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laundromat

It’s a helluva lot better than cleaning the bathroom, but nobody likes doing laundry. That’s why some people, even if they have a washing machine, take their clothes to a laundromat to have them washed and folded. For very particular folks, this is a bad idea. That brings us to today’s story, as reported by The South Jersey Times (via nj.com):

Unhappy with the wash and fold service, a disgruntled customer attacked the attendant at a local laundromat early Thursday morning, police said.

Yup. This jerk physically attacked her.

When [the police] arrived the officers were told an unidentified man had paid for a wash and fold service but when he came to pick up the clothing he was unhappy with the work which cost him $48, authorities said.

The female attendant told officers that the customer was upset and demanded his money back. The man allegedly made several threats and as the attendant attempted to retreat to an office to call police, the suspect forced the door open and struck the woman in the abdomen, authorities said.

What kind of man would punch someone in the stomach over some laundry? Hopefully we’ll find out …

The suspect then picked up his money he had placed on the counter and fled from the laundromat.

You’ll find the source here.

 

 

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dating date

Dating is always a crapshoot.  This date, though, ended in a very strange way. As reported in the police blotter from the 94th Precinct (Greenpoint–Northside) via brooklynpaper.com:

The victim said she went on a date with the guy and, at the end of the night, he turned cretinous because she did not want to spend the night.

While they were standing between Union Avenue at 1:15 am, the galoot grabbed her phone out of her hand and ran into the subway, she told police.

Bet when the check came he “forgot his wallet.”

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good neighbors

It’s safe to say these folks won’t be going to each other’s house for dinner any time soon. As reported by The Daytona Beach News-Journal:

A brawl between two families in Oak Hill on Sunday night included punching, scratching and a pit bull named Ellie May and her master both biting their neighbor at the same time, a Volusia County sheriff’s report shows.

Yikes! You can read a ton more, and see a mug shot, here.

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finger wag wagging

If it’s a “he said/she said” occurrence, the party who has the burden of proof is usually going to lose, even more so in a criminal case because of the higher burden of proof. So if a person alleges that another person threatened him, that will be a tough case to prosecute, right? Generally, yes. But what if, oh, say the threat was made to a police officer? Doh! As reported by The Times And Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

“On Wednesday, March 26, a deputy sheriff responded to Gregory Complete Auto where Randall Dale Gregory indicated batteries and tires had been stolen from vehicles at his auto shop. While the deputy sheriff was taking the report, Gregory began making statements that ‘the OCSO is going to catch hell from him’ and that ‘he is going to drive a tank up the Sheriff (sic) Office and blow it up,’” Williams said. “Gregory continued making threats including against Chief Kinsey and saying that he would go to his home and steal all of his things. Gregory told the responding deputy sheriff ‘that if he observes any deputy sheriff or Sheriff Leroy Ravenell on his property if he is there ‘he will shoot them,’” Williams said.

Talk about stepping on your, er, that is, shooting yourself in the foot.

Gregory, 54, of 2045 Indigo Drive, was arrested Friday without incident and charged with threatening a public official and threatening public property.

You can find the source, and a mug shot, here.

 

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bank teller

This teller must have missed the part in teller training about depositing funds by account number. (Who would do it by name?) Well, it turns out there is at least one teller out there who does it by name. And oh man is that teller in the soup. As reported by The Athens Banner-Herald (Athens, Georgia):

 The error occurred March 7, when a Madison County man went into First Citizens Bank on U.S. Highway 29, Hull, and made a $31,000 deposit, but because there are several people by the same name with accounts at the bank, the teller put the money into the wrong account, according to the sheriff’s report.

Doh!

On March 17, the victim called the bank about the money missing from his account. Tellers looked into the matter and discovered the error, deputies said. However, by that time, the 18-year-old Hull man who wrongly received the money had withdrawn $20,000 cash and spent $5,000 using his ATM card, deputies said.

Can you imagine the look on that young man’s face when he saw what his balance was? Best day ever!

