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He did! Listen to the 911 call [above]. So what happened after the call? As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Dispatchers traced the call to 192 Waterville Road, the home of Robert J. Michelson.

He told narcotics officers who visited his home that he had spent a lot of money online buying everything he needed to grow marijuana. He had one small plant at home, along with seeds and equipment for growing, police said.

Michelson also had drug paraphernalia for personal use.

If this was an attempted candor pander, it failed.

He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, illegal cultivation of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia in a drug factory.

Michelson was brought to Farmington police headquarters where he was released on $5,000 bond. Police said he was cooperative with officers, but made an obscene gesture at the dispatchers.

Yeah, it was all the dispatcher’s fault. Here’s the source.

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Putting aside the question of why a jail employee would ever eat anything prepared by an inmate, this is pretty gross. As reported by The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Anthony Gentile, 41, an inmate at the Manatee County Jail, was assigned to work at the facility’s kitchen prep room last Wednesday to help make salads, according to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

While preparing salads gentile Gentile took as spoon he had been using and stuck it down his pants and rubbed his gentilia with the utensil before taking the spoon and placing it back into the salad, according to the report.

Sure, that’s gross, but …

The inmate then allegedly placed his junk into the bowl of salad.

To wrap up his prep …

Gentile then reportedly spat into the salad.

Perfection! It is ready to be served.

After fouling the greens, Gentile then handed the salad to a employee of the jail and asked him to taste the salad to “make sure it was alright,” the affidavit stated.

The employee tasted the salad not knowing what had been done to it and commented to his jail buds that “The (female dog) is out there eating it, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

The charges?

Gentile is now charged with Battery of a Facility Employee by Expelling Fluids

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Whether you believe you make your own luck or not, you can’t argue that this kid did anything to make his luck. It just found him. As reported in Straubinger Tagblatt, via UPI:

A German man didn’t feel like giving his ex-wife her alimony money, so he gave it to a schoolboy standing outside a bank, police said.

The man, 49, of the Bavarian town of Straubing, gave away about $245 because he has arguments with his ex-wife over alimony, The Local of Berlin reported.

The boy said he was standing outside the bank with a friend when the man walked up to him, handed him the bundle of money, said, “You can keep that money,” and wandered off.

You already know he went to the police with it. No way he would get to keep it, right? Wrong!

The boy said he then went to the police because he assumed the money was counterfeit. Police said Saturday there was no evidence of any crime, “so the pupil is $245 better off for now.”

Bam!

The man said he would prefer to give the money to strangers than let his ex-wife have it, the Straubinger Tagblatt reported.

A little bitter?

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THEY TRIED TO ROB A GUN STORE – WITH AN OPENLY-ARMED EMPLOYEE. Who does that? And the kicker? These gents lost $40 in the process. As reported The Kansas City Star:

It all started about 2 p.m. when one of the robbers came into Guns Unlimited, 8113 N. Oak Trafficway, and asked for a box of .357 Magnum ammunition. The clerk told him it would cost about $50. The man, who looked to be in his 20s, said he needed to get more money and left.

Note that the clerk told him the cost would be “about $50.” So what does the dude do? He comes back with $40!

Just before 5 p.m., he returned with a partner and said he wanted to buy the ammunition. The clerk looked at his identification to check his age, rang up the sale and told the man he owed $50.19. The man slid two $20 bills onto the counter.

“You’re $10.19 short,” the clerk said.

The man pulled a blue .357 revolver with a 4-inch barrel from his waistband, pointed it at the clerk and said, “Give me your money!”

If you’re wondering how this ends with the robbers out $40 ….

[The clerk] zeroed in on the robber’s cylinder and saw it was empty as he reached for his own gun and pulled it from its holster.

Advantage, clerk.

“His eyes got as big as two dinner plates,” the clerk said. “Before I got mine pointed at him, he ran to the door at, like, 95 mph. I’m surprised he didn’t bust the glass out of the door.”

The clerk, who had started to squeeze his trigger, relaxed his finger as the robbers fled, leaving behind the two $20 bills.

