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It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)

According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone — worth $649 — from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.

But it didn’t quite work out as he planned.

How could this ingenious plan have failed?

“UPS did a random audit today, and as employees were leaving, they made them take their shoes off,” the arrest report states.

Random my arse.

Police say that, when Brooks took his boots off, the iPhone fell out.

Brooks allegedly admitted to stealing the iPhone and gave a written statement. He was arrested and charged with theft.

Given the available choices: (1) What? How’d that get in there? (2) No hablo Ingles. (3) I was just checking to make sure the facility is secure. (4) Okay, you got me… – It’s hard to give the guy too much credit for fessin’ up. Here’s the source.

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So you didn’t hear about the sale at Macy’s where, for a very limited time, everything was $5? Well, there is a catch. There’s always a catch. As reported by wpbf.com:

Vasthi Marseille and Marline Santelus were arrested Thursday on charges of grand theft and organized scheme to defraud.

Wait. You’re arresting them for buying things on sale?

Police said the women [Macy’s employees] selected almost $1,000 worth of merchandise that they manually marked down to $5 apiece while working at the Macy’s in the Town Center at Boca Raton.

Yeah. Who would ever figure that out? It’s not like it would be in the computer or anything. The back story of this brilliant crime is truly fascinating:

According to the arrest report, Marseille said she knew of another sales associate “who had done unauthorized price adjustments for other employees in the past,” so she figured “why not?”

Or not. Here’s the source.

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Although countless acres of pot are growing throughout the world, it is unlikely many of them are in the garden of a convent. There is (or was) one such acre in the garden of a convent in Uganda, as reported by the BBC:

A regional police chief told the BBC that plants covering one acre had been found and uprooted in the southern Masaka district. Two nuns and two porters have been questioned.

One of the nuns has been quoted by local media as saying the marijuana was used to treat farm animals, such as pigs.

Really? Did she say that with a straight face? Was it before or after she asked if anyone had any food because she was really, really hungry?

Southern regional commander Emmanuel Muhuirwe told the BBC News website that only the porters had been arrested – not the nuns.

He said the nuns had been questioned because the garden was part of the convent. But he said no-one had been charged yet and the porters have been released on bail.

Here’s the source.

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Why shouldn’t you mess with the the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection? Here’s why: They “fined a Marshall Township man more than $100,000 for destroying two acres of wetlands to build a recreational pond.” As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The DEP announced Wednesday that Francois Bitz, 52, of 1640 Pleasant Hill Road has agreed to pay a $137,800 fine as part of a consent order for violating the state’s Clean Streams Law and the Dam Safety and Encroachments Act.

Bitz also will pay recovery costs and oversight fees to the DEP and the Allegheny County Conservation District, the state agency release said.

From 2009 to 2010, without necessary permits, Bitz excavated approximately 2 acres of wetland and impacted about 1,100 feet of stream while constructing a pond on his property, the DEP release said.

Good thing he only coveted a 2-acre pond.

The DEP said it issued two compliance orders to Bitz in July 2010 after inspections revealed he had excavated portions of a stream channel of an unnamed tributary to Big Sewickley Creek, which is classified as a trout-stocked fishery. The agency said Bitz also disturbed significant portions of earth in the surrounding wetlands without developing an erosion and sediment control plan, which could lead to pollution in the stream.

Dude.

The agreement stipulates that the restoration of the property must begin within two months and be completed within six months of the permit being issued, the release said.

Fortunately for all parties concerned, it looks like Mr. Bitz can well afford to repair the damage.

In 1990, Bitz and three colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University co-founded Fore Systems, a Marshall-based technology company that had its first major success when it landed a contract to develop computer network switches for the Navy in 1991.

 

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It can’t be said with certainty what this woman was up to, but it’s gotta be “probably plus.” As reported by brooklynpaper.com, from the 76th Precinct (Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook):

Cops cuffed a woman who they say was sleeping in an apartment building stairway with a knife, pills, and some tools on her person on Bond Street on Dec. 3. Officers stated they found the 47-year-old woman passed out on the staircase in the complex near and Hoyt Street at 5:25 am.

When she awoke, they noticed that she had a knife on her belt and a few loose pills out in the open, cops said. Further inspection revealed a pry bar and wire cutters, according to a police report.

Hmm. A pry bar. Wire cutters …

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It was an easy day at the office for the police officers assigned to this caper. As reported by The Daily Mail:

It was an early festive gift for John Dacre who had called in ‘special branch’ after the [Christmas] trees and dozens of holly wreaths and festive decorations went missing from his nursery in Spenborough, West Yorkshire.

The thieves had even stolen two of his trollies to cart off their loot.

You were given a hint as to how they were caught…

… once Mr Dacre had spotted the incriminating pine needles on the ground the police were soon on the case.

