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Yes, incredibly, this is a real story. As reported by myfoxdetroit.com:

Three Bloomfield Hills kids who refused an order by a judge to go to lunch with their father have been ordered to a juvenile detention facility.

“I felt like I was watching them be executed,” said Maya Tsimhoni.

The Tsimhoni family was in Oakland County’s family court for a hearing on supervised parenting time when Judge Lisa Gorcyca took matters into her own hands.

Read the court transcript as the judge as she sent the three kids to Children’s Village

June 24 court transcripts showed how upset the judge was. She ordered the Tsimhoni kids ages 14,10 and 9 to have a “healthy relationship” with their father.

She criticized them for avoiding him and even compared them to Charles Manson and his cult. Gorcyca then ordered the children to apologize and have a nice lunch with their dad.

When they refused, Gorcyca held them in contempt and had each child hauled off to Children’s Village’s juvenile hall – until they are 18 years old.

It’s been two weeks, and they’re still there. You can read a lot more here.

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rock paper scissors

Who would think of “rock, paper, scissors” as a gambling game? A Seattle man did (it’s unlikely he will again, at least for a while), and was looking for takers. He found one, and it didn’t end well. As reported by komonews.com:

King County prosecutors claim Michael Langley stabbed at another man after his friend lost a $1 bet on a street corner rock-paper-scissors match. Langley, 36, has been charged with second-degree assault in the June 29 incident.

Prior to the incident, the alleged victim had been soliciting rock-paper-scissors opponents near the intersection of Broadway and East Pike Street in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood.

A friend of Langley apparently took the gambler up on a game shortly after 3:20 a.m., and lost his dollar. While Langley’s friend was sanguine after the loss, police say Langley saw red.

“I’m going to stab you in the (expletive) neck,” Langley told the other man after demanding a refund for his friend, according to charging papers.

Langley then pulled a folding knife and lashed out, slashing inched from the other man’s body and slicing his “rock-paper-scissors for a dollar” sign, a Seattle Police Department detective said in charging papers. The alleged victim gave the other man back his dollar and fled.

According to charging papers, Langley was still near the QFC grocery store at the corner when the alleged victim returned moments later. He identified Langley as his assailant to police at the scene.

Police arrested Langley inside the QFC. According to charging papers, Langley was carrying a knife matching the description given by the victim.

Questioned by police, Langley claimed he threatened to burn the other man’s sign but denied stabbing at him, the detective said in court papers. Langely is alleged to have stuffed two bottles of wine into his pants during his visit to the QFC.

Langley has been jailed since the incident on $80,000 bail. He has not yet entered an initial plea.

Wow. That’s a lot of jack. Here’s the source.

 

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number ten 10 address

I’m not drunk! I know where I live! It’s No. 10 right there. Well, not exactly. As reported in The Moultrie News Police Blotter:

A drunk guy got a ride home one night to his apartment and told the driver he lived in apartment No. 10, according to a report.

He got a ride home! Excellent.

The guy went to the door and the female driver tried to use his key to open his door for him, but it would not work. She then knocked and the real person who lived in that particular apartment opened the door, the report said.

The driver asked the resident if she knew the man and she said she did not.

At this point, the driver told the man not to go anywhere and she ran to her car to get something. The resident had closed and locked her door at this point.

Hmm.

When the driver came back, she saw that the drunk man had kicked in the door, according to the report.

Police were called and noted that the man was extremely intoxicated.

They could not get any clear answers from him, but did determine he lived in apartment No. 10, just not in this particular building, the report said.

Doh!

The property management company agreed to press charges for damages to the door and the suspect was hauled off to jail for drunkenness in public, where the doors are too strong to kick in.

 

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courthouse

This fellow was indeed born free and naked, but he’s in the slammer now (and clothed). He’s fortunate not to have been held in contempt. Perhaps the judge liked his singing. As reported by The Irish Times:

A 49-year-old man from Youghal in Co Cork, who constantly sang ‘Born Free’ when he appeared in court in Derry on Monday, has been remanded in custody.

Nicholas Roper was arrested in in Altnagelvin Hospital on Saturday night and charged with disorderly behaviour in the hospital’s accident and emergency department.

When his case was called at the city’s Magistrate’s Court, a police sergeant told District Judge Barney McElholm that the defendant had stripped naked in a police van and was refusing to come into the court room.

Mr McElholm said if it became necessary for him to hold the court hearing in front of the defendant standing outside the police van, he would do so.

Several minutes later the defendant appeared in the dock fully clothed.

As the court clerk read out the charge of disorderly behaviour to the defendant, the defendant started singing ‘Born Free’ and continued to sing the song throughout the hearing.

He ignored questions from the court clerk, from the sergeant and from the judge.

The defendant refused to say if he was guilty or not guilty of the charge. Mr McElholm said because each defendant was entitled to the presumption of innocent, a not guilty plea would be entered on his behalf.

When asked if he wished to apply for bail, the defendant continued singing and again ignored the question.

Mr McElholm said he was not refusing bail, but he was remanding the defendant in custody because he had not applied for bail.

The judge then asked the prison officers present to ensure the defendant was clinically assessed when in custody.

The police sergeant told the court that after his arrest the defendant was clinically assessed by appropriate medical experts who said he was fit to appear in court.

The defendant was remanded in custody until July 20th and Mr McElholm informed him that he was entitled to apply to the High Court for bail.

Click here for the source.

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Lots of people drink too much. Some people go on crime sprees. Not too many people do both simultaneously. Added to the list – a gent from from Wasilla, Alaska. Per The Alaska Dispatch News:

A 27-year-old Fairbanks man faces multiple charges after he robbed a Wasilla coffee stand, pulled a gun on another man, fled from authorities at high speed and drunkenly exposed himself along the Parks Highway, Alaska State Troopers say.

