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fireworks

Just jumping up and down and yelling after touchdowns apparently was not a sufficient celebration for some of these folks. (Like most fans, they must not find field goals very exciting.) As reported by The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

A resident in the Boulevard Park neighborhood of Burien called the police anticipating a neighborhood disturbance of fireworks and bullets during the Superbowl. The call went out to police on the afternoon of Saturday, January 31st. They told police that after each Seahawks scoring drive, one of their neighbors fires off “ridiculously loud illegal fireworks” but what ultimately caused them to alert authorities was when a separate neighbor began firing off a handgun after every scoring drive. Police confiscated the illegal fireworks but did not report any contact with the neighbor who allegedly fires off their handgun after successful scoring drives.

Guess they’ll all be shooting guns next year, and probably for years to come, given their youth, stellar defense, stellar running game, and a very good young quarterback (who had a bad game at the worst time).

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policeman police officer cop

 

Well sir, the officer might have said, I have some good news and some bad news … Per The Sun News at cleveland.com:

A township officer assisted a Medina Township officer on an arrest at 2:41 a.m. Jan. 24. According to the Medina Township officer, the driver he had pulled over in the Hills had nearly struck his cruiser while the Medina officer was on another traffic stop. The driver passed a Breathalyzer test, registering .08 percent – at the legal limit – but was cited for marijuana possession and failure to move over for a stopped emergency vehicle.

Right at the legal limit! Your author has never seen this before. Maybe they could have taken it out another decimal? .081? It didn’t much matter though, what with the weed in the car. Here’s the source.

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mall

This is not meant to discourage good Samaritans from taking action. However, when you have two apparently equal sides (who should be able to work it out themselves) arguing, in these gun-toting times, if you intervene, you’re liable to get yourself shot … As reported by The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina):

Investigators told local media outlets that a man trying to stop an argument between two groups of people at Magnolia Mall was shot in the leg around 7:45 p.m.

Police say the gunshots caused hundreds of people to run out of the mall and the shooter was able to get out in the chaos. The family of the man shot drove him to the hospital.

Fortunately, the well-intentioned gent was treated and released.  Trigger happy pappy is still at large. Here’s the source.

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cross

Although The Juice has strong opinions, you are unlikely to meet anyone with the conviction of this Idahoan. Under these circumstances, this is not a good thing. As reported by ktvb.com

A Boise woman is facing felony charges after police say she attacked a Jewish acquaintance, stomping on the woman’s neck as part of a bizarre bid to convert her to Christianity.

Margurite Dawn Haragan, 58, has been charged with two counts of malicious harassment in an attack police have labeled a hate crime.

Prosecutors say the incident started when Haragan showed up at the victim’s home Feb. 5. It’s not clear how the two women know each other.

“The defendant was banging on the front window yelling at her that she better believe in Jesus and she was not going to leave until she did believe in Jesus,” Ada County Prosecutor Dave Rothcheck said. He said the victim, identified in court only as “A.G.,” opened her door to tell Haragan to leave and to write down her license plate number.

That’s when the suspect slapped her in the face and dragged her to the ground by her hair, Roscheck said.

“The defendant began kicking the victim in the stomach and thigh area,” he said. “During this time the defendant was screaming at the victim that she better accept Jesus or she would not let up.”

Prosecutors say Haragan stepped onto A.G.’s neck as she lay on the ground, pressing down with her foot and pulling up on the woman’s head and hair. Eventually, the woman said she would become a Christian in an attempt to placate her attacker, Roscheck said, and Haragan let her go.

Yikes. You’ll find the source, and Ms. Haragan’s mug shot, by clicking here.

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The facts: Ms. Kirkland works at Morton’s of Chicago as the catering manager, where her boss is Mr. Hickey, the restaurant manager. According to the court, there is no genuine dispute as to the following (in other words, “it’s true”):

… that Hickey told Kirkland that she “needed to get laid”; that Hickey told Kirkland to “blow me”; that Hickey asked Kirkland out on a date, which she rejected, the most benign of Hickey’s acts; that Hickey called Kirkland a “fat pig”; that he placed his hand inside of Kirkland’s blouse; that he asked Kirkland about the color of her bra and whether it matched her panties; that he pulled up Kirkland’s dress; that he pulled his pants down and exposed his buttocks to Kirkland; that he put his hand all the way up Kirkland’s dress; and that he waved a vibrator at Kirkland and other women.

Quite the charmer. The test for whether he created a “hostile work environment is

whether a reasonable woman would find that Hickey’s conduct was sufficiently severe or pervasive to alter the conditions of employment and create an abusive work environment.

What do you think? Is Hickey a sexual harasser?

