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Got the gun? Check. Ready to do this? Check. In the bank? Um. No. Per the Lexington Herald-Leader:

Police in Nicholasville say a man showed a gun and tried to rob a bank, but he wasn’t in one.

The Jessamine South Elkhorn Water District has offices in what was formerly a branch of Farmers Bank.

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We all have days that we just want to end, even The Juice. But we all, er, most of us, that is, power through those days. Not this gent. The damage? You won’t believe it. As reported by The Union Leader:

A former civilian painter who pleaded guilty Thursday to setting two fires aboard the USS Miami could serve about 20 years in prison and have to pay some of the $500 million in damages and injuries. [The victims in the case include the Navy as well as seven firefighters and sailors who were injured during the first fire, which took 12 hours to extinguish.]

Casey James Fury, 24, who worked at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard for two years, faces two counts of arson after he confessed to setting a four-alarm fire aboard the $900 million Los Angeles Class submarine May 23 and a smaller fire in the dry dock at the Kittery facility June 12.

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Okay, so this gent is probably a good U.S. Marshal. Still, ain’t no way Raylan Givens would have done this. Yeah, yeah. The Juice knows it’s a television show. But hey, it’s a damn good one.

As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

An off-duty U.S. Marshal left his loaded gun in a dressing room at the Silver Sands Outlet Mall on Sunday afternoon.

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too good to be true scam
Yeah, this was a job alright – a con job. How do people not see through these schemes? This one is out of the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) as reported by brooklynpaper.com:

The [22-year-old] victim said she applied for a position listed on the website Craigslist from her home in between 15th and 16th avenues and got a call from the schemer that she had gotten the job. The con man sent her two checks for $6,291.87, and told her to deposit them in her personal account and write and deliver checks to three of his vendors, she said.

The victim complied, and signed three checks totalling $4,799.10 and personally gave them to the supposed employees — only to get a call at 2 pm on Feb. 8 from a bank stating that the checks she had received were fraudulent and she was out the four grand in dough, police reported.

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Whether to prosecute or not is a judgment call. In this case, let it go! You will not believe what this woman is being prosecuted for. As reported by foxcarolina.com:

A Pickens woman has been arrested and charged after deputies said she failed to return a Jennifer Lopez movie she rented in 2005.

Kayla Michelle Finley, 27, has been charged with failure to return a rented video cassette, according to the Pickens County Sheriff’s Office.

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It’s fair to say that people generally know what’s in their underwear, and where it came from, right? An Italian gentleman with a wad of a cash in his skivvies couldn’t answer the “where it came from” part, putting him in the soup. As reported at www.couriermail.com.au:

British border control officials caught an Italian man trying to smuggle £10,000 ($17,330) out of Northern Ireland in his underwear. The man was stopped by border control officials on July 23 as he boarded a flight to Rome from Belfast International Airport.

The cash – consisted of British Pound Sterling and Euro notes – was discovered in the man’s underwear, pockets and wallet.

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no soup for you
Yeah, getting banned from the internet for a period of time is probably a fair punishment for what this man did. As reported by the New York Daily News:

Jason Willis, 31, thought he was just having some innocent fun advertising his neighbor’s sexual services on personal ad sites.

But he caught a whole lot of heat after men started turning up at her Waterford house at all hours of the day – including one who was wearing nothing but a trench coat.

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You’re probably thinking, hmm, a bow and arrow? A pea shooter? A crossbow? A taser? (Please, that’s not Juiceworthy.) An RPG? A bazooka? No actually … via nbcconnecticut.com …

Police said David J. Walski [60], of 55 Crouch Avenue, fired several rounds at his male relative with a flare gun, striking him one time. The victim was transported to William Backus Hospital for a non-life threatening injury.  One of the flares entered the victim’s residence, but no significant damage was caused.

A flare gun? Who shoots someone with a flare gun even once, much less “several” times?

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Sure it’s true that kids these days do a lot of things sooner than kids used to. But this? Yikes. As reported by Reuters:

A ten-year-old Norwegian boy came up with a novel excuse after he drove his parents’ car into a snowy ditch on Wednesday morning: he told police he was a dwarf who forgot his driving license.

The boy lives near Dokka, a town about 110 kilometres north of Oslo. Sometime before 0600 local time, he loaded his 18-month old sister into the car and headed for their grandparents in Valdres, about 60 kilometres away, local police said.