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police helicopter
You’re up in a police helicopter, looking down at 3 plants on a guy’s deck. Can you really identify them as marijuana? Really? That’s what they’re saying, as reported by The Times at nj.com:

Peter R. Taylor, 23, was allegedly growing the marijuana on the back deck of his home on the 100 block of Coachman Drive. The plants were spotted by the state police Marijuana Eradication Unit during a helicopter flight yesterday, officials said.

“He saw the helicopter and attempted to pull the plants and destroy them,” said Sgt. Gregory Williams, a State Police spokesman.

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The Juice is not supporting burglary. But if you’re going to destroy property to steal property, shouldn’t you at least steal stuff that is worth more than the cost of the damage you did to break in? This gent abides by no such rule.

You’ll find the source, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, here.

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laser lasers
Sure, lasers are cool. Maybe point it on the floor and have your cat chase it around. Or just mess around with it inside. But whatever you, don’t do this! As reported by The Charleston Post and Courier:

A 33-year-old man will spend more than three years in federal prison after he admitted to shining a laser into the cockpit of two news helicopters.

3+ years! Sure the time is the worst thing, but what about the inevitable question: “So, what are you in for?”

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squirrel squirrels

Come on. Zombies are so slow and easy to kill. But squirrels? Those little varmints are fast.  As reported at WashingtonPost.com

Ashburn [Virginia] , Partlow Road, Oct. 21. A caller reported that a squirrel was chasing and attacking children on a playground. An animal control officer observed the squirrel gather food and store it under a swing set. There was no sign of aggression. The officer told people there about wildlife hibernation habits.

Too much coffee? Too much TV? Too many shrooms? Anyway, here’s the source.

 

 

 

 

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referee ref football
It’s often said that security guards are wannabe cops. Have you ever heard that said about refs? Me either. But check this out, as reported by wwl.com:

An apparent argument over crowd control between high school football referees and members of the Covington Police Department led to the arrest of two members of the officiating crew.

You probably saw that coming. So what happened?

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angel
Why would your appearance require that you are always on your best behavior, or at least on the right side of the law? The answer will soon be abundantly clear.  As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

Kenneth Dewain Parker was in an argument with a woman on Oct. 26, according to the arrest report. Parker was in an argument with the victim when he allegedly hit her in the face.

The victim also told Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies that she had bruises on her arms where Parker “forcefully grabbed her,” the report said. A witness, who had called deputies, described Parker hitting the victim.

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car%20accident.jpg
While there is never a good time to be involved in a car accident, as will be made abundantly clear, some times are definitely worse than others. As reported at nj.com:

A 2002 white Mercury Mountaineer rolled over into the center grass median and struck the guardrail on July 29, with police and emergency workers responding around 12:56 p.m. Driver Paulette Murray, 48, of Brooklyn, N.Y., told police she failed to control the SUV after another car cut her off, authorities said.

Yikes, a roll over.

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no parking sign park
At some point in your time behind the wheel, you found a great parking spot and said “Wow, we couldn’t get any closer than this!” Well, you were wrong, as this gent proved. As reported by This Is Lancashire:

A driver has been arrested after his car ploughed into a pub in Bolton town centre.

The male driver of the silver discovery vehicle was arrested and led away from the scene of the crash, which occurred just after 5pm at the Dog and Partridge pub in Manor Street.

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crowbar crow bar
A crowbar? Really? The Juice wouldn’t waste your valuable time on such an ordinary crime. Maybe a stapler, a tape measure, or a soda can? Nope. You would never, never, ever guess this woman’s weapon of choice. As reported at thelocal.de:

The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.

The Juice can hear the cogs slowly beginning to turn in your brain.