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You get popped in the face. Why wouldn’t you call the cops? Well, it depends on who’s doing the popping, and who gets popped. Per the San Diego Union Tribune:

A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up the crime by punching him in the face that he called police to report an assault.

Brilliant!

Once [the police] put two and two together, police officers located the 83-year-old victim, who confirmed the crime, and arrested the 43-year-old man for suspected elder abuse and robbery, said San Diego police Officer David Stafford.

Police were called at 4 p.m. to Akins Avenue at 62nd Street near a trolley station, where the robber had the elderly man pinned against a wall and was rifling through his pockets when the bystander interrupted the crime, Stafford said.

Here’s to the unnamed “bystander” who didn’t just “stand by.”

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We’ve all seen movies with the cops banging on the door, and someone running to the bathroom to flush drugs down the toilet. But what if you’re in your car? There’s always the option of … eating them. That’s apparently what Art Taylor of Framingham, Massachusetts did. (Yes, that’s his mug shot.) As reported by The MetroWest Daily News:

Members of the street crimes unit patrolling Franklin Street saw a car turn onto Pearl Street without signaling. They stopped the car on nearby Union Avenue, but when they spoke to Taylor, he refused to give them his license or registration, Brandolini said.

“He made a quick movement to the center console, and there was small baggie with a white powder in it,” Brandolini said. “He immediately made a movement to put it in his mouth.”

An officer tried to stop him, but Taylor kept pushing his arm away. The officers dragged Taylor from the car, and he started fighting with them in the middle of the road.

Hmm. Fighting with the police. Not sure this was the right call.

By the time officers handcuffed him, Taylor had swallowed the bag, Brandolini said. Police used a dog to search the car for other drugs, but nothing was found.

Battle won, war lost?

Taylor, of 624 Hollis St., was arrested and charged with assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and refusing to give police his license and registration. He was also cited for not using a turn signal.

Here’s the source.

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Wait. That didn’t come out right. The “good deed” was an appearance at a charity event for children in Mumbai, India. And the person being sued is the beautiful actress/model Yana Gupta (yes, that’s her). Sadly, it is true that she is being sued for allegedly not wearing panties. As reported by The Times of India:

Actor and model Yana Gupta may have forgotten to wear her underpants at a recent charity function for kids in Mumbai but she sure won’t forget the episode in a hurry.

And Rizwan Ahmed, a self-proclaimed social activist in Lucknow, may just help to keep the controversy alive. Ahmed has filed a case against Yana, the photographer who clicked her pictures and the organizer of the event, Sushila Nirali for obscenity under section 292/ 293 and 294 of the IPC in the court of the Chief Judicial Magistrate, Lucknow on Tuesday.

“Social activist?” No. The dude is a gadfly.

“I have filed a case against Yana Gupta, the photographer who took her photograph and also the event organizer who allowed such a thing to happen at her event. It is indeed shameful that a person of Yana Gupta’s repute could stoop so low for publicity. I was shocked to see the picture of the actor that appeared in papers,” says Ahmed. He further adds, “What offended me most was what Yana posted on her social networking site about now being known as ‘the no-panty girl.’ I find this extremely offensive,” says Ahmed.

You sued the organizer of an event for a children’s charity? And the photographer? Talk about a frivolous lawsuit…

According to Ahmed, Yana and the photographer connived the whole episode for publicity as there are several pictures of the actor in that state of undress in various poses. “Also, one may forget to dress properly at a party or in one’s house, but certainly not at a public function meant for children. If it was a malfunction why didn’t Yana say so when the photographs appeared or why didn’t she lodge a complaint against the photographer?” asks Rizwan.

Get a life! Leave this woman, this photographer, and this event organizer alone!

Meanwhile, the Magistrate has issued summons to the three accused for December 6.

May the Magistrate make quick work of this “case.”

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The scale of this formal postal worker’s thievery is truly mind-boggling. As reported by 9news.com, he stole about 11,000 packages over a 2-year period!

Schmauder targeted packages sent from retailers like Amazon.com, looking for DVDs and CDs he could re-sell. Additionally, Schmauder stole Victoria’s Secret lingerie which he gave to his wife. He admitted to stealing as many as 50 packages a night for two years.