In an online dispatch, troopers wrote that a woman called authorities after she arrived at work around 5:15 a.m. Thursday at the coffee stand, on the Parks Highway at Vine Road. She found a man stealing money and other items from the stand, troopers said.

The woman’s husband confronted the robber, who then pointed a gun at the husband before fleeing in a blue Chevrolet Tahoe, troopers said. When troopers attempted to stop him, the man accelerated to 100 mph; troopers said the pursuit was discontinued near Mile 66 of the highway.

Just before 7 a.m., troopers reported, several people called to report an intoxicated man exposing himself on the side of the highway. When troopers responded, they found 27-year-old Harding Custer, whom they determined was also responsible for the coffee stand break-in and car chase, the dispatch said.

Yikes! Here’s the source.

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old man grandpa

You be the judge. Mr. Moyer “was accused of touching the woman’s chest and buttocks in the Toontown area of the Magic Kingdom.” As reported by clickorlando.com:

“I’m not guilty,” Moyer told the judge. “I haven’t, as the prosecution says, molested or grabbed — maybe unintentionally touched, but that’s as far as it went.

The defense [said] that there were nine other people in the room, including Moyer’s family and other Disney employees who are assigned to watch over the characters, and none of them witnessed anything inappropriate.

“The state wants you to believe this man, in front of all these people, molested this woman. No one saw it. It was never caught on camera,” said defense attorney, Zahra Umansky.

For the state of Florida:

Prosecutors said during the trial that photographs show the Disney cast member pushing Moyer’s hands away from her after he touched her.

The woman playing Minnie Mouse said she did not yell for help because she feared that she could lose her job for being out of character. She did report the incident after Moyer left the area, according to investigators.

The verdict? Guilty. The time?

… 180 days of probation, 50 hours of community service and a $1,000 fine. [Mr. Moyer] also must undergo a mental health evaluation and write a letter of apology to the victim.

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If you thought you could find an expert on anything, you would be wrong.  As reported by HurriyetDailyNews.com:

A Turkish judge has taken full responsibility in a pornography case while acquitting the investigation’s suspects after the court failed to find an “expert on artificial vaginas.”

You’re probably wondering why the judge would need such an expert, aren’t you?

Daily Hürriyet learned that the 26-year-old suspect, a businessman identified as Emre Ş, started to import realistic vaginas and other sex toys into Turkey two years ago. The second suspect, 29-year-old Kadir P., published the photographs of the products on his website for marketing purposes.

The Telecommunications Directorate (TİB), however, took action against the men.

Yes, action had to be taken.  If not, who knows. Those things could end up taking over … their owners’ …

The TİB, which was granted the authority to monitor Internet users and block websites and their content without court permission last year, filed criminal complaints against both men. After the investigation, the prosecutor asked the court to sentence both men to between six months and three years in jail, beside a hefty fine, claiming that they committed the crime of “publicizing obscene graphics, texts or remarks.”

That’s not nothing. But …

The Criminal Court of First Instance at the Anadolu Courthouse in Istanbul acquitted both suspects on July 1.

According to the ruling seen by daily Hürriyet, the judge stressed that he evaluated the artificial vagina “with his own general knowledge” because the court failed to find an expert whose specialty covers the domain.

As such, the judge added, Turkey’s criminal law does not specify which products should be considered obscene, which led him to issue the ruling that acquitted the suspects, who had imported the sex toys legally and advertised them with a parental advisory on their marketing website.

Phew. Back to business. Speaking of business …

More than 81,000 websites, most of them pornographic, are currently blocked in Turkey. According to the monitoring website Engelli Web, 93.6 percent of these websites were blocked by the TİB without a court order.

No court order? Sounds a little extra-judicial. Here’s the source.

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Admittedly there aren’t a lot of plausible explanations for shoplifting. Nevertheless, this one is a real doozy.  As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

An Orangeburg woman was charged with shoplifting at the Walmart on North Road.

Walmart Loss Prevention personnel said the woman attempted to take $487 in groceries and merchandise Tuesday.

A deputy spoke with the woman, who said she attempted to leave the store with the items because she was under the impression that the man who was with her earlier paid for the goods, according to a police incident report.

How is that even possible with groceries? Did “the man” bag them too?

 

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The Juice’s middle school teachers were so boring. Such was not the case for a Houston middle schooler. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

A 42-year-old Aldine middle school teacher who allegedly performed a lap dance for a student on his birthday has been charged with a felony.

Felicia A. Smith, of Spring, is charged with improper relationship with a student, according to a criminal compliant filed in the case.

According to the documents, a Stovall Middle School student told investigators Smith danced for him Feb. 26 in his classroom in front of other students.

He said she placed a chair next to her desk and other students yelled for him to sit down in it. Music began playing and Smith began performing a “full contact lap dance,” according to court records.

The student told investigators Smith sat down in his lap, moved back and forth and touched him all over his body. Toward the end of the dance, according to the documents, the boy said Smith got on her knees and placed her head between his legs.

Happy birthday! You can read a little more, and see a photo of the teach, here.

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A Mississippi state legislator wasted little time in between talking about the crime problem in Jackson to becoming part of it. As reported by wapt.com:

Hours after state Sen. John Horhn hosted a meeting addressing crime problems in Jackson, he was arrested on a DUI charge, police confirmed.

Horhn had called a meeting at the State Capitol earlier in the evening and heard from Jackson residents about crime.

The gent called the meeting! It must not have gone too well.

Horhn was pulled over about 11:30 p.m. Thursday on Beasley Road in front of Callaway High School, a Jackson police official said.

Horhn was booked and released early Friday morning, authorities said.

You’ll find the source, and a photo of the senator, here.