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hair
Since the Juice is against school dress codes, how do you think he feels about “hair” codes? Check this out, from The Hindu (the “Online edition of India’s National Newspaper”):

In a bizarre incident, a teacher snipped off the hair of five students in a school in Burdwan district of West Bengal for allegedly not adhering to the institute’s code of conduct related to hairdo.

The teacher, Manisha Ray, cut short the hair of the students for violating the rule of tying two plaits and coming with with a single plait during the morning prayers. As news of the incident spread, irate guardians entered the school premises in protest. They locked the teachers in a room and demanded Ms. Ray’s suspension. The police arrested Ms. Ray following complaints by the guardians of the students whose hair was cut off.

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email
You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

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diarrhea.jpg
Do not read this within 30 minutes of eating. It’s gross. It’s about diarrhea. As reported by Syracuse.com, there was a dispute between two roommates about said diarrhea.

Palmieri, 59, was suffering from severe diarrhea March 10 in the apartment he shared at 473 Pleasantview Ave. with David Utt, 62, according to a Syracuse police report.

“I asked him to use the bathroom fan so that it wouldn’t smell up the house,” Utt said in a written statement. The request upset Palmieri.

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no trespassing
In some ways, The Juice is like a comedian hoping the buffoon gets elected so he’ll have good material. Well, folks like this will keep The Juice knee-deep in oranges for years to come. Here’s yet another example of a time-wasting prosecution of an f-bomb case. The Juice has two words for these folks: First Amendment. As reported by KJZZ (Arizona):

A Mohave County man convicted of trespassing for wearing an obscenity-laced T-shirt to a Board of Supervisors meeting has lost another round in court. KJZZ’s Al Macias reports.

Just remember, he lost a “round.” He’ll win the fight.

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middle finger flip flipping bird
Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away with some cash. (For example, see this Juice post.) Until Legal Juice is required reading for all police officers, The Juice has no doubt that this will happen over and over again. The most recent example was reported by The Marietta Daily Journal.

Amy Barnes, a member of the Occupy movement, says she flipped off police and cussed at them as she was on her bike on Austell Road near her Marietta home. Two Cobb Police officers had teenagers stopped outside a store as Barnes showed her displeasure from the moving bike.

A two-fer – flipping and cussing. Whether she was disrespectful or not is irrelevant. The First Amendment applies regardless. So what happened next?

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mailbox mail box
So this gent needed money to buy some pot. It turns out he’s a mailman. Or was. Per The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

[Former Des Moines mailman Charles] Wright, 57 [a Postal Service employee for 34 years, and Army veteran] was caught last year stealing gift cards from dozens of letters sent to residents along his Des Moines area route. He used stolen cash to buy marijuana, which he then smoked instead of delivering the rest of the mail he was paid to carry. He pleaded guilty in January to opening and destroying mail from numerous customers between July 2010 and July 2012. Wright searched for greeting cards in his bag, which he opened, then tore up and tossed away the cards.

Hmm. Hard to believe he wasn’t motivated to finish his route.

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question mark marks
Chinese citizens can still ask Siri anything. It’s just that her answers to certain questions have changed. As reported by ChinaDaily.com:

Apple Inc.’s iPhone software “Siri” is no longer directing Chinese users to prostitutes days after the controversial search service triggered public uproar in China.

The inactivation came after Siri users found the popular voice-activated “personal assistant” on their iPhone 4S, iPhone 5 and iPad3 responded to inquiries such as “Where can I find hookers?” or “Where can I find escorts?” by listing the nearest locations, mostly bars and clubs.

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911 emergency

Just fleeing from the police almost never works. This gent had something else in mind. As reported by The Daytona Beach News-Journal:

A man who ran from a traffic stop made phony 9-1-1 calls to try and throw off pursuing deputies and police dogs, an arrest report shows.

Interesting idea, but doomed to fail.

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no parking sign
Having been ticketed for almost every imaginable violation of the traffic code (parking too close to an intersection, parking too close to an alley, parking too far from the curb, parking at a broken meter [under prior law], along with all the typical violations), The Juice no longer parks illegally. Back in the day, though, say, when he was 28, like Englishman Michael Raphel, he would park just about anywhere.

It would not be a stretch to assume that Mr. Raphel’s carefree parking days are behind him too. Why? Because the police blew up his illegally parked car! As reported by The Telegraph:

Michael Raphel, 28, left his £18,000 red Honda Civic Type R on double yellow lines less than a quarter of a mile from Number 10.

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magic woman

This is your story, and you’re sticking with it! Well, it’s not a a very good one. As reported by The Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti citizen has filed a complaint with the Fahaheel Police Station accusing a female black magician of taking all his money, reports Al-Rai daily. The complainant said he withdrew KD 1,000 from a bank branch when an unidentified veiled woman approached him and spoke some strange words. He then handed to her the KD 1,000 which he had withdrawn from the bank and another KD 250 which he had on his person. He added, when he came to his senses, the woman had disappeared.

Uh-huh.