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The Juice really, really dislikes liars. Everyone screws up. When you do, just own up to it, and accept the consequences. A drunk-driving English lawyer took a different approach. As reported by The Independent:

Francis Bridgeman, 43, attempted to create an elaborate web of lies to cover up the drink-driving offence … Bridgeman’s Land Rover Sport was found locked and in a ditch in Shovers Green, Ticehurst, East Sussex, at about 1am on April 7, 2010, having crashed into a telegraph pole, police said.

Officers traced the Land Rover to Bridgeman’s home in Wards Lane, Wadhurst, but the lawyer claimed armed men had kidnapped him in the car park of Wadhurst railway station, before driving him off at knifepoint with a bag over his head in another vehicle and then dumping him in Cousley Wood

And, as an officer of the court, you’re sticking with that? Really?

Sussex Police said a breath test carried out at his home proved he was just over the drink-drive limit and he was arrested on suspicion of drink-driving.

Barely over! So he can’t even claim that he came up with such a lame story because he was shitfaced!

Police launched a kidnap investigation but Bridgeman’s recollection of events could not be substantiated, police said.

And physical evidence?

Bridgeman’s DNA was found on the Land Rover’s airbag, showing that he must have been driving the car when it crashed, Sussex Police added.

Curse you, DNA!

He was charged with perverting the course of justice, drink-driving, driving without due care and attention and failing to report a road accident.

After a 5-day trial, guess how long it took for the jury to find him guilty? 45 minutes! So what was the sentence?

Judge Guy Anthony banned Bridgeman from driving for 18 months and ordered that he pay £4,200 costs.

Additionally, Bridgeman was sentenced to 12 months in jail.

Quoting a line from Sir Walter Scott’s poem Marmion, [the Judge] said: “Oh, What a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive.”

He added: “You wasted valuable police time and public expense in order to escape a drink-driving offence when you should have had the courage and decency to plead guilty from the outset. To pervert the course of justice is a serious offence and warrants a custodial sentence.”

Hear, hear, your Honor. Hear, hear. You’ll find the source here.

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shopping shop shoppers

Although most folks go to the store to shop, this gent had something else in mind. He apparently also isn’t aware of this “new” tool stores use called “security videos.” As reported by clickorlando.com (wkmg):

From the start of the security video, it is obvious the man on the video does not want to get caught doing something very wrong. He is seen looking around, lowering his hand and then hiding behind a rack of clothes.

A woman walks past, unaware of what he was doing. Then, he steps into view of the camera, and it becomes obvious what was going on.

Police arrested Dwight Eddington for indecent exposure after the store security guard told authorities the suspect “appeared to have been following a customer inside the store” while touching himself.

Other shoppers wondered if anyone noticed what he was up to, but said the act is “pretty disgusting.”

Hey, these are just allegations, and, er, videos. Surely there could be an innocent explanation.

Eddington had nothing to say to Local 6 when we found him at home, but to police, he denied touching himself and said he “had an itch and had to expose himself in order to scratch.”

Alrighty then. And that’s not the only legal matter Mr. Eddington is dealing with.

Police arrested Eddington in October for allegedly strangling someone in a domestic violence case.

Here’s the source, including a video of the story.

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So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily.
 According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters.
 He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.

Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …

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A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant with a sword (this is not the beginning of a joke). Seriously, a guy walked into a Mexican restaurant in San Antonio with a sword, as reported by The Houston Chronicle (chron.com).

[Adam] Kramer [age 28] ordered six tacos at Alondras De Jalisco on South Loop 1604 at about 2:30 p.m. on Dec. 2, according to documents released Friday. When the waitress told Kramer how much he owed, he responded that he was going to take them for free, officials said.

When the waitress told Kramer that he had to pay for his food, he allegedly started sliding what is described as a large sword in and out of a black sheath on his waist, the affidavit says.

That’s nice, sweetie, but that’ll be …

The waitress asked the cook to come talk with Kramer, who left the building when the phone rang, according to the affidavit. Kramer went to his vehicle before walking back to the restaurant, still allegedly carrying the large sword, so the waitress locked the door, documents state.

“Mr. Kramer was yelling that he wanted his free tacos or somebody was going to die,” the affidavit says.

Yes, it sounds made up, just like so many of The Juice’s posts. But it’s true.

Kramer eventually drove out of the parking lot in a black Toyota truck, according to authorities. He was picked up by Bexar County Sheriff’s Office deputies the next day on a separate charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

The waitress was able to pick out Kramer’s photograph from a lineup and also identified the sword, documents state.

Kramer is also facing a third charge, for attempted robbery, according to records.

If you’re wondering what Mr. Kramer is up to now …

… [he] remains in the Bexar County Jail with a bail amount of $50,000.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Kramer.

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This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman’s office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim’s support during the trial.

How did it happen?

