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You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city’s insurance carrier…)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Brown cardboard box with a question mark.  Isolated on white.

Is it unreasonable to think that a thief would want to know what he is stealing? Not this guy. Apparently any old box will do. As reported by khou.com:

A Manvel homeowner’s security cameras helped lead police to the suspect accused of stealing a package from their front porch.

Manvel police arrested Matthew Holbert Friday and charged him with theft of property.

Police beileve he is the thief who stole the package minutes after it was delivered to the Royal Palms neighborhood.

The security cameras were rolling when the suspect drove up, walked toward the house and ran back to his car with the package.

Great plan! Follow the UPS truck and just pick up whatever is being delivered.  And wouldn’t you at least look for security cameras? It’s not like they’re that rare. Here’s the source, with photos of the perp in action.

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police department

If you want to get the police department’s attention, there are other ways. This way, though, will definitely work! As detailed in the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter:

On 01-09-14 at approximately 0756 hours, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the Brunswick Zone, 999 N Circle Drive regarding a robbery. The investigation revealed an unknown male entered the business and verbally threatened the victim to open the cash register. The victim was unable to comply compelling the suspect to leave the area. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid- 30s, approximately 5’7 with a thin build, short blonde hair with a goatee, wearing a large black jacket and jeans. The investigation is continuing.

He got away! Or … did he?

***UPDATE***
On 01/10/2014 at approximately 12:51am, the Colorado Springs Police Department received a call from the pay phone at the 7-11 at 995 N. Circle Drive. The caller, later identified as 36 year old Paul Harrill, advised that he was upset that police had not come when he had attempted to rob the Brunswick Bowl earlier. Officers responded to the scene and located Harrill a short distance away from the 7-11. The investigation revealed that Harrill was upset with police officers and firefighters over a disturbance that he had been involved with on the evening of 01/09/2014. So a couple of hours later, he had called the police from the 7-11 pay phone complaining about the contact. When officers did not come to talk to him as soon as he wanted, Harrill went and attempted to rob the Brunswick bowl to get officers attention. When officers did not locate him after the attempted robbery, he was even more upset so he called back again on the morning of 01/10/2014. Harrill was booked into the El Paso County Criminal Justice Center on the charge of Attempted Robbery.

Think he’s satisfied with the police response now?

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facebook

Many, many kids ignore it, but they know that when they put something on Facebook, it’s out there.  At least the kids have an excuse: they’re kids! But what about these gents? As reported by TCPalm.com

FWC [Fish and Wildlife Conservation] officers linked Darella and Roberts to the dead alligators by obtaining a search warrant to look at information they posted on Facebook, Johnson said. Officers found several photographs and posts connecting Darella and Roberts to taking alligators, hogs and other wildlife illegally.

Doh! You can read a lot more about this here.

 

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 texting and driving

Anybody with half a brain knows how stupid it is to text and drive. It’s also illegal in many states. Still, people continue to do it alarmingly often. As reported by www.news965.com:

A 23-year-old driver in Fort Myers, Fla., admits he was texting while driving when he was caught on video rolling his car after hitting a power pole and a tree.

Driver Michael Woody climbed out of the car safely following the crash and told responding officers that his only impairment was his cell phone … he was texting while driving, something that is now illegal in Florida.

You can see the dashboard video by clicking here.

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swiss cheese

The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

According to the group, the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

All together now: Ewwwwww!

“I understand that people may think this is funny, but this is no laughing matter,” said Milt Martelack, the town watch’s senior adviser. “We’ve had a couple individuals reach out to us. We’re taking this matter very seriously, and we’re working vigorously with police to get this guy off the streets.”

A police source yesterday confirmed that the Special Victims Unit is investigating the man after several women from the Mayfair area filed reports describing similar encounters with a man displaying what the source called a “major sexual cheese fetish.”

Hmmm. This sounds familiar …

And although news of the bizarre case shocked many Mayfair residents, Gabby Chest – who lives in nearby Bridesburg – recognized the behavioral pattern instantly.

In July 2012, Chest, then 19 and having just broken up with her boyfriend, created a profile on the dating website OkCupid.

Within days, she said, she was contacted by a “really strange guy,” who sent her a private message that detailed a very specific request.

“He said he was looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese,” Chest said. “He kept saying how strong his urges were and how desperate he was to find someone to help him with them.”

An excerpt from that message, which Chest sent the Daily News, details the origin of the man’s self-described “fetish.”

“I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more,” he wrote.

