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The Juice should have a separate flavor (check out the “flavors” [categories] on the right-hand side of Legal Juice) for posts like this: “What were you thinking?”  As reported by The Baxter Bulletin (Mountain Home, Arkansas)

Bull Shoals police officer David Chatman gave Stephen Lewis [age 47] a simple choice on Friday afternoon: take down a sign Lewis was putting up in Bull Shoals or receive a citation. (Lewis is the owner of Lewis Sign & Neon in Mountain Home.)

You should know that Mr. Lewis was driving a 30-foot-long, 12-foot-high bucket truck!

The incident started when Chatman informed Lewis that the sign he was erecting in Bull Shoals did not have a permit. Because sign owners didn’t have the proper documentation, Chatman told Lewis that the sign had to come down or he would receive a ticket.

Chatman described Lewis as uncooperative, saying he would not produce his driver’s license and would not get out of the truck when Chatman asked him to do so. Lewis eventually did get out of the truck and give his license to the police officer.

“I went and sat in my patrol car to write the citation out,” Chatman said. “At that time, I observed Mr. Lewis get into his truck, put it in drive and take off.”

Now that is a man with a plan.

Chatman informed his dispatcher that he was in pursuit of the large white truck heading east on Arkansas Highway 178. The pursuit was slow, never getting above 45 mph, according to authorities. Officers from Flippin, the Arkansas State Police and the Baxter County Sheriff’s Office headed out to various points in hopes of laying down spike strips.

45 mph? Shoot, even on his beater commuting bicycle, The Juice can almost hit that. Ok, maybe 30, going down a steep hill.

The pursuit ended at the intersection of AR Highway 178 and AR Highway 5 North when officers boxed Lewis in, forcing him to pull over.

Lewis was arrested by Bull Shoals police and taken to the Marion County jail, charged with fleeing and obstructing government operations, plus two additional misdemeanor offenses. He was released Friday night on $855 bond.

Think he’ll get the “proper documentation” next time? Here’s the source, including a photo of the getaway vehicle.

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red cup

When making a decision, one component is often something like this: “What is the worst thing that will happen to me if I do this?” This gent certainly did not make that calculation before he made this recent decision, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

Potsdam police report that at 2:08 a.m. Thursday, an officer saw [MD] walking on Main Street with an open container of an alcoholic beverage.

Hey, not so fast with the jumping to conclusions. Okay, so it was probably the right conclusion, but still …

“Patrol made contact with [MD] who refused to obey the officer’s orders which was to stop walking away from the officer. [MD] was then escorted to the ground by patrol and was placed into custody. [MD] was transported to the Potsdam Police Department where he was processed and released on appearance tickets for the listed charges,” then department’s blotter report said.

Doh! Should’ve just taken the open container citation! That could have been the worst thing that happened to him. But it was not to be.

[MD], 28, of Potsdam, [was] charged with resisting arrest after allegedly refusing an officer’s order to stop walking away with a presumed open container of alcohol.

Oh, so now it’s “presumed” to be alcohol? Here’s the story.

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Although The Juice has represented dog bite victims, he still likes the rest of the critters. So he was not pleased to read about the behavior of these would-be robbers in The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana).

Two men armed with a gun attempted a robbery in a home in the 200 block of Esmond Street shortly after noon Tuesday, Fort Wayne police said.

The victims told police that two men knocked on the door asking for a 17-year-old who lived in the home.

Great plan so far. It gets better.

When they were told the person they were looking for wasn’t home, they pushed inside, pointed a gun to the resident’s head and demanded money, police said.

When the man told the suspects he did not have any money, police said, they threatened to shoot his dog. Police said two other people inside the home who heard the commotion also had the gun pointed at their heads while the suspects demanded money.

So much for Plans A, B, C and D.  Apparently there was no Plan E.

When everyone continued to tell the suspects they didn’t have any money, the men left, police said.

Well, that went well, at least for the victims – although they were undoubtedly terrified. So did the cops catch the perps?

Shortly after, two men with guns were seen in the 3000 block of South Clinton Street, which is near the home on Esmond Street, police said. Officers were not able to locate the suspects.

Nuts. Here’s the source.

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fireworks

Just jumping up and down and yelling after touchdowns apparently was not a sufficient celebration for some of these folks. (Like most fans, they must not find field goals very exciting.) As reported by The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

A resident in the Boulevard Park neighborhood of Burien called the police anticipating a neighborhood disturbance of fireworks and bullets during the Superbowl. The call went out to police on the afternoon of Saturday, January 31st. They told police that after each Seahawks scoring drive, one of their neighbors fires off “ridiculously loud illegal fireworks” but what ultimately caused them to alert authorities was when a separate neighbor began firing off a handgun after every scoring drive. Police confiscated the illegal fireworks but did not report any contact with the neighbor who allegedly fires off their handgun after successful scoring drives.

Guess they’ll all be shooting guns next year, and probably for years to come, given their youth, stellar defense, stellar running game, and a very good young quarterback (who had a bad game at the worst time).

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Well sir, the officer might have said, I have some good news and some bad news … Per The Sun News at cleveland.com:

A township officer assisted a Medina Township officer on an arrest at 2:41 a.m. Jan. 24. According to the Medina Township officer, the driver he had pulled over in the Hills had nearly struck his cruiser while the Medina officer was on another traffic stop. The driver passed a Breathalyzer test, registering .08 percent – at the legal limit – but was cited for marijuana possession and failure to move over for a stopped emergency vehicle.