Following the verdict, the woman grew hysterical, and as Criminal District Court Judge Benedict Willard and lawyers were discussing a possible appeal bond for Magee, the defendant apparently walked to the back of the courtroom and out the door.

So nobody was responsible for keeping tabs on a violent sex offender?

In a news release, Gusman said his office was looking into whether any policies or procedures were broken.

See, apparently there’s a simple explanation.

“One deputy was escorting the jury out, and you had the other with the situation about the woman doing what she was doing [acting hysterical]. All that was part of the process of what was going on,” Ehrhardt said.

Really? That’s it? A minor distraction, and a felon walks right out of the courthouse? You can read more here.

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you've been a very bad boy

It seems that, oftentimes, a spouse who has been cheated on is angry at the other woman/man, and not the cheating spouse. What’s up with that? We may have stumbled on another such case, although the jilted spouse in this case may have let her husband have it too. As reported by khou.com:

One doctor is now facing criminal charges after police say she broke into the home of her romantic rival last weekend.

Uh-oh.

Doctor Angela Siler-Fisher is the medical director at Ben Taub Hospital’s Emergency Center and is also a professor at Baylor College of Medicine. Siler-Fisher now stands accused of a bizarre crime in an upscale West University area neighborhood.

Some serious creds. So what happened?

According to documents, Siler-Fisher broke into a home there by kicking in a doggy door. Once inside, she allegedly used lipstick to write ‘whore’ and ‘homewrecker’ on the woman’s mirror.

Law enforcement sources told KHOU Siler-Fisher also left a trail of unused condoms up the woman’s staircase.

She’s then accused of calling the woman on her way out and threatening to “beat her”. Documents allege Siler-Fisher texted the other woman 25 times over the next 16 hours.

Yup, she’s pissed.  So what are the repercussions, personally and professionally?

Siler-Fisher was arrested on charges of criminal trespass and harassment. She has since posted bond.

Baylor College of Medicine released a brief statement following news of Siler-Fisher’s arrest: “We understand that this is a private matter for Dr. Fisher and does not impact her work at Baylor College of Medicine.”

The Juice agrees with Baylor.

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permanent marker

In Oklahoma City, it’s illegal for a minor to possess a “broad-tipped” permanent marker. Here’s the ordinance:

§ 35-201. – Prohibition on possession of aerosol spray paint by minors.

No person under the age of 18 years may possess an aerosol spray paint container or broad-tipped indelible marker on any public property unless accompanied by a parent, guardian, employer, teacher or other adult in any similar relationship and such possession is for a lawful purpose.

This is not academic, at least for one 13-year-old boy. As reported by The Oklahoman:

A 13-year-old was arrested Friday in Oklahoma City, accused of violating a little-known city ordinance that prohibits possession of a permanent marker in some circumstances.

Doh!

The teen was caught using a permanent marker at Roosevelt Middle School by a teacher, according to the crime report filed with the Oklahoma City Police Department.

Delynn Woodside noted the marker had bled through a piece of paper onto the desk and reported to a police officer that she also had seen the teen writing on the desk with the marker, the report said.

Woodside, a seventh-grade math teacher, made a citizen’s arrest on the teen, and the police officer transferred the student to a Community Intervention Center that houses juveniles who have been arrested. The name of the minor was not released.

A citizen’s arrest under that law? And sending the kid to Juvie? Why go all “Gomer Pyle” on the kid (see above) instead of just sending him to the principal’s office for defacing school property? Here’s the source.

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pow

So you were dancing with another man, and you’re mad at him? Perhaps there’s more to the story, but on the face of it, yikes! Per the Northwest Florida Daily News:

The couple, who are engaged, live together and have children, were at Don’s Ice House on North Ferdon Boulevard where they got into an argument over the woman dancing with another man.

In case you missed that, she was dancing with another man.

They left and got into their car to go home. During the drive, Crestview Police officers were told, the woman hit the man on the right side of his face, causing minor injuries. She then grabbed him on his upper right arm, causing another injury, according to the report. When they arrived at her mother’s house, the woman allegedly hit the man again, injuring his lip.

Ouch! The charges?

She was charged with battery-domestic violence and has a Dec. 23 plea date.

Here’s the source.

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don't sign

A Minnesota man was thinking no such thought as he got ready to … spit! And he paid the price. As reported by www.kare11.com (Minneapolis):

“I was walking to get some pizza with some buddies,” Thomas said.

The 21-year-old said he was getting over an illness and he spit as he was walking. He quickly learned that’s illegal in Minneapolis.

He must have been really surprised when the police officer warned … wait, he didn’t get a warning?

Police officers driving by in Dinkytown cited him for spitting, which carries a hefty fine. According to the city ordinance if you spit on sidewalks, bus or public areas it’s a $115 misdemeanor.

That could fill the coffers pretty fast, assuming the miscreants pay.

Thomas calls the law “wacky” but he’s sucking it up will pay the fine.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Thomas.