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A mask is certainly a fine way to hide your face. It would seem obvious that it doesn’t cover everything else though. Obviously this guy didn’t think it through that far when he robbed a bank in Merrimack, New Hampshire. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

The bank robber wore a full-face President Obama mask and carried a Walmart shopping bag when he approached a teller and demanded cash Wednesday morning at the Bank of America branch at 356 Daniel Webster Highway.

Okay. So far, so good.

Police said they later determined the man charged with the robbery had a loaded handgun with him, but did not say whether the robber displayed the weapon during the robbery.

Not cool.

When police responded to the bank at 10:38 a.m., they learned a man wearing a mask, suitcoat, tie, jeans and gloves had demanded money from a teller and left with an undetermined amount of cash.

So he got away. Or … did he?

Witness descriptions pointed officers in the direction the robber had gone. Police Lt. Paul Trepaney went to the area of Columbus Circle, where he spotted a man matching the description of the robber — except for the President Obama mask — coming from behind one of the businesses.

This post could be called “everything but the mask.” Brilliant execution!

After what police described as a brief investigation, officers took the man, identified as John Griffin Jr., 52, of 186 S. Main St., Newport, into custody.

Dude probably still had the Walmart bag.

Griffin was charged with robbery and is being held on $75,000 cash-only bail at the Valley Street Jail, pending a probable cause hearing Sept. 20 in 9th Circuit Court, Merrimack District Division.

You’ll find the source, and a mug shot, here.

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So back in 1996, this couple in Arkansas set up a Trust. The beneficiaries were his 3 kids and her 3 nieces. Simple enough. Well, after Robert died, guess what Robena did? Kids? What kids? She amended the trust to exclude her deceased husband’s 3 kids, effectively disinheriting them. Surely they did not intend for something like this to be done when they set this thing up … or did they? Here’s the operative provision of the Trust document:

14. REVOCABILITY: The Donors, Robert F. Blann and Robena P. Blann, may, by signed instruments delivered to the Trustee during the Donors’ life: . . . (3) change the beneficiaries, their respective shares and the plan of distribution. . . .

It seems pretty clear to The Juice, as it did to the kids too, who went to court to have this amendment tossed. So what did the court say?

The judge said the language was ambiguous [wrong!] but ended up tossing the amendment on the grounds that, when they set the Trust up, Robert and Robena intended for changes in beneficiaries to be made by both parties.

Of course that’s what they intended! That’s what it says! “Donors’ life” means BOTH of them. So when the nieces appealed (like you didn’t see that coming), what do you think the Arkansas Court of Appeals said? Not surprisingly, they agreed with The Juice completely, finding that the Trust is not ambiguous at all, and telling the nieces to pound sand. Too bad they’ll still share in the Trust proceeds, albeit in smaller shares.

You can read the full opinion (Hartsfield, et al. v. Blann, et al.) here.

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Anyone over the age of, oh, maybe 6, knows that sometimes kids say things that aren’t true for a variety of reasons. A Kansas City mom took her 6-year-old son at his word, and she ran with it. The Juice is here to tell you, that was a HUGE mistake. As reported by KCTV:

An angry mother confronted her son’s teacher and hit her in the face, jerked her hair and rammed her head against a file cabinet, according to a Kansas City Police Department report.

Bam! That teacher must have done something really awful to the boy right? Here’s how it started.

The teacher told police that Baker entered her classroom “and wanted to talk to her about what her son stated (the teacher) did to him in class earlier today.”

The teacher said if she wanted to speak with her and the principal that she would need to return on Friday. She said the woman was demanding and headed to the principal’s office where she reportedly created the scene before returning to the teacher’s class. The woman said she was upset over something that the teacher had done to her son earlier in the day.

Uh-oh.

“You better not touch my kid again,” Baker yelled to the teacher, according to the police report. The mother was reportedly upset about a scratch on her 6-year-old son’s neck that she claimed the teacher inflicted. The child had been disciplined earlier in the day.

So what did mom do?

The woman ran behind the teacher’s desk and “struck her in the face with an open fist 5 to 10 times as she held” the teacher’s arm down to her side, the report says. She then grabbed the teacher “by her hair and picked her up out of the chair and struck her head against a file cabinet two times.” She then fled from the classroom.

Shazam! Oh, and about that scratch …

District officials said Friday night that the boy’s father brought the boy to school Friday, and that the boy recanted his story. The district said the boy admitted the teacher had not hurt or scratched him.

Um. Er. Uh. Well … sorry? My bad? Ms. Baker is in a lot of trouble. You can read more (a little) and see the news story here.

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What exactly is HRUI? You have to ask? It’s horseback riding under the influence. The Juice has blogged daily for 6.5 years, and he hasn’t come across a similar case. Driving a motorized barstool under the influence? Yup. Driving riding mowers under the influence? Many times. Anyway, as reported by 9news.com (Denver, Colorado):

Patrick Schumacher is facing charges of riding a horse while under the influence of alcohol after witnesses saw the rider and horse occasional wandering into traffic on Broadway near the school Monday afternoon [in Boulder]. 



Officers observed that Schumacher was slumped to his right side as he crossed streets and forced pedestrians off the sidewalk. Police pulled the horse over, and Schumacher was arrested on suspicion of riding under the influence after he was given a sobriety test.



