Squeezed on:

finger wag wagging
If it’s a “he said/she said” occurrence, the party who has the burden of proof is usually going to lose, even more so in a criminal case because of the higher burden of proof. So if a person alleges that another person threatened him, that will be a tough case to prosecute, right? Generally, yes. But what if, oh, say the threat was made to a police officer? Doh! As reported by The Times And Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

“On Wednesday, March 26, a deputy sheriff responded to Gregory Complete Auto where Randall Dale Gregory indicated batteries and tires had been stolen from vehicles at his auto shop. While the deputy sheriff was taking the report, Gregory began making statements that ‘the OCSO is going to catch hell from him’ and that ‘he is going to drive a tank up the Sheriff (sic) Office and blow it up,’” Williams said. “Gregory continued making threats including against Chief Kinsey and saying that he would go to his home and steal all of his things. Gregory told the responding deputy sheriff ‘that if he observes any deputy sheriff or Sheriff Leroy Ravenell on his property if he is there ‘he will shoot them,’” Williams said.

Talk about stepping on your, er, that is, shooting yourself in the foot.

Squeezed on:

bank teller
This teller must have missed the part in teller training about depositing funds by account number. (Who would do it by name?) Well, it turns out there is at least one teller out there who does it by name. And oh man is that teller in the soup. As reported by The Athens Banner-Herald (Athens, Georgia):

 The error occurred March 7, when a Madison County man went into First Citizens Bank on U.S. Highway 29, Hull, and made a $31,000 deposit, but because there are several people by the same name with accounts at the bank, the teller put the money into the wrong account, according to the sheriff’s report.

Doh!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

drunk%20driving%20urinal%20cake%20call%20for%20a%20ride.jpg
If you are convicted of driving under the influence SIX times, you should be doing a hell of a lot more time than this bloke. As reported by phillyburbs.com:

A Warrington man will have to spend 11½ to 23 months in the Montgomery County prison for his sixth drunken driving offense.

Robert Cuthbert, 47, of the 1200 block of Folly Road, also will have to serve an additional three-year probation sentence after he completes his parole time.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

aaa battery batteries
When you hear the word “battery” you think of 2 things:  “Hey, do you have a AAA battery?” Or you think of someone getting the ass kicked.  The Juice is quite confident that you would not think of something like this.  Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was charged with battery after he poured water on a woman during an argument, an arrest report indicates.

Yes, water.

Squeezed on:

marijuana smell odor
Certainly most people are not dumb enough to just send weed through the mail without trying to mask the smell.  So the question is, does the masking agent smell stronger than the weed? Well, as reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Eight packages filled with marijuana were discovered at a mail sorting facility in Hazelwood, Mo. when workers there noticed the boxes smelled like pot.

Wait, you smelled the pot? But we masked that, dagnabbit!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

roadrunner%20coyote%20acme.jpg

If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

John Belushi
Not to be sexist, but if you don’t recognize that quote, you’re almost certainly female (or young, or old). Why does The Juice say this? Because it’s a classic line from a classic “guy’s” movie called … Animal House.    But back to the story at hand, we have a creepy doctor whose medical career may have just gone down the drain. As reported by The Hindustan Times:

According to sources in the PGIMER administration, a junior resident doctor from the general surgery department was found peeping in the bathroom where a woman doctor was taking bath. The woman identified the colleague who was peeping from top of the wall and raised the alarm.

The sources revealed that the incident took place in the resident doctors’ hostel located above Kairon Block, where both male and female doctors stay. There are common bathrooms for male and female doctors in the hostel.

Squeezed on:

cigarette butt
If you’re thinking this story is about a smoker who did something with a cigarette butt that caused a HUGE amount of damage, you would be right. Per The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):

Middlesex County acting Prosecutor Andrew C. Carey said investigators believe that [school custodian] Jerome C. Higgins, 48, of East Brunswick, tossed an unfinished portion of a cigarette into a trash can inside the school before he left the building sometime Saturday.

Uh-oh.

Squeezed on:

ouch ouch ouch ouch
There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.

You’re curious, right? What did she do?