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toy%20gun.jpg

Fortunately for the clerk in this Little River, South Carolina store, this “armed” robber is not very good at robbery. As reported by wmbfnews.com:

[33-year-old Joshua Page Edwards] walked into the store to allegedly shop for a gift, and perused the shop with the clerk before walking up to the counter and handing over a note.

Aren’t notes a bank robbery thing? Anyway …

That note told her “to be quite and give him the money,” an Horry County Police report states.

Edwards then presented an apparent handgun that the clerk immediately recognized as a toy.

Kind of makes you wonder what color plastic it was.

She told him she would not give him anything, so Edwards ran out of the store, saying it was all a joke.

Sorry bro. Can’t unring that bell.

Police reviewed video that matched up with the clerk’s story. They found Edwards nearby and charged him with armed robbery.

Yes, that’s armed robbery. What did Mr. Edwards say when they busted him?

He told police he didn’t do it, claiming he was in a bar the whole time, and perhaps his twin brother was to blame. Two notes saying he was conducting a robbery were found in his pockets.

Oh, and his twin brother also put those notes in his pocket. Doh! Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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aircraft airplane air plane

If you have ever been lucky enough to fly first class, maybe you’ll have some understanding of what this man did… As reported by The Highline Times (Washington State):

A man sits in King County jail after he allegedly bolted through a security checkpoint at Sea-Tac Airport and onto an empty plane. The suspect did not have a plane ticket when he ran through the TSA passenger screening area. The man reportedly made it to Gate D10 and is accused of going through emergency exit doors and onto an airport ramp. He then climbed the stairs to the jetway, broke safety glass on a security door, made it on to an empty American Airlines plane and belted himself in a first class seat. Officers entered the plane and were able to take the suspect into custody after a short struggle. The man, in his late 20ʼs, was likely under the influence of drugs. A judge set bail at $100,000.

First, what the hell kind of security is that? A guy who is completely wasted makes it through the TSA screening, gets all the way to Gate D10 (you know that’s not close), and then makes it onto a plane? And $100,000 bail seems a little excessive. He hardly sounds like a flight risk (get it?).

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noodles pasta

Indeed, making his food addictive was the goal of a Chinese restauranteur.  As reported by The South China Morning Post:

A noodle shop owner was detained after he was discovered to have been adding parts of a poppy plant – from which opium is made – to food so that customers would keep coming back.

The noodle shop’s owner was held for questioning and confessed that he purchased 2kg of poppy shells (the bud of the plant in which poppy seeds are found) for 600 yuan (HK$756) in August.

He secretly added it to the food to lure in more customers.

The owner was detained for 10 days. Poppy shells used to be an ingredient in a popular hot pot sauce until the product was banned, according to previous reports.

So how did they bust him? Unfortunately, one man had to pay a pretty hefty price to get some justice (just some, not much). (Click on the link at the end of this post.)

The restaurant’s activities came to light after one customer, Liu Juyou, 26, tested positive during a routine urine test under an anti-drink-driving programme, the Xian Evening News reported on Tuesday.

He said he never touched illegal substances, so was shocked by the test result.

You don’t have to imagine what the cops said. “Yeah. Uh-huh. You’re innocent, just like everyone else in here.” Thing is, he was.

Liu was detained for 15 days from September 3, unable to convince police that the drug, he suspected, might have come from the food from a noodle shop he frequented.

Liu asked his family to help him test the theory, eating noodles at the restaurant and going home to take urine tests. When the relatives also tested positive for drugs, they alerted the police, who launched an investigation.

You can read more here.

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loud music

This gent seems like the neighbor from hell, especially if the comments following the story are true. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

A 48-year-old man was arrested at 3:30 p.m. Sunday in Myakka after violating Manatee County’s noise ordinance a fourth time, according to authorities.

