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Sure, it’s illegal. But can it possibly be that this is a judicious use of police manpower? Unlikely. As reported by The Morning Call (Lehigh Valley, PA):

A detective from the Monroe County district attorney’s office made arrangements to meet Brian K. Ryder Friday after reading his ad on Craigslist from a male seeking a female to “smoke with.” The ad read, “Any females into 420? It’s nice out. Let’s go smoke. Email if interested.”

Investigators made arrangements to meet Ryder at the Stroud Mall on Route 611, but Detective Joseph Coddington pulled him over in his pickup truck prior to arriving at the mall. Ryder was charged with possession with intent to delivery marijuana, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He also was cited for having an expired inspection on his truck.

Yes, that’s him. [The photo is from the Monroe County District Attorney's office.] Dude looks like he’s thinking “Really? You did all that for this?” Here’s the source.

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The Juice is just sayin’ that, before you call the cops for their help, you might want to at least check your pockets! Doh! As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):

George Jordan Williams, 33, of Queen Creek, Arizona, called police from Scarlett O’Hara’s, 3201 S. Caroyln Ave., claiming several thousand dollars was stolen from him at the club.

Okay. Clearly a call to the police is a reasonable next step … or is it?

The man first said $2,000 was stolen from him but later changed the amount to $4,000, police spokesman Sam Clemens said.

Williams was pulling money from his pockets to determine how much was missing when a bag of white powder fell out, Clemens said.

Oops.

“He reached down and picked it up like nothing happened,” Clemens said.

Hum dee dum. [Whistling.] Hum dee dum. [More whistling.]

Officers were able to find the bag, which field tested positive for cocaine, in his hand.

He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance.

Brilliant! Click here for the source. (HT to a loyal Juice reader who prefers to remain anonymous. Can you blame him?)

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The Juice is feeling it just thinking about pounding 20 beers. But that’s exactly what a 26-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan man did. Fortunately he did not succeed with what he set out to do after the binge. He did do some damage though, including a pretty disgusting grand finale. As reported by mlive.com:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Assistant Chief Brian Uridge said the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson [Plaza Hotel & Suites] ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to “get enough courage to commit suicide,” Uridge said.

The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drive out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.

You’re probably wondering about the grand finale?

The man then got on top of a car and defecated on it, Uridge said.

Perhaps it was a symbolic act, with the car representing his life, or him, or … who knows. At least he didn’t kill himself.

Uridge said the man was arrested at about 3 p.m. on suspicion of drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level of 0.17 or higher, which under state law is called “super drunk.” Police did not release the man’s BAC Friday.

Here’s hoping he got some help. You’ll find the source here.

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Regular Juice readers will, oddly enough, recognize this scenario from a recent post.  This, however, led to much more serious consequences for the perps. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Sometimes, good detective work and weeks of investigation are needed to nab suspected criminals. But other times all investigators need is 30 minutes to listen in on an accidental pocket dial to a 911 dispatch center.

That’s the reason 55-year-old Donna Knope, 32-year-old Jason Knope and 41-year-old Thomas Stallings spent their weekend in the Volusia County Branch Jail on drug charges.

According to Volusia County deputies, one member of the trio accidentally dialed 911 about 12:30 a.m. Saturday. When the dispatcher answered and tried to get details about the potential emergency, there was no response.

Instead, she overheard a discussion about drugs.

Deputies say the dispatcher kept the line open and fed details to investigators from the three who were unknowingly being recorded. At one point, the dispatcher reported hearing bubbling noises as if something was cooking.

Using cell phone locater data, deputies tracked the origin of the call to a shed behind a home in the 3200 block of Roland Drive where Donna and Jason Knope lived.

When deputies arrived, the three were actively cooking a batch of methamphetamine, investigators say. Also found were many of the household items after found in meth labs like lighter fluid, coffee filters, a butane torch and batteries.

All three face charges of manufacturing and possession of meth. Stallings also faces charges of violating probation after a previous robbery conviction.

Doh! You’ll find the source, and a video, here.

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A bender? Not uncommon. Driving while on a bender? Common, but thankfully not as common. Getting busted while driving on a bender? Less common. Getting busted TWICE IN THE SAME DAY while on a bender? Fortunately, extremely rare, but it does happen… As reported by The Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

Around 9 a.m. that … morning, [Yvette L.] Cavallo [29] was charged by Harmony Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of a controlled substance.