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panty panties

In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.

The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.

Retail for the panties was estimated at more than $10,000.

Atlanta detectives hope the public can help and have released surveillance photos of the suspect, described as a black woman wearing a red hat, a white and black T-shirt, a black jacket, blue jeans, and red and white tennis shoes.

Several things come to mind. Two hours, and no store employees noticed anything unusual? 785 pairs of panties worth over $10,000 fit in those 3 bags? Clearly the cost of the fabric is not a factor in determining the cost of the panties.  Or perhaps there is an inverse relationship between the amount of fabric used and the cost.  Click here for the source, which includes multiple photos of Ms. X in action.

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Regular Juice readers know that an inmate having a cell phone is not an uncommon occurrence. If you’re wondering how the inmates get them, The Juice would wager that very, very, very few get them this way. As reported by The Mirror:

Police found 10 crossbow bolts, 18 mobile phones, SIM cards and the bow that had been left in a weapons case just 100-metres from the prison fence.

Yup, a crossbow!

A modern day William Tell was nicked by prison police as he tried to use a crossbow to fire illicit mobile phones into a jail for inmates to use.

Cornelius Bazarov, 21, was seized with 18 mobiles, spare batteries and earpieces strapped to the end of crossbow bolts with gaffer tape.

How was he caught?

…  a wall guard at the jail in the town of Tavda in southern Russia’s Sverdlovsk Oblast noticed someone moving through the trees at 1:50am and hit the alarm button.

Bazarov was arrested stumbling through the undergrowth, but it was not until the next morning that police found 10 crossbow bolts, the phones, SIM cards and the bow that had been left in a weapons case just 100 metres from the prison fence.

Just how bad is the phone problem?

Prison spokesman Daniel Krylov said: “Phones are almost as bad as drugs in prisons.

“When inmates get their hands on them they have access to their criminal networks and can even commit crimes while they’re safely in here with an alibi.

“They use them to order drugs, blackmail staff, threaten other inmates or even organise revenge on people who put them there in the first place.

“We arrested the man found in the forest outside the prison walls and he is now facing jail time himself.”

Here’s the source, including photos.

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sleeping sleep

This gent had a pretty good gig – getting paid while he was sleeping. Then, one fateful night, poof! It all disappeared. As reported in the Police Blotter in The Brooklyn Paper

88th Precinct – Fort Greene–Clinton Hill

A crook swiped a Prince Street building’s security guard’s cellphone on Feb. 3 while he slept on the job, law enforcement officials said.

The guard said he was in a chair in the office of the building between Tillary Street and Myrtle Avenue at 10:30 pm, and dozed off. He woke up at 6 am the next day to find his phone had been taken from his pocket, cops said.

Doh! Goodbye phone. Goodbye job (one would imagine).

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suitcase travel airport woman

Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):

ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.

Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?

After the flight landed in Florida, Hartman took a shuttle to the Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort, where she checked in under a false name, according to a Nassau County Sheriff’s Office.

When the actual guest arrived, Hartman disappeared. Security found her the next day in a room that was being renovated, ABC News reports.

Working all the angles! The charges?

Hartman is charged with felony fraud and misdemeanor trespassing.

You probably already guessed that this was not her first rodeo.

Hartman has been arrested numerous times for similar offenses in previous years, including three arrests in August 2014.

Here’s the source, which includes a photo of Ms. Hartman.

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The Juice often blogs about the misuse of Tasers by the police, but not this time. No, this time the use appears to have been justified – it’s just that the officer’s aim was abysmal! As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An unusual injury followed a confrontation in downtown Orlando last month when police tried to disarm a man outside One Eyed Jack’s sports bar, records show.

Rather than shoot Travis James Rodriguez for not dropping a Glock pistol on Dec. 8, a police officer used an electronic stun gun that delivers 50,000 volts through prongs tethered by tiny wires. One prong punctured Rodriguez’s right eyeball as the Taser automatically discharged a five-second shock, according to Orlando police.

Of course the bar was called One Eyed Jack’s.

“Rodriguez had removed the gun from his waistband and was holding it up at chest level, parallel to his body,” Officer Jason Portilla wrote of why he triggered his stun gun. “As a result of Rodriguez turning his body…one of the Taser prongs struck Rodriguez in the right eye. The other Taser prong struck …his left side.”

Rodriguez, 22, was admitted afterwards to Orlando Regional Medical Center for an undisclosed period of treatment. He was charged with carrying a concealed firearm and resisting arrest.

Rodriguez gave police a false address and could not be reached Friday. The incident report was recently released after a request by the Orlando Sentinel.

You’ll find the source here.

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