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This robber’s weapon of choice – pruning clippers. It shouldn’t come as a big surprise that the endeavor didn’t go so well. As reported by The Bellingham Herald (Washington):

Police released photos of the robbery Thursday, Aug. 30. They show the masked man walking into Starvin’ Sam’s, 1101 Iowa St.

He brandished a pair of pruning clippers with 3-inch blades, said David Kassner, the clerk working the graveyard shift at 2:50 a.m. Aug. 20. The suspect, who wore a black ski mask with eyeholes, strode toward the cash register and demanded money.

He probably didn’t know the clerk was a Vietnam vet.

“But I wouldn’t do that,” said Kassner, a retired U.S. Army staff sergeant who served in southeast Asia.

Instead the clerk backed up and grabbed a hammer-style stapler that happened to be sitting on a countertop. Employees at the service station use the stapler to tack up posters.

Oh it’s on now.

The suspect grabbed the register and tried to take the whole thing with him. Kassner swung the stapler at the man’s head. He missed his target but must have made contact, because the man “ran out real quick” clutching his wrist, Kassner said, and without any cash.

See ya.

The man was last seen running northbound on Moore Street, said Bellingham police spokesman Mark Young.

Police dogs tried to track him, but the trail quickly “evaporated” – meaning he may have hopped into a car or rode away on a bike, Young said.

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junk salvage yard

Too many laws are justified, at least in part, on the grounds of promoting the morals of us citizens. Here’s a Minnesota law you can add to that list:

471.924 COUNTY REGULATION OF SECONDHAND AND JUNK DEALERS. Subdivision 1. Authority.

For the purpose of promoting the health, safety, morals, and general welfare of its residents, any county in the state may regulate the activities of secondhand and junk dealers.

How could a secondhand store or a junk dealer or a secondhand store ever be immoral? Anyone? Here’s a link to the statute.

second hand shop

 

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Everything becomes crystal clear when you’re drunk, right? You never do anything you later regret. You do? Well, this gent did too. As reported in Off The Beat (by Will Greenlee, tcpalm.com):

Michael Moore said his wife told him he’d been drinking to excess. So, Moore told Stuart police, he decided to “drive it of.”

Brilliant!

Moore made the statement around 12:35 a.m. Feb. 13 after an officer noticed his sport utility vehicle appeared to be speeding on U.S. 1, according to recently released records.

Police stopped Moore, 61, in the 800 block of Southwest U.S. 1 and reported he smelled of booze, appeared to have glassy eyes and slurred his speech.

What did he have to say for himself?

He told one officer he was coming from home and had “a couple” of drinks. He said he was en route to a bar for “a few” more.

Moore told another officer he got in an argument with his wife and left for a drive.

“He also told me that his wife told him that he (had) been drinking too much so he decided to go out and ‘drive it off,'” an arrest affidavit states.

Moore was given field sobriety exercises, and a breath test measured his blood alcohol content at 0.104 and 0.103 — greater than the 0.08 limit.

Now it all makes sense …

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Another day, another scam.  It was working pretty well until … they got caught! As reported by The Express-Times via LehighValleyLive.com:

Two coupon counterfeiters have been jailed after police in Warren County uncovered a large-scale baby supply scam that hit hundreds of stores in nine states while netting one of the men more than $250,000, authorities said.

Wenqiang Wu, 38, and Zhouxing Dong, 26, both of Brooklyn, N.Y., targeted Wal-Mart stores, passing off fake coupons for baby formula and diapers, before they were busted Sunday in Pohatcong Township, police said.

Police said charges are also pending against two others who were arrested days later at the Route 22 store in an apparently unrelated, but identical, scheme.

Wo! 250 large? That’s a lot of baby stuff.

“It’s a unique case,” Pohatcong Township police Detective Sgt. Scott Robb said today.

How it works, Robb said, is fraudsters duplicate a valid manufacturer’s coupon and alter the bar code, tricking store computers into thinking each is legitimate. The scam isn’t realized until later, when the store sends the coupons to the manufacturer for reimbursement.  In the meantime, the individual get products for free or at a significantly discounted price before reselling them.

Pretty clever. They probably should have switched products at some point, and stores! Like Wal-Mart (or any large chain) isn’t eventually going to figure it out? You can read more (a lot) here.

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There’s this thing called “plausible deniability.” “Hey, I did not know anything about that!” See if you think this gent can rely on this defense. As reported by The Guyana Chronicle:

Colin Manson, 25, of Lot 377 Turkeyen, Greater Georgetown, was remanded to prison yesterday on a drug trafficking charge.

The prosecutor said the defendant was at Ogle Airport, with an intention of going to Port Kaituma, North West District, when a bag on his back was searched by (CANU) officers and found to contain the narcotic.

Now, maybe he could argue that someone put the drugs in his backpack without his knowledge. But …

On being taken to the CANU Head Office, another search was conducted on the defendant’s person and one more package containing the illegal substance was discovered in his crotch, the prosecutor related.

Now what do you have to say?

Manson denied having knowledge of the illegal substance.

Perhaps Mr. Manson might want to consider an alternative defense?

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In a 6-week span, this New Jersey man was charged with driving while intoxicated FOUR times! Each time, he was charged and released. As reported by The News of Cumberland County (at nj.com):

[Anderson] Sotomayor [age 45] began his alleged traffic crime spree on April 2, when Ulrich said he collided with a school bus. Though not charged with DWI for that accident, he was charged with improper passing, leaving the scene of an accident and failure to report an accident.

And then …

A week later on April 9, Officer Phillip Martinez charged him with DWI on the 300 block of Axtell Avenue after he collided with a police vehicle.

And then …

Two days later on April 11, Officer Luis Rodriguez charged him with DWI after responding to an accident during which Sotomayor had struck a utility pole by the intersection of Main Street and Landis Avenue.

Two days! And then …

Two weeks later on April 25, Officer Adam Shaw charged him with DWI and several other offenses after stopping him by the intersection of Delsea Drive and Park Avenue. He said Sotomayor was swerving and had a cold, opened 40-ounce bottle of Budweiser on the floor behind the passenger seat. Sotomayor asked Shaw to either give him a ride home or follow him home as he drove, an offer which Shaw declined.

Seems like a question only a drunk guy would ask a cop. And then …

Just over two weeks later on Saturday, May 12, officer Adam Shaw again pulled over Sotomayor on the 200 block of Grape Street. Sotomayor refused to take a breathalyzer test and was again charged with DWI. He was released on a summons pending his case in municipal court.

And finally (hopefully) …

… Sotomayor … received his fourth DWI charge on Saturday and was again released without bail, said Captain Thomas Ulrich of the Vineland police department.

And before you go getting mad at the police, they’re not pleased either.

“Bail is a matter for the Court System. The Police Department or its officers do not set bail. In this case, bail was not approved,” responded Ulrich.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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… with someone in it! Over a $28 debt! And the tipper was running for city council! True! And there’s more. Here’s the story from the Salem News:

Ken Sawicki, a candidate for Salem City Council, spent two weeks of the campaign behind bars this fall for allegedly locking a man inside a portable toilet and knocking it over in an attempt to collect a $28 debt.

Police said Sawicki confronted the man over the missing money at Riley Plaza one morning in October. The man said he needed a moment to use the bathroom and stepped inside the portable toilet. Sawicki then allegedly locked the man inside with a padlock and began rocking it back and forth.

As a crowd began to gather, Sawicki allegedly tipped the whole thing over.

He was arrested and spent two weeks in jail, but his campaign went on as the 54-year-old resorted to tactics that seemed to resemble, well, bathroom humor.

Days before Election Day, Sawicki was seen on a Route 114 traffic island sitting on a toilet (a real one) that he had dragged across the street. At one point, he even held a fishing rod and dropped a hook into the toilet basin.

A sign on the back read what most had already concluded: “My campaign is in the toilet.”

But Sawicki may have had the last laugh.

And 712 voters (11 percent of voters) cast at least one of their votes for the alleged toilet-tipper.

 

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No offense to all of The Juice’s white Mercedes-Benz-driving readers out there, but, given the headline, is it any surprise that the perp drove away in a white Mercedes-Benz? Out of the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) via brooklynpaper.com:

A disgruntled customer battered a cashier with a box of Lipton Iced Tea at a New Utrecht Avenue supermarket after she refused to ring up his purchases on Feb. 10, police stated.

The victim told cops she closed the line at her register at the store between 81st and 84th streets at 5:30 pm and told the would-be patron that she would be unable to check him out.

The entitled shopper pitched a fit and began cursing and screaming at the worker, then pulled out the box of tea and hit the worker in the face with it repeatedly, cops said. The crazed caffeine consumer then ran out of the store, jumped into his white Mercedes-Benz, and sped away, police said.

You poor dear! Oh the humanity!

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Perhaps this woman considered the reason for her call to be an emergency. It wasn’t. As reported by nbc-2.com (Florida):

Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

Uh-oh.

Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, “I haven’t been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.”

Noooooo! Eeeeeeg! Yikes!

The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

Montenez-Colon’s response was “You can [expletive] me,” according to the report.

Um. No.

After telling Montenez-Colon that her request was inappropriate, the officer got her past the sexual advances and she told him she’d signed ownership of a Corvette over to her step-son after her husband died. Now she wanted it back.

While relaying the car ownership tale, police say Montenez-Colon repeatedly tried to grab the officer’s arm and tried to rub her hands on his chest.

The officer says he told Montenez-Colon there was nothing he could do for you, and he left – handing her a card with the department’s number on it for future non-emergency calls.

Case … not closed.

Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home “pissed her off.”

The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, “He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry.”

When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?”

Can you believe the nerve of this officer? Isn’t he a public servant, for goodness sake? As for the lady in distress …

Montenez-Colon was arrested for Misuse of 911 and booked into the Charlotte County Jail.

You’ll find the source, including a photo and a video, by clicking here.