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Baseball

The urge to honk in certain situations is almost irresistible. This man will definitely resist the urge in the future. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper‘s police blotter for the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach):

The victim said he honked his horn at the pair while they were inside their vehicle ahead of him for not moving fast enough at 12:10 am. The pair got out, the woman carrying a Louisville Slugger, and the man holding a black firearm.

Um. Never mind?

The femme fatale struck the victim on the back, then hit his driver’s-side door and smashed his mirror, a report said. The male then threatened him with a firearm before the two got back in their car and drove off, cops said.

Yikes!

 

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hiding

Clearly this was not the best hiding place. As reported by The Hunterdon Democrat (New Jersey):

Jennifer Keller, 19, of Gettysburg was a passenger in a car stopped on May 31 shortly before 2 a.m. on Route 523 by Sgt. Chris DeWire for alleged erratic driving.

The driver, a York, Pa. woman, told police that she wasn’t familiar with the area, and her GPS unit wasn’t working properly.

Fairly routine so far, but …

Police made “several observations that led them to believe that the driver and her three occupants were engaging in illegal activity,” and they said consent was given to search the car.

Keller had hypodermic needles on her, police said, and was taken to police headquarters.

Uh-oh.

Once there, police said that Dewire “developed reasons to believe Keller was hiding illegal contraband on or in her body.” [They found 300 grams [10.58 ounces!] of cocaine “concealed in a body cavity.”]

Keller was charged with possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, and possession of cocaine and hypodermic needles.

She was taken to the county jail with bail set at $100,000.

If you want any more info, fuhgeddaboutit. That’s all you’re getting. Here’s the source.

 

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bank building

If all bank robberies went down like this, the world would be a better place. Why would The Juice say this? Well, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

The incident happened at 11:33 a.m. Tuesday at TD Bank, 300 Franklin St., in downtown Manchester.

The teller told police the man came into the bank and demanded cash from her, but left before taking any. He did not threaten the teller and he did not have a gun or any other weapon, police said.

No weapon! No threat! No injuries and no loss.

The man is described as having light-colored skin and wearing a white Red Sox T-shirt and gray baseball hat. He fled the bank on foot.

Police released a photo of the man taken from the bank’s video surveillance system.

You’ll find the source here, including the surveillance photo.

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lake

Granted at this point they didn’t have a lot of options.  But still, you really thought you’d get away from the cops by swimming across the lake? As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Jarrell Beckman, 32; Myron Davis, 31; Johnny Hughes, 22 and Christopher Watson were charged by Missouri authorities with burglary, narcotics trafficking and resisting arrest.

What did they do to warrant these charges?

According to police, the men were burglarizing a home on Wednesday afternoon in Jennings, Mo. when a woman who lived at the house came home to discover them in her living room.

So it’s your garden variety, completely unplanned burglary that blows up. Big surprise. But wait.

The suspects reportedly fled, leading police across the Mississippi River into Illinois, where they crashed on Interstate 70 near Illinois 111, their car ending up partially in a lake.

Officers surrounding them on land, two of the suspects swam for the opposite shore across the algae-covered lake. But they ended up surrendering to officers on the lake shore.

You’re probably wondering about the narcotics charge. Well …

According to police, two large boxes containing about 10 pounds of marijuana were found in the suspects’ car.

Seriously? You burgled a house with a car full of pot? Brilliant! Here’s the source.

 

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

You want your kids to express themselves by drawing. Just not on your passport! As reported by metro.co.uk:

The [4-year-old] child got busy during a recent family trip to South Korea, where he took to the back page of his dad’s Chinese passport with a black pen and drew some really nice pictures of people, animals, and – obviously – added a bit more hair to his dad’s face. Classic.

The only problem is that now his dad is stuck in South Korea because of his unrecognisable documentation, and authorities have warned it is likely he won’t be able to travel home with his son, and the rest of his party.

The picture was originally posted on social networking site Weibo by the father, known only as Chen, alongside a plea for help.

Sounds like he might be spending the rest of his holiday on the phone to the Chinese embassy. Let’s just hope he invests in a nice colour by numbers for his son next time…

You’ll find the source here.

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golf course

Of course you won’t be thrown in the clink for playing golf … unless … you’re on disability. Doh! The Juice despises fraud, and hence is not at all fond of this chap. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Judge Andrew Hamilton told Robert Cave he was an utter liar and cheat as he sentenced him at Nottingham Crown Court yesterday.

