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duel

The most important rule regarding any form of communication is thus: “Would I mind if this was out there for the whole world to see?” Well, in retrospect, I think this fellow would mind. As reported by patch.com:

A Crystal Lake lawyer mocked the size of a client’s penis and challenged him to a duel, according to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

Attorney Donald Franz called client Mike Rutkowski a “small penis a——e” and “insulted Rutkowsky’s manhood and choice of automobiles,” the complaint said.

Franz also allegedly sent an email to Rutkowski that said, “My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner.”

Franz and Rutkowski were in a dispute over $400. Franz had billed that amount for his “efforts to reduce the assessed value of real property (Rutkowski) had recently purchased,” the complaint said.

In his answer to the complaint, Franz admitted to the “general characterization” of the small-penis quip but “denies insulting Rutkowski’s manhood or choice of automobiles.” He also said the duel challenge was taken out of context.

The entire message reads: “Can you please tell me where you would like to be served? Fee agreements are not required in these matters and not between men. My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner. I choose small claims court. See you very soon. Don,” Franz said in his answer.

“In its totality, the email is not a threat of violence or challenge to a duel, it is a threat to sue in small claims court,” he said.

Alrighty then. Here’s the source.

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Two Girls hiding behind Straw Bale in Field

You rob a bank and you get away. Of course you wouldn’t go to any of your known haunts, or … would you? As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Within hours of publicizing photos from bank surveillance after a TD Bank robbery, more than a dozen tipsters recognized a 30-year-old Lakehurst man and contacted the police.

So they id’d him, but where was he? Funny you should ask …

Jerome Gilby, 30, was taken into custody at his girlfriend’s house Monday afternoon for the July 10 robbery that occurred at 10 Mule Road in Toms River, police said.

Your girlfriend’s house? Really? Why not just go to your own house? As for the details …

At approximately 6:45 p.m. last Friday, a man entered the TD Bank and handed the teller a note demanding cash. He then fled on foot into an unknown direction.

“Investigators from the FBI, Ocean County Sheriff’s Department CSI Unit, Lakehurst Police, Brick Police, and the Seaside Heights Police Department worked closely to track down the whereabouts of Gilby,” a Toms River Police Department press release said.

The robber was described by authorities as a white male, 25-35 years old, 5-foot-9 and around 170 pounds. He was wearing a black Chicago Bulls Starter hat with a “doo rag” underneath and white sunglasses.

Gilby is being held on $100,000 bail with no 10 percent option.

Click here for the source, which includes a mug shot.

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shoplifters shoplifting shoplift

Maybe this guy’s intentions were good, or maybe he saw what he thought was an opportunity to shoot his gun. Regardless, he is now officially in the soup.  As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

It happened in the parking lot of the Kmart on Outer Loop, near New Cut Road, just before 8 p.m. Thursday.

According to an arrest report, police were called to the area after someone reported a shooting. When they arrived, they met with 24-year-old Robert J. Jones, the man police say fired the gun.

Jones allegedly told the officers that an unidentified white man who was carrying merchandise used an emergency exit to get out of the store. Suspecting the man was a shoplifter, Jones said he confronted him from his truck, demanding a receipt.

You’re seriously going to make a citizen’s arrest over a potential shoplifting? Just get the license plate and give it to the cops!  But no ….

Jones told police that the man got into a van and “appeared to reach for a gun,” according to the arrest report. Jones further told police that he did pull a gun.

At that point, police say Jones told them he got out of his truck, shoved a loaded magazine into his own gun and chambered a round. He then allegedly fired two or three rounds at the white male because he, “looked like he was trying to squeeze off a round.”

Jones told officers the man drove his van northbound on New Cut Road — and that the van should have two bullet holes in the hood.

Hmm. “Appeared to reach for a gun.”  Any witnesses?

A witness at the scene told police that he never saw a gun in the unidentified white male’s vehicle — and that the man in the van was trying to get away from Jones, who was shooting at him.

