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birds

Doesn’t everyone like colorful birds? Well, if you’re in Center Line, Michigan, and want to make your drab bird a little more colorful – don’t. Why? In addition to the obvious reasons (so please, PETA, no more emails) because of this law:

Sec. 10-4. Artificially coloring birds.

It shall be unlawful for any person to artificially color, spray or paint any bird or fowl or to sell, offer for sale, or otherwise dispose of any such colored bird or fowl.

Must have been a craze back in the day. And yes, this law is still on the books, under Chapter 10 – Animals, Article I, Section 10-4.

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stalk stalking

Dude. Of all people to stalk, the police? That’s what Thomas C. Massey of Traverse City, Michigan is accused of, per the Traverse City Record-Eagle:

Massey spent a good portion of Monday shouting at officers and making a profane gesture at them as he paced around the building, police said.

It wasn’t an isolated incident. Police contend Massey heckled and harassed local officers since at least March, and he’s often spotted around the law enforcement center.

Massey, of Traverse City, was arrested in March after he crept around the Grand Traverse County Jail property taking information from jail employees’ license plates and peeping in their cars, Emerson said. Charges weren’t approved in that incident.

On Monday afternoon, Massey — who police said was clad in a Hawaiian shirt and a Christmas tie — approached an officer who pulled into the lot behind the building. The officer asked Massey if he needed help, and he began to spew profanities.

Massey repeatedly refused to calm down, so officers arrested him. He allegedly struggled and “body checked” a patrol vehicle and broke a mirror during the arrest, Emerson said.

The charges? Two minutes in the box for body checking a police vehicle…

Grand Traverse County Prosecutor Al Schneider charged Massey with attempted malicious destruction of police property and disturbing the peace. He remained in custody Tuesday afternoon and is expected to be arraigned today.

Why the animosity toward the police? Not a clue.

“Nobody seems to know why he has a beef with us or what his problem is … it’s just bizarre,” [Capt.] Emerson said.

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dachsund weiner dog

Ilinois high school senior David Clark will have to think twice, though he’s worn the shirt before, without incident. But not this time. So what did it say? “I [heart] My Wiener” with a picture of a dachsund under it. See, David’s dachsund was hit by a car and killed a few months back. The shirt is David’s way of honoring his dog.

Unfortunately, Principal Wes Choate didn’t see it that way. He gave David 3 choices: change shirts, turn it inside out, or leave. When faced with these stupid choices, David made the best one: he left – even though it meant getting a zero in each class. David Sr. makes a good point about the arbitrary dress code, which prohibits

students from wearing any clothing that is disrupting to the educational process, interferes with the maintenance of a positive teaching and learning climate or compromises reasonable standards of health, safety and decency.

Here’s what David Sr. has to say about the enforcement of the dress code:

They make the rules up as they go. It depends on what mood they are in that day. If you can’t wear that [his son's] shirt, you shouldn’t be able to wear one that says ‘Coke.’”

Right on, Clarks. Principal Choate, lighten up.

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two cents 2

The “Brown ‘N Serve” sausages were 98 cents in the aisle, but rang up at $1.00. When it happened the second time, consumer activist Mary Bach resorted to a familiar remedy – court. Wal-Mart said the overcharge was a mistake. What did the judge say? Per The Tribune-Review:

Murrysville District Judge Charles Conway sided with Bach in her civil lawsuit alleging unfair trade practices. He awarded Bach $100 in damages, plus about $80 in court costs.

Said a victorious Bach:

“Wal-Mart abandoned an earlier chainwide practice of offering scanner guarantees — for no explainable reason — and they also appear not to be following established store procedures for correcting scanner errors when customers report them. This also was occurring at two other stores, in Greensburg and North Versailles.” Wal-Mart has 30 days to appeal to Common Pleas Court.

You can read more (a lot) here.

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police stop

DUI checkpoints are unconstitutional because they violate the 4th Amendment, no matter what the Supreme Court said. (Where is the probable cause to stop someone when they are just driving down the road, minding their own business?) Still, it’s the law of the land. Anyway, in this particular case, they did catch an allegedly drunk driver, but in a most unusual way. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

The village of Caseyville lost a police cruiser in the line of duty Monday when an alleged intoxicated driver crashed into it at a sobriety checkpoint.

Yeah, that’s not exactly the way the police would like the checkpoints to function.

They were operating the checkpoint along with Caseyville officers as part of the Illinois Department of Transportation’s Sustained Traffic Enforcement Program.

Neither the officer nor the motorist was injured in the crash. But both cars suffered extensive damage, police said.

The motorist was charged with suspicion of driving under the influence by Illinois State Police.

Click here for the source.

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work

The night could most succinctly be described as “0 for 2″.  To call this gent a “robber” would be stretching the definition of the term, though it wasn’t for lack of trying. As reported by KUTV (Utah):

A man entered a Subway restaurant at 5550 W. 3500 S. just after 9 a.m., demanded money from the employee and indicated that he had a weapon, West Valley City Police said. During the holdup, the employee asked the suspect to wait and walked to the back of the store. When the worker didn’t return, the suspect became impatient and left.

Clearly the demand was not threatening enough. So …

Police said the suspect then entered the Family Dollar store at 4711 W. 3500 S. and attempted another robbery.  There, the bandit again demanded money — and again, the cashier asked the suspect to wait while they finished assisting other customers. The suspect became agitated and left the store, according to police.

No offense, and this is a good thing, but dude, you suck at this. Get a real job. They actually pay, and aren’t against the law!

