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A pack of cigarettes! She stole a pack of cigarettes! 22 years ago! People! Where is your sense of proportionality? As reported by wesh.com:

A mother of two sits in jail Monday unable to post bail after being put behind bars for the 1991 theft of a pack of cigarettes.

Jail? You couldn’t release her on her own recognizance for this?

“Back in 1991, I shoplifted cigarettes from Walmart,” Hall said.

So how’d they catch her now?

That 22-year-old crime followed her to Port Canaveral Thursday, where she was wrapping up a dream vacation with her husband and two kids.

The family had cruised aboard the Disney Dream, and authorities were waiting for her when they got back. “I was pulled to the side and told I had a warrant,” Hall said.

Authorities said Hall had failed to pay the $85 in court costs when she was 18; and when authorities checked the ship’s passenger list for terrorists, they found a warrant for Hall.

And to this even more ridiculous, check out the exemplary life Ms. Hall has led since her days as a career criminal …

Since the theft, she had put herself through college, receiving a degree in architecture, and now she helps design jet engines for Pratt & Whitney in Connecticut.

Clearly she’s a flight risk, right? What is wrong with these people? Here’s the official explanation:

The Brevard County Jail will not let her post bail because it’s an Orange County charge and she has to be transferred. However, because of the weekend and holiday, that might not be until Thursday.

That’s a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. The Juice is not pleased with this “case.” Here’s the source, including a video news story.

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If you thought The Juice was referring to an animal, you’re right – a homo sapien. In the future, this dude will likely walk around the lake to avoid a mother duck and her ducklings. As reported by khou.com:

[A Baytown mother] and her sons went into the CVS in the 1500 block of North Alexander Drive [in Houston, Texas] for about 10 minutes.

When they returned to their van and she began driving away, a man suddenly appeared from the back of the vehicle.

He pulled a knife and threatened to hurt one of the children, if the woman didn’t give him $200.

Son, you picked the wrong van.

The woman punched the suspect in the mouth and grabbed his knife. After a struggle, the thug jumped out of the vehicle.

Bam!

The woman tried to drive away, but the suspect ran toward her van and she struck him with it.

Ouch.

The suspect was taken by Life Flight to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston. He has been identified as Ismael Martinez, 53.

And after the hospital …

Martinez will be taken to jail when he recovers.

A well-deserved bad day for Mr. Martinez … Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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zip your lip

There are lots of times in a person’s life when the best course of action is to just keep quiet. This would seem to be among the most obvious example of just such a case, but not to this gent.  As reported by The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):

Thomas Arahill, 55, was arrested and charged first with threatening a man with a crowbar during a dispute Monday afternoon, said Capt. Thomas Dellane.

Officers responded to Gaff Road in reference to a fight call at 2 p.m., where they made contact with a man who said Arahill had attempted to use a metal bar as a weapon, the police said.

Arahill was arrested, charged with possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and taken to police headquarters for processing, authorities said.

All you have to do is just keep quiet and you’ll be out of there in no time…

However, after he was released, Arahill saw two of the officers who had arrested him in the town hall lobby, and began threatening them, Dellane said. Arahill refused to leave the area, the captain added.

Doh!

Arahill was taken back into custody and charged with a disorderly persons offense for the loud and threatening behavior, Dellane said.

No release this time.

Arahill was taken to the Ocean County Jail, where he was held on $1,500 bail, authorities added.

Click here for the source.

 

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taser

If you are wondering how someone could withstand and do all of those things, you’re in good company. The judge was also puzzled. As reported by The Herald Mail (Hagerstown, MD):

A Hagerstown man who broke a set of steel handcuffs and was shocked with stun guns 30 or more times during a struggle last summer with five police officers was acquitted Tuesday during a trial before a judge in Washington County Circuit Court.

Yup. Acquitted of all charges.

“This is, as far as I’m concerned, a medical mystery,” Circuit Judge Daniel P. Dwyer said as he granted the motion for acquittal on all charges against Nicholas Edward Borum, 32, of Outer Drive.

