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It was good of this niece to look after her sickly aunt. Or was it? Her motives are certainly in question now, since her aunt died over 2 years ago and, as reported by TheSpec.com (Hamilton, Ontario) …

Police are searching for the body of a Hamilton woman they allege was illegally disposed of by her niece more than two years ago in order to keep cashing disability cheques.

A police media release initially stated the 62-year-old woman died of natural causes in 2009, but case manager Detective Sergeant Matt Kavanagh clarified Friday afternoon that her remains have yet to be recovered.

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As a personal injury lawyer himself, The Juice has heard many stories about behavior before, during and after car accidents.

This one, though, takes the cake. As reported by The Union Leader (New Hampshire):

Jared D. Hooper, 21, of 26 Partridge Lane, was arrested after police responded to the area of Garden and Westville roads around 6:30 p.m. to investigate the accident involving Hooper and another vehicle.

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Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent’s very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

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This is not a question a court security officer should be asking. But hey, what are you supposed to do with that thing when you go to the restroom? Clearly, not this. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

According to New Hampshire State Police, officers from Troop D responded to Concord District Court at 1:30 p.m. Friday to investigate a report that a court security officer had a sidearm that was unaccounted for.

Uh-oh.

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If you’re going to commit fraud, at least be creative or clever. You know, something that would make a good movie. But nooooooo, you had to go and commit this super-simple, guaranteed-to- be-caught fraud. As seen in The New Hampshire Union Leader:

State Police were called to a single-car collision at 10 p.m. Aug. 15, 2011, at which St. Laurent had collided with a jersey barrier near Exit 3 on Daniel Webster Highway in Nashua.

At 11:24 p.m. that night, Progressive Northern Insurance Co. initiated a policy for St. Laurent by telephone, authorities said. The next day, St. Laurent told Progressive he had been in a car accident at 1 a.m. on Aug. 16, 2011, and filed a claim in excess of $1,000 in damages.

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There’s something to be said for doing things the old-fashioned way. For example, when you steal stuff, visit your local fence. Maybe it’ll decrease your profit margin, but you get one-stop shopping, and you know who you’re doing business with. This gent went new-school with Craigslist. Like many thieves before him, things didn’t work out too well. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

A Louisville man has been arrested for selling stolen goods on Craigslist.

Police say Blain Morgan used the popular classifieds website to buy and sell stolen property worth over $10,000. Officers caught up with him after he allegedly listed a stolen computer and printer on the site. According to police, those items were stolen during a business burglary.

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Yes, you can get busted for walking down the street with a Bible. And yes, of course there is more to the story. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

The Bradenton Police Department detained a naked man after he was spotted walking in the 1100 block of Martin Luther King Avenue West at 12:09 a.m. Sunday, according to a report.

Details, details. So the guy was nude. People are too uptight.

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The Juice’s middle school teachers were so boring. Such was not the case for a Houston middle schooler. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

A 42-year-old Aldine middle school teacher who allegedly performed a lap dance for a student on his birthday has been charged with a felony.

Felicia A. Smith, of Spring, is charged with improper relationship with a student, according to a criminal compliant filed in the case.

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To those of you who have a problem with the phenomenon of bikini-clad baristas, this post almost certainly won’t do anything to change your opinion. But if you’re a fan, you can put this arrow in your quiver. Why? Because if this “Sweet Cheeks” barista hadn’t been so concerned about her appearance, her appearance would have been drastically altered. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington) Police Blotter:

One person was slightly injured when a minivan crashed into a bikini espresso stand near S. 262nd St. and Pacific Highway. Police at the scene say that the minivan went off the highway and crashed head-on into the drive-thru window at Sweet Cheeks Espresso. The driver was slightly hurt in the crash.

According to crews at the scene, the barista who would have been standing at the window was unhurt, as she was actually touching up her make-up in another room when the minivan hit.

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Are you insinuating, sir, that I am not gainfully employed? Well, let me tell you something … Per wfmj.com:

School authorities report to police that the fifteen year old boy was caught in the school with five packages of pot on Tuesday. The assistant principal told officers that the boy confessed that he intended to sell the marijuana to another student.

Uh-oh.