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So nice of you to pull over here! As reported by The Williamson Daily News (Williamson, West Virginia):

Patsy L. Kidwell, 48, and Ransom Lee Endicott, 52, both of Delbarton, were arrested after officers allegedly received a call notifying them that two individuals were unconscious in the front seat of a white Chevrolet. The car was parked outside the state police Williamson detachment, within walking distance of Trooper First Class J.K. Harris, who saw both defendants, seemingly unconscious in the vehicle.

So it turns out it wasn’t such a good place to pull over.

Harris woke both individuals and asked them to get out of the vehicle. Endicott got out of the car first and allegedly was unsteady on his feet with slurred speech. Harris conducted an officer safety pat down on Endicott, at which time a hard object reportedly was felt in the right front jeans pocket of the defendant. Endicott advised the officer that the object was a bottle of pain pills, according to the police report.

Both defendants performed each of the three standardized sobriety field tests unsatisfactorily and were placed under arrest for driving under the influence.

 

 

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Anyone who expects doctors to be perfect is just being unreasonable. Like folks in all other lines of work, doctors make mistakes. But this is a mistake that should never happen, as The Juice is certain you will agree. As reported by The Philippine Star:

A 3-year-old girl [in Zamboanga City, Philippines], who was clinically pronounced dead woke on Sunday during her funeral service in a church in Aurora, Zamboanga del Sur, police said.

How could this happen?

[Police Senior Inspector] Teelan said while they were not the proper authority to confirm the medical case, but based on the accounts of the child’s parents, the 3-year old girl experienced severe fever for days and was brought to the clinic in the town for medical attention last Friday.

“During that time, the attending clinic personnel and physician confirmed that the young patient had no more pulse and was clinically dead last Saturday morning about 9 a.m.,” Teelan said.

Wrong.

A video footage uploaded to an online social network went viral online, showing the parents of the girl removing her from her wooden coffin while mourners appeared to be in the state of commotion.

Not surprisingly …

… the family which is now seeking medical consultation to a well-equipped hospital in the province.

Here’s the source.

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The Juice believes in being totally honest when he gets pulled over. Recently, when an officer pulled him over and asked if he knew he was going 71 mph on a 50 mph road, he replied “only 71?” But seriously folks, as reported by news1130.com (Vancouver, BC):

Police are highlighting the seriousness of drunk and distracted driving by telling us about some of the silly excuses people give them while breaking the law.

The cops are hearing things like: “You are wasting your time, I have driven way more drunk than this!” and “If you impound my car I won’t be able to get to court tomorrow and it will be your fault.”

Brilliant!

“The other one I like is the name-dropper story. So, a vehicle is pulled over and the driver immediately starts listing off Abbotsford Police officers that he knows very well. And he doesn’t recognize that one of the names he offers is actually the officer that stopped him. He goes into the background of this officer and the punchline is finally on him because the officer says, ‘I’m actually one of the names that you’ve listed, and I have no idea who you are.’”

Doh! You’ll find the source here.

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It’s not uncommon for people to try to shoplift by putting items down their pants. But an entire rack of ribs? Twice? Truth, as reported by The Sentinel (Pennsylvania).

After going three months without getting in trouble, a Carlisle man was back in police custody Sunday afternoon after trying to steal a rack or ribs by sticking them in his pants.

Carlisle police said Donald Noone, 65, attempted to pull the same stunt on May 22 at the Giant on South Spring Garden Street.

This next bit will shock you.

Both times, Noone was found to be “highly intoxicated” when he tried to steal the meat, police said.

 

 

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It’s really nice when siblings hang out together. After this stunt, they’re going to be doing something else together that’s not so nice. As reported by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office (Florida):

Two sisters from Miami were both arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol Saturday night because after being stopped by deputies, they switched seats in the vehicle they were traveling in.

That there was some quick thinking. Why settle for one DUI when you can get two?

Deputy Juan Martin-Reyes followed the Volkswagen northbound from the 23 mile marker to the 30 mile marker of the highway just before 11 p.m. He observed the vehicle swerving, increasing and decreasing speeds and braking suddenly. He turned on his lights and siren and the car stopped suddenly in the lane of traffic. Through the back window he could see the driver and passenger quickly switch seats.

Deputy Spencer Curry arrived as back up. The deputies had both 18 year old Steffany Miranda and 24 year old Vanessa Miranda perform field sobriety exercises. Both girls had trouble performing the exercises and were, according to the deputies, visibly impaired and smelled of alcohol.

And if you’re wondering how the second sister could get a DUI since the car was stopped …

Because both girls were, at some point, in control of the vehicle behind the steering wheel with the keys in the ignition, they were both charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

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The source for today’s Juice? A Change.org petition that came The Juice’s way. No doubt this law will end homosexuality in Alabama… Clearly a class adhering to the requirements of this law cannot be called sex “education.” The law is Section 16-40A-2 of the Alabama Code:

MINIMUM CONTENTS TO BE INCLUDED IN SEX EDUCATION PROGRAM OR CURRICULUM

… (c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements:

… (8) An emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.