And the would-be robbers? “[They] were last seen running south.”

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“Shock” can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun …

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn’t even feel it.

Skeptical? Check out the picture here.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents’ house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn’t know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia’s spine.

Crazy.

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Wait, you mean school buses have cameras too? Doh! (It’s pretty dull until the 38 second mark.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFtBrwlS-A0

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The much maligned and often stepped over penny took another hit in Utah. As reported by The Deseret News (Salt Lake City):

On May 27, Jason West went to Basin Clinic prepared to dispute an outstanding bill, according to Assistant Vernal Police Chief Keith Campbell. West, 38, apparently did not believe he owed the clinic the $25 it said he did.

“After asking if they accepted cash, West dumped 2,500 pennies onto the counter and demanded that they count it,” Campbell said. “The pennies were strewn about the counter and the floor.”

The incident upset clinic staff, said Campbell, adding that West’s behavior served “no legitimate purpose.”

Clinic staff told West they were calling police and he left the office. Officers caught up with West later and issued him a citation for disorderly conduct, an infraction, which carries a potential fine of $140.

Seems like a huge waste of time to The Juice. Here’s the source, which has a link to an interview with Mr. West.

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“Clothes make the man” may be less true now than it used to be. But, unfortunately for this gent, his clothes “made” him, just not in a good way. As reported at noladefender.com:

Memorial T-shirts help families grieve and remember their loved ones when tragedy strikes. But in one recent homicide case, a shirt depicting one man lost to violence also helped police track down a suspect in another case. After recognizing his cousin in a T-shirt caught on video, police arrested 26-year-old Dale Lambert Monday for a Treme murder dating back to March.

If you’re going to commit a crime, it’s generally not a good idea to wear clothing that essentially has your name and address on it.

Lambert was arrested about 9 a.m. Monday in the Columbia Parc neighborhood of the 7th Ward for allegedly killing Bernard Santiago, 30, on March 22 in the 2100 block of Saint Ann St. A second man was also injured after being shot in the ankle during the incident, police said.

Of course, it wouldn’t have mattered if he hadn’t been seen in the shirt…

Police said homicide detective Michael McCleery broke the case after getting video of the incident. Footage shows that the gunman in the incident is wearing a custom-made T-shirt that says “R.I.P,” and depicted a man who was killed in a separate murder. McCleery was able to identify the person being remembered on the shirt as Lambert’s cousin, who was killed several months earlier, police said. McCleery obtained an arrest warrant after conducting further interviews.

Lambert was booked on Second Degree Murder and Aggravated Assault charges. Police said Lambert has previously been arrested on a bevy of charges including Aggravated Assault, Possession of Valium, and a variety of other drug and gun chrages.

You’ll find the source here.

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If you throw something in the trash, and someone then takes it from the trash, is that stealing? OF COURSE NOT! Well, there’s a resident of New York who would disagree. As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):

A Panama Lane resident reported garbage had been stolen from in front of the house for the fourth time in eight months.

After it rains, do you call the cops and say your neighbor is stealing your run-off water? It’s garbage! You don’t want it? Why do you care! Aargh!

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Maybe you’ve left your car in a lot overnight, figuring you would just eat the charge and move on. You won’t believe how long this woman left her car in a parking lot. As reported by local.de:

A woman who left her car in a parking lot for nine years escaped with a fine of €7,000 (about $9,000 US), instead of the nearly €70,000 (about $90,000 US) she would owe if she had been charged the standard €20 ($26 US) per day, it was reported this week.

Nine years? Two questions: Why? and Why? As to the second question:

The car park operator appears to have made a conscious decision to hold out on issuing the fine. “The lady isn’t insolvent. She has a job and money,” managing director of the Bavaria Parkgaragen company Claus Schnell said, by way of an explanation for not taking action sooner.

While Schnell acknowledged that it was unusual for a person not to collect their car, he said “such cases occur from time to time.” His operating company oversees 22 garages with a total of 12,226 parking spots.

Okay, as for the first question – why would she leave her car there for 9 years? – don’t know! Here’s the source.