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Who would go to a restaurant if they suspected the food might be tampered with? Well, there’s at least one woman who appears to fall into this category. As reported at highlinetimes.com (Washington State) in the police blotter:

A Burien woman dining at the Tung Kee Mi Gia Chinese restaurant that opened in north Burien in late 2013 called the police after she suspected cooks of serving her urine with her meal on the evening of March 17th. The victim insisted that police come to the restaurant on the corner of 16th Avenue S.W. and 112th Street to investigate the suspicious sauce she had been served. Upon arriving on the scene, police quickly discovered that what the victim believed to be a small cup of urine, was actually a small cup of fish oil. Despite having no evidence to substantiate her urine claims, the woman insisted the fish oil be tested. Police report zero urine findings.

With no evidence, The Juice is left wondering why the police wasted their time.  Actually, it was probably a good investment – so she wouldn’t continue to hassle everyone about it forever. Hey lady, fuhgeddaboutit! And next time, ask them to hold the fish oil.

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It’s unclear if this guy is a member of the first group of folks. He’s definitely someone who sucks at Walmart. As reported by The Independent Tribune (Concord, North Carolina):

Michael Anthony Brown, of 207 Lincoln St. SW, Concord, was arrested and charged with assault on a female in March after police say he approached a woman in a Lincolnton Walmart, told her he was a podiatry student and sucked on her toes.

Very credible story. Can you believe she didn’t buy it? He has tried less subtle approaches.

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To look at this 79-year-old gentleman, you wouldn’t think that he’s capable of what he’s been charged with. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

According to an arrest report, the alleged victim was pulling out of his driveway in the 9800 block of Fairmount Road, just west of Old Bardstown Road, when James W. Handy [age 79] threw coffee on him through his open car window.

Not cool. But wait.

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The Juice enjoys skiing, but this is just nuts. A Colorado woman tried to pass herself off as her boyfriend so that she could use his ski pass! From The Aspen Times:

The trouble started when a woman was caught trying to use a man named Daniel’s ski pass at Keystone Resort. When asked for a date of birth, she complied but “was slow to recall it” according to a report from the Summit County Sheriff’s Office.

The woman claimed to be in the middle of a sex change and couldn’t provide any personal information beyond the birthday and middle name.

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Warning: this is truly disgusting. If you try and think of a product you could buy at CVS, and then return, that would be really, really disgusting, you would NOT think of this. As reported by the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office:

Investigation revealed the individual was frequenting the CVS since March 2012 and began returning the product in April 2012. He would purchase a pack of enemas and return them at a later time. According CVS personnel, the items appeared to be unused and therefore the store would put the box of enemas back on the shelf for resale.

Enemas! Back on the shelf! “Appeared” to be unused …

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It’s time for the Chilean lawmakers to do some housecleaning. As reported by ilovechile.cl:

A recent study by the School of Law of the Universidad Bernardo O’Higgins (UBO), listed several situations sanctioned by the Chilean Criminal Code which may appear a bit… outdated by today’s standards.

Like what?

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Of course it’s believable that a car being chased by one police car escaped, right? Absolutely. What about two? Three? Keep going. As reported by The Hamilton Spectator:

Two video game thieves in a stolen car evaded a helicopter and officers from five police services in an incredible 90-kilometre [55.9 mile] chase from north Toronto to downtown Hamilton.

That’s five police services and a helicopter! And check this out.

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The answer to that question is “it depends.” It depends on state law. It also gets complicated when several states are involved. You’re not going to believe how many convictions it took to get this guy off the road. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

A Tennessee man was found guilty Wednesday of his 13th DUI and will now have his license permanently revoked.

13!

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Is it really fair to sentence someone to four years in prison for stealing underwear? Before you answer that, you might want to ask “how many times?” and “from where?” As reported by the Winnipeg Free Press:

James Duerksen spent more than two decades invading the privacy of unsuspecting female victims and satisfying his sexual fetishes. Now the convicted serial lingerie thief is headed to prison after the Manitoba Court of Appeal overturned a conditional sentence that allowed him to remain free in the community.

Duerksen, 40, learned this week the high court has imposed a four-year sentence for crimes they call “strange and disconcerting.” Duerksen, a married father of two, pleaded guilty last year to 92 charges of break, enter and theft that occurred over a 21-year period in Manitoba and Alberta.

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So maybe you’re sitting up above the rest of the folks in the courtroom. But this stuff? Uh-uh. Nope. Fuhgeddaboutit. It’s totally unacceptable. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

“It was horrible,” Houston attorney Wesley Clements said about the alleged behavior of District Judge Lonnie Cox. “When he started yelling like that at the top of his lungs, it got my attention.”

The allegations are in a motion filed by Clements asking that Cox remove himself from a plea hearing in the probation violation case of Maricelda Marie Aguilar, 22, of Alvin.

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