklynpaper.com:

A lowlife swiped thousands in cash from a Third Avenue money machine on Dec. 27 — then doused the dollar dispenser in chlorine, cops reported.

Security cameras caught the villain breaking open the automatic teller between 79th and 80th streets at 3 am and taking $8,000 from inside — before pouring bleach all over the machine, cops said.

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You’re really going to make a federal case over a can of beans? Well, yes. Because that was no ordinary can of beans, as reported by The Hartford Courant.

Police on Saturday arrested a Fair Haven man who they say received a kilogram of cocaine through the mail that had been hidden inside cans of beans.

So maybe it was a few cans of beans.

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beer
You may like shopping at Walmart. You may like working there, or you may have no choice but to work there. But if you think they give a damn about their employees, spend 30 minutes on the internet and you’ll learn otherwise.  The Juice can understand an employee doing something unwise to try to protect his benevolent boss’s business. This clearly doesn’t fit in that category. As reported by wftv.com:

A Walmart manager had an unexpected ride down a Florida Interstate in the back of a truck after he tried to stop a man and woman he suspected of shoplifting beer late Monday afternoon.

First mistake: chasing someone down for beer! What if they turned around and shot him? It’s just beer!

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Who knew that your undergarments are infused with your scent? Pretty much everyone, except for this woman, who tried to outsmart a police dog by stripping down to her bra and panties before fleeing. As reported by tcpalm.com:

A 25-year-old woman found in her bra and panties after a traffic crash told an officer she stripped off her clothes to try to “conceal her scent” from a police dog.

But Angela C. Ferranti’s disrobing plan last week apparently didn’t work as Kilo, a police dog, tracked into a wooded area in central Port St. Lucie where she was found, according to a recently released report.

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It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)

According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone — worth $649 — from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.

But it didn’t quite work out as he planned.

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So you didn’t hear about the sale at Macy’s where, for a very limited time, everything was $5? Well, there is a catch. There’s always a catch. As reported by wpbf.com:

Vasthi Marseille and Marline Santelus were arrested Thursday on charges of grand theft and organized scheme to defraud.

Wait. You’re arresting them for buying things on sale?

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Although countless acres of pot are growing throughout the world, it is unlikely many of them are in the garden of a convent. There is (or was) one such acre in the garden of a convent in Uganda, as reported by the BBC:

A regional police chief told the BBC that plants covering one acre had been found and uprooted in the southern Masaka district. Two nuns and two porters have been questioned.

One of the nuns has been quoted by local media as saying the marijuana was used to treat farm animals, such as pigs.

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Why shouldn’t you mess with the the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection? Here’s why: They “fined a Marshall Township man more than $100,000 for destroying two acres of wetlands to build a recreational pond.” As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The DEP announced Wednesday that Francois Bitz, 52, of 1640 Pleasant Hill Road has agreed to pay a $137,800 fine as part of a consent order for violating the state’s Clean Streams Law and the Dam Safety and Encroachments Act.

Bitz also will pay recovery costs and oversight fees to the DEP and the Allegheny County Conservation District, the state agency release said.

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zzzz sleeping
It can’t be said with certainty what this woman was up to, but it’s gotta be “probably plus.” As reported by brooklynpaper.com, from the 76th Precinct (Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook):

Cops cuffed a woman who they say was sleeping in an apartment building stairway with a knife, pills, and some tools on her person on Bond Street on Dec. 3. Officers stated they found the 47-year-old woman passed out on the staircase in the complex near and Hoyt Street at 5:25 am.

When she awoke, they noticed that she had a knife on her belt and a few loose pills out in the open, cops said. Further inspection revealed a pry bar and wire cutters, according to a police report.

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It was an easy day at the office for the police officers assigned to this caper. As reported by The Daily Mail:

It was an early festive gift for John Dacre who had called in ‘special branch’ after the [Christmas] trees and dozens of holly wreaths and festive decorations went missing from his nursery in Spenborough, West Yorkshire.

The thieves had even stolen two of his trollies to cart off their loot.