How do you pull a horse over? But wait, it gets a little stranger still.

Police say Schumacher had a small dog in his backpack and beer in one of his saddlebags. The horse and the dog have been impounded.

 Schumacher is also facing a misdemeanor animal cruelty charge as well as prohibited use of weapons and a reckless endangerment charge.



Wow. Lots of charges. In case you’re wondering where he was going with his dog and his beer …

Schumacher told officers that he was traveling from Larkspur to Bryce, Utah (a 600-mile journey by car) on his horse in an effort to attend his brother’s wedding. 

Schumacher said he previously lost his driver’s license, so he decided to ride his horse to Utah.

Brilliant! You’ll find the source here.

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Having rented a house during college, I wouldn’t have rented me a nice house. (The Juice’s house has since been torn down, probably after being condemned.) Still, there are certain minimum requirements that must be met, even for college students. Don’t tell that to this landlord. As reported by the Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 09/05/2013 at 4:00pm the Colorado College SRO [School Resource Officer] was at 724 N. Nevada Ave to conduct a CPTED (Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design) assessment. As the SRO was conducting the assessment, it was discovered that the student renters did not have properly working plumbing.

Uh-oh.

When the renters flushed the toilet, the water leaked out of the pipes and ran down the walls into the basement. The water was ran over exposed wires in the basement.

Yeah, that water from the toilet was not just “water.”

To fix the problem the landlord put a large trash can in the basement to catch the water. The renters now have a 40 gallon trash can in the basement full of raw sewage.

Ewww!

There was also mold growing throughout the basement and the bathrooms in the house.

Really? Never would have guessed that.

To fix the mold in the bathroom the landlord had painted over the black mold, but it came through the paint.

Got a problem? Paint it black.

The renters contacted the landlord, but he has not fixed the problems. They have been forced to go to neighbors for fresh water and to use the bathroom. The case has been turned over to CSPD Code Enforcement.

Not cool, dude. Not cool at all.

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Me? Urinating in public? Well I never! Okay, maybe just this once … or, maybe not. As reported by The Iowa City Press-Citizen:

An Iowa City Man was arrested for public intoxication at 10:40 p.m. Sunday after telling police the yellow liquid flowing through a handrail on steps leading to an apartment building was beer.

Told you it was novel, but …

… police say they saw the man urinate, pull up his shorts and no beer cans or bottles were located near him, according to a criminal complaint.

A post-arrest breath test showed Connor Thomas Glascott, 19, of 1956A Broadway St., had a blood-alcohol content of .249, according to police.

Yikes. That’s three times the legal limit in many states.

“The urine was seen flowing through the handrail. The defendant stated he was pouring out a beer,” the criminal complaint states. “There was no open beer can/bottle in the area the defendant was standing.”

Click here for the source.

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That Chinese cooking oil you brought is probably fine. It’s probably not the product of a certain illegal operation, as reported by chinadaily.com:

Chinese police have arrested 32 suspects for producing and selling illegal cooking oil in a cross-province crackdown, the Ministry of Public Security said in a statement Tuesday.

Why is it gross? Well …

More than 100 tonnes of such oil, made from leftovers dredged from gutters behind restaurants, were seized after busting a criminal network spanning 14 provinces, the ministry said.

Tasty!

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True, it was a really, really small gun. (Yes, the gun in the above video works, as you’ll see if you watch it.) But when you’re trying to board a plane, size doesn’t matter as this gent found out. As reported by wmbf.com:

Officers with the Transportation Security Administration found a loaded gun in a backpack at Myrtle Beach International Airport.

A 59-year-old Murrells Inlet man, David Joyner Kelly, was arrested and charged with carrying concealable weapons into certain restricted areas, a misdemeanor.

The gun was a 9mm, loaded with two bullets. It was found in the backpack of the passenger at the security checkpoint on Wednesday, Sept. 4.

Maybe it’s a misdemeanor because of the size of the gun? To see the gun, and the perp, click here.

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Over the years, The Juice has had many personal injury cases where folks have attempted to avoid service of process. Guess how many of them were eventually served? 99+% of them! Here’s a story of a man who really did not want to be served, as reported by Ocala.com:

The victim [process server] told authorities he went to the Southwest Ocala home early in the day but was told by a woman that her father was not there and that he should come back after 6 p.m.

Not uncommon, but …

The man said he returned to the home and got out of his vehicle and was approached by several dogs, which were aggressive. He said he was afraid of being bitten so he used pepper spray to stop the dogs from attacking him.

Whew. But that was just the first line of defense.

Then, he said, a man standing by the front window watching him came out of the home with a black semi-automatic weapon and fired a shot over his head.

The official said he first hid behind his car, then got in the vehicle and drove away and called law enforcement.

So much for not shooting the messenger.

Deputies arrived and detained David W. Fisher, 57. He told them he deliberately let his dogs outside because they are trained guard dogs and he knew the court official would be back to serve him paperwork. Fisher was charged with aggravated assault and threatening a public official.

You’ll find the source here.

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If you’re thinking “gifts” you would be wrong. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News (which The Juice somehow missed before):

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Oh no you didn’t.

She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.

Nasty.

The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.

The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery.

Here’s the source.