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This woman took advantage of the country’s appropriate high-alert status (not the media-stoked fear of an outbreak here) in a really, really stupid way.  As reported by 610wtvn.com:

There is no word on possible charges involving a Columbus woman who admitted faking Ebola-like symptoms in order to get an ambulance to her South Champion Ave. home sooner.

The woman, who hasn’t been identified, initially told a 911 dispatcher that she had traveled to west Africa.

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Most people appreciate just being told the truth. Police officers are no exception. So enough with the excuses already! But if you want to read some whoppers, check this out, as reported by The Cambridge News:

Cambridgeshire police have released the raft of bizarre excuses told to officers who have stopped motorists.

Here we go …

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Someone hits your car on purpose. Of course, you get all the pertinent information. If you’re this guy, that would not be the license plate, type of car, etc. Per sfgate.com:

A woman intentionally rammed her car into a man’s car while arguing over a parking spot in the Haight, but the victim was so focused on her low-cut dress that all he could describe to officers afterward were her breasts, San Francisco police said Thursday.

The woman drove away after hitting the man’s car at Haight and Cole streets at 5 p.m. Tuesday, said Park Station Officer Al Wu. The man couldn’t tell officers what kind of car it was, let alone supply a license-plate number, but he “was able to give a detailed description of the suspect’s cleavage,” police said.

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At least according to Merriam-Webster, a “fetish” is defined as “an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion,” or “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.” Given this man’s behavior, think he has a toe fetish? Per The China Daily:

A woman in Dalian, Liaoning province, was attacked by a man who wanted to bite her toes.

The woman said the man, who looked about 25 years old and was well dressed, chased her as she was climbing the stairs of a residential building.

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We’ve all had bad roommate experiences. It’s unlikely any of you did anything similar to what this gent did. As reported by rentonreport.com:

A 28-year-old Renton man was arrested early Sept. 30 after he thrust a samurai sword through his bedroom door his roommate was standing behind.

Say what?

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Does it matter that the conduct did not involve a case? You (and the Pennsylvania Judicial Conduct Board) can make that call. As reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer (at Philly.com):

The Inquirer has reported that [Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus] McCaffery, using a private e-mail account, sent at least 10 messages containing sexually explicit content in 2008 and 2009 to an agent in the Attorney General’s Office. The agent then forwarded the material to dozens of others in the Attorney General’s Office, according to copies of the e-mails.

You can read a lot more here.

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Sure, it’s illegal. But can it possibly be that this is a judicious use of police manpower? Unlikely. As reported by The Morning Call (Lehigh Valley, PA):

A detective from the Monroe County district attorney’s office made arrangements to meet Brian K. Ryder Friday after reading his ad on Craigslist from a male seeking a female to “smoke with.” The ad read, “Any females into 420? It’s nice out. Let’s go smoke. Email if interested.”

Investigators made arrangements to meet Ryder at the Stroud Mall on Route 611, but Detective Joseph Coddington pulled him over in his pickup truck prior to arriving at the mall. Ryder was charged with possession with intent to delivery marijuana, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He also was cited for having an expired inspection on his truck.

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The Juice is just sayin’ that, before you call the cops for their help, you might want to at least check your pockets! Doh! As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):

George Jordan Williams, 33, of Queen Creek, Arizona, called police from Scarlett O’Hara’s, 3201 S. Caroyln Ave., claiming several thousand dollars was stolen from him at the club.

Okay. Clearly a call to the police is a reasonable next step … or is it?

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The Juice is feeling it just thinking about pounding 20 beers. But that’s exactly what a 26-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan man did. Fortunately he did not succeed with what he set out to do after the binge. He did do some damage though, including a pretty disgusting grand finale. As reported by mlive.com:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Assistant Chief Brian Uridge said the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson [Plaza Hotel & Suites] ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to “get enough courage to commit suicide,” Uridge said.

The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drive out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.

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Regular Juice readers will, oddly enough, recognize this scenario from a recent post.  This, however, led to much more serious consequences for the perps. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Sometimes, good detective work and weeks of investigation are needed to nab suspected criminals. But other times all investigators need is 30 minutes to listen in on an accidental pocket dial to a 911 dispatch center.

That’s the reason 55-year-old Donna Knope, 32-year-old Jason Knope and 41-year-old Thomas Stallings spent their weekend in the Volusia County Branch Jail on drug charges.