Together they followed the trail along the Spen Valley Ringway and across fields, stopping at a house in Firthcliffe where the officers found the trees [dumped in a garden].

Ironically, the stolen trees were “supposed to be “low needle drop” trees which don’t shed so easily.” Mr. Dacre was clearly thrilled with the outcome.

‘The police were absolutely brilliant. We walked together following this trail through the pouring rain and I joked to them that all we needed was a big magnifying glass and then we’d be real supersleuths!’

The thieves, not so much. See, the police didn’t just find the stolen items at the house.

‘As an extra present, officers also found a cannabis farm at the address.’

Hmm. Perhaps the owners sampled the crop earlier that day? Here’s the source.

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It’s hard to make the “Wet Bandits” look good, but these gents have done it. How? By leaving their DNA at every crime scene. Brilliant! As found in The Star Online (Malaysia):

A gang of thieves in Ipoh is leaving “a souvenir” behind everytime they rob a house.

The police are trying to track down the group which urinates and defecates in the living room of each house they rob.

The group, dubbed as the geng tahi or “faeces gang”, is believed to be practising black magic to put a “spell” on the home owners.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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Over the years, we’ve all seen tons of different kinds of Christmas displays. But you probably haven’t see anything like this. As reported by wistv.com:

Residents in a Florida neighborhood are doing double takes when passing a rather bizarre holiday display.

The Palm Beach County homeowner made an image of reindeer made out of Christmas lights hanging upside down.

When the lights are on, the display simulates blood coming out of the reindeer’s mouth.

There’s even a sign posted that that says “Venison, it’s what’s for dinner.”

So maybe, when you’re driving around with your kids looking at lights, you skip this block.

Some neighbors find it repulsive, others don’t seem bothered.

“I find it a little offensive,” said Linda Vannatta. “I think Christmas as being the time for joy. Hunting, I know, is a part of life. People do it and have always done it. But it doesn’t seem like a Christmas thing to me.”

What about the law? You probably know the answer to this already.

City officials were contacted but they said their hands are tied.

 

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Not only did this gent have an interesting method of shoplifting shoes, but he took orders by text! As reported by www.fox41.com:

An arrest report for 36-year-old Sean A. Harrington lists him as “not employed,” but some may say that’s debatable after reading the description of his alleged crimes. Police say he was caught stealing merchandise from Rack Room Shoes on S. Hurstbourne Pkwy., near Six Mile Lane, on Friday afternoon. According to the report, Harrington was allegedly, “concealing shoes down the front of his pants” and left the store without paying.

That can’t be too comfortable …

From there, he allegedly proceeded to a Marshalls clothing store, and allegedly stole clothing valued at $99.95.

Police eventually caught up with Harrington and arrested him.

Let’s go to the videotape …

When a security at Rack Room Shoes reviewed their surveillance records, they discovered that Harrington had stolen a total of $539.89 worth of goods from their store between April 17 and May 20.

And how did the police figure out he was taking orders? Easily.

Upon Harrington’s arrest, police were able to examine his cell phone — and they made a significant discovery. The arrest report states that the phone, “had numerous text messages of others ordering merchandise from [Harrington], who would then go out and steal specific items.”

Doh!

He was charged with receipt of stolen property and theft by unlawful taking.

Here’s the source.

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Back in the time before there were CDs and DVDs, there was videotape. There was also a sportscaster named Warner Wolf whose catch phrase was “Let’s go to the videotape.” Well, if they do that here, this gent’s chances aren’t looking too good. As reported by tcpalm.com:

A corrections deputy charged with misdemeanor battery on an Indian River County Jail inmate has been fired, but he’s seeking his job back, officials at the Sheriff’s Office said.

Mario Pratt was placed on administrative leave Nov. 21 when he was charged with pepper spraying an inmate without justification. After a review by the internal affairs department, the Sheriff’s Office fired Pratt on Dec. 11.

Pratt filed a career services appeal Wednesday, which means his case will be reviewed by a board of deputies at a hearing. That hearing has yet to be scheduled.

So what happened?

The pepper spray incident happened on Oct. 28. Pratt is accused of spraying inmate Michael Dudley Palmer, 21, who was held on drug and theft offenses.

Pratt said the spraying was accidental and happened when he was putting the spray can back in a belt holder, according to a report. He described the discharge as a small amount that didn’t effect Palmer.

And there you were, jumping to all those conclusions when there is a perfectly innocent … wait, there’s some late-breaking news on this story. This just in:

Sheriff’s officials, however, reviewed surveillance video and said they saw the inmate grabbing his face “and staggering away from the area as if exposed to the pepper spray.”

The video also showed Pratt taking out the pepper spray, extending his arm “in a manner consistent with the deploying of the chemical agent, and pointed it toward the area where” the inmate was standing, the report states.

Hmm. Let’s not go to the videotape? You’ll find the source here.