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You go out drinking, and shit happens. But four times? Fuhgeddaboutit. As reported in the The Police Blotter in The Brooklyn Paper [88th Precinct (Fort Greene–Clinton Hill)]:

Some careful crooks emptied the pockets of a man sleeping on the Q train on Dec. 13, according to police.

The groggy 43-year-old straphanger said he was drinking at a bar in the Midtown section of Manhattan and boarded a Brooklyn-bound Q train at 11:30 pm on Dec. 12.

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Occasionally people walk into a police station and confess to crimes. But how often do they walk into the station and commit crimes? Well, it happened recently in Philly, per wpvi tv (Philadelphia, PA).

It was around 11:30 a.m. Sunday when police say 33-year-old Carlen Higgs walked into the Upper Darby police station talking gibberish.

He then allegedly sat down in the station lobby and lit up a marijuana cigarette.

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Perhaps it’s time to attend some of those judicial conferences and retreats? Maybe pick up a few things?  As reported by The Dallas Morning New:

Earlier this year, [Judge Etta] Mullin made news when she refused to allow an attorney into her courtroom because he was wearing shorts. The attorney, James Lee Bright, had just undergone knee surgery and was in a brace. He said the knee brace prevented him from putting on long pants.

Did she think he was faking it? No doubt Mr. Bright would have preferred to appear in court with an intact knee, in long pants. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option.

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Sure, there are many possible explanations. But The Juice is going with this one:  Someone had a REALLY bad day in court at some point in his or her life. As reported by WISC TV (at channel3000.com):

Madison Mayor Paul Soglin said changes are needed to protect employees at the City-County Building after Madison municipal court workers arrived at work Wednesday morning to find one of the courtroom walls covered with excrement.

Kelly McConnell, a judicial support clerk, sent an email and photo to Soglin, Dane County Executive Joe Parisi, Madison Police Chief Mike Koval and many other public officials detailing her frustrations.

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loud music

If you’re neighbor asks you to turn down your window-shaking music and you don’t, you’re just a jerk. If a cop asks you and you don’t? You’re just not real smart.  As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):

Sgt. Steve Boyd was called to 28290 Buffalo Road, Kensington, at 10:13 p.m. Saturday for a report of music so loud it was shaking nearby windows. Boyd stopped on the roadway and the music shook the windows of his patrol car. Steven J. Paul, 47, and Dawn Marie Johnson, 43, were arrested for persistent disorderly conduct after Boyd warned them to turn the music down and they did not.

Hey, maybe they couldn’t hear the officer! Huh? What?

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drunk driver driving
Yeah, it does seem like an oxymoron. Decide for yourself. (Please, MADD, no emails. Of course The Juice is against drunk driving. Is anyone in favor of it?) Here’s the skinny, per TheIndyChannel.com:

Just before 12:30 a.m. Monday, the Jasper County Sheriff’s Department received a 911 from a man reporting that he was drunk and needed to be taken off the roadway.

Say what? He must have been stinking drunk to do that, right?

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Coming forward as a witness is your civic responsibility, even when it’s dangerous. That said, the concept of “honor among thieves” is altogether different. Tell that to this gent, who committed a slew of crimes with his twin brother. As reported by wmbfnews.com (Charleston, South Carolina):

Federal prosecutors say a 30-year-old man was convicted of 39 armed robberies after his twin brother testified against him in court.

Wo. That is a boatload of armed robberies.

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silly string
Regular Juice readers may remember this post about a law in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana that prohibited the sale of silly string within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled.

So, no selling of silly string, only on parade days, and only within 300 feet of the parade route. Well sir, that kind of leniency toward the devil that is silly string will not be tolerated in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts! For in that town, you may not sell or use silly string EVER. To wit:

ARTICLE I

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drinks drunk
How drunk was he? Pretty darned drunk. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Authorities received a call from a Kingston Court homeowner who reported that a man she did not know had walked into her bedroom.

Uh-oh.

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It’s often better for everyone if you can keep the family together. However, it’s also often better for everyone if the family, as a unit, ends. This case, and The Juice means “case” in two senses of the word, appears to fall in the latter category.  As reported by The Argus Leader:

An Iowa jury has found a father and daughter guilty of one count of false imprisonment in a case involving a lock up of the woman’s husband in a Lyon County grain bin.

Well, there was some good news.