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It would appear that Mr. Octavian Borges is Taserproof. Check this out, from The Courier Mail:

A North Queensland man, aged 21, has stunned police by proving impervious to a Taser deployment and casually removing the barbs – not once but three times.

Octavian Borges casually removed the barbs fired into his upper body by police during a tense situation at Townsville on Monday.

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This has to be one of the worst attempted burglaries of all time. It’s kind of like three guys running from their own shadows.  As reported by khou.com:

The suspects were among three men who walked into a Katz’s Boutique in the 9800 block of the North Freeway on April 13. It was around 3 a.m. and surveillance cameras were rolling.

Police say two of the men had weapons. The suspect with the revolver apparently bumped into the suspect with the rifle, causing the rifle to discharge. “Which then spooked both the suspects,” Officer Brieden said.

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Dude, on your best day, you’re not smarter than the cops. You should have just fessed up to it. But no, you hatched this “brilliant” plan to get out of the jam you created. As reported by highlinetimes.com (Burien, Washington):

The King County Sheriff’s Department is reporting that a man in northeast Burien was formally charged with a hit and run after he reported his late model Honda stolen. The incident took place in the early morning hours of April 7 when the suspect was driving near the intersection of Military Road South and South 120th Street. Witnesses told police that they saw the suspect in his Honda driving along South 120th Street when he drove off the road and hit a tree before ultimately lodging his car into a fence. The suspect was then said to have fled the scene or the accident on foot. Shortly after the wreck, the suspect called the police and reported that his vehicle had been stolen. When police investigated the auto theft, they determined that the owner of the vehicle was the very same driver to have driven the car off the road. The suspect was formally charged with a hit and run. Police did not release information about whether alcohol was involved in this accident or not.

It probably went something like this: Police: “So, where were you last night?” Dude: “Okay! I give up! The car wasn’t stolen. Man you guys are good. Just like on TV!”

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One of the first things all car dealers should cover when training salesmen is … how to protect the cars they are selling. If this was covered, this newb must have skipped that day, or nodded off. Yeah, sure, hindsight is 20/20. But that doesn’t rule out foresight … As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

“He came in at approximately about 9:30 this morning,” says Perry Luttrell, G. M. Bardstown 44 Auto Mart. Luttrell says they had no idea Ronny Stutes was on the run. He says Stutes was “Very smooth…had all of his i’s dotted and t’s crossed.”

Smooth? You can judge for yourself.

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On your birthday, you get a little leeway. A little.  As reported by wlsam.com:

Will County Sheriff’s deputies were called to Precise Stone in the 14000 block of West Illinois Highway on April 30 when the owner reported a former employee trying to steal property.

Uh-oh.

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If you’re a dog person, and your dog is sick, you’re going to be upset. But what if the vet tells you that your dog is fine? This story from The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario) illustrates that sometimes, hell oftentimes, things don’t make sense.

Police say the two downtown Hamilton residents took their dog to the vet’s office on Highway 8 in Greensville just after 6 p.m. and – although he and his assistant were closing up and leaving for the night – the vet agreed to open up and examine a growth on the dog’s body.

No good deed goes unpunished …

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It was good of this niece to look after her sickly aunt. Or was it? Her motives are certainly in question now, since her aunt died over 2 years ago and, as reported by TheSpec.com (Hamilton, Ontario) …

Police are searching for the body of a Hamilton woman they allege was illegally disposed of by her niece more than two years ago in order to keep cashing disability cheques.

A police media release initially stated the 62-year-old woman died of natural causes in 2009, but case manager Detective Sergeant Matt Kavanagh clarified Friday afternoon that her remains have yet to be recovered.

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As a personal injury lawyer himself, The Juice has heard many stories about behavior before, during and after car accidents.

This one, though, takes the cake. As reported by The Union Leader (New Hampshire):

Jared D. Hooper, 21, of 26 Partridge Lane, was arrested after police responded to the area of Garden and Westville roads around 6:30 p.m. to investigate the accident involving Hooper and another vehicle.

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Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent’s very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

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This is not a question a court security officer should be asking. But hey, what are you supposed to do with that thing when you go to the restroom? Clearly, not this. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

According to New Hampshire State Police, officers from Troop D responded to Concord District Court at 1:30 p.m. Friday to investigate a report that a court security officer had a sidearm that was unaccounted for.

Uh-oh.