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Hey, The Juice is a big fan of Thin Mints. But this lady in Florida? Check out what happened to the housemate she believed took her box of Thin Mints. As reported by WZVN:

[Hersha] Howard’s roommate, Jasmin Wanke, told deputies she was asleep when Howard burst into her bedroom and accused her of eating the cookies.

Wanke said she gave them to Howard’s kids because they were awake and hungry at 1 a.m., according to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report.

“Oh, cool. Thanks for looking out for my kids …” Um, no. That’s what should have happened. Here’s what did happen.

The women began to argue, then Howard reportedly jumped on top of Wanke and struck her in the face.

The two continued to fight until Wanke’s husband separated them.

A few hits to the face – that’s it? Not by a long shot.

When Wanke walked out of the bedroom, Howard grabbed a pair of scissors and began chasing and threatening Wanke, the report said.

As women ran down the stairs, Howard reportedly dropped the scissors, picked up a board and struck Wanke.

Damn! Sounds like pro wrestling.

Wanke then ran to the kitchen, where Howard confronted and attacked her again, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

During the fight, Howard bit Wanke in the breast and continued to hit her until the two were separated again, the report said.

The women ran out of the house, then Howard reportedly picked up a sign and struck Wanke with it several times.

A board, then a sign? What about a chair? Where’s the husband during all this?

Wanke’s husband tackled Howard before deputies arrived and arrested her (and charged her with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Finally!

She was taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.

Here’s the source, including Ms. Howard’s mug shot.

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THEY TRIED TO ROB A GUN STORE – WITH AN OPENLY-ARMED EMPLOYEE. Who does that? And the kicker? These gents lost $40 in the process. As reported The Kansas City Star:

It all started about 2 p.m. when one of the robbers came into Guns Unlimited, 8113 N. Oak Trafficway, and asked for a box of .357 Magnum ammunition. The clerk told him it would cost about $50. The man, who looked to be in his 20s, said he needed to get more money and left.

Note that the clerk told him the cost would be “about $50.” So what does the dude do? He comes back with $40!

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What’s worse than driving under the influence? is bad. Trying to weasel out of it. So props to this lady for her candor. As reported by The Bee Group Newspapers (Buffalo, NY):

Police responded to an accident on Transit Road. Officers asked the driver where she was coming from, and she said she was drinking at a nearby bar because “I work my butt off and I deserve it.”

I’ll drink to that! (Please – MADD – no more emails!)

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egg_mice.jpgNew Hampshire Federal Judge James R. Muirhead was not amused (okay, he was really amused) when prisoner Charles Wolff included a hard-boiled egg with his request for a better diet. Here is what the Judge had to say, in an Order issued about the filing of the egg:

No fan I am

Of the egg at hand.

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As a regular bicycle rider (and commuter), The Juice must confess that, if he lived in Florida, he would be a serial offender of this absolutely ridiculous law. And yes, it’s still on the books.

Title XXIII – MOTOR VEHICLES – Chapter 316 – STATE UNIFORM TRAFFIC CONTROL

316.2065 – Bicycle regulations.

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If this is how she treats her sister, The Juice can only wonder how she treats her friends, let alone her enemies … As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

The 15-year-old shared a bedroom with her sister for the last three years, according to the [Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office] report. The sister said she had $2,000 stashed in a hiding place in their room and that the 15-year-old had stolen it.

Do you get the feeling this is not going to end well?

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Most of the stuff speaks for itself – but not all of it. Per the Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Florida):

A homeless man went to court and was arrested on Friday, but the notable part of the story is what he hid from the judge as he stood before him.

The judge sent Neil Lansing to jail, where corrections deputies conducting a routine search in a cell block found part of a condom sticking out of his rectum, the sheriff’s office said.

Conducting those “routine” searches must be a highly sought after assignment.

According to sheriff’s officials: inside the condom they found 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.

A CVS receipt and a coupon? Say what? Adding insult to injury …

Lansing, 33, now faces charges he possessed a drug and a tobacco product inside the Sarasota County Jail. He is being held there without bond.

Click here for the source.

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It’s unclear what it will take for this Maine woman to understand that “911” is for emergencies. Check out the series of events, as reported by The Bangor Daily News:

Shirley Isacson, 66, “placed 10 calls to 911 in just over an hour” Friday, he said. “She was not reporting any type of emergency.”

The calls started at around 4:15 p.m. Friday and after being warned several times to stop calling for help if she did not need it, Isacson was given a ticket charging her with misuse of the emergency 911 system.

Lesson learned? Nope.

At around 10:30 p.m. Sunday, Belfast Police Department officials called Old Town to say they had received a call from Isacson’s number and the woman wasn’t making sense. While en route to her home, Old Town police got a second call from Maine State Police barracks in Orono saying they received a similar call.

You are not going to believe who Ms. Isacson called when the police knocked on her door.

… Isacson called 911 to say police were at the door harassing her …

Nooooo! This time she was just given a warning. Surely that’s it. Nope.

An hour later she called the non-emergency number for the Old Town Police Department and when police arrived …

Wait for it …

… she called 911 to say police were again at the door harassing her.

If you’re wondering when this ends – not yet!

In fact when police told her she was under arrest, “she tried to call 911 again,” Casey said.

Isacson was arrested and charged with misuse of the emergency 911 system and taken to Penobscot County Jail in Bangor, where she remained Monday night, a jail official said.

The Juice is exhausted. Here’s the source.

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Either these gents did an amazing job with their make-up and clothes, or their pursuer was looking through some mega-thick beer goggles, or both. Regardless, he could’ve handled the discovery that the ladies were gents a little better. As reported by The Marco Eagle:

Josue A. Hernandez, 27, of an unknown Immokalee address, according to reports, was at a bar on Boston Avenue in Immokalee when he learned the people he was socializing with and purchased drinks for, which he believed to be female, “were in fact men dressed in women’s clothing,” according to deputies. He then became irate, breaking bottles, starting fights with other customers and causing a disturbance, deputies said.

A large, fixed-blade, hunting-type knife was discovered in Hernandez’s waistband. The knife, which had a wooden handle and a 6-inch blade, was hidden under his shirt, according to reports. The knife is the kind “normally used for the skinning and gutting of deer and other large animals and was in no way a common pocket knife based on its blade length and design,” deputies said.

Fortunately, it appears he kept the knife sheathed. The charges?

Hernandez was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. Saturday and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon.

With all that bottle-breaking and fighting, he probably blew his shot at just plain “orderly intoxication.” Here’s the source, including a photo of the accused.