A crowbar? Really? The Juice wouldn’t waste your valuable time on such an ordinary crime. Maybe a stapler, a tape measure, or a soda can? Nope. You would never, never, ever guess this woman’s weapon of choice. As reported at thelocal.de:
The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.
The Juice can hear the cogs slowly beginning to turn in your brain.
Unfortunately, The Juice is not referring to the kind of cavity you get in your teeth. It’s a cavity you might use to try to smuggle drugs – in this case A LOT of drugs! As reported by The Jamaica Online Star:
The court was told that on October 17, approximately 3:10 p.m., [forty-three-year-old Kevin] Peart [from Birmingham, England] was preparing to board a flight to Birmingham at the Sangster International Airport, when an officer on duty noticed that he was behaving suspiciously.
If you were “carrying” what Mr. Peart was, it would be impossible to NOT behave suspiciously.
They wouldn’t buy this woman’s plasma the other day. And based on what she did after being rejected, she’ll be peddling her plasma elsewhere in the future. As reported by news4jax.com:
A woman is in the hospital but she soon could be heading to jail after she intentionally drove her car into a Westside plasma donation center, sending eight other people to the hospital, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.
Yikes!
Most folks know there are cameras EVERYWHERE. The US is becoming more like the UK this way with each passing day. Apparently this Florida woman is not aware of the phenomenon. Per the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office:
A Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputy arrested a Port Charlotte Target employee Tuesday after security went back through surveillance video that showed her steal cash from her register 14 times totaling $2,300. Arrested for Grand Theft was Melissa A. Sayre, 29, 11798 Van Loon Avenue, Englewood East.
14 times!
Now you can say you remember when “The Zebra” hit his first bank. Here’s how it went down, per The New Hampshire Union Leader:
Police are searching for a man they say robbed a bank while wearing a zebra print dress.
The Zebra is at large!
They break. They get lost. You want one for your car, your office, another room in your apartment or house. But even in your darkest, lowest-phone-charge hour, you wouldn’t do this. As reported in the police blotter for the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) at brooklynpaper.com:
A brute beat a woman over the head and stole her cellphone charger on Bay 37th Street on Oct. 20, according to NYPD officials.
The woman was walking between 86th Street and Benson Avenue in Gravesend at 10:30 pm when the galoot ran up behind her, struck her in the back of the head, and snatched the charger from her pocket, police said.
Before you go getting up in this poor woman’s grill, take note that it is called a “drive-in”. And that’s just what she did. This is actually more common than you would think. The Juice had a case recently involving a woman who did the exact same thing, but she did a helluva lot more damage. Anyway, as reported by The Daily News (Galveston County, Texas):
No one was hurt when a SUV smashed through the wall of the Sonic Drive-In, 1169 West Main Street, Tuesday afternoon.
Initial reports from League City police indicate that an 83-year-old woman was next door at the Popeye’s restaurant. As she was pulling out of that parking lot, she put her foot on the gas pedal instead of the break of her Honda Pilot, police said.
You own a bar in a college town. Seriously, who would think that the cops would ever stop in to make sure your patrons are of age? And anyway, it’s not like the joint is filled with kids. Er, what’s that you say? How many? As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):
Village police say a compliance check at Backstreets, Market Street, resulted in 46 underage patrons being charged with trespass.
46!!!!! Uh-oh.
Simmer down there fellas. Or put some gloves on and hit a punching bag. But don’t do this! As reported by Per The Hamilton Spectator [Ontario]:
According to police, a man was driving his car on Mud St. W Friday when the passenger in a truck driving by in the next lane threw something out the window, striking his car.
He honked, but the truck did not stop. When the two vehicles pulled up to a red light, the truck passenger got out and waved a knife at the man in the car.
Hey, the guy is an entrepreneur. You’re going to bust him for renting houses? Well, yes. As reported by cleveland.com:
Danny Heaggans [age 33] illegally gained access to at least four vacant, abandoned or foreclosed homes [on Bedford, Ohio] and installed locks to make it look like he had legitimate access, police said.
Heaggans made repairs and showed the properties to people looking to rent a house, according to police.
