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No, The Juice is not referring to Mayor Rob Ford.  There’s a very reasonable explanation as to why this Mayor is legally prohibited from drinking. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

Kelvin Green, 18, will soon become the mayor of Archer City, Texas.

No one filed to run for the city’s open mayoral position, so he ran unopposed. He’ll be the town’s youngest mayor since it was founded in 1888. His friends and teachers say they’re not surprised he volunteered, and he’ll be perfect for the job.

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You probably guessed that this did not happen in the United States. It happened in Kuwait, as reported by the Arab Times.

Some 45 youths were arrested by security operatives for loitering at the commercial complexes in Jahra governorate. The campaign, which was conducted upon the directives of Jahra Security Chief Major General Ibrahim Al-Tarrah, resulted in the arrest of three juvenile for throwing stones at the lamp posts, with five other individuals involved in criminal and civil offenses. All suspects were referred to the concerned authorities.

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In what is clearly a cautionary tale for fisherman, especially those anywhere close to Kuwaiti waters, comes this report from The Arab Times:

An unidentified Iraqi fisherman who was arrested by the Kuwaiti authorities on suspicion after he was caught inside Kuwait’s territorial waters has been released after two years in police custody, reports Al-Shahed daily.
Director of the Sindabad Fishermen Society which is based in Fao, Badran Essa, said the fisherman was handed over to the Iraqi authorities at the Safwan border post.

Um, sorry about that. Just had to check out your story … Not cool at all, Kuwaiti authorities.

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When you’re naked, you are extremely vulnerable.  Clearly you’re even more vulnerable when you are in the shower.  A Houston woman was in just such a position when she heard a sound. Uh-oh. Per khou.com:

“I was showering and I heard banging and it sounded like construction being done on the house,” she explained. “I seen a guy punching with a glove and another guy was kicking at the same time. Immediately I knew what they were gonna do and my first reaction was find safety.”

What she didn’t manage to find was a towel or clothing of any kind. She did locate her keys and cell phone and slithered naked to the garage.

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Most of us would like to be young again. Okay, so most of the old folks like The Juice would like to be young again. And many of us say that we act young and feel young, and that’s all that matters. Not to this Texas lady. She went back to relive it all. As reported by newschannel10.com:

Police say Charity Anne Johnson was arrested after giving officers a fake name and birthday going by “Charity Stevens.” This is also the same alias Johnson used to enroll at the high school.

A spokesperson for the school said Johnson was brought in to enroll with a person who she claimed was her guardian and gave a date of birth indicating she was only 15. Staff at the school discovered her identification was fake and not only that, but that she had been a student there since October 2013.

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Perhaps the thief was so excited about nearly completing his mission, that he forgot to steal the charger! As reported by The Daily Mail:

A gold-plated vibrator has been stolen from a luxury sex shop in Brazil after an armed raider stormed into the shop and demanded staff hand over the item.

Police say the man walked into the Brasilia store, tied up the sales assistant and then took the 18-carat gold sex toy from the display case. He left without taking anything else. The sex toy sells for $4,000, or £2,600.

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What kind of criminal would steal a tracking device? Perhaps one who doesn’t know anything about iPads? As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

Louisville Metro Police say they arrested a woman on Monday after she was caught with a stolen iPad.

You probably know how they caught her.

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There’s nothing funny about screwing with a cyclist, as this South Carolina man now knows. As a daily bicycle commuter on the streets of Washington, DC and Maryland, The Juice is pleasantly surprised that this crime is being pursued. Per wmbf.com (Myrtle Beach, South Carolina):

Conway Police responded to the Kangaroo Express on Church Street on the afternoon of Thursday, May 1, in reference to a report of a man with a gun in a red Jeep. The officer saw four people exit the store and walk toward the Jeep, the report states.

A man identified in the report as Charles Gore told the officer that he had been pointing a toy gun at the driver of Jeep as a joke. The officer found a black and green plastic toy gun inside the vehicle.

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This case certainly highlights how different cultures can be. As reported at arabtimesonline.com, in Kuwait City …

The Undersecretary of the Interior Ministry Lieutenant-General Suleiman Al-Fahd has ordered the detention of a police officer in the rank of Major for growing his beard without permission, reports Al-Rai daily quoting knowledgeable security sources. The source said Al-Fahd has also warned a lieutenant-colonel for the same reason and has issued strict instructions that disciplinary action will be taken against those who violate the laws especially if they grow beards more than 1.5 centimeters long.

Maybe he thought they wouldn’t notice? He measured wrong?