Squeezed on:

mary jane marijuana pot reefer weed

There are lots of ways to show your family some love. You might, say, try to visit your grandson in jail and bring Mary Jane. No doubt he would have appreciated it. We’ll never know. As reported in The Dayton Daily News:

Richard Heritz [age 85!], of West Chester Twp., stepped onto the grounds of the Warren Correction Institution Aug. 13 to visit his grandson. Gregory Heritz had been incarcerated at the prison for two years, and had eight more to come from a burglary conviction out of Butler County, according to prison records.

Before Heritz saw his grandson, he was pulled aside by state troopers, who were acting on a tip they had received. A few hours later, Heritz was behind bars as well, accused of attempting to smuggle marijuana onto prison grounds.

Snitch? The crime?

He is charged with attempting to convey drugs on the grounds of a detention facility, a third-degree felony, and possessing criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony.

The time?

If convicted, he could face up to seven years in prison and a $15,000 fine.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

coctail drink

It’s so nice when family and friends get together and just hang out, maybe have a cocktail, right? Before you say yes, remember that there are many kinds of cocktails … Per khou.com:

HFD arson Investigators said the incident started as an argument between [Darius] Owens [26] and a family member during a gathering in the apartment.

Uh oh.

Authorities said Owens, who is related to the apartment’s tenant, left for a while but then returned with a lit Molotov cocktail. Witnesses said he tossed the cocktail into the apartment, which still had three or four people inside.

Yup, that kind of cocktail.

HFD firefighters were called to a complex on Hayes Road at Westheimer Road shortly before midnight Thursday. Several units were already on fire when they got there, but crews managed to put out the blaze before it spread to all 16 units in the building.

Five apartments were destroyed, and a firefighter sustained minor injuries to his hand, but there were no other reports of serious injuries.

What about Mr. Owens?

Bystanders later caught the suspect as he tried to jump a fence, witnesses said. A neighbor told KHOU 11 that residents helped hold Owens down until police arrived.

As firefighters put out the flames, police were busy taking Owens into custody. He was captured on video laughing as he was placed in the back of a patrol car.

You’ll find the source here, including a picture of Mr. Owens smiling.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

stamps

Regular Juice readers know about the various ways people smuggle things into jail, many of which are NSFW. This is a new one on The Juice. As reported by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office (Florida):

Deputies have arrested a Trinity woman after she concealed suboxone strips behind stamps on envelopes and mailed them to two inmates at the Pinellas County. The inmates in turn distributed and sold the controlled substance to other Pinellas County Jail inmates. Since the investigation began on August 1, 2013, deputies intercepted a total of 11 pieces of mail containing the opiate.

Pretty clever. Suboxone is also known as “heroin in a breath strip.” These folks had quite a business going, what with each stamp selling for $20. You can read more, and see the mug shot of smuggler here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

mcdonalds

It’s so easy, in the comfort of your own home, or sitting there in your ergonomic office chair, to say that you wouldn’t have reacted as this Houston woman did. But can you really know with certainty? Exactly. As reported by khou.com:

According to officers with the Houston Police Department, the woman got upset over her drink at a McDonald’s restaurant, caused a disturbance, and then sped off [and allegedly led police on high-speed chase.]  Police said they spotted her older Mercedes with an expired sticker, and they tried to pull her over.

Okay, so perhaps she overreacted a little.

They eventually used spike strips to flatten her tires. She came to a stop on Hillcroft near Richmond.

Yikes. So what happened to her?

Police said the woman would be charged with resisting arrest. [She was taken to jail.]

Here’s the source, including a photo of the unhappy customer.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

cat

All parents get mad at their kids. But this? From the Broadview Heights Police Blotter, as reported by the Sun Star Courier at cleveland.com:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EAST ROYALTON ROAD: At 6:19 p.m. Thursday, a patrolman went to Marymount South Medical Center for a report of domestic violence.

A 17-year-old girl told the officer she and her mother have not been getting along lately. [A major understatement, as you will soon see.] She said she had just had surgery and is staying at home to recover. She said her mother came into her room and they started arguing.

Allegedly, her mother took her cell phone and the two began to wrestle. The mother reportedly spit in her face, pushed her to the ground and started hitting her, causing her head to bleed.

A 21-year-old sister came into the room and allegedly used her body to separate her sister and mother. Her 17-year-old sister claimed their mother spat in her sister’s face and threw a cat at her before leaving the room.