Pete Hunsader was playing loud music in the 2400 block of 53rd Avenue East, Myakka, when deputies asked him to turn it down, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

Hunsader refused and fled toward his house, according to the report.

You know he didn’t get away. And The Juice is pretty sure you know how he was caught.

Police arrested him after stunning him with a Taser, according to the report.

Really? You tased the guy for that? The guy may be a complete ass, and the worst neighbor ever, but unless there is more to the story, tasing him for that is just bullshit. Here’s the source.

 

 

 

 

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dog nose sniffing

It is abundantly clear that you just don’t mess with Malone. That dog can flat-out smell, as a gent with a full cavity discovered. As reported by kvia.com (El Paso, Texas):

The seizure was made at approximately 1:30 p.m. Monday at the Paso Del Norte pedestrian crossing. A 35-year-old U.S. citizen from El Paso entered the port from Mexico and was selected for a secondary exam by CBP officers. CBP drug sniffing dog “Malone” alerted to the man. During the course of an interview with CBP officers the subject admitted that he had heroin concealed within his body. The subject removed a single oval shaped pellet from an internal cavity. The contents of the 136 gram bundle tested positive for heroin.

CBP officers took custody of the subject and turned him over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement HSI special agents for arrest. Federal prosecution was accepted and HSI agents booked the subject, Paulo Alfredo Macias, into the El Paso County Jail where he is currently being detained without bond.

“From an internal cavity …”? Why not just say it was in his anal cavity, or his anus, or his butt? Is there any other plausible “internal cavity” other than the one he used? You’ll find the source here.

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flash

(No, not the kind of flash in the picture above.) Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):

The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.

So what happened?

The woman said she was walking home to Ridgewood Drive from the Giant Eagle on University Boulevard when Zucchero pulled over near the Sunoco station and offered her a ride. Thinking he was a neighbor of hers, the woman got into the vehicle, police said.

However, even after she realized Zucchero was not the neighbor, the woman was not suspicious because he knew her name and names of her neighbors, she told police. The woman told Zucchero he could drop her off in front of the old Texaco station at University and Moon-Clinton Road, but Zucchero offered to drive her closer to home to Foxwood Road, according to the police report.

A little strange, right?

Zucchero kept driving past Foxwood, however, and as they passed the Appian Way Lounge, she told police, Zucchero exposed himself. She said he then drove all the way to the Dependable Drive-In before turning around and driving back to the Appian Way Lounge, where Zucchero offered to buy her a drink and she accepted, the report said.

Very creepy, and WTF is up with accepting the drink?

Inside the bar, the woman said Zucchero gave her his business card and asked her if she had any friends before offering her $20 and pointing toward his crotch, which she took to mean he wanted sex, the report said.

Even more creepy. So she took off or asked for help, right? Nope.

The woman then said she had to leave and Zucchero again offered a ride, which she accepted.

Oh no you did not just take that ride!

Once in the vehicle, though, the woman said Zucchero again exposed himself, and she jumped out of the moving vehicle and traveled different paths and trails home so he could not follow her, the report said.

So after all that, you decide it’s time to get away while in a moving car? Wow. So how did they identify the suspect?

When giving her description to police, the woman said she believed the man who had exposed himself was her elementary school bus driver sometime around 1986 to 1991 who knew her name even though she had never given it to him.

Based on the business card and description, police on Wednesday contacted Zucchero, who denied knowing the woman, offering her money for sex or ever being a bus driver.

Truly a strange case. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out. You’ll find the source here.

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2p two 2 pence coin coins

Actually, madam, your money isn’t good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:

Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.

Say what?

Ms Munro, from Roby, who went home to raid her piggy bank for the loose change to settle her debt, was even told by police over the phone that the garage was correct in refusing the payment after a row broke out.

According to the Royal Mint, 1p and 2p coins are legal only if something is bought for just 20p or less.

Under the little-known Coinage Act 1971 it is illegal to use 21 or more 1p pieces in a single transaction.

