Squeezed on:


Here’s the defense: “It wasn’t me. It was all the bear’s idea.” The crime? Per The Sydney Morning Herald:

Police said in April this year [22-year-old Russell] Hounslow’s 21-year-old flatmate found a camera inside a teddy bear on her bedside table and discovered it was linked to a video cassette recorder.

Mr. Hounslow has been charged with “using an optical device to record a private activity and possessing an obscene article.” Not cool. Here’s the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Squeezed on:


Talk about a petty crime. Per newsok.com (The Oklahoman):

Roger Hamilton told police he was sitting on a bus station bench, preparing to put mayonnaise on his 76-cent bologna and cheese sandwich, when a man wearing headphones began staring at him. Hamilton, 24, told police he asked the man if he could help him, but the man punched him in the mouth and snatched his sandwich. When police arrived Wednesday at the Hudson Street bus station, they found Hamilton with a swollen lip and bloody face. Hamilton described him as a black man in his 30s.

Click here to see a one-minute news video.

Squeezed on:

On several occasions, I have put an envelope in my bike bag and arrived home, having forgotten to stop by the mailbox. Never, though, have I stopped by the mailbox, having forgotten to put on my clothes. Florida resident Marilyn Incigeri made that trip to the mailbox … As reported by tbo.com:

A Brooksville woman was arrested Tuesday after she walked to her mailbox topless.

Neighbors’ complaints brought a deputy to 834 Easy Street around noon, where he said he saw Marilyn Incigeri standing on the back porch of her house in the nude.


When Incigeri, 46, spotted the cruiser she retreated back into her house and emerged wearing blue jean shorts and a white halter top. She was placed into custody while a deputy interviewed four neighbors.

Naked lady? I didn’t see any naked lady?

[Neighbors] told the deputy Incigeri walked to her mailbox wearing only a pair of shorts. There had been an argument between them and the suspect earlier, according to a report.

Incigeri, who reportedly showed signs of intoxication, was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure.

I feel safer.

Squeezed on:


Dude. Of all people to stalk, the police? That’s what Thomas C. Massey of Traverse City, Michigan is accused of, per the Traverse City Record-Eagle:

Massey spent a good portion of Monday shouting at officers and making a profane gesture at them as he paced around the building, police said.

It wasn’t an isolated incident. Police contend Massey heckled and harassed local officers since at least March, and he’s often spotted around the law enforcement center.

Massey, of Traverse City, was arrested in March after he crept around the Grand Traverse County Jail property taking information from jail employees’ license plates and peeping in their cars, Emerson said. Charges weren’t approved in that incident.

On Monday afternoon, Massey — who police said was clad in a Hawaiian shirt and a Christmas tie — approached an officer who pulled into the lot behind the building. The officer asked Massey if he needed help, and he began to spew profanities.

Massey repeatedly refused to calm down, so officers arrested him. He allegedly struggled and “body checked” a patrol vehicle and broke a mirror during the arrest, Emerson said.

The charges? Two minutes in the box for body checking a police vehicle…

Grand Traverse County Prosecutor Al Schneider charged Massey with attempted malicious destruction of police property and disturbing the peace. He remained in custody Tuesday afternoon and is expected to be arraigned today.

Why the animosity toward the police? Not a clue.

“Nobody seems to know why he has a beef with us or what his problem is … it’s just bizarre,” [Capt.] Emerson said.


Squeezed on:


If you are one of those folks who refuses to carry a cell phone, I seriously doubt that this story will change your mind. But for those who carry them religiously (me?), and feel strange if we don’t have them, vindication! Check out this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

The robber came in the door of the Beverage Mart liquor store in Roswell, waving a big, black hunting knife.

He wanted the money in the knapsack. Now!

He lunged at the clerk, Joseph Wescott, 59, who leaned back to get away from that 10-inch gleaming blade. The knife hit the cell phone in Wescott’s breast pocket instead.

That bought time. Time enough for Wescott to reach for the Glock .40 he kept under the counter.

It was Monday night, about 8:30 p.m., and that’s when accused robber, Carlos Jeanpierre, 24, of Atlanta, realized this might be the end.

He ran for the door, but not before Wescott got off a round, hitting him in the side. The bullet went in the right side and lodged in the left side of the abdomen.

I think Mr. Westcott owes his son a huge “thank you.” Why?

Wescott … is the father of a Roswell Police officer. The son had bought his dad both the gun and the phone, Wescott said.


