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police department
If you want to get the police department’s attention, there are other ways. This way, though, will definitely work! As detailed in the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter:

On 01-09-14 at approximately 0756 hours, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the Brunswick Zone, 999 N Circle Drive regarding a robbery. The investigation revealed an unknown male entered the business and verbally threatened the victim to open the cash register. The victim was unable to comply compelling the suspect to leave the area. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid- 30s, approximately 5’7 with a thin build, short blonde hair with a goatee, wearing a large black jacket and jeans. The investigation is continuing.

He got away! Or … did he?

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facebook

Many, many kids ignore it, but they know that when they put something on Facebook, it’s out there.  At least the kids have an excuse: they’re kids! But what about these gents? As reported by TCPalm.com

FWC [Fish and Wildlife Conservation] officers linked Darella and Roberts to the dead alligators by obtaining a search warrant to look at information they posted on Facebook, Johnson said. Officers found several photographs and posts connecting Darella and Roberts to taking alligators, hogs and other wildlife illegally.

Doh! You can read a lot more about this here.

 

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 texting and driving
Anybody with half a brain knows how stupid it is to text and drive. It’s also illegal in many states. Still, people continue to do it alarmingly often. As reported by www.news965.com:

A 23-year-old driver in Fort Myers, Fla., admits he was texting while driving when he was caught on video rolling his car after hitting a power pole and a tree.

Driver Michael Woody climbed out of the car safely following the crash and told responding officers that his only impairment was his cell phone … he was texting while driving, something that is now illegal in Florida.

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swiss cheese
The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

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pizza
Doesn’t everyone like pizza? Well …

A Central Texas man has been accused of stabbing his girlfriend after she brought home pizza instead of a chicken sandwich he wanted for lunch.

McLennan County jail records show Michael Corsey of Waco was being held Saturday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Online jail records do not list bond or an attorney for Corsey, who was arrested Friday.

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bicycle.png
As a regular bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to have to say this, but it’s not looking too good for this fellow cyclist. As reported by The Union Leader:

Police [in Somersworth, New Hampshire] arrested a Maine man riding a bicycle Friday in connection with a bank robbery across state lines.

Noooooo!

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divorce
You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you could, and people would say “no way would that ever happen.” As reported by The Independent:

A British woman attempted to sue her former lawyers for professional negligence, claiming that, alongside a number of other allegations, they failed to advise that finalising divorce proceedings would inevitably cause her marriage to end.

And you call yourselves lawyers!

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step out
People react in many different ways when they suspect their spouse is cheating. Some folks get sad, and some get mad. Here’s mad, via The Gainesville Sun:

Officials said Tara Johnson, 41, of 419 Squire Drive, and her husband have been married for about three years and living together for approximately five years. Johnson told deputies she drove to her husband’s workplace at Cox Communications on Northwest 43rd Street around 6:30 a.m. to question why he had not returned home, an Alachua County Sheriff’s Office report said.

Ms. Johnson thinks she knows why.

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burglar burglary
If you decide to burgle, there are so many options. In deciding where to steal from, wouldn’t you consider retribution from the owner if you are caught, either in the act, or after the fact? Of course you would … unless you are these guys. As reported by the Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Cody L. Procasky, 19 of Fayetteville, and Chase A. Ripley 17, of Freeburg, were each charged with one Class 2 felony count of burglary. Each had their bail set at $30,000.

You know the burglars. So who did they burgle?

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jail break
Of course prison is really, really bad. So what could be worse? Well … as reported by wdrb.com (Loiusville, Kentucky):

An inmate realizes he picked the wrong night to escape from prison.

Officials say 42-year-old Robert Vick turned himself in after escaping from a facility in Lexington on Sunday.