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loud music

If you’re neighbor asks you to turn down your window-shaking music and you don’t, you’re just a jerk. If a cop asks you and you don’t? You’re just not real smart.  As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):

Sgt. Steve Boyd was called to 28290 Buffalo Road, Kensington, at 10:13 p.m. Saturday for a report of music so loud it was shaking nearby windows. Boyd stopped on the roadway and the music shook the windows of his patrol car. Steven J. Paul, 47, and Dawn Marie Johnson, 43, were arrested for persistent disorderly conduct after Boyd warned them to turn the music down and they did not.

Hey, maybe they couldn’t hear the officer! Huh? What?

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drunk driver driving
Yeah, it does seem like an oxymoron. Decide for yourself. (Please, MADD, no emails. Of course The Juice is against drunk driving. Is anyone in favor of it?) Here’s the skinny, per TheIndyChannel.com:

Just before 12:30 a.m. Monday, the Jasper County Sheriff’s Department received a 911 from a man reporting that he was drunk and needed to be taken off the roadway.

Say what? He must have been stinking drunk to do that, right?

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Coming forward as a witness is your civic responsibility, even when it’s dangerous. That said, the concept of “honor among thieves” is altogether different. Tell that to this gent, who committed a slew of crimes with his twin brother. As reported by wmbfnews.com (Charleston, South Carolina):

Federal prosecutors say a 30-year-old man was convicted of 39 armed robberies after his twin brother testified against him in court.

Wo. That is a boatload of armed robberies.

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silly string
Regular Juice readers may remember this post about a law in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana that prohibited the sale of silly string within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled.

So, no selling of silly string, only on parade days, and only within 300 feet of the parade route. Well sir, that kind of leniency toward the devil that is silly string will not be tolerated in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts! For in that town, you may not sell or use silly string EVER. To wit:

ARTICLE I

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drinks drunk
How drunk was he? Pretty darned drunk. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Authorities received a call from a Kingston Court homeowner who reported that a man she did not know had walked into her bedroom.

Uh-oh.

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It’s often better for everyone if you can keep the family together. However, it’s also often better for everyone if the family, as a unit, ends. This case, and The Juice means “case” in two senses of the word, appears to fall in the latter category.  As reported by The Argus Leader:

An Iowa jury has found a father and daughter guilty of one count of false imprisonment in a case involving a lock up of the woman’s husband in a Lyon County grain bin.

Well, there was some good news.

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So maybe that’s a little bit of hyperbole. Still, who would steal the baby Jesus? And why, in reporting about the theft, would anyone capitalize the word “Baby”? In any event, as reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

A Rockaway Township husband and wife say they are “heartbroken” after a Baby Jesus was stolen from a nativity scene on their front lawn.

But Elaine and Mark Romito haven’t given up on retrieving the item that has graced the front of their home at 8 Daniel St. during the Christmas season for the past 22 years.

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mother daughter bonding
Shared experiences among a mother and her daughter can be great. Or not. This definitely falls in the latter category. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

According to Manchester police Sgt. Brian O’Keefe, at 7:30 a.m. Friday multiple patrol units responded to 81 Ashland St. to investigate a report of a large fight and spoke with two victims, a 38-year-old mother and her daughter, 18.

The mother, whose name was not released, told police she was operating her motor vehicle in the area of Lowell and Ashland streets when two females refused to exit the road while riding bicycles. According to police, a brief argument ensued and the mother exited her vehicle and confronted the two bike riders.

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no spitting spit
A Minnesota man was thinking no such thought as he got ready to … spit! And he paid the price. As reported by www.kare11.com (Minneapolis):

“I was walking to get some pizza with some buddies,” Thomas said.

The 21-year-old said he was getting over an illness and he spit as he was walking. He quickly learned that’s illegal in Minneapolis.