Squeezed on:


Perhaps you might feel otherwise, but despite receiving 77 parking tickets this year – all “unearned” – Illinois resident Tom Feddor would not dream of giving up his “0” license plate. His grandfather got it in 1971, and it’s been in the family ever since. So why has Mr. Feddor been receiving so many tickets that he has to go to court about once every three weeks? Here’s why, as reported by the Chicago Tribune:

It turned out that some city parking-enforcement aides punched in 0 when testing their electronic ticket-issuing devices, Revenue Department spokesman Ed Walsh said. Officials weren’t aware there was a 0 plate or that Feddor was receiving tickets, Walsh said in response to the Tribune inquiry.

Doh! But that’s not all …

Adding to Feddor’s headaches, the letter “O” Illinois license plates registered to convicted felon Lawrence Warner, a co-defendant in the corruption trial of former Gov. George Ryan, sometimes resulted in Feddor receiving ticket notices from the city that belonged to Warner, he said.

Turns out the “0” is much more trouble than the “O” ever was:

“Mr. Warner was always very nice about helping to straighten out the problem,” Feddor said.

Warner is serving a prison sentence for his role in sweetheart deals when Ryan was secretary of state.

Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Squeezed on:


How can a judge’s clerk make himself immortal? By cleverly inserting his name in an opinion. Props to the Southeast Texas Record’s John Browning for sharing this story. And speaking of the story, here’s how law clerk Bob Bragalone put his name in Judge Belew’s published opinion: He started each paragraph of the opinion with a letter in his name. From Meridian Savings Assocation v. Sadler, et al., 759 F. Supp. 336 (USDC ND Tex 1990):

Before the Court is Defendant Sadler’s Motion to Reconsider …

On November 2, 1989, Intervenor, Resolution Trust Corporation …

By this Court’s Order entered February 20, 1990 …

Before the RTC filed its Motion …

Realizing the importance of the judgment …

Arguing that the Court’s February 20, 1990 Order …

Given these facts, it is this Court’s responsibility …

As stated by the Fifth Circuit …

Like many other areas of the law …

Of these eight factors …

No suggestion has been made that …

Essentially, the Court’s new order …

Well done sir. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

Chef%20angry%20mad%20cook%20south%20park.gif Pubic Hair! As reported by cbs4denver.com:

“According to the [police] complaint, a second kitchen worker told police [the cook] put a slit in the steak and pushed something inside, then stated, “These are my pubes,” referring to pubic hair.” [The cook said they were facial hairs. Huh?]

Why would a cook do this? He was pissed that the customer said the first steak was “medium,” not “rare” per his order. What happened to Ryan Kropp, the cook?

Kropp, 24, of West Bend, was charged Wednesday with a felony of placing foreign objects in edibles, carrying up to 3 1/2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. He was released on a signature bond.

Damn! A felony? Up to 3 1/2 years?

Since this is a “best of” post, I can tell you what the sentence was: 6 months in jail! And the victim said that wasn’t enough! You can read a fair amount more here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Squeezed on:

[Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but that there is a costume.]
So wet t-shirt contests might not be your thing, but really, is it something you want to spend time prosecuting? In Mason City, Iowa, that would be a “yes,” as reported by RadioIowa.com.

A magistrate court jury in Cerro Gordo County has found the owner of a Clear Lake tavern not guilty of violating that community’s adult entertainment ordinance. The six-member panel returned the verdict after Alan Slater was charged last June after allegedly holding a wet t-shirt contest at The Marina.

Slater testified that he was planning to hold a wet t-shirt contest at the bar, but then backed out after thinking that he’d receive a citation from the city. He said he then let the public host the contest at the bar and directed his staff to keep things within the law.

Clever man, that Mr. Slater.

Squeezed on:


Texas Inmate George Morgan filed a habeas petition, which the state moved to dismiss. This didn’t sit well with Mr. Morgan. So he wrote a note to assistant U.S. attorney Susan San Miguel on toilet paper. What did the note say? As reported by Courthouse News Service:

“Dear Susan, Please use this to wipe your ass, that argument was a bunch of shit! You[rs] Truly, George Morgan.”

Ba da bing. Ba da boom.

One of Miguel’s co-workers returned the note to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, where Morgan is incarcerated.


Morgan was charged with using vulgar language and was punished with a loss of 15 days of credit earned for good behavior.

Morgan appealed, arguing that the punishment violated his right to free speech. And he … lost.

Judge Jolly acknowledged that prisoners have certain First Amendment rights, but said those rights are restricted by the state’s interest in rehabilitating the prisoner.

“Morgan’s note demonstrated a completely unjustified disrespect for authority, expressed in the most unacceptably vulgar form, which would be offensive in mainstream society,” Jolly wrote.

“It would not be tolerated from a peer member of the bar, and would not be tolerated from a pro se litigant in the free setting.”

Here’s the source.