There was no evidence in the two-day trial “to explain the phenomenal strength Mr. Borum exhibited” on the morning of July 10, 2013, Dwyer said.

So what happened that day?

On that morning, Hagerstown police responded to a report of a burglary in progress near Borum’s home, according to the statement of probable cause. When the caller confronted the man, later identified as Borum, “he just stood there and refused to leave,” the charging documents said.

When police arrived, the doors of the caller’s shed “appeared to be pulled from the hinges,” the documents said.

Dressed only in shorts, “Borum had a distant stare, was clenching his fists, breathing heavy and not responding” to commands, the documents said.

Uh-oh.

When an officer tried to place him in custody, Borum began to resist. Officers used electric stun devices on Borum and tried to handcuff him, the documents said.  “Borum displayed immense strength throughout the altercation,” the documents said.

Officers were able to handcuff Borum, but he continued to kick, flail at and try to bite officers, despite being shocked repeatedly.

Ambulance personnel administered a drug to calm him, but “the shot did nothing,” the documents said.

Zoinks. Now what?

Borum then broke the handcuffs before police got him into an ambulance, and he was taken to Meritus Medical near Hagerstown.

Whew. The charges?

Borum was charged with five counts of second-degree assault, as well as resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and two counts of malicious destruction of property, court records said.

And he was not guilty because …

“I’m absolutely convinced … Mr. Borum was not in control of his faculties,” Dwyer said before dismissing the charges.  The judge said he could find no evidence of voluntary intoxication.

 

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patience

We all get a little upset from time to time when we’re driving.  But what we do about goes a long way towards determining … whether we will be arrested! As reported by news-press.com (Florida):

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office said Stephen Jones, 56, of Bonita Springs, told deputies he was waiting to turn in the parking lot of Publix on U.S. 41 in Bonita Springs on Friday when the car behind him, a gold Lexus, began honking. Jones said he tried to talk to the driver of the Lexus but was thwarted when she and her male passenger would not open their windows.

That should have been the end of it, but …

Jones got back into his truck. The driver of the Lexus, Eileen Nemeroff, 61, of Bonita Springs, then approached his truck, used a profanity to ask him to move, and then reached in and slapped him.

She got back into her car and left, Jones said. Two witnesses supported Jones’ report, the deputies said.

Deputies tracked Nemeroff’s car to her Bonita Springs home and arrested her on burglary and assault or battery charges. The burglary charge stems from Nemeroff reaching inside the other driver’s vehicle.

Perhaps part of her punishment should be – Bart Simpson style – that she write “Patience is a virtue.” 1,000 times on a blackboard.

 

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middle of the road

The Juice is scratching is head, wondering how he missed this story…  It’s a virtual certainly that if the residents of this neighborhood could get rid of one person, it would be Jackie Shields. Why her? Well, as reported by The Gloucestershire Echo:

 Only a week after [Ms. Shields] was banned from a large part of Gloucester, she is back behind bars again.

Jackie Shields is alleged to have used the middle of Barton Street as a toilet and stopped a bus in the process.

Now that she’s back in the slammer, she’s a model prisoner right? Well …

On Friday, August 16, Shields refused to enter the video link room at the prison, so did not appear before Gloucester Crown Court.

Folks skipping out on court appearances probably happens every 30 seconds. But not showing up – by video – when you’re already in jail?

In case you’re wondering what she did to get that 40-day sentence:

She had served 40 days on remand for offences including outraging public decency when she defecated in the street on January 17, and an assault on March 3.

Hmm. Are you sensing a pattern too? Not so fast though. Her body of work is not that limited.

Last October she admitted eight crimes which ranged from stealing a cardigan from a charity shop, a magazine and a can of Special Brew lager, to three assaults and sustained harassment of staff and customers at the Emmaus charity shop in the city.

She also assaulted a woman police officer and a detention officer in separate attacks four days apart.

