Squeezed on:

sleeping sleep
This gent had a pretty good gig – getting paid while he was sleeping. Then, one fateful night, poof! It all disappeared. As reported in the Police Blotter in The Brooklyn Paper

88th Precinct – Fort Greene–Clinton Hill

A crook swiped a Prince Street building’s security guard’s cellphone on Feb. 3 while he slept on the job, law enforcement officials said.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

suitcase travel airport woman
Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):

ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.

Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?

Squeezed on:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
The Juice often blogs about the misuse of Tasers by the police, but not this time. No, this time the use appears to have been justified – it’s just that the officer’s aim was abysmal! As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An unusual injury followed a confrontation in downtown Orlando last month when police tried to disarm a man outside One Eyed Jack’s sports bar, records show.

Rather than shoot Travis James Rodriguez for not dropping a Glock pistol on Dec. 8, a police officer used an electronic stun gun that delivers 50,000 volts through prongs tethered by tiny wires. One prong punctured Rodriguez’s right eyeball as the Taser automatically discharged a five-second shock, according to Orlando police.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

handcuffs handcuffed
There’s just no way 48-year-old William King was going to get away with the multiple burglaries he recently committed. How do we know this? Per The Toronto Star:

A man burrowed his way through drywall into two salons where he stole cash, cigarettes and a lighter, had a smoke and a bathroom break.

Then he made his big mistake: He dropped his wallet.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

What’s up with the whole paddling thing? It makes about as much sense as any other hazing ritual. (“Thank you sir may I have another?”). Why all the “paddle” talk? A paddler from across the pond is in the soup because of his paddling ways. As reported by kotatv.com:

Police spokesperson, Tarah Heupel said Tuesday that 54-year-old [United Kingdom resident] David Spencer offered to sell the clerk a paddle on Saturday. When she turned him down, he told her she could spank him six times for one dollar. Finally, she allowed him to spank her once so he would leave her business but then he spanked her a second time without her permission.

Just couldn’t walk away David. Bad move. Why?

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

yin yang
Is it really a good idea to let someone tattoo your back after you’ve had an argument with him? Um, NO, as a 25-year-old Australian man learned the hard way. The tattoo was supposed to be a yin yang symbol with dragons. As reported by The Courier Mail:

A 21-year-old man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man’s back – instead of the image he had requested.

Yikes.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

question mark marks
It’s very common for the law to have to catch up with technology. But what if the crime is something you just wouldn’t consider? This is such a case, as reported by The Chicago Tribune.

Jamarcus Applewhite was nearly finished with an eight-hour day hauling cars to Wisconsin early Thursday morning when he thought he popped a tire on the Bishop Ford Freeway just minutes from his destination.

Applewhite, 34, pulled his truck and trailer off to the side of the road near Sibley in Calumet City and got out to inspect the damage.

Squeezed on:

wet%20bandits%20home%20alone%20harry%20and%20marv.jpg
It’s hard to make the “Wet Bandits” look good, but these gents have done it. How? By leaving their DNA at every crime scene. Brilliant! As found in The Star Online (Malaysia):

A gang of thieves in Ipoh is leaving “a souvenir” behind everytime they rob a house.

The police are trying to track down the group which urinates and defecates in the living room of each house they rob.

Squeezed on:

gun handgun
Maybe this will get you some street cred, but it also got you busted.  As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat (Illinois):

A YouTube video is being credited with helping investigators track a retired Venice police officer’s badge and gun to a metro-east family.

According to police reports, they spotted two men with the stolen gun in a homemade online music video. They were able to trace the video to a residence in Madison.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

teach class classroom
If you have successfully beaten the system (way to go New Jersey!), and are getting paid on an ongoing basis, why would you take an on-the-books job? See, that’s how you get caught. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

[Former Piscataway, New Jersey teacher] John Brishcar, 59, of Front Royal, Va., admitted he received the money [$248,960] after claiming in 2003 he could no longer work as a middle school teacher for the Piscataway School District due to “prolonged stress and chronic back pain,” the Attorney General’s Office said.

The application for disability was approved in 2004. By that time, Brishcar was working as a substitute teacher in West Virginia, and, in 2005, he accepted a full-time job as a sixth grade science teacher at Warren County Middle School in Front Royal. Brishcar has since been suspended from his Virginia job pending the outcome of the case.