A truly brilliant customer relations move by the gas station…

Ms Munro, who denied she was being vindictive by handing over coppers, said: “I admit it’s annoying to have to count pennies but that’s all I had and I’m not the kind of person to leave a debt hanging. I wanted to settle it as soon as I could.

“As far as I was concerned it is legal tender – it has the Queen’s head on it and why would they produce them unless they could be used?”

Seems reasonable. After all, it’s only £30, and it’s not like it’s a daily occurrence.

The dispute happened on Sunday afternoon after Ms Munro’s RBS debit card was rejected because of the bank’s system troubles.

And it was brought about through no fault of Ms. Munro!

… she returned three hours later with two money bags filled with carefully counted-out coppers.

But after the garage searched the internet to see if they could accept the change they stumbled across a newspaper article from earlier this year telling of an accountant who was sued for trying to pay an £800 bill in coppers. There they learned of the Coinage Act 1971.

A phone call to the police also confirmed that Ms Munro’s payment contravened the Coinage Act.

[Garage worker Mugeen] Mohammed said the petrol station has not cashed the loose change and wants Ms Munro to return with an alternative form of payment.

Really? People are probably just lining up to buy gas at such a customer-friendly station.

Merseyside Police confirmed they were contacted over the dispute but said it was a “civil matter”.

Whew. No jail time. You’ll find the source here.

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license plate plates

Yeah, yeah. Someone has to review vanity plate applications in every state. Of course, what is approved and what isn’t never seems to make a whole lot of sense. If you want to see A TON of plates requested in Florida and whether they were accepted or rejected, click here. Here’s a sampling, as reported by WTSP.com:

While G8TR H8R, G8TR H8R2, G8R H8, G8RS SUK, and G8R PIMP were all rejected, G8TR HTR was approved in 2007.

While OLD FART was rejected, HORNMAN was approved.

While GUN PLAY was rejected, GUN SAFE was approved.

While BIG TURD was rejected, BG JONSN was approved.

Unfortunately for Rays fans, neither SOX-H8TR nor YKS SUK was approved.

So how are these momentous decisions made?

“(We review) things that would be generally objectionable,” said Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicle (DHSMV) spokesperson Leslie Palmer. “Things dealing with race (and) things…of a blatant sexual nature.”

Before a license plate is rejected, the majority of a special DHSMV committee must indicate it could be offensive to a large group of people. Then, one of the agency heads still must uphold the committee’s findings.

Here’s the source.

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hundred dollar bill

If a store won’t take your fake hundred … just go to the next one, and the next one … As reported by Lancasteronline.com:

Toni Lyn Miller, 32, of Sinking Springs, passed a fake $100 bill at one outlet store and tried in vain to pass a similar bill at four other outlet stores, East Lampeter Township police Lt. Robin Weaver said.

Shouldn’t have gotten greedy.

In each incident, the she selected an inexpensive item to receive a large balance of change in return.

Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all. And who would have thought that maybe one of the merchants who rejected the hundred would call the police? Um, lots of people?

Police charged Miller with five counts of felony forgery, four counts of misdemeanor criminal attempt at theft by deception and one misdemeanor count of theft by deception.

She was arraigned on the charges and committed to Lancaster County Prison.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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angry anger

Here’s the question The Juice has for the perp: WTF?  As reported by The Herald (Rock Hill, South Carolina):

[According to Rock Hill police], a 44-year-old man texted [Julie] Baker [31] to break up with her this weekend. She then went to his room at Piedmont Medical Center and began fighting the man’s ex-wife.

Say what? First of all, breaking up with someone via text? Say it to her face. And speaking of faces …

Baker left before police arrived, but an officer noticed a cut and swelling above the ex-wife’s eye.

Yeah, that makes sense. Take it out on his ex-wife.

Warrants were issued and Baker was arrested Tuesday.

Click here for the source, which includes Ms. Baker’s mug shot.