Authorities describe the robbery suspect as an adult male with a thin build, wearing a red hooded-sweatshirt with the word “Utah” on the front.  Police are working to obtain store surveillance video and said they will release it when it’s available.  Anyone with information in this case is encouraged to call West Valley City Police at (801) 840-4000.

You’ll find the source here.

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monkey

So maybe it’s not 100% certain that he was drinking with the monkeys, but he let them out of their cages, he was drunk, and … as reported by The August Chronicle (Georgia):

According to a GHSU Police Bureau incident report, a co-worker discovered Coley Mitchell, 32, partially unclothed in the Laboratory Animal Services technician locker room at the Sanders Research and Education Building about 10:30 p.m. Monday.

Yikes!

Campus police said Mitchell, a Lab Animal Services technician, was highly intoxicated and sitting in a chair with his pants half-down.

Partially clothed, highly intoxicated – what about the monkeys?

The spokeswoman said two monkeys were found outside their cages in the lab but were confined to the room. There is no indication the monkeys had been harmed.

Whew.

Police said Mitchell became combative and uncooperative with officers while being escorted from the locker room.

He was booked into the Richmond County jail Monday on charges of public intoxication.

A spokeswoman said Mitchell was still employed by Georgia Health Sciences University on Friday.

That’ll probably change. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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cheez-its

Everyone craves some type of food at one time or another. And although you may not consider Cheez-Its to be food, a New Hampshire man had a serious craving, and apparently no cash. So, according to The New Hampshire Union Leader …

Officer Jacob Tyler was on patrol when he stopped to check on the business. When he pulled up, the clerk came out to tell him he had just been punched in the face. The officer noted redness around the clerk’s eye.

The clerk told Tyler he saw a man go out the door after hiding a three-ounce bag of Cheez-It in his pants. The clerk confronted him outside, the two got into a struggle, and the shoplifter punched him in the face and then ran off.

The thief is described as a white man, 6-foot to 6-foot-2 and weighing about 220 to 230 pounds. He wore a black hat and black shirt, both with white designs on them. He also wore black jean shorts with a white belt and white socks.

Two things: Clerk, you pursued a good-sized man over a bag of Cheez-Its? and Thief, you punched a guy in the face over a bag of Cheez-Its?

A man and a woman were also with him, the clerk said. Police located them in front of the Carpenter Memorial Library, 405 Pine St.

One of them, April Skinner, 18, of 800 Union St., was arrested after police say she became agitated, repeatedly shouted obscenities and refused to quiet down, drawing the attention of others inside the library.

She was arrested after a brief struggle with officers on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Perhaps the group is bound together by their common lack of good judgment.

Police said they expect to obtain warrants for the arrest of the shoplifter, who they declined to identify.

Here’s the source.

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police car chase

Running away from a problem rarely works.  This is especially true if your problem is a police car chasing you, and you are on an electric bicycle!  As reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

At around 11:45 p.m. Halton police officers, patrolling on bicycles, saw a man on an E-bike in the area of Kerr Street and Lakeshore Road West who they allege was not wearing the required helmet.

When you are doing something illegal (see below), why would you draw attention to yourself by breaking such an obvious law like a helmet law?

When the officers called on the man to stop he allegedly refused and began driving through traffic lights and stop signs.

That must have been an easy collar, right? Well, not exactly.

Due to public safety police broke off their pursuit, however, a short time later the suspect discarded the E-bike, just north of Speers Road and fled on foot, police said.

Say what? This is a bit of a head-scratcher. It’s not like they were chasing a car going 100 mph.  Not to worry though.

A man was ultimately located and arrested.

Whew. And as for the other illegal things …

Officers noted the E-bike had been modified, so that it is was no longer classified as an E-bike, but rather a motor vehicle.

Kevin Howland, 46, of Oakville has been charged with dangerous operation of a motor vehicle, failing to stop for a police officer, operating a motor vehicle without insurance, failing to properly wear a helmet, and operating a vehicle on a sidewalk amongst other traffic related offences.

Police said the man’s licence was also suspended and the E-bike has been seized and impounded, pending completion of the court process.

Doh! You’ll find the source here.

 

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ant

In a country where past cases have made it quite clear that one may not insult police officers with impunity, this would seem to be a no-brainer. But what is considered an insult is unclear, as this case demonstrates. As reported by DutchNews.nl:

A homeless man has been cleared by the High Court of insulting a police officer by calling him a mierenneuker – literally ant-fucker – a term used in popular speech to describe people who stick obsessively to the rules.

The court said it depended on the context in which it is used whether or not the word should be considered swearing. Only if mierenneuker is used with the intention to insult or cause offence is it a swearword, the NRC quoted the High Court as saying.

The case dates back to 2010 when the man, known as Sietze J, called a policeman a mierenneuker for throwing away his can of beer. Lower courts ruled J had insulted the police officer and the case went to appeal.

This is all stupid, but really? Just to show you what a stupid and subjective mess the Court has created, check out these cases:

In 2009, a 31-year-old man from Tilburg was fined €170 for insulting behaviour after wearing a t-shirt combining the word ‘corrupt’ with the police logo. People have also been fined for waving a middle finger (the Dutch equivalent to the two-fingered V-sign) at a police officer and calling a policeman ‘homo’.

And these …

Last January, the High Court ordered the retrial of a man who was given a fine of €200 for wearing a jacket featuring the letters ACAB because it was insulting to the police.

The letters are said to stand for All Cops Are Bastards. Earlier, three other men were fined €330 each for wearing t-shirts with the numbers 1312 printed on them, which stands for the same thing.

To borrow a word from the Dutch, too much ant-fucking. Here’s the source.