What did he do with all that stuff?

Schmauder resold the stolen items to Angelo’s Movies, Music and Gifts, a Littleton store which bills itself as the largest independent music store in the Denver area. Receipts showed Angelo’s paid Schmauder $85,174 for 11,829 items.

Sweet Mary! The sentence?

U.S. District Court Judge Christine Arguello sentenced Schmauder to 30 months, or two and a half years, in federal prison, the maximum according to sentencing guidelines …

You can read more (a fair amount, including information on his mental illness defense) and see a video of the story here.

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If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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Rule number one: Make sure the getaway car has enough gas to get away! Rule number two: Don’t commit your crime in full view of surveillance cameras. A man in Albany, Georgia broke both rules, and will no doubt pay a hefty price. As reported by WALB:

An Albany car dealership has a big mess to clean up. Thanksgiving night a man broke in to the Five Star Nissan showroom, stole a vehicle, and shattered glass windows as he drove right out the building.

You already know how he was caught.

He ran out of gas in Early County though [and was hanging out by the car!] and is now in police custody.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

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This simple plan failed in the execution (of the plan, not the flies …). As reported in The Nanjing Morning Post:

Police in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, recently arrested three men who cheated restaurants of money after putting dead flies in their food.

Wu, Wang and Zheng, all in their 20s and jobless, extorted money from three restaurants using this modus operandi, threatening to smash the eatery if they are not compensated.

Smash the joint? Crude, but definitely faster than filing a lawsuit. So how were they caught?

They were arrested after a restaurant owner spotted them putting a fly in their food and phoned the police.

Should have eaten the evidence …

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Most of you are too young to remember that Henny Youngman punchline. Anyway, why do so many people who have done something wrong, like this gent, call the police? As reported in Al-Watan Arabic Daily:

A Kuwaiti man filed a missing person’s report on his Moroccan wife at Maidan Hawalli Police Station. 
Police managed to identify the wife’s hideout and summoned her for interrogation.

The woman’s story, however, shocked police. She said her husband offered her to another man to have sex in exchange for dropping his loans. Hence, the woman said, she ran away and insisted that she would not return.

So much for “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.

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No worries using the phone in the police station lobby under normal circumstances. Unfortunately for a certain young man in Eugene, Oregon, these were not normal circumstances! As reported in The Register-Guard:

A man suspected of bank robbery, who apparently just wanted to phone his parents, was arrested Wednesday. His mistake: making the call from the Eugene police station lobby. “I just assume that he didn’t believe that we’d recognize him,” Detective Ralph Burks said.

Note to self: Doh!

Police arrested Nathan Alan Bramlage, 23, about two blocks from the police station after an officer spotted him in the lobby and apparently recognized him from a surveillance tape of the bank robbery, which had occurred the previous day.

The officer alerted detectives, who trailed Bramlage on foot and arrested him without incident. He was booked into the Lane County Jail on charges of second-degree robbery as well as violating probation on an earlier charge of delivering heroin.

The arrest was made a little more than 24 hours after police responded to the Wells Fargo bank at 99 E. Broadway in downtown Eugene. A man had approached a teller, claimed to have a gun and left with an undisclosed amount of cash, police said. The bank also is just a few blocks from the police station where Bramlage came to use the public phone in the lobby.

With everything so close together, how about that minimal carbon footprint? Here’s the source.

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Outrageous, right? But true. As reported by UPI:

Police in Australia have set what they describe as “very generous limits” for an upcoming auto race [The Bathurst 1000]

The limit?

… no more than a case of beer a day for adults.

Holy shiznit. You know Aussie’s like their beer if a case a day is a “limit.” For The Juice, it would mean death by alcohol poisoning. And if you’re not a beer drinker:

Racing fans who do not like full-strength beer have other choices. They can bring in 36 cans of beer with alcohol content of 3.5 percent or less, a case of pre-mixed cocktails or up to 4 liters (about 8 quarts) of wine.

Zoinks. That’s a lot of booze!