Officers were able to locate the man in the van, who allegedly told them that, “he had to make an evasive maneuver in his vehicle and drive behind the building because the gun was pointed directly towards him facing New Cut Road,” adding that he was, “in extreme fear for his life at the time.”

You in trouble now.

The officer who wrote the report stated that since Jones had enough time to load and chamber a round before firing, and that he fired as the vehicle was leaving, that his actions, “manifested an extreme indifference to the value of human life,” and that, “the action may have ended in serious injury or death to the vic[tim] and anyone else in the parking lot.”

Police say they found three .40 caliber shell casings at the scene, and recovered a .40 caliber handgun from Jones.

Jones was arrested and charged with one count of first degree wanton endangerment.

Bet he keeps it holstered next time. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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emergency phone 911

People do the darndest things when they’re plastered. Example number 12,434, 523 comes to you from The Northwest Florida Daily News:

The call [from 55-year-old Fort Walton Beach man] came in to Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office E911 system at 12:19 a.m. on June 24, according to the arrest report. He said “Send coroner, I just killed myself.”

Fort Walton Beach Police officers were dispatched to his home, because it was in the city, the report said. They found that he didn’t not have an emergency and “was only highly intoxicated.”

He refused to cooperate with officer, who determined that his phone had been the one used to call 911, according to the report.

He is charged with misuse of 911.

On a positive note, at least he wasn’t driving! Here’s the source.

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Getting pocket dialed is annoying, though we all get tagged occasionally, even the police. In this particular instance, The Juice is guessing they weren’t the least bit annoyed.

Police responded to a 911 call in the 600 block of S.W. 122nd street. The caller was on a cell phone and accidentally dialed 911. When no one responded on the line, the dispatcher became concerned. They were able to trace the call and locate the cell phone in an abandoned house. Officers arrived and found three subjects had broken in to a rear door of the home and were inside illegally.

Exactly how this “subject” pocket dialed 911 will remain a mystery. HT to The Highline Times (Washington State).

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angry man face upset pissed ticked off irate

A certain gentleman (not the guy in picture) will be cursing child safety locks in cars for quite some time. Why? As reported by nola.com (The Times-Picayune):

A man accused of stealing more than $20,000 in cash after burglarizing a Metairie coffee shop might have gotten away if it wasn’t for a pesky child-safety door lock, according to authorities. The driver of a Jeep Grand Cherokee pulled over by Deputy Michal Voltolina during the early morning hours of July 4th bolted from the vehicle after a brief chase, according to Col. John Fortunato, spokesman for the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office.

But Brent Prince, 22, of Metairie, found himself in handcuffs after becoming trapped inside the Jeep by the vehicle’s safety locks.

The driver? Identified, but still at large. You can read a fair amount more, and see the mug shots, here.

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jail cell person man in

Yes, incredibly, this is a real story. As reported by myfoxdetroit.com:

Three Bloomfield Hills kids who refused an order by a judge to go to lunch with their father have been ordered to a juvenile detention facility.

“I felt like I was watching them be executed,” said Maya Tsimhoni.

The Tsimhoni family was in Oakland County’s family court for a hearing on supervised parenting time when Judge Lisa Gorcyca took matters into her own hands.

Read the court transcript as the judge as she sent the three kids to Children’s Village

June 24 court transcripts showed how upset the judge was. She ordered the Tsimhoni kids ages 14,10 and 9 to have a “healthy relationship” with their father.

She criticized them for avoiding him and even compared them to Charles Manson and his cult. Gorcyca then ordered the children to apologize and have a nice lunch with their dad.

When they refused, Gorcyca held them in contempt and had each child hauled off to Children’s Village’s juvenile hall – until they are 18 years old.

It’s been two weeks, and they’re still there. You can read a lot more here.

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rock paper scissors

Who would think of “rock, paper, scissors” as a gambling game? A Seattle man did (it’s unlikely he will again, at least for a while), and was looking for takers. He found one, and it didn’t end well. As reported by komonews.com:

King County prosecutors claim Michael Langley stabbed at another man after his friend lost a $1 bet on a street corner rock-paper-scissors match. Langley, 36, has been charged with second-degree assault in the June 29 incident.

Prior to the incident, the alleged victim had been soliciting rock-paper-scissors opponents near the intersection of Broadway and East Pike Street in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood.

A friend of Langley apparently took the gambler up on a game shortly after 3:20 a.m., and lost his dollar. While Langley’s friend was sanguine after the loss, police say Langley saw red.

“I’m going to stab you in the (expletive) neck,” Langley told the other man after demanding a refund for his friend, according to charging papers.

Langley then pulled a folding knife and lashed out, slashing inched from the other man’s body and slicing his “rock-paper-scissors for a dollar” sign, a Seattle Police Department detective said in charging papers. The alleged victim gave the other man back his dollar and fled.

According to charging papers, Langley was still near the QFC grocery store at the corner when the alleged victim returned moments later. He identified Langley as his assailant to police at the scene.

Police arrested Langley inside the QFC. According to charging papers, Langley was carrying a knife matching the description given by the victim.

Questioned by police, Langley claimed he threatened to burn the other man’s sign but denied stabbing at him, the detective said in court papers. Langely is alleged to have stuffed two bottles of wine into his pants during his visit to the QFC.

Langley has been jailed since the incident on $80,000 bail. He has not yet entered an initial plea.

Wow. That’s a lot of jack. Here’s the source.

 

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number ten 10 address

I’m not drunk! I know where I live! It’s No. 10 right there. Well, not exactly. As reported in The Moultrie News Police Blotter:

A drunk guy got a ride home one night to his apartment and told the driver he lived in apartment No. 10, according to a report.

He got a ride home! Excellent.

The guy went to the door and the female driver tried to use his key to open his door for him, but it would not work. She then knocked and the real person who lived in that particular apartment opened the door, the report said.

The driver asked the resident if she knew the man and she said she did not.

At this point, the driver told the man not to go anywhere and she ran to her car to get something. The resident had closed and locked her door at this point.

Hmm.

When the driver came back, she saw that the drunk man had kicked in the door, according to the report.

Police were called and noted that the man was extremely intoxicated.

They could not get any clear answers from him, but did determine he lived in apartment No. 10, just not in this particular building, the report said.

Doh!

The property management company agreed to press charges for damages to the door and the suspect was hauled off to jail for drunkenness in public, where the doors are too strong to kick in.

 

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courthouse

This fellow was indeed born free and naked, but he’s in the slammer now (and clothed). He’s fortunate not to have been held in contempt. Perhaps the judge liked his singing. As reported by The Irish Times:

A 49-year-old man from Youghal in Co Cork, who constantly sang ‘Born Free’ when he appeared in court in Derry on Monday, has been remanded in custody.

Nicholas Roper was arrested in in Altnagelvin Hospital on Saturday night and charged with disorderly behaviour in the hospital’s accident and emergency department.

When his case was called at the city’s Magistrate’s Court, a police sergeant told District Judge Barney McElholm that the defendant had stripped naked in a police van and was refusing to come into the court room.

Mr McElholm said if it became necessary for him to hold the court hearing in front of the defendant standing outside the police van, he would do so.

Several minutes later the defendant appeared in the dock fully clothed.

As the court clerk read out the charge of disorderly behaviour to the defendant, the defendant started singing ‘Born Free’ and continued to sing the song throughout the hearing.

He ignored questions from the court clerk, from the sergeant and from the judge.

The defendant refused to say if he was guilty or not guilty of the charge. Mr McElholm said because each defendant was entitled to the presumption of innocent, a not guilty plea would be entered on his behalf.

When asked if he wished to apply for bail, the defendant continued singing and again ignored the question.

Mr McElholm said he was not refusing bail, but he was remanding the defendant in custody because he had not applied for bail.

The judge then asked the prison officers present to ensure the defendant was clinically assessed when in custody.

The police sergeant told the court that after his arrest the defendant was clinically assessed by appropriate medical experts who said he was fit to appear in court.

The defendant was remanded in custody until July 20th and Mr McElholm informed him that he was entitled to apply to the High Court for bail.

Click here for the source.