Not just a “liar and cheat,” but an utter liar and cheat. Nothing but love for the UK. About the “cheat” part:

Cave, 50, from Cotswold Grove, Mansfield, pocketed £12,604.65 [about $20,000 US] in Disability Allowance over more than three years.

The disability?

He claimed on forms for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) that walking was extremely painful after both his knee caps were removed.

He also said he needed help using the toilet day and night and found it hard to lift pans from the cooker to the sink.

So you’re saying a guy without knee caps, who can barely lift a pan up off the stove, can play golf? Um, yeah.

By the time investigators acted on a tip-off to their fraud-busting hotline, Cave had developed a handicap of 15 and played regularly in competitions.

He was seen loading a golf trolley into the boot of a car in 2009.

Time to get some lighter pans for your kitchen, pal. Of course there were plenty of excuses and explanations.

The court heard his claim was legitimate when it was submitted in 1996, but he should have told the DWP if his condition improved.

Miss Pittman said her client’s condition had since deteriorated.

Blah blah blah. Here’s the source.

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money

Of course the robber didn’t say it was a garden hose nozzle he was sticking in the manager’s back, but it was. As reported by WZVN (Florida):

Akeem Rendell Arnold, 23, of Naples, allegedly tried to steal over $14,000 shortly before [the CVS closed], according to a police report.

Police say Arnold wearing a mask and dressed in black approached the store manager, who is his brother, while he was outside taking the trash out.

Sticking up your brother? Not cool.

Arnold allegedly put what felt like a gun or knife to the manager’s back and told him to re-enter the store against his will at 294 9th street South, according to the police report.

Once inside the store, Arnold is accused of hitting the manager over the head with the garden hose nozzle, taking money from the store’s safe, and hog-tying him with a roll of plastic wrap.

So much for putting family first.

Arnold then made a run for it, and police apprehended him along US-41 with a backpack containing the money, the garden hose nozzle, a mask, bandana and multiple pairs of gloves.

Reports show it took two pepper sprays and handcuffs to get Arnold under control.

Click here for the source, including a mug shot.

 

 

 

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book

The Juice does not have to read this book in order to speculate that it may be the worst book ever written. He thinks that you will agree. As reported by kxnews.com (Bismarck, North Dakota):

A Mandan High School Social Studies teacher is behind bars after writing a sexually explicit book about two of his students.

So, so creepy and frightening.

Police say Scott Allan gave the book to the 17 and 18-year-old female students as a graduation gift.

This may be the one superlative too many, but worst graduation gift ever?

They say the characters in the book have the same first names and similar last names as the two students, and in it they engage in sexual acts.

Allan was placed on administrative leave on May 22nd and resigned later that day.

He turned himself in to police yesterday for Promoting Obscenity to Minors, a class C felony and Disorderly Conduct, a class B misdemeanor.

You’ll find the source, including a video news story, here.

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sleeping sleep man

Yes, early one morning, a drunk driver picked the police academy driveway as a good place to sleep it off.  He didn’t even make it until the facility opened. As reported at highlinetimes.com (Burien, Washington):

According to the Burien Police Department, a drunk driver decided to pull over for some sleep in the driveway of the Criminal Justice Training Center in the early morning hours of May 18. The Washington State Criminal Justice Training Center, often referred to simply as the “police academy” is located in the southeast corner of Burien at the intersection of 1st Avenue S. and S.W. 192nd Street. The facility is used to train law enforcement students and police from across Washington and is the location for the primary training is done for both the Burien Police Department and the King County Sheriff’s Department. Police reported that concerned citizens reported the driver of the vehicle after noticing that the man was unconscious with his truck blocking the entrance to the academy. Police arrived to find the driver heavily intoxicated. When officers ran the man’s information, they found that he was wanted for a felony warrant from previous drug charges.

Hopefully this gent gets some help, and doesn’t drive again until he’s gotten his act together.

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driving road

How about this explanation given by a man arrested for exposing himself while driving? As reported by The Kitsap Sun (Washington):

A 24-year-old Bremerton man arrested Wednesday for indecent exposure told a State Patrol trooper he was driving his car while not wearing pants because he recently received a body wax.

The “Manzilian,” or Brazilian for men, resulted in his jeans irritating his skin, he told the trooper, so he had been driving in his underwear.

A witness told investigators she had seen the man exposing himself and sticking out his tongue while driving on Highway 16 near the Tremont Street overpass, and had been doing so “since Gig Harbor,” according to court documents.

The man was booked into Kitsap County Jail and held on $5,000 bail.

Are you buying it? Here’s the source.