The suspect came back into the Hull branch on March 18 wanting to withdraw more money, but a teller informed him of the mistake and asked him to return the money, deputies said. The teen then insisted the money was from an inheritance.

Quick thinking lad.

A deputy went to the teen’s house, where the teen again said he thought the money came from his grandmother’s estate.

It’s the best story I’ve got, and I’m sticking to it!

The deputy told the teen the bank wants the money back as soon as possible, so the teen told the officer he would go to the bank and try to settle the matter without going to jail, according to the report.

However, the teen never showed back at the bank and banking officials told investigators last week that if the suspect didn’t return the money, they would prosecute.

No charges have been filed yet, Investigator Doug Martin said Tuesday.

“Yet.” Here’s the source.

 

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no%20dancing.jpg

Remember the movie “Footloose,” about the town that outlawed dancing? Although South Carolina doesn’t ban dancing all the time, there is this restriction:

Title 52 – Amusements and Athletic Contests
CHAPTER 13.
DANCE HALLS

SECTION 52-13-10. Operation on Sunday forbidden.

It shall be unlawful for any person to keep open or admit persons to any public dancing hall owned or operated by him or to allow any person to continue thereat between the hours of twelve o’clock, midnight, Saturday and twelve o’clock, midnight, Sunday, and all such places shall be and remain closed to the public between such hours. The violation of the provisions of this section shall subject the offender to a fine of not less than ten nor more than fifty dollars for the first offense and for the second offense not less than fifty dollars nor more than one hundred dollars or imprisonment for thirty days.

Yup, it’s on the books. You’ll find the law here.

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drunk%20driving%20urinal%20cake%20call%20for%20a%20ride.jpg

If you are convicted of driving under the influence SIX times, you should be doing a hell of a lot more time than this bloke. As reported by phillyburbs.com:

A Warrington man will have to spend 11½ to 23 months in the Montgomery County prison for his sixth drunken driving offense.

Robert Cuthbert, 47, of the 1200 block of Folly Road, also will have to serve an additional three-year probation sentence after he completes his parole time.

Assistant District Attorney Nathan Schadler on Friday explained that the reason for the stiff sentence is because this is Cuthbert’s sixth driving under the influence conviction.

“Stiff sentence” my arse. And check out how drunk he was. “He had way too many,” said Schadler, noting that Cuthbert had a blood alcohol percentage of at least 0.243 percent. That is three times the state’s legal driving limit of 0.08 percent.

That, Juice readers, is shitfaced.

“Hopefully this sentence sends a strong message to the public and to him that we will do what has to be done to protect our highways from drunken drivers,” said Schadler.

Strong message? More like, you can turn your car into a death machine over and over and over and over and over again, and still get just 1-2 years.

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aaa battery batteries

When you hear the word “battery” you think of 2 things:  “Hey, do you have a AAA battery?” Or you think of someone getting the ass kicked.  The Juice is quite confident that you would not think of something like this.  Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was charged with battery after he poured water on a woman during an argument, an arrest report indicates.

Yes, water.

The man, who is 39 and lives in Niceville, admitted to Niceville Police officers he poured water on the woman during their spat and told officers to take him to jail.

As you wish.

The charge was a misdemeanor.  His plea date is April 22.

Sounds like a candidate for the litter patrol, and maybe some anger management counseling.

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marijuana smell odor

Certainly most people are not dumb enough to just send weed through the mail without trying to mask the smell.  So the question is, does the masking agent smell stronger than the weed? Well, as reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Eight packages filled with marijuana were discovered at a mail sorting facility in Hazelwood, Mo. when workers there noticed the boxes smelled like pot.

Wait, you smelled the pot? But we masked that, dagnabbit!

The packages, which were addressed to residences in Godfrey and Bethalto, also contained dryer sheets that were apparently intended to mask the smell of the drugs. The boxes were marked with a fictitious return address in California.

Doh! At least they didn’t put their own return address on the packages! But it may not be over yet because …

Postal workers and the Metropolitan Enforcement Group of Southwestern Illinois are investigating the case.

Here’s the source.

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roadrunner%20coyote%20acme.jpg

If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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