This is just stupid and wrong on so many levels. Who is this “general public” referring to? Not the American public.  And “homosexual conduct is a criminal offense”? Sure, some of it is (sodomy). But what about two men holding hands? You can read the full text of this small-minded, bigoted law here.

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As reported in The Huffington Post, Patrick Syring, who “apparently” is a former State Department foreign service officer, really, really dislikes Arabs and the Arab American Institute. (He was indicted for threatening the staff at the Arab American Institute.) Here are a few voice-mails and e-mails:

[Voice mail to the Institute:] Hello, I’m Patrick I’m in Arlington VA, and I think James Zogby is worse than Osama bin Laden. Since he supports Hezballah, he’s an anti-Semitic motherfucker, and the only good Arab is a dead Arab.
[Voice mail to an Institute employee:] Hello Valerie, you fucking Arab American shit. James Zogby and you are all Hezballah supporters. The only good Arab is a dead Arab… You God [inaudible] bitch.

[E-mail to two Institute employees; all e-mails sent to work addresses:] Zogby’s anti-Semitic, anti-American statements (and those of the AAI in general) are abhorrent, repulsive and disgusting. The only good Lebanese is a dead Lebanese (as the IDF knows and is carrying out in its security operations, God bless them.) Fuck the Arabs and Fuck James Zogby and his wicked Hizbollah brothers. They will burn in hellfire on this earth and in the hereafter.

Oh, and there’s plenty more here.

 (He was convicted and sentenced to a year in prison.)

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Since the Juice is against school dress codes, how do you think he feels about “hair” codes? Check this out, from The Hindu (the “Online edition of India’s National Newspaper”):

In a bizarre incident, a teacher snipped off the hair of five students in a school in Burdwan district of West Bengal for allegedly not adhering to the institute’s code of conduct related to hairdo.

The teacher, Manisha Ray, cut short the hair of the students for violating the rule of tying two plaits and coming with with a single plait during the morning prayers. As news of the incident spread, irate guardians entered the school premises in protest. They locked the teachers in a room and demanded Ms. Ray’s suspension. The police arrested Ms. Ray following complaints by the guardians of the students whose hair was cut off.

“We have arrested the teacher, based on a complaint. Charges against her will be framed under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code,” Burdwan’s Additional Superintendent of Police Utpal Naskar said.

Members of the school’s managing committee later suspended Ms. Ray indefinitely from service.

Paws (and scissors) off the hair.

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You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

One question for the complainant: Really? The Juice literally gets an email like this weekly! Hey lady – stop wasting the cop’s time!

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Do not read this within 30 minutes of eating. It’s gross. It’s about diarrhea. As reported by Syracuse.com, there was a dispute between two roommates about said diarrhea.

Palmieri, 59, was suffering from severe diarrhea March 10 in the apartment he shared at 473 Pleasantview Ave. with David Utt, 62, according to a Syracuse police report.

“I asked him to use the bathroom fan so that it wouldn’t smell up the house,” Utt said in a written statement. The request upset Palmieri.

Seems like a reasonable request to The Juice.

“Thanks for the sympathy,” Palmieri said, according to Utt.

“It’s common courtesy,” Utt replied.

Uh-oh.

Palmieri then vowed to “crap all over the house, the bathroom and my car,” Utt told police.

Oh it’s on.

Palmieri got into his pajama bottoms, then went outside, Utt told police. Utt was suspicious because Palmieri doesn’t smoke.

During the night, Utt discovered Palmieri had defecated “all over the floor in the bathroom and in the hallway near the bathroom,” Utt’s statement said.

The next morning, Utt opened the door to his 1997 Lincoln and saw “that Palmieri had, in fact, defecated over the back seat of his car, on the leather seats,” a police report said.

Utt had to drive the feces-laden car because he had to get to a doctor’s appointment that morning, he said. When he got home, he gave Palmieiri five minutes to start cleaning it all up.

Yeah. Think that happened?

“How does it feel to be (expletive) on?” Palmieri asked, Utt told police. Then Palmieri punched him in the face, Utt said.

So you shit all over the place, and then you punch him in the face?

Utt told police he doesn’t know how much it will cost him to have the car professionally cleaned, the report said.

Just junk it pal. You’re wasting your time.

Palmieri told police in a phone interview that he didn’t want to give his version of the story or return to the scene, “adding that he has diarrhea,” said the report written by Officer Shawn Prue.

The Juice hopes the new roommate has a bad sniffer. The charges?

Palmieri was charged with second-degree harassment and fourth-degree criminal mischief.

Here’s the source.