Squeezed on:

alligator

Many, many kids ignore it, but they know that when they put something on Facebook, it’s out there.  At least the kids have an excuse: they’re kids! But what about these gents? As reported by TCPalm.com

FWC [Fish and Wildlife Conservation] officers linked Darella and Roberts to the dead alligators by obtaining a search warrant to look at information they posted on Facebook, Johnson said. Officers found several photographs and posts connecting Darella and Roberts to taking alligators, hogs and other wildlife illegally.

Doh! You can read a lot more about this here.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

piranha
How much do you think a piranha is worth? More on that later. For now, you only need to know that, if you live in New York City, you can’t have a piranha.  But just because it’s illegal … As reported by nbcnewyork.com:

A New York City man is accused of smuggling nearly 40,000 piranhas into the U.S. by having them mislabeled as harmless aquarium fish, prosecutors said.

First reaction: run!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

chinese food asian

Who would go to a restaurant if they suspected the food might be tampered with? Well, there’s at least one woman who appears to fall into this category. As reported at highlinetimes.com (Washington State) in the police blotter:

A Burien woman dining at the Tung Kee Mi Gia Chinese restaurant that opened in north Burien in late 2013 called the police after she suspected cooks of serving her urine with her meal on the evening of March 17th. The victim insisted that police come to the restaurant on the corner of 16th Avenue S.W. and 112th Street to investigate the suspicious sauce she had been served. Upon arriving on the scene, police quickly discovered that what the victim believed to be a small cup of urine, was actually a small cup of fish oil. Despite having no evidence to substantiate her urine claims, the woman insisted the fish oil be tested. Police report zero urine findings.

With no evidence, The Juice is left wondering why the police wasted their time.  Actually, it was probably a good investment – so she wouldn’t continue to hassle everyone about it forever. Hey lady, fuhgeddaboutit! And next time, ask them to hold the fish oil.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

fish
Sure thing dude. My house is your house! No, the homeowner wouldn’t have said that, because she had no idea who the guy was! As reported by The Salina Journal (salina.com):

A burglar apparently got a case of the munchies after breaking into a house in the 700 block of North Seventh Street on Tuesday afternoon, and — possibly even more bizarre — he argued with the occupant and refused to leave once she returned home.

Capt. Mike Sweeney said Luella Garrett, 52, returned to her home about 3:10 p.m. to find a stranger sitting on her couch. She called 911 to report the incident, telling the dispatcher that the man refused to leave, Sweeney said.

Squeezed on:

gun handgun shot shooting
First this man gets shot just for going to church? (So he wasn’t exactly just “going to church.”) Then, he gets busted for being in a Burger King? (So it was a little after closing?) As reported by khou.com:

A man [who] was shot and wounded by a church pastor last week after allegedly breaking into a Baytown church is now accused of breaking into a Burger King.

Lee Marvin Blue, 27, was shot in the right shoulder and taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital. Police say that after his surgery, Blue walked out of the hospital.

Squeezed on:

police lights
What lengths would you go to in order to avoid a speeding ticket? Ladies, would you fire up the waterworks? Gents, would you throw yourself on the mercy of the officer? You won’t believe what this guy did. As reported by WFTV.com:

A man is accused of calling 911 to say that a murder was about to take place, but West Melbourne authorities said the caller was just trying to get out of a traffic stop.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Squeezed on:

percentage%20percent%20sign.jpg
Okay, so technically it was July 5th, but clearly the drunkeness of these folks relates back (legal term, sorry) to July 4th. It seemed plausible when The Juice recently read that there are A LOT of drunk drivers out on July 4th. Let’s hope that, percentage-wise, this case is not a good sample. As reported by wsbtv.com:

A crash involving seven cars shut down Interstate 75 southbound in Clayton County for six hours. The crash happened on I-75 near CW Grant Parkway around 3 a.m. Friday. Clayton County police said a pedestrian in the road was struck by a car, and there was a domino effect.

Yikes. So where does the drinking come in?

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

hardboiled egg
New Hampshire Federal Judge James R. Muirhead was not amused (okay, he was really amused) when prisoner Charles Wolff included a hard-boiled egg with his request for a better diet. Here is what the Judge had to say, in an Order issued about the filing of the egg:

No fan I am

Of the egg at hand.

Squeezed on:

pizza slice

Certainly domestic life often presents challenging situations. But this? As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):

Police responded to a North Seine Drive residence where a 
male and female
 were having an argument about how the pizza had been 
sliced.

Really?

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

child relaxing laying lying down
As a parent, you want to make sure your kids can handle themselves when they are on their own. This is not how you do it. As reported by swflcrimestoppers.org:

Southwest FloridaCrime Stoppers is asking for the public’s help identifying two women who utilized the innocence of several young children to commit a felony crime earlier this week.

According to deputies, two adult females, and five young children, entered the Gymboree store at 20350 Summerlin Road, Fort Myers, on Tuesday evening, July 23, to go shopping. When they approached the check out counter, another female was there speaking with one of the employees. When the suspect became engaged in that conversation, one of the children swiped the victims wallet, which was left on the counter. Once the stolen wallet was in hand, the troupe quickly exited the store and left in a white colored vehicle. The victim’s phone was also taken, but was found shortly thereafter along the roadside near Tanger Outlets.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated: