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vote%20for%20me.png
Sadly, this story is not about a U.S. politician. This gent hails from Bosnia. As reported by Reuters:

“Seven days after my campaign began, the whole planet is talking about me,” Mirad Hadziahmetovic told Reuters. “I think I have had a super campaign and proved to be the best market expert in Bosnia.”

The self-proclaimed “innovator” had been running as an independent candidate for mayor of Zenica, the fourth-largest city in Bosnia with a predominantly Muslim population, in the October 7 ballot.

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laundromat
It’s a helluva lot better than cleaning the bathroom, but nobody likes doing laundry. That’s why some people, even if they have a washing machine, take their clothes to a laundromat to have them washed and folded. For very particular folks, this is a bad idea. That brings us to today’s story, as reported by The South Jersey Times (via nj.com):

Unhappy with the wash and fold service, a disgruntled customer attacked the attendant at a local laundromat early Thursday morning, police said.

Yup. This jerk physically attacked her.

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dating date
Dating is always a crapshoot.  This date, though, ended in a very strange way. As reported in the police blotter from the 94th Precinct (Greenpoint–Northside) via brooklynpaper.com:

The victim said she went on a date with the guy and, at the end of the night, he turned cretinous because she did not want to spend the night.

While they were standing between Union Avenue at 1:15 am, the galoot grabbed her phone out of her hand and ran into the subway, she told police.

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good neighbors

It’s safe to say these folks won’t be going to each other’s house for dinner any time soon. As reported by The Daytona Beach News-Journal:

A brawl between two families in Oak Hill on Sunday night included punching, scratching and a pit bull named Ellie May and her master both biting their neighbor at the same time, a Volusia County sheriff’s report shows.

Yikes! You can read a ton more, and see a mug shot, here.

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finger wag wagging
If it’s a “he said/she said” occurrence, the party who has the burden of proof is usually going to lose, even more so in a criminal case because of the higher burden of proof. So if a person alleges that another person threatened him, that will be a tough case to prosecute, right? Generally, yes. But what if, oh, say the threat was made to a police officer? Doh! As reported by The Times And Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

“On Wednesday, March 26, a deputy sheriff responded to Gregory Complete Auto where Randall Dale Gregory indicated batteries and tires had been stolen from vehicles at his auto shop. While the deputy sheriff was taking the report, Gregory began making statements that ‘the OCSO is going to catch hell from him’ and that ‘he is going to drive a tank up the Sheriff (sic) Office and blow it up,’” Williams said. “Gregory continued making threats including against Chief Kinsey and saying that he would go to his home and steal all of his things. Gregory told the responding deputy sheriff ‘that if he observes any deputy sheriff or Sheriff Leroy Ravenell on his property if he is there ‘he will shoot them,’” Williams said.

Talk about stepping on your, er, that is, shooting yourself in the foot.

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bank teller
This teller must have missed the part in teller training about depositing funds by account number. (Who would do it by name?) Well, it turns out there is at least one teller out there who does it by name. And oh man is that teller in the soup. As reported by The Athens Banner-Herald (Athens, Georgia):

 The error occurred March 7, when a Madison County man went into First Citizens Bank on U.S. Highway 29, Hull, and made a $31,000 deposit, but because there are several people by the same name with accounts at the bank, the teller put the money into the wrong account, according to the sheriff’s report.

Doh!

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drunk%20driving%20urinal%20cake%20call%20for%20a%20ride.jpg
If you are convicted of driving under the influence SIX times, you should be doing a hell of a lot more time than this bloke. As reported by phillyburbs.com:

A Warrington man will have to spend 11½ to 23 months in the Montgomery County prison for his sixth drunken driving offense.

Robert Cuthbert, 47, of the 1200 block of Folly Road, also will have to serve an additional three-year probation sentence after he completes his parole time.

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aaa battery batteries
When you hear the word “battery” you think of 2 things:  “Hey, do you have a AAA battery?” Or you think of someone getting the ass kicked.  The Juice is quite confident that you would not think of something like this.  Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was charged with battery after he poured water on a woman during an argument, an arrest report indicates.

Yes, water.

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marijuana smell odor
Certainly most people are not dumb enough to just send weed through the mail without trying to mask the smell.  So the question is, does the masking agent smell stronger than the weed? Well, as reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Eight packages filled with marijuana were discovered at a mail sorting facility in Hazelwood, Mo. when workers there noticed the boxes smelled like pot.

Wait, you smelled the pot? But we masked that, dagnabbit!

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