Yikes.  You’ll find the source here. (HT to Reddit)

 

 

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judge%20angry%20furious%20upset%20crazy%20bad%20pissed%20mad%20outraged.gif Certainly it’s no State v. Johnson, but the Buldoni case will have to do for today. As reported at myCentralJersey.com, here’s what happened in a case involving Mr. Buldoni, before Judge Emery Toth:

After pleading not guilty, Buldoni, also known as Luis Martinez, tried to explain the offenses to Toth.

But Toth was having none of it …

Toth suggested that the reason Buldoni got arrested was for failing to appear in court in November 2007 for the summonses. But Buldoni told the judge he was wrong.

This is not usually something judges like to hear.

“All right. Well if you’d stop getting arrested, then you wouldn’t have any of these problems, right?” the judge said.

Snap!

“Excuse me, your honor?” Buldoni replied.

“I don’t want to have a debate with you,” the judge said. “I don’t want to have an Oprah Winfrey conversation with you…See you around.”

(Are we clear? Crystal.)

As he was leaving the video-conference room, Buldoni made a noise, which Toth later described as “raspberries.”

“I don’t want to tell you what you really are, but I’m a street guy. So when I said, “See you later,’ hey, I didn’t really get offended when you gave me the old fist up in the air. That’s okay. I didn’t really care about that. But when you give me the raspberries when walking out and you give me some kind of disrespect, I’m telling you that’s contempt in the face of the court. You’re going to jail. You’ll stay there for another 30 days…you open your mouth, you give me any more attitude, I’m going to give you some more jail time.”

Okay, 30 days … um, hold on …

“Appreciate it,” Buldoni said.

“Okay, I’m giving you 40, 45 days,” Toth said.

The exchange grew even more heated. Buldoni made another remark that the transcript lists as indiscernible.

“Sixty days. Get out of here,” the judge said.

“No, give me 70,” Buldoni said.

“Seventy-five,” Toth said.

The quarrel continued until Buldoni got 180 days.

Did he serve all 180 days? Apparently so, according to Judge Toth. So why was this exchange reported? Because Judge Toth recently had a disciplinary case filed against him as a result of this case!

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As a general rule, cab rides not only lack drama, but are downright boring. There was an exception to the rule a few days ago in Sacramento, as reported by The Sacramento Bee:

A cab driver had a dispute with a rider over the destination at 20th and Q streets in midtown Sacramento on Saturday, according to a crime report.

The fare pulled a folding-blade knife, but no threats were made. The cab driver fled on foot.

The rider also fled on foot but not before paying (and tipping) the cab driver.

The rider was not found, police said.

Isn’t pulling a knife [apparently during an argument] a threat? Anyway, here’s the source.

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all you can eat buffet

What, you think The Juice is joking? No my friend, this subject is way too serious to joke about. Per the International Business Times:

A Saudi cleric named Saleh al-Fawzan has issued fatwa against all-you-can-eat buffets in Saudi Arabia. He made the statement on a Saudi Quranic TV station.

Fawzan said the value and quantity of the food sold should be predetermined before hand.

“Whoever enters the buffet and eats for 10 or 50 riyals without deciding the quantity they will eat is violating Sharia (Islamic) law,” Fawzan was quoted on al-Atheer channel.

The fatwa attempts to add plate piling eateries to the long list of things outlawed by religious edicts. It has been the subject of condemnation and debate on social media channels.

Noooooo! Click here for the source.

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parallel parking spot

“It’s just a parking spot. Fuhgeddaboutit.”  Unfortunately for a gent who was just sitting in his car, another gent really, really wanted his spot. We know this because, per the police blotter at brooklynpaper.com:

90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg

The victim told police he was sitting in his ride between Berry Street and Bedford Avenue at 10:45 am when the maniac banged on his driver’s-side window.

“Get the f— out of this spot,” the bully supposedly yelled at him.

When the 22-year-old victim picked up his cellphone to call police, the tough guy grabbed it out of his hand and threw it on the ground, police reported. The road warrior then punched the victim in the face, kicked the driver’s-side mirror off his car, threw it in the street, and drove off in a red Toyota Solaris that cops later found on Wythe Avenue at Grand Street, according to authorities.

Perhaps the most incredible part of the story – the thug was driving a Solaris?