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sinking ship ships

You’ll probably conclude, as The Juice did, that had loose lips not solved this crime, these gents would have found some other way to make it easy for the cops to close the case. Per The Florida Times-Union:

Two Kings Bay sailors have been arrested in last month’s break-in at a Fernandina Beach art gallery after one was overheard bragging about how the artwork was hanging on his wall.

Doubly brilliant! He bragged about it, and he displayed it on his wall!

Jonathan Ibrahim, 27, and Nathan Mendoza, 23, told police they were drunk and walking back to their vehicle when the Island Art Association’s back door was kicked in May 6, Police Chief Jim Hurley said. Police recovered all five pieces in an apartment where one of the suspects lives, Hurley said.

Hurley said Ibrahim and Mendoza were attempting to use their intoxication as a excuse.

They are charged with burglary, grand theft and criminal mischief and will face disciplinary action by the U.S. Navy, according to the Police Department.

The Navy too. Must have been some valuable art to risk all that.

Hurley said the artwork, which included some scenic beach paintings by city residents, totaled about $1,200 to $2,000. One of the two sculptures was broken beyond repair, the Police Department said.

Doh! Click here for the source, which includes a photo of one of the paintings.

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court gavel

This is certainly not your average breach of contract case! As reported by The New Zealand Herald:

The man, who’s known as Mr N, hired a private investigator to track the sex worker down after he felt he hadn’t had his money’s worth, when his session with the woman ended prematurely.

A private investigator? And then he sued her!

Today’s Sunday Star Times reports Mr N claimed compensation and damages, because the woman breached a contractual agreement.

The result?

The High Court has rejected his claim, and he’s ended up with both legal bills.

Justice Woodhouse described the man’s case as a “sinister use of the courts processes.”

You’ll find the source here.

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dog

That’s not a question this man will want to answer. Why? Because the answer is … dognapping. As reported by The Sun Sentinel:

A canine con man was busted Wednesday after trying to extort an $8,000 cash ransom from a North Naples woman in exchange for her two white 3-year-old Samoyeds, Ava and Snowdot, according to a news release from the Collier County Sheriff’s Office.

On Monday, a man, later identified as Dathan Charles Cyr, sent a text message to the woman asking her if she was still looking for her two lost dogs that had been missing since April 14th when they got lost, deputies said.

The brokenhearted woman reportedly had placed ads in local publications and passed out fliers offering a reward for her lost pooches.

The woman answered the mysterious texter, who claimed to be a Latina female named ‘Diana’ who lived in Immokalee, that she was still looking for her dogs. ‘Diana’ claimed to have the dogs, the release stated.

‘Diana’ then allegedly threatened to shoot the dogs if the woman wouldn’t pay the $8,000 ransom.

You bastard!

So the woman contacted deputies who devised a plan to collar the doggie-napper.

A meeting with ‘Diana’ was arranged, and on Wednesday an envelope was dropped off at a designated location in Naples chosen by ‘Diana.”

Clearly “Diana” never watches TV.

When ‘Diana”, aka Dathan Charles Cyr, showed up five minutes later and snatched the envelope, deputies stationed nearby put a leash on the suspect and later hauled him the The Big Dog House, according to the report.

For added measure a detective dialed the phone number that the suspect used to call the woman…and the cell phone in Cyr’s car’s center console began to ring, according to deputies.

Boom!

Cyr reportedly later ‘fessed up to the crime in an interview with detectives.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot, and photos of the dogs.

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police sign

Either this is not being taught at police academies, or lots of cadets are skipping class. Why? Because over and over, cops bust people for f-bombing. The Juice has blogged about this for years. The police are going to lose every time! As reported by The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

A man from the Washington County town of Houston who repeatedly swore in front of Canonsburg police, and was arrested and charged for it, sued today alleging that the borough maliciously prosecuted him and violated his constitutional rights, including the right to free speech.

And he’ll win. Here’s how it went down.

Richard Pustovrh, 24, was arguing with his employers in September 2012, when they called the police. After an officer arrived, Mr. Pustovrh repeatedly used an obscenity, “to vocalize his feelings and frustration that the situation was” messed up, according to the complaint by Washington, Pa., attorneys Keith Owen Campbell and Travis J. Dunn.

Officer James Spingola warned Mr. Pustovrh not to use the word, but he continued to do so, according to the complaint. The officer then handcuffed Mr. Pustovrh, took him to the station, detained him in a holding cell and charged him, according to the complaint.

Online docket records show that a district judge found Mr. Pustovrh guilty of disorderly conduct and obscene language, but that the charge was withdrawn when he appealed.

Of course it was withdrawn when he appealed! It’s constitutionally protected speech.

Mr. Pustovrh seeks a judicial declaration that the police acted in an unconstitutional fashion, compensation for his distress and punitive damages of $100,000.

Click here for the source.

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Baseball

The urge to honk in certain situations is almost irresistible. This man will definitely resist the urge in the future. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper‘s police blotter for the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach):

The victim said he honked his horn at the pair while they were inside their vehicle ahead of him for not moving fast enough at 12:10 am. The pair got out, the woman carrying a Louisville Slugger, and the man holding a black firearm.

