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I told you not to tell me that! Per Arkansas Online:

Ozark Police Chief Jim Noggle said age is not a factor in determining when his officers use a Taser on someone.

Noggle said Tuesday that officer Dustin Bradshaw used his Taser last week on a 10-year-old girl who was kicking and combative with Bradshaw after her mother called police.

According to a report filed by Bradshaw on Nov. 12, the officer was called to an Ozark home for a domestic problem. The girl was on the floor of the house screaming and crying. She refused to follow her mother’s instructions and the mother told Bradshaw to use his Taser.

Bradshaw carried the girl to the living room and told her she was going to jail, according to the report.

“While she was violently kicking and verbally combative, [the girl] struck me with her legs and feet in the groin,” Bradshaw wrote in the report.

“The subject was actively resisting arrest at this time,” Bradshaw wrote. “I was having a difficult time placing the cuffs on her and administered a very, very brief drive stun to her back with my Taser. She immediately resisted and was placed in handcuffs.”

The girl would not walk on her own so Bradshaw carried her to his police car.

She was taken to the Western Arkansas Youth Shelter in Cecil.

The girl’s father has been in contact with police, Noggle said, and he is upset the officer used a Taser.

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While scouting locations for an indoor marijuana cultivation facility, would you not exclude any buildings near police stations? You would not, if you were a certain group of folks in Los Angeles. They decided to set up shop in a building 25 feet from a police station. Are you sitting down? Because this will shock you: They got busted. How? As reported by The Mercury News:

“Our gang officers were in the parking lot. The air was still. The breeze was right. They could smell growing pot,” said Los Angeles police Lt. Stephen M. Carmona, commander of detectives at the Topanga station.

Damn! You mean pot has a distinctive smell?

“They came over, did a closer search, did some sniffing around, so to speak.”

Please, just the facts. Bad puns cause me pain.

He said the gang and narcotics officers had surveilled the building, saw few cars coming in and out and detected a brand new ventilation system on the roof.

But it was the electricity bill of building tenants that really tipped them off.

And the poignant smell of freshly grown pot wafting into the adjacent police station.

Not 25 feet from an 8-foot wall along the cop shop was an industrial warehouse that Carmona said contained 850 marijuana plants of different sizes.

Here’s the source.

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I would wager that this was one door-to-door salesman some of you Juice readers would be quite pleased to see. What was he selling? Weed! As luck would have it (bad luck, that is), one of the doorbells he rang at 3:30 a.m. was at the home of a Brownsville police officer. Doh! Per The Brownsville Herald:

Anthony Carrazco, 19, was arrested at the officer’s apartment at approximately 3:30 a.m. when he tried to sell the officer three ounces of marijuana, said police spokesman Jimmy Manrrique. He was later charged with one count of possession of marijuana and one count of possession of a prohibited weapon.

And the kicker?

Because the apartment was located near a school zone, the charges were upgraded to state jail felonies.

Damn you school zone! Here’s how it went down, per the police spokesman:

(Carrazco) went to an apartment building in the downtown area. He had over three ounces of marijuana in his possession and obviously looking for people to buy marijuana from him.

An intoxicated Carrazco went door to door looking for a buyer and when a man opened the door, he made the offer.

(Carrazco) asked him if he wanted to buy marijuana. This person he approached is a Brownsville police officer. The officer said he would be right back and went to go get his badge and handcuffs.

Carrazco was cooperative and didn’t offer any resistance.

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If you’re wondering “Is there a ‘right’ Mercedes to steal?” – the answer is a resounding “yes.” It would be a Mercedes that doesn’t have a lion in the back.. Per The Telegraph:

Caesar, Circus Probst’s ferocious five-year-old star, was being transported a Mercedes van when the vehicle was stolen.

The thief drove off, but abandoned the vehicle with the engine still running after crashing into a road sign. It was unclear whether the thief’s sudden awareness of the animal in the back of the van had inspired him or her to abort the mission.

Unclear? I think we can probably dispense with the guesswork. Although, that must be one quiet lion …

Police recovered the van in the early hours of Wednesday morning in Wuppertal, in western Germany.

They towed the van away, unaware of its feline freight, and it was not until midday on Wednesday that the circus lion was returned to its rightful owners, more than 12 hours after the adventure began.

In case you’re concerned about Caesar’s well-being …

“Caesar is fine. We’re not worried about him,” said Laurens Thoen, a circus spokesman.

“Since yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon he has been in his enclosure at the circus.”

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criminal.gif As reported in The Murfreesboro [Tennessee] Post:

A retired Murfreesboro woman reported a man identifying himself from Publisher’s Clearing House notified her she received a $200,000 prize but she needed to pay $857.75 in taxes before receiving the money. She sent a $857.75 money gram to a Smyrna address. Once the money gram was received, the callers asked for $1,200 more for interstate taxes. Instead of sending money a second time, she called police.

You know that old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you …” Or, as President Bush phrased it [really]:

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” —President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

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lodging%20state%20prison%20next%20right%20funny%20road%20sign%20wacky%20street.jpg Sure, turning yourself in is great but … you might want to wait until you sober up! This advice comes to late for William Olson, age 38, of Great Falls, Montana. He drove himself to the Highway Patrol, and turned himself in. For what? Per the Great Falls Tribune:

According to charges, Olson was driving in a Toyota 4Runner with his four children, who range in age from 3 to 13, on Morony Dam Road on Sunday.

Olson turned onto a gravel road, then sped up and pulled the emergency break in an attempt to make the vehicle spin, documents state. Olson told police he was trying to impress the kids, documents state.

Oh he impressed them, just not in the way he intended.

Instead, the vehicle rolled. The children were not in safety seats, and received minor injuries in the crash …

So after he turned himself in, the officer interviewing him smelled alcohol. Olson blew .094 (legally impaired!). And this is his 4th DUI charge! Doh! Here are the charges he’s facing, in addition to the DUI:

driving a vehicle with expired registration, driving a vehicle with plates assigned to another vehicle, failure to give notice of an accident, reckless driving, two counts of failure to have a child properly restrained, four counts of negligent vehicular assault, and obstructing justice.

Shazam!

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I think it’s fair to say that virtually every kid on earth is told not to play with fire. Many kids ignore it, and manage to escape unscathed. Such was not the case for an 11-year-old boy in Sweden. He was 9 on that fateful day. Per The Local (Sweden):

An 11-year-old boy has been ordered to pay 1.9 million kronor (US $276,000) in damages after causing smoke and water damage to a Stockholm home, the Aftonbladet newspaper writes.

The boy, who was nine at the time, was visiting another family in the suburb in southern Stockholm when he got hold of a cigarette lighter and proceeded to set light to some paper in a wardrobe with devastating consequences.

The insurance company agreed to meet the costs incurred by the family for the damages to their home – 1.9 million kronor – and then proceeded to sue the boy in court.

Well that should make for some really good public relations …

The court has now ruled that the boy is responsible for his actions – the debt can not be claimed from the other members of his family.

“According to Swedish law children can be liable for damages to the same extent as adults,” said Mårten Schultz, an expert in liability law, told the newspaper. “The debt is the child’s, it is the boy that has to pay up,” he confirmed.

Are they going to garnish his allowance? Here’s the source.

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I would imagine that 911 operators get a lot of strange calls. Still, I’ll bet they don’t get calls like this too often. As reported by the St. Petersburg Times:

Joshua Basso said his cell phone ran out of minutes Wednesday, so he called the one number that he knew is always free — 911 — with an unusual request.

He wanted someone to have sex with him.

Is there [pardon the pun] stimulus money for that? [Oh!]

When 911 operators hung up on him, he called back four times, police said.

Fifteen minutes after his last call, police arrested Basso at his home, at 4202 N Nebraska Ave., on charges of making a false 911 call. He was taken to the Hillsborough County Jail, where he remains without bail.

No bail?

Basso has been arrested a dozen times in Hillsborough on charges including grand theft of a motor vehicle, violation of probation, domestic violence battery, possession of marijuana, trespassing and burglary, jail records show.

Add one more to that cornucopia of criminal charges. Here’s the source.

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You’ll have to excuse the pun (you’ll see what I’m talking about), but this was extremely uncool. From the Times Herald-Record:

A man who stuffed his 98-year-old mother’s dead body in a freezer chest and then cashed her Social Security money was sentenced to six months in jail on Friday.

Roland “Jack” Auslander, 70, stuffed Herta Auslander in the freezer at their Cooks Falls home after she died of natural causes, cashing her social security checks for at least 18 months and forging her signature. Troopers found the body in October 2008. Auslander was arrested five months later after hiding in Pennsylvania and Delaware County, and pleaded guilty to the charges in Sullivan County.

He only faced charges related to grand larceny and defrauding social security. There is a pending misdemeanor charge in Delaware County of unlawfully disposing a body.

Auslander appeared for sentencing with his attorney Gerald Orseck, wearing a sling around his arm and a surgical glove on his hand. Orseck asked Judge Frank LaBuda for probation because Auslander is gravely ill with cancer. He recently had surgery to remove melanoma from his hand.

Auslander told probation officers that he kept his mother in the freezer because he couldn’t bear to part with her. The county’s probation department recommended probation. But LaBuda said he did not find Auslander’s explanation credible. He ordered a mental health examination to go with the six-month jail sentence and five years probation.

“Anyone who buries his mother in his own freezer is not thinking right,” LaBuda said.

District Attorney Steve Lungen argued for prison because of Auslander’s extensive criminal history that includes 22 arrests and a prison sentence for drug dealing. He could have faced up to 2 1/3 to 7 years.

“The bottom line is that he put his mother in the freezer because he couldn’t bear to part with her Social Security checks,” Lungen said.

Auslander won’t have to report to the Sullivan County Jail until Friday. He stood outside the courtroom afterwards, saying he was heavily medicated when he packed his mom away.

“I accept responsibility for what I did,” Auslander said. “I wouldn’t have entered a plea otherwise.”

Here’s the source.

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