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Sure, it’s illegal. But can it possibly be that this is a judicious use of police manpower? Unlikely. As reported by The Morning Call (Lehigh Valley, PA):

A detective from the Monroe County district attorney’s office made arrangements to meet Brian K. Ryder Friday after reading his ad on Craigslist from a male seeking a female to “smoke with.” The ad read, “Any females into 420? It’s nice out. Let’s go smoke. Email if interested.”

Investigators made arrangements to meet Ryder at the Stroud Mall on Route 611, but Detective Joseph Coddington pulled him over in his pickup truck prior to arriving at the mall. Ryder was charged with possession with intent to delivery marijuana, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He also was cited for having an expired inspection on his truck.

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The Juice is just sayin’ that, before you call the cops for their help, you might want to at least check your pockets! Doh! As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):

George Jordan Williams, 33, of Queen Creek, Arizona, called police from Scarlett O’Hara’s, 3201 S. Caroyln Ave., claiming several thousand dollars was stolen from him at the club.

Okay. Clearly a call to the police is a reasonable next step … or is it?

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The Juice is feeling it just thinking about pounding 20 beers. But that’s exactly what a 26-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan man did. Fortunately he did not succeed with what he set out to do after the binge. He did do some damage though, including a pretty disgusting grand finale. As reported by mlive.com:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Assistant Chief Brian Uridge said the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson [Plaza Hotel & Suites] ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to “get enough courage to commit suicide,” Uridge said.

The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drive out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.

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Regular Juice readers will, oddly enough, recognize this scenario from a recent post.  This, however, led to much more serious consequences for the perps. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Sometimes, good detective work and weeks of investigation are needed to nab suspected criminals. But other times all investigators need is 30 minutes to listen in on an accidental pocket dial to a 911 dispatch center.

That’s the reason 55-year-old Donna Knope, 32-year-old Jason Knope and 41-year-old Thomas Stallings spent their weekend in the Volusia County Branch Jail on drug charges.

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A bender? Not uncommon. Driving while on a bender? Common, but thankfully not as common. Getting busted while driving on a bender? Less common. Getting busted TWICE IN THE SAME DAY while on a bender? Fortunately, extremely rare, but it does happen… As reported by The Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

Around 9 a.m. that … morning, [Yvette L.] Cavallo [29] was charged by Harmony Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of a controlled substance.

In that case, police said, Cavallo admitted to taking a combination of pills and then texting while driving. Cavallo hit a telephone pole in the 3700 block of Duss Avenue in Harmony, police said.

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The Juice has known some heavy sleepers. But come on. You don’t sleep through this. And remember, is was 4:15 a.m. (Hint: He was probably passed out.)  As reported in brooklynpaper.com’s police blotter:

84th Precinct – Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Three lowlifes stole a wallet out of a sleeping straphanger’s pocket aboard a 2 train on Sept. 17, the authorities reported.

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Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Yeah, like you would ever …

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Sadly, lots of shoplifters use their kids during the perpetration of their crimes. But this lady, she’s in a whole ‘nother category. Per The Belleville News Democrat (Illinois):

Mykala M. Bator was charged by St. Clair County prosecutors Saturday with felony retail theft over $300, felony possession of a controlled substance and a misdemeanor charge of endangering a child. She is accused of shoplifting from Kohl’s around 4:55 p.m.

And if you’re wondering how she endangered the child …

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If you blamed your mom for severing your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.

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What could possibly bring a ninja warrior to tears? Well, if ninjas could cry, the thought of what this man tried to do dressed as a ninja might do it. As reported by myfoxorlando.com:

It was a scary morning for a local woman when, deputies say, a man in a ninja mask attacked her in her own home.

According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, 29-year-old Nick James Nardelli entered the woman’s home through an unlocked door early Monday morning.