In that case, police said, Cavallo admitted to taking a combination of pills and then texting while driving. Cavallo hit a telephone pole in the 3700 block of Duss Avenue in Harmony, police said.

Texting too! And then …

Cavallo’s car was towed to Chris Automotive Repair and Towing Service in Conway, where police were called at 9:57 a.m. because Cavallo was in the towing yard and had climbed onto a flatbed truck in an attempt to take something out of    her car, Conway police said.

Conway police cited Cavallo with defiant trespass and public drunkenness. She pleaded guilty to both charges April 9.

So that’s 2 sets of charges in 2 jurisdictions, and it’s not even noon!

According to a police report, Chippewa police were called at 6:45 p.m. March 24 about a reckless driver on Darlington Road. Police found the vehicle near Get-Go on McMillen Avenue with a flat tire, the report said.

Cavallo, who was driving the vehicle, had glassy eyes and was responding to police “sluggishly as though she was having difficulty understanding,” the report said. There was also a smell of smoke and cologne coming from the car, the report said.

Cavallo was taken to Heritage Valley Beaver hospital, where she tested positive for marijuana in her system, police said. Cavallo also had a baggie of marijuana and pipe in her purse, police said.

[She] was charged by Chippewa Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Cavallo is still awaiting preliminary hearings on the charges filed by Harmony and Chippewa police.

Let’s hope she used the time she probably served to get herself together. Here’s the source.

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The Juice has known some heavy sleepers. But come on. You don’t sleep through this. And remember, is was 4:15 a.m. (Hint: He was probably passed out.)  As reported in brooklynpaper.com’s police blotter:

84th Precinct – Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Three lowlifes stole a wallet out of a sleeping straphanger’s pocket aboard a 2 train on Sept. 17, the authorities reported.

So how did they do it?

The 24-year-old victim said he fell asleep on a Manhattan-bound train at 4:15 am, and woke up at the Clark Street station with a hole cut in his pocket and his wallet gone.

He saw three fiends exit the train as he woke up, and a fellow passenger told him the crew had done the deed, an account states.

But don’t worry. The miscreants did leave a few thinks behind.

Inside the Clark Street station, the victim found his gym membership card and a condom, both of which had been in his wallet, law enforcement officials said.

Yeah, you really don’t want to fall asleep late at night on the subway. The Juice has posted a similar story in the past about another gent who also slept through the whole thing!

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Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Yeah, like you would ever …

She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.

Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.

The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.

Please, tell me this is a crime.

The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.

Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.

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Sadly, lots of shoplifters use their kids during the perpetration of their crimes. But this lady, she’s in a whole ‘nother category. Per The Belleville News Democrat (Illinois):

Mykala M. Bator was charged by St. Clair County prosecutors Saturday with felony retail theft over $300, felony possession of a controlled substance and a misdemeanor charge of endangering a child. She is accused of shoplifting from Kohl’s around 4:55 p.m.

And if you’re wondering how she endangered the child …

According to the police report, a loss-prevention officer at Kohl’s confronted Bator outside the store on suspicion of shoplifting merchandise. She had a 1-year-old infant with her during the incident and when confronted, she ran to a waiting vehicle, tossed the child into the back seat of the car through an open window, and fled the scene as a passenger in the car.

Yes, the lady threw her one-year-old child through an open window. The kid could have suffered a brain injury. The Juice is angry.

Luckily … The child was not injured, according to Fairview Heights Police Lt. Steve Evans.

Whew. You’ll find a mug shot here.

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If you blamed your mom for severing your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.

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Most folks probably have plenty of good memories from the time they spent sharing an apartment or a house.  As for these gents, not so much! Per The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 9/27/14, at approximately 1903 hours, Colorado Springs Officers responded to the 7200 block of Alpenwood Way for a reported stabbing. Upon arrival officers determined a physical altercation between roommates escalated into Patrick Kelsey, a 25 year old male, stabbing his roommate in the leg with a kitchen knife. Kelsey left the residence in a vehicle where he was contacted in the area by officers placed into custody. Both Kelsey and the victim (roommate) sustained injuries in the altercation and were transported to area hospitals for treatment. Kelsey was charged with First Degree Assault and D.U.I.

Yeah, The Juice got plenty pissed at many a roommate over his years in group houses (shout out to Lumpy, Luke, Etch-A-Sketch, Cryin’ Shame and Knuckles), but never that pissed!