Right at the legal limit! Your author has never seen this before. Maybe they could have taken it out another decimal? .081? It didn’t much matter though, what with the weed in the car. Here’s the source.

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mall

This is not meant to discourage good Samaritans from taking action. However, when you have two apparently equal sides (who should be able to work it out themselves) arguing, in these gun-toting times, if you intervene, you’re liable to get yourself shot … As reported by The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina):

Investigators told local media outlets that a man trying to stop an argument between two groups of people at Magnolia Mall was shot in the leg around 7:45 p.m.

Police say the gunshots caused hundreds of people to run out of the mall and the shooter was able to get out in the chaos. The family of the man shot drove him to the hospital.

Fortunately, the well-intentioned gent was treated and released.  Trigger happy pappy is still at large. Here’s the source.

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Although The Juice has strong opinions, you are unlikely to meet anyone with the conviction of this Idahoan. Under these circumstances, this is not a good thing. As reported by ktvb.com

A Boise woman is facing felony charges after police say she attacked a Jewish acquaintance, stomping on the woman’s neck as part of a bizarre bid to convert her to Christianity.

Margurite Dawn Haragan, 58, has been charged with two counts of malicious harassment in an attack police have labeled a hate crime.

Prosecutors say the incident started when Haragan showed up at the victim’s home Feb. 5. It’s not clear how the two women know each other.

“The defendant was banging on the front window yelling at her that she better believe in Jesus and she was not going to leave until she did believe in Jesus,” Ada County Prosecutor Dave Rothcheck said. He said the victim, identified in court only as “A.G.,” opened her door to tell Haragan to leave and to write down her license plate number.

That’s when the suspect slapped her in the face and dragged her to the ground by her hair, Roscheck said.

“The defendant began kicking the victim in the stomach and thigh area,” he said. “During this time the defendant was screaming at the victim that she better accept Jesus or she would not let up.”

Prosecutors say Haragan stepped onto A.G.’s neck as she lay on the ground, pressing down with her foot and pulling up on the woman’s head and hair. Eventually, the woman said she would become a Christian in an attempt to placate her attacker, Roscheck said, and Haragan let her go.

Yikes. You’ll find the source, and Ms. Haragan’s mug shot, by clicking here.

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The facts: Ms. Kirkland works at Morton’s of Chicago as the catering manager, where her boss is Mr. Hickey, the restaurant manager. According to the court, there is no genuine dispute as to the following (in other words, “it’s true”):

… that Hickey told Kirkland that she “needed to get laid”; that Hickey told Kirkland to “blow me”; that Hickey asked Kirkland out on a date, which she rejected, the most benign of Hickey’s acts; that Hickey called Kirkland a “fat pig”; that he placed his hand inside of Kirkland’s blouse; that he asked Kirkland about the color of her bra and whether it matched her panties; that he pulled up Kirkland’s dress; that he pulled his pants down and exposed his buttocks to Kirkland; that he put his hand all the way up Kirkland’s dress; and that he waved a vibrator at Kirkland and other women.

Quite the charmer. The test for whether he created a “hostile work environment is

whether a reasonable woman would find that Hickey’s conduct was sufficiently severe or pervasive to alter the conditions of employment and create an abusive work environment.

What do you think? Is Hickey a sexual harasser?

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panty panties

In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.

The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.

Retail for the panties was estimated at more than $10,000.

Atlanta detectives hope the public can help and have released surveillance photos of the suspect, described as a black woman wearing a red hat, a white and black T-shirt, a black jacket, blue jeans, and red and white tennis shoes.

Several things come to mind. Two hours, and no store employees noticed anything unusual? 785 pairs of panties worth over $10,000 fit in those 3 bags? Clearly the cost of the fabric is not a factor in determining the cost of the panties.  Or perhaps there is an inverse relationship between the amount of fabric used and the cost.  Click here for the source, which includes multiple photos of Ms. X in action.

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Regular Juice readers know that an inmate having a cell phone is not an uncommon occurrence. If you’re wondering how the inmates get them, The Juice would wager that very, very, very few get them this way. As reported by The Mirror:

Police found 10 crossbow bolts, 18 mobile phones, SIM cards and the bow that had been left in a weapons case just 100-metres from the prison fence.

Yup, a crossbow!

A modern day William Tell was nicked by prison police as he tried to use a crossbow to fire illicit mobile phones into a jail for inmates to use.

Cornelius Bazarov, 21, was seized with 18 mobiles, spare batteries and earpieces strapped to the end of crossbow bolts with gaffer tape.

How was he caught?

…  a wall guard at the jail in the town of Tavda in southern Russia’s Sverdlovsk Oblast noticed someone moving through the trees at 1:50am and hit the alarm button.

Bazarov was arrested stumbling through the undergrowth, but it was not until the next morning that police found 10 crossbow bolts, the phones, SIM cards and the bow that had been left in a weapons case just 100 metres from the prison fence.

Just how bad is the phone problem?

Prison spokesman Daniel Krylov said: “Phones are almost as bad as drugs in prisons.

“When inmates get their hands on them they have access to their criminal networks and can even commit crimes while they’re safely in here with an alibi.

“They use them to order drugs, blackmail staff, threaten other inmates or even organise revenge on people who put them there in the first place.

“We arrested the man found in the forest outside the prison walls and he is now facing jail time himself.”

Here’s the source, including photos.