Squeezed on:

bar sign
You own a bar in a college town. Seriously, who would think that the cops would ever stop in to make sure your patrons are of age? And anyway, it’s not like the joint is filled with kids. Er, what’s that you say? How many? As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

Village police say a compliance check at Backstreets, Market Street, resulted in 46 underage patrons being charged with trespass.

46!!!!! Uh-oh.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Simmer down there fellas. Or put some gloves on and hit a punching bag. But don’t do this! As reported by Per The Hamilton Spectator [Ontario]:

According to police, a man was driving his car on Mud St. W Friday when the passenger in a truck driving by in the next lane threw something out the window, striking his car.

He honked, but the truck did not stop. When the two vehicles pulled up to a red light, the truck passenger got out and waved a knife at the man in the car.

Squeezed on:

1328867_88276190
Hey, the guy is an entrepreneur. You’re going to bust him for renting houses? Well, yes. As reported by cleveland.com:

Danny Heaggans [age 33] illegally gained access to at least four vacant, abandoned or foreclosed homes [on Bedford, Ohio] and installed locks to make it look like he had legitimate access, police said.

Heaggans made repairs and showed the properties to people looking to rent a house, according to police.

Squeezed on:

cemetery
Most things work in the movies. See, that’s because movies are not real. The Juice could be wrong (hah), but it sure sounds like these bank robbers thought they were in a movie when they pulled off (briefly, any way) a bank robbery in Houston. As reported by khou.com:

The robbers were armed with semi-automatic handguns, according to the FBI.

Marquis Garr or said he saw them run out of the bank with a bag of money.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

ambulance
This woman took advantage of the country’s appropriate high-alert status (not the media-stoked fear of an outbreak here) in a really, really stupid way.  As reported by 610wtvn.com:

There is no word on possible charges involving a Columbus woman who admitted faking Ebola-like symptoms in order to get an ambulance to her South Champion Ave. home sooner.

The woman, who hasn’t been identified, initially told a 911 dispatcher that she had traveled to west Africa.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

speeding
Most people appreciate just being told the truth. Police officers are no exception. So enough with the excuses already! But if you want to read some whoppers, check this out, as reported by The Cambridge News:

Cambridgeshire police have released the raft of bizarre excuses told to officers who have stopped motorists.

Here we go …

Squeezed on:

laser beam
Someone hits your car on purpose. Of course, you get all the pertinent information. If you’re this guy, that would not be the license plate, type of car, etc. Per sfgate.com:

A woman intentionally rammed her car into a man’s car while arguing over a parking spot in the Haight, but the victim was so focused on her low-cut dress that all he could describe to officers afterward were her breasts, San Francisco police said Thursday.

The woman drove away after hitting the man’s car at Haight and Cole streets at 5 p.m. Tuesday, said Park Station Officer Al Wu. The man couldn’t tell officers what kind of car it was, let alone supply a license-plate number, but he “was able to give a detailed description of the suspect’s cleavage,” police said.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
At least according to Merriam-Webster, a “fetish” is defined as “an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion,” or “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.” Given this man’s behavior, think he has a toe fetish? Per The China Daily:

A woman in Dalian, Liaoning province, was attacked by a man who wanted to bite her toes.

The woman said the man, who looked about 25 years old and was well dressed, chased her as she was climbing the stairs of a residential building.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

119722_6632
We’ve all had bad roommate experiences. It’s unlikely any of you did anything similar to what this gent did. As reported by rentonreport.com:

A 28-year-old Renton man was arrested early Sept. 30 after he thrust a samurai sword through his bedroom door his roommate was standing behind.

Say what?

Squeezed on:

email

Does it matter that the conduct did not involve a case? You (and the Pennsylvania Judicial Conduct Board) can make that call. As reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer (at Philly.com):

The Inquirer has reported that [Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus] McCaffery, using a private e-mail account, sent at least 10 messages containing sexually explicit content in 2008 and 2009 to an agent in the Attorney General’s Office. The agent then forwarded the material to dozens of others in the Attorney General’s Office, according to copies of the e-mails.

You can read a lot more here.