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monkey
So maybe it’s not 100% certain that he was drinking with the monkeys, but he let them out of their cages, he was drunk, and … as reported by The August Chronicle (Georgia):

According to a GHSU Police Bureau incident report, a co-worker discovered Coley Mitchell, 32, partially unclothed in the Laboratory Animal Services technician locker room at the Sanders Research and Education Building about 10:30 p.m. Monday.

Yikes!

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cheez-its
Everyone craves some type of food at one time or another. And although you may not consider Cheez-Its to be food, a New Hampshire man had a serious craving, and apparently no cash. So, according to The New Hampshire Union Leader …

Officer Jacob Tyler was on patrol when he stopped to check on the business. When he pulled up, the clerk came out to tell him he had just been punched in the face. The officer noted redness around the clerk’s eye.

The clerk told Tyler he saw a man go out the door after hiding a three-ounce bag of Cheez-It in his pants. The clerk confronted him outside, the two got into a struggle, and the shoplifter punched him in the face and then ran off.

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police car chase
Running away from a problem rarely works.  This is especially true if your problem is a police car chasing you, and you are on an electric bicycle!  As reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

At around 11:45 p.m. Halton police officers, patrolling on bicycles, saw a man on an E-bike in the area of Kerr Street and Lakeshore Road West who they allege was not wearing the required helmet.

When you are doing something illegal (see below), why would you draw attention to yourself by breaking such an obvious law like a helmet law?

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ant
In a country where past cases have made it quite clear that one may not insult police officers with impunity, this would seem to be a no-brainer. But what is considered an insult is unclear, as this case demonstrates. As reported by DutchNews.nl:

A homeless man has been cleared by the High Court of insulting a police officer by calling him a mierenneuker – literally ant-fucker – a term used in popular speech to describe people who stick obsessively to the rules.

The court said it depended on the context in which it is used whether or not the word should be considered swearing. Only if mierenneuker is used with the intention to insult or cause offence is it a swearword, the NRC quoted the High Court as saying.

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doh
Can you believe that a sexual harassment claim could arise from a cocktail waitress’s employment at a strip club? Well, suspend your disbelief, and take my word for it. Or click here to read about it in the Gothamist.

Anyway, that’s not the point of the post. The point of the post is the caption of the Complaint:

LOURDES GARCIA, on behalf of herself and hose similarly situated, PLAINTIFFS [emphasis added]

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sink dishes
It’s safe to say there have been many fights among roommates over dirty dishes. This gent, however, took it to a whole ‘nother level. As reported by Fox40.com (Sacramento, California):

An 18-year-old man reportedly told officers at the Sonora Regional Medical Center that his roommate had thrown a porcelain mug at him during the fight [over the dishes not being done].

So he threw a mug. Wait, there was a second mug …

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mary jane marijuana pot reefer weed
There are lots of ways to show your family some love. You might, say, try to visit your grandson in jail and bring Mary Jane. No doubt he would have appreciated it. We’ll never know. As reported in The Dayton Daily News:

Richard Heritz [age 85!], of West Chester Twp., stepped onto the grounds of the Warren Correction Institution Aug. 13 to visit his grandson. Gregory Heritz had been incarcerated at the prison for two years, and had eight more to come from a burglary conviction out of Butler County, according to prison records.

Before Heritz saw his grandson, he was pulled aside by state troopers, who were acting on a tip they had received. A few hours later, Heritz was behind bars as well, accused of attempting to smuggle marijuana onto prison grounds.

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coctail drink
It’s so nice when family and friends get together and just hang out, maybe have a cocktail, right? Before you say yes, remember that there are many kinds of cocktails … Per khou.com:

HFD arson Investigators said the incident started as an argument between [Darius] Owens [26] and a family member during a gathering in the apartment.

Uh oh.

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stamps

Regular Juice readers know about the various ways people smuggle things into jail, many of which are NSFW. This is a new one on The Juice. As reported by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office (Florida):

Deputies have arrested a Trinity woman after she concealed suboxone strips behind stamps on envelopes and mailed them to two inmates at the Pinellas County. The inmates in turn distributed and sold the controlled substance to other Pinellas County Jail inmates. Since the investigation began on August 1, 2013, deputies intercepted a total of 11 pieces of mail containing the opiate.

Pretty clever. Suboxone is also known as “heroin in a breath strip.” These folks had quite a business going, what with each stamp selling for $20. You can read more, and see the mug shot of smuggler here.

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mcdonalds
It’s so easy, in the comfort of your own home, or sitting there in your ergonomic office chair, to say that you wouldn’t have reacted as this Houston woman did. But can you really know with certainty? Exactly. As reported by khou.com:

According to officers with the Houston Police Department, the woman got upset over her drink at a McDonald’s restaurant, caused a disturbance, and then sped off [and allegedly led police on high-speed chase.]  Police said they spotted her older Mercedes with an expired sticker, and they tried to pull her over.

Okay, so perhaps she overreacted a little.

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