Um. Never mind?

The femme fatale struck the victim on the back, then hit his driver’s-side door and smashed his mirror, a report said. The male then threatened him with a firearm before the two got back in their car and drove off, cops said.

Yikes!

 

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hiding

Clearly this was not the best hiding place. As reported by The Hunterdon Democrat (New Jersey):

Jennifer Keller, 19, of Gettysburg was a passenger in a car stopped on May 31 shortly before 2 a.m. on Route 523 by Sgt. Chris DeWire for alleged erratic driving.

The driver, a York, Pa. woman, told police that she wasn’t familiar with the area, and her GPS unit wasn’t working properly.

Fairly routine so far, but …

Police made “several observations that led them to believe that the driver and her three occupants were engaging in illegal activity,” and they said consent was given to search the car.

Keller had hypodermic needles on her, police said, and was taken to police headquarters.

Uh-oh.

Once there, police said that Dewire “developed reasons to believe Keller was hiding illegal contraband on or in her body.” [They found 300 grams [10.58 ounces!] of cocaine “concealed in a body cavity.”]

Keller was charged with possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, and possession of cocaine and hypodermic needles.

She was taken to the county jail with bail set at $100,000.

If you want any more info, fuhgeddaboutit. That’s all you’re getting. Here’s the source.

 

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bank building

If all bank robberies went down like this, the world would be a better place. Why would The Juice say this? Well, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

The incident happened at 11:33 a.m. Tuesday at TD Bank, 300 Franklin St., in downtown Manchester.

The teller told police the man came into the bank and demanded cash from her, but left before taking any. He did not threaten the teller and he did not have a gun or any other weapon, police said.

No weapon! No threat! No injuries and no loss.

The man is described as having light-colored skin and wearing a white Red Sox T-shirt and gray baseball hat. He fled the bank on foot.

Police released a photo of the man taken from the bank’s video surveillance system.

You’ll find the source here, including the surveillance photo.

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lake

Granted at this point they didn’t have a lot of options.  But still, you really thought you’d get away from the cops by swimming across the lake? As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

Jarrell Beckman, 32; Myron Davis, 31; Johnny Hughes, 22 and Christopher Watson were charged by Missouri authorities with burglary, narcotics trafficking and resisting arrest.

What did they do to warrant these charges?

According to police, the men were burglarizing a home on Wednesday afternoon in Jennings, Mo. when a woman who lived at the house came home to discover them in her living room.

So it’s your garden variety, completely unplanned burglary that blows up. Big surprise. But wait.

The suspects reportedly fled, leading police across the Mississippi River into Illinois, where they crashed on Interstate 70 near Illinois 111, their car ending up partially in a lake.

Officers surrounding them on land, two of the suspects swam for the opposite shore across the algae-covered lake. But they ended up surrendering to officers on the lake shore.

You’re probably wondering about the narcotics charge. Well …

According to police, two large boxes containing about 10 pounds of marijuana were found in the suspects’ car.

Seriously? You burgled a house with a car full of pot? Brilliant! Here’s the source.

 

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

You want your kids to express themselves by drawing. Just not on your passport! As reported by metro.co.uk:

The [4-year-old] child got busy during a recent family trip to South Korea, where he took to the back page of his dad’s Chinese passport with a black pen and drew some really nice pictures of people, animals, and – obviously – added a bit more hair to his dad’s face. Classic.

The only problem is that now his dad is stuck in South Korea because of his unrecognisable documentation, and authorities have warned it is likely he won’t be able to travel home with his son, and the rest of his party.

The picture was originally posted on social networking site Weibo by the father, known only as Chen, alongside a plea for help.

Sounds like he might be spending the rest of his holiday on the phone to the Chinese embassy. Let’s just hope he invests in a nice colour by numbers for his son next time…

You’ll find the source here.

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golf course

Of course you won’t be thrown in the clink for playing golf … unless … you’re on disability. Doh! The Juice despises fraud, and hence is not at all fond of this chap. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Judge Andrew Hamilton told Robert Cave he was an utter liar and cheat as he sentenced him at Nottingham Crown Court yesterday.

Not just a “liar and cheat,” but an utter liar and cheat. Nothing but love for the UK. About the “cheat” part:

Cave, 50, from Cotswold Grove, Mansfield, pocketed £12,604.65 [about $20,000 US] in Disability Allowance over more than three years.

The disability?

He claimed on forms for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) that walking was extremely painful after both his knee caps were removed.

He also said he needed help using the toilet day and night and found it hard to lift pans from the cooker to the sink.

So you’re saying a guy without knee caps, who can barely lift a pan up off the stove, can play golf? Um, yeah.

By the time investigators acted on a tip-off to their fraud-busting hotline, Cave had developed a handicap of 15 and played regularly in competitions.

He was seen loading a golf trolley into the boot of a car in 2009.

Time to get some lighter pans for your kitchen, pal. Of course there were plenty of excuses and explanations.

The court heard his claim was legitimate when it was submitted in 1996, but he should have told the DWP if his condition improved.

Miss Pittman said her client’s condition had since deteriorated.

Blah blah blah. Here’s the source.