The 17-year-old eventually locked her mother out of the house and called the police. Her friend’s parents came and picked her up and transported her to the medical center.

The mother is charged with domestic violence. The 17-year-old daughter requested a motion for a temporary protection order.

Threw a cat at her!!! Shazam!

Squeezed on:

bride and groom

People get cold feet all the time, and there are several ways to deal with it. You probably haven’t thought of this one, as reported by The Daily Mail:

A fiancé faked his own death by telephoning his partner and pretending to be his father breaking the bad news – so he could get out of his approaching wedding day, it was revealed today.

Wow. A real gentleman this one.

Bride-to-be Alex Lanchester, 23, of Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands, received a phone call just months before her wedding claiming that Tucker Blandford, also 23, of Stamford, Connecticut, had died in a car accident.

She then rang the American’s parents to offer her condolences, but they told her he was alive and well – and Miss Lanchester quickly learned he had faked his death to avoid the wedding.

You can read A LOT more, and see photos of the couple, by clicking here.

Squeezed on:

faucet

As criminal schemes go, this actually isn’t a bad one. So no slamming the victim today. As reported by per NJ.com:

According to Montclair Detective Lt. David O’Dowd, the “diversion-style” burglary hit a Fairview Place home at about 2 p.m. on August 8 when a man wearing beige work clothes and carrying a portable radio rang the doorbell.

It begins …

The man told the homeowner he was working on a water issue in the area, and she let him in to test some of her faucets, police said. After running the water, he led the woman outside to a garden hose, where the two stood for about 30 minutes, police said.

When a voice through the radio said “we’re good to go,” the man left through the yard, police said. When the woman went back inside, police said she found the house ransacked, and $1,000 in cash stolen.

Good to go! And what about the perps?

Police described the suspect who distracted the woman as a 5-feet-10-inch tall white man with brown hair in his 30s. Anyone with information is asked to call Detective L. McCarthy at 973-509-4725.

You’ll find the source here.

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

twitter tweeter

Everyone has heard the old saying about real estate – location, location, location. If you didn’t think that this applies to tweeting, you will now. As reported by The Arab Times:

The Misdemeanor Court sentenced a Twitter user to two months in prison with hard labor and temporary compensation for insulting a poet. Attorney Hussein Al-Asfour, lawyer for the plaintiff, pointed out in court that the accused tweeted statements deemed offensive to the poet; especially since the tweets were about the latter’s personal life. The accused posted the offensive tweets again after the plaintiff announced his plan to contest the parliamentary elections. During investigations, the defendant refuted the allegation that he tweeted the offensive statements; claiming another person used his account. However, when the complaint was referred to the Electronic Crimes Department, it was found out the accused owns the account and he posted the insulting statements repeatedly. Taking these circumstances into consideration, Al-Asfour asked the court to impose the harshest penalty on the accused.

Yikes.

Squeezed on:

love heart

Oh true love. The lengths people will go to. This is a new one on The Juice, and that’s saying something after doing this every day for so many years. As reported by ktvu.com:

A woman in Texas told police she stole a bottle of cheap wine from a gas station so she could get arrested and see her boyfriend in the Williamson County Jail, according to a warrant.

Brilliant!

Alicia Walicke, 22, was charged with theft. Police found her Wednesday next to a Shell gas station drinking a $3.99 bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 she had just stolen from the station, the warrant said.

“Walicke advised her boyfriend was arrested earlier that evening by Cedar Park Officers and it was her fault so she wanted to make things right and go to jail,” according to the warrant.

Two things: That’s the best thing you could come up with? And Mad Dog? (If you’ve never had it, keep it that way!)

Walicke was released from the Williamson County Jail Friday after posting bond on bail set at $5,000, according to court records.

 

Squeezed on:

beer

How is it possible for a 32-year-old man to get busted for underage drinking? Here’s how: Commit the crime [allegedly] when you are underage, then let a few years go by. Doh! As reported by The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

Patrolman Tim McGuire stopped on Route 513 by the Route 78 interchange to help with a disabled vehicle Monday around 7:30 p.m.

Ummm … Thanks Officer, but I’m good?

A computer check on the license of driver Philip Rowles, of Ridley Park, Pa., turned up two arrest warrants issued by Camden City Municipal Court and Woolwich Joint Court in Gloucester County, police said. One warrant was for failing to appear on a previous traffic summons for driving without insurance, the other for possession of alcohol by a person while under the legal age.

Once again reinforcing the notion that, if you just ignore your troubles, they’ll go away! Poof! Here’s the source.