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sinking ship ships

You’ll probably conclude, as The Juice did, that had loose lips not solved this crime, these gents would have found some other way to make it easy for the cops to close the case. Per The Florida Times-Union:

Two Kings Bay sailors have been arrested in last month’s break-in at a Fernandina Beach art gallery after one was overheard bragging about how the artwork was hanging on his wall.

Doubly brilliant! He bragged about it, and he displayed it on his wall!

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court gavel
This is certainly not your average breach of contract case! As reported by The New Zealand Herald:

The man, who’s known as Mr N, hired a private investigator to track the sex worker down after he felt he hadn’t had his money’s worth, when his session with the woman ended prematurely.

A private investigator? And then he sued her!

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dog
That’s not a question this man will want to answer. Why? Because the answer is … dognapping. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A canine con man was busted Wednesday after trying to extort an $8,000 cash ransom from a North Naples woman in exchange for her two white 3-year-old Samoyeds, Ava and Snowdot, according to a news release from the Collier County Sheriff’s Office.

On Monday, a man, later identified as Dathan Charles Cyr, sent a text message to the woman asking her if she was still looking for her two lost dogs that had been missing since April 14th when they got lost, deputies said.

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police sign
Either this is not being taught at police academies, or lots of cadets are skipping class. Why? Because over and over, cops bust people for f-bombing. The Juice has blogged about this for years. The police are going to lose every time! As reported by The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

A man from the Washington County town of Houston who repeatedly swore in front of Canonsburg police, and was arrested and charged for it, sued today alleging that the borough maliciously prosecuted him and violated his constitutional rights, including the right to free speech.

And he’ll win. Here’s how it went down.

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Baseball
The urge to honk in certain situations is almost irresistible. This man will definitely resist the urge in the future. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper‘s police blotter for the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach):

The victim said he honked his horn at the pair while they were inside their vehicle ahead of him for not moving fast enough at 12:10 am. The pair got out, the woman carrying a Louisville Slugger, and the man holding a black firearm.

Um. Never mind?

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hiding
Clearly this was not the best hiding place. As reported by The Hunterdon Democrat (New Jersey):

Jennifer Keller, 19, of Gettysburg was a passenger in a car stopped on May 31 shortly before 2 a.m. on Route 523 by Sgt. Chris DeWire for alleged erratic driving.

The driver, a York, Pa. woman, told police that she wasn’t familiar with the area, and her GPS unit wasn’t working properly.

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bank building
If all bank robberies went down like this, the world would be a better place. Why would The Juice say this? Well, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

The incident happened at 11:33 a.m. Tuesday at TD Bank, 300 Franklin St., in downtown Manchester.

The teller told police the man came into the bank and demanded cash from her, but left before taking any. He did not threaten the teller and he did not have a gun or any other weapon, police said.

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lake
Granted at this point they didn’t have a lot of options.  But still, you really thought you’d get away from the cops by swimming across the lake? As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Jarrell Beckman, 32; Myron Davis, 31; Johnny Hughes, 22 and Christopher Watson were charged by Missouri authorities with burglary, narcotics trafficking and resisting arrest.

What did they do to warrant these charges?

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You want your kids to express themselves by drawing. Just not on your passport! As reported by metro.co.uk:

The [4-year-old] child got busy during a recent family trip to South Korea, where he took to the back page of his dad’s Chinese passport with a black pen and drew some really nice pictures of people, animals, and – obviously – added a bit more hair to his dad’s face. Classic.

The only problem is that now his dad is stuck in South Korea because of his unrecognisable documentation, and authorities have warned it is likely he won’t be able to travel home with his son, and the rest of his party.

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golf course
Of course you won’t be thrown in the clink for playing golf … unless … you’re on disability. Doh! The Juice despises fraud, and hence is not at all fond of this chap. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Judge Andrew Hamilton told Robert Cave he was an utter liar and cheat as he sentenced him at Nottingham Crown Court yesterday.

Not just a “liar and cheat,” but an utter liar and cheat. Nothing but love for the UK. About the “cheat” part: