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post office box postal
Yeah, like the post office is going to grant access to a post office box to someone other than the person renting the box. Well, there’s one woman out there who thinks that should be the case. No doubt she would feel otherwise if someone wanted access to her post office box. As reported at nj.com:

A postal customer who was refused access to someone else’s post office box physically assaulted the postal employee who refused her, police said.

Yes, that’s certain to engender cooperation.

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restroom bathroom
Nobody likes it when the moment passes. (If you don’t get this reference, you missed a hilarious Seinfeld episode.) Nevertheless, some discretion is called for, especially if you are in a federal building!  As reported by journalstar.com:

An Illinois man who used indoor potted plants as toilets was sent to jail for five days.

The Omaha Police Department says officers responded to a report of a 32-year-old man defecating on a potted plant in the waiting room area of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services building in Omaha. A building supervisor says he then urinated on another plant.

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disc golf
There’s a certain part of Helena, Montana where – let’s just say if you’re going there, LEAVE YOUR DISC AT HOME, lest you be accused of folfing.  You really don’t know what “folf” means? Well, as defined by the Helena Montana Code, folf is “A game formally called disc golf. It is played with golf discs and simulates the game of golf in accordance with the rules of golf on a course usually containing nine (9) to eighteen (18) “holes” or “tones”. The holes or tones are predesignated stationary targets. The purpose of the game is to hit each of the targets with the golf disc with a minimum number of throws.”

But you can’t just folf anywhere. No sir.

5-13-2: FOLFING PROHIBITED:

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middle finger flip the bird fuck you
You probably already guessed that the country in question is not the United States. The country is Turkey.  As reported by todayszaman.com:

The case was opened by former Justice and Development Party (AK Party) deputy and lawyer Süleyman Sarıbaş. In a leaked recording of a phone call that was made as part of the corruption investigation, Cengiz, of Cengiz Holding, which has received lucrative state tender contracts, such as for the third airport, was heard using extremely vulgar language with reference to the nation and the public. Sarıbaş sued Cengiz for TL 10,000 over the businessman’s comment to his friend, “We will f–k this nation,” referring to the people of Turkey. An İstanbul court on Tuesday decided Cengiz must pay TL 8, 000 in compensation.

Sarıbaş has promised to use the money awarded in the lawsuit to sponsor a new ablution area and bathroom for the mosque in his hometown.

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cosmetics makeup make-up
Who says crime doesn’t pay? It paid awfully well for this family. The operative word is “paid” because the jig is up! As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Three members of an Edison family have been sentenced after guilty pleas in a cosmetics counterfeiting ring that earned them hundreds of thousands of dollars, according to Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew Carey.

Shazam!

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police station
If you want to get the police department’s attention, there are other ways. This way, though, will definitely work! As detailed in the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter:

On 01-09-14 at approximately 0756 hours, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the Brunswick Zone, 999 N Circle Drive regarding a robbery. The investigation revealed an unknown male entered the business and verbally threatened the victim to open the cash register. The victim was unable to comply compelling the suspect to leave the area. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid- 30s, approximately 5’7 with a thin build, short blonde hair with a goatee, wearing a large black jacket and jeans. The investigation is continuing.

He got away! Or … did he?

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hug
If more people were as suspicious as this “good samaritan,” The Juice would move to an island. Hell, he might just do it any way. As reported by khou.com:

A loving husband triggered a massive police presence on Tuesday at a Cricket Store in southeast Houston

Police received a call that someone in the store was being held against their will.

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question mark
What exactly is HRUI? You have to ask? It’s horseback riding under the influence. The Juice has blogged daily for 7 years, and he hasn’t come across a similar case. Driving a motorized barstool under the influence? Yup. Driving riding mowers under the influence? Many times. Anyway, as reported by 9news.com (Denver, Colorado):

Patrick Schumacher is facing charges of riding a horse while under the influence of alcohol after witnesses saw the rider and horse occasional wandering into traffic on Broadway near the school Monday afternoon [in Boulder].

Officers observed that Schumacher was slumped to his right side as he crossed streets and forced pedestrians off the sidewalk. Police pulled the horse over, and Schumacher was arrested on suspicion of riding under the influence after he was given a sobriety test.

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money
This thing could have gone south many times … but it didn’t.  As reported by The International News:

The robber entered the bank and went up to the teller’s window but could not load his gun. He next tried to break the window with the gun but failed again.

The robber then climbed up on the counter and managed to drag the window down. He then proceeded to steal whatever money he could find.

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school lunch
Since the dawn of the school lunch, their have been bullies around to steal lunch money. But this is not your typical lunch money shakedown, and not just because it also involves stealing lunches. No, this case is unusual because of who did the stealing. nbcphildelphia.com reports that …

A New Jersey school bus aide was arrested after she allegedly stole bagged lunches and money from dozens of preschool students.

Now that is pretty damn low.

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