“That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”

It’s not surprising, then, that Chest recognized the man who had contacted her as the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” as soon as she saw his picture on the Mayfair Town Watch’s Facebook page.

“There’s no doubt it was him; it looked exactly like the picture on his profile,” she said. “I was scared and shocked. I never thought the guys you see on those sites would be so close to me.”

Yikes. You can read more here.  (The haven’t caught him yet.)

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pizza

Doesn’t everyone like pizza? Well …

A Central Texas man has been accused of stabbing his girlfriend after she brought home pizza instead of a chicken sandwich he wanted for lunch.

McLennan County jail records show Michael Corsey of Waco was being held Saturday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Online jail records do not list bond or an attorney for Corsey, who was arrested Friday.

Waco police say Corsey allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the woman because he had asked for a chicken sandwich, but she brought home pizza. Police say the victim was also choked and struck in the face.

Investigators say the woman, whose name wasn’t immediately released, was treated for minor injuries.

Ouch. You’ll find the source, on www.nbcdfw.com, here.

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As a regular bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to have to say this, but it’s not looking too good for this fellow cyclist. As reported by The Union Leader:

Police [in Somersworth, New Hampshire] arrested a Maine man riding a bicycle Friday in connection with a bank robbery across state lines.

Noooooo!

Scott Marshall, 46, of 132 Airport Road in Sanford, Maine, was charged with being a fugitive from justice after police noticed he matched the description of a man who robbed Kennebunk Savings Bank in Berwick, Maine.

And I suppose you have some evidence?

Officer Gary O’Brien, who responded to the reported robbery around 9:21 a.m., apprehended Marshall, who was riding the mountain bike on Market Street. Police found an undisclosed amount of cash and a bank bag, which led to the arrest, according to a release.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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divorce

You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you could, and people would say “no way would that ever happen.” As reported by The Independent:

A British woman attempted to sue her former lawyers for professional negligence, claiming that, alongside a number of other allegations, they failed to advise that finalising divorce proceedings would inevitably cause her marriage to end.

And you call yourselves lawyers!

The curious case – made against two solicitor firms – had already been rejected by the court, but was revealed in the transcript of a later appeal by the claimant against the dismissal of other aspects of her case.

Jane Mulcahy had argued that the lawyers should have made it clear that a divorce would cause her marriage to be terminated – something which she apparently wanted to avoid.

The lawyers failed to regard her Roman Catholic faith and should have recommended judicial separation – a step down from full divorce – as an alternative course of action, she said.

The allegation was revealed in a subsequent appeal court judgment last month, in which Lord Justice Briggs said: “The most striking of Mrs Mulcahy’s many allegations of negligence against her solicitors was that, having regard to her Roman Catholic faith, Mrs Boots had failed to give her the advice which was requisite in view of her firmly held belief in the sanctity of marriage…

“…either in terms of the alternative of judicial separation, or about the impossibility of pursuing divorce proceedings to a clean break settlement, without thereby inevitably bringing about the final termination of her marriage, which she wished to avoid.”

As you might have guessed …

The appeal was also dismissed.

Here’s the source.

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step out

People react in many different ways when they suspect their spouse is cheating. Some folks get sad, and some get mad. Here’s mad, via The Gainesville Sun:

Officials said Tara Johnson, 41, of 419 Squire Drive, and her husband have been married for about three years and living together for approximately five years. Johnson told deputies she drove to her husband’s workplace at Cox Communications on Northwest 43rd Street around 6:30 a.m. to question why he had not returned home, an Alachua County Sheriff’s Office report said.

Ms. Johnson thinks she knows why.

Johnson said she saw him get out of another car with a woman she recognized as his ex-girlfriend. Johnson told deputies she became angry and drove her car forward, blocking the exit of the ex-girlfriend to stop her from leaving, the report said.

Uh-oh.

Johnson and her husband soon began arguing, and then deputies said she drove her car forward and hit her husband, bumping him into the air. The man fell to the ground, and Johnson then retrieved a baseball bat from her car and began chasing him around the car with it, the report said.

After chasing her husband, Johnson got back into her car and drove away. Her husband suffered hip pain and was taken to UF Health Shands Hospital, Gainesville Police Department Officer Ben Tobias said.

Whew. That could have ended a lot worse. As for Ms. Johnson:

She later was arrested by deputies at her home, the report said… [and] … was charged with aggravated assault and aggravated battery.

You’ll find the source here, with a mug shot.

 

 

 

 

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