Squeezed on:

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

So maybe that’s a little bit of hyperbole. Still, who would steal the baby Jesus? And why, in reporting about the theft, would anyone capitalize the word “Baby”? In any event, as reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

A Rockaway Township husband and wife say they are “heartbroken” after a Baby Jesus was stolen from a nativity scene on their front lawn.

But Elaine and Mark Romito haven’t given up on retrieving the item that has graced the front of their home at 8 Daniel St. during the Christmas season for the past 22 years.

The couple is asking for help from the public in the hope that Baby Jesus will be returned.

What, are Joseph and Mary chopped liver?

You can read a lot more about this, and see a photo of the nativity scene, here.

 

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

mother daughter bonding

Shared experiences among a mother and her daughter can be great. Or not. This definitely falls in the latter category. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

According to Manchester police Sgt. Brian O’Keefe, at 7:30 a.m. Friday multiple patrol units responded to 81 Ashland St. to investigate a report of a large fight and spoke with two victims, a 38-year-old mother and her daughter, 18.

The mother, whose name was not released, told police she was operating her motor vehicle in the area of Lowell and Ashland streets when two females refused to exit the road while riding bicycles. According to police, a brief argument ensued and the mother exited her vehicle and confronted the two bike riders.

Rule #1, don’t confront someone unless you’re prepared for the confrontation.

Police say this sparked what O’Keefe termed a “physical altercation” between the mother, her daughter and the two women, identified as Samantha Foss, 24, and Lindsey Paglieroni, 32, both of Manchester.

During the altercation, Foss allegedly stabbed the mother, causing a laceration to left arm. Foss then allegedly stabbed the woman’s daughter in the back of her neck. Both women were transported to the Elliot Hospital, where they were treated for non-life threatening injuries and released.

Should have just kept on driving.

Foss was arrested on charges of first degree assault, falsifying physical evidence and being a convicted felon for possessing a weapon after being previously convicted of a felony level offense. She is scheduled to be arraigned in the 9th Circuit Court in Manchester on Monday.

Here’s the source.

 

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

no spitting spit

A Minnesota man was thinking no such thought as he got ready to … spit! And he paid the price. As reported by www.kare11.com (Minneapolis):

“I was walking to get some pizza with some buddies,” Thomas said.

The 21-year-old said he was getting over an illness and he spit as he was walking. He quickly learned that’s illegal in Minneapolis.

He must have been really surprised when the police officer warned … wait, he didn’t get a warning?

Police officers driving by in Dinkytown cited him for spitting, which carries a hefty fine. According to the city ordinance if you spit on sidewalks, bus or public areas it’s a $115 misdemeanor.

That could fill the coffers pretty fast, assuming the miscreants pay.

Thomas calls the law “wacky” but he’s sucking it up will pay the fine.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Thomas.

Squeezed on:

phone text cell mobile texting

Normally it would be nice for a father to text his daughter. Here, not so much. As reported by wowt.com:

The Nebraska Supreme Court on Friday reversed a lower court’s issuance of a domestic abuse protection order for a 16-year-old girl against her father, saying his vulgar, obscenity-laced texts did not constitute abuse.

The decision came in the case of man listed in the opinion as “William N.” Court records indicate that the girl’s mother sought a domestic abuse protection order for her daughter earlier this year after the father sent the girl texts calling the girl, her boyfriend and her mother vulgar names.

A Valley County judge issued the protection order and William N. appealed. The state’s high court said that since he had not threatened to harm the teen, the lower court was wrong to issue a domestic abuse protection order.

That’s just beyond uncool. The man is lucky his daughter is a minor or the world would know his name. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

orange juice glass

A big “shout out” from The Juice to Mr. John Long of Loxahatchee, Florida for the assist (along with, or course, the Sun Sentinel) in further entrenching “legal juice” into our lexicon. How did he do this? Here’s how, as reported by the Sun Sentinel:

[Mr.] Long … is the alleged orange juice burglar, suspected of breaking into three Wellington homes Sunday night while residents were inside and stealing orange juice, reports WPTV News in West Palm Beach.

The Sun Sentinel went on to say (drum roll please) …

Now he’ll need a little legal juice.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I, er, I mean The Juice has arrived! … The Juice would like to thank the Academy, and everyone who has worked to make Legal Juice what it is today (whatever that is) …

But back to the story. Why steal OJ? Well …

“He did some ecstasy and PCP and hasn’t been right since. He’s having delusions of grandeur and other issues,” his father Vincent Long told WPTV News.

In all seriousness, please note that The Juice is basking in this worldwide recognition, not denigrating Mr. Long.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

deal handshake hand shake offer

You, a former judge, enter into a plea deal.  Your lawyer says it is a good plea deal. Then you reject it because it might impact your pension? Check this out, as reported by The Phladelphia Enquirer:

Former Philadelphia Common Pleas Court Judge Willis W. Berry Jr. on Thursday rejected a proposed guilty plea on conflict of interest charges after learning that it could imperil his state pension.

“It’s a shame, it was a good deal, but we just can’t risk the pension,” said Samuel C. Stretton, a lawyer for the 72-year-old former judge.

Stretton publicly announced Berry’s decision at a status hearing before Common Pleas Court Judge Michael Erdos.

With the plea off the table, Erdos transferred the case to trial Judge Donna Woelpper and set a pretrial hearing for Jan. 7.

Stretton said Berry, who retired two years ago, was to have pleaded guilty to charges he used his judicial office and court staff to operate his private real-estate business.

In return, Stretton said, Berry would have been sentenced to probation and would have agreed to pay restitution of $50,000.

A good deal? If you read the rest of the article, you’ll see that it was a great deal. Which leads one to wonder, does the former judge think he’s going to do better at trial? The reason it was such a good deal is because of the mountain of evidence against him! And he was going to get probation!

Squeezed on:

pills drugs

You know how when you watch TV shows about jail or prison, the joints are filled with contraband? Well, it’s true. Some prisons have such a problem with prisoners using cell phones that they have to jam them! As for drugs in the joint, here’s an example, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, NY).

St. Lawrence County Sheriff deputies say they charged a St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility inmate with felonies for allegedly selling drugs while locked up.

Matthew J. Hough is charged with fourth-degree criminal sale of a controlled substance and first-degree promoting prison contraband, both felonies.

Deputies said he was allegedly found in possession of a narcotic drug and allegedly provided it to other inmates.

Hough was arraigned in Canton Town Court and sent back to the jail, deputies said.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

short skirt skirts

The Juice has never heard of anything happening like this in the United States nor does he expect to, ever.  However, this was in India, as reported at dnaIndia.com:

A 24-year-old man allegedly slapped actress and model Gauhar Khan and assaulted her at the sets of a musical reality show, India’s Raw Star, on Sunday. The man was allegedly against her wearing short clothes.

The incident happened on Sunday evening when Khan, the host of the show, was shooting for its grand finale episode. According to the police, a member of the audience, Akil Malik, 24, walked up to the stage, allegedly misbehaved with her and then slapped her. The incident happened at Studio number 9, Filmcity in Goregaon East.

A police officer said, “Malik told the actress that he was against her wearing short clothes before slapping her. He touched her inappropriately as well. Following this, guards deployed at the show intervened and stopped him. He was immediately handed over to the police. We took him in custody and have sent him for medical examination. He will be arrested soon.”

At the time of going to press, the Aarey Colony police was in the process of registering a case under sections 323 (voluntarily causing hurt) and 354 (assault or criminal force on woman with intent to outrage her modesty) under the Indian Penal Code. “We will be taking statements from the actress. Currently we are interrogating the accused. Investigations are on,” said Punjabrao Ugale, DCP of Zone 12.

You’ll find the source, including a photo of Ms. Khan, here.

Squeezed on:

security camera

It wasn’t hard to prove that this was an inside job! You might ask yourself how a security guard could possibly be unaware of security cameras in the store where he worked. It’s definitely a head-scratcher.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter (90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg):

The owner of a Varet Street jeans and sneakers store said that a security guard stole merchandise between Nov. 11 and Nov. 14.

The proprietor of the establishment between Graham Avenue and Humboldt Street reported that he caught the rent-a-cop on video taking several pairs of sneakers from between Nov. 11 at 5 pm and Nov. 14 at 11 am.

Um, er, uh.

Squeezed on:

speeding

Really? You’re blaming the dog for the car exceeding 100 mph? Under oath? In Court? Yup. You can probably guess what the judge thought of this defense. As reported by The Daily Star:

Jordan Winn claimed Buster, a Staffordshire bull terrier, leapt into the foot well of his Volvo and sat on the accelerator pedal, causing him to drive away from a police officer that was pursuing him in Chester-le-Street, Durham.

According to Winn, Buster was operating the driving pedals with his bum while looking up at him with his head poking up between his knees because it was stuck underneath the steering wheel.

The 23-year-old’s story was branded “ludicrous” by a judge and was jailed for 13 months at Durham Crown Court and disqualified from driving for three years.

In an attempt to reduce his culpability after CCTV footage of the incident on October 19 last year was shown to the court, Winn even claimed Buster put his behind down on the brakes as the Volvo narrowly avoided a family car.

However the suggestion that the terrier knew when to brake to avoid colliding with the car travelling in the opposite direction and exactly when to speed back up was dismissed.

You can read more, and find the source, here.