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Most people who owe money and don’t have it will just admit it, right? Not so with this Florida man. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Michael Cherubino, 51, of 5464 Birchwood Road in Spring Hill had told deputies two men attacked him at his home, stabbed him in the stomach and stole about $4,000 before fleeing in a “beat up” white pickup.

Investigators say he later admitted to Hernando County sheriff’s deputies that he had lied and cut himself with a piece of glass so he would be hospitalized, miss his court date and have an excuse not to pay $4,000 he owed in child support.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? “Felony Franks”. Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

Sorry Bob, but you’re the one sending the wrong message: censorship because YOU don’t like the message.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

What does the owner of Felony Franks think?

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

And Bob, since when is helping to reintegrate ex-cons into society a bad thing? Oh, and about that lawsuit …

[It’s] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

Here’s hoping Mr. Andrews is victorious. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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You’re out drinking with a friend. Wisely, you travel by cab. Your friend is not feeling well. Of course, you are sympathetic, right? Um… Not so much. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio Police Blotter:

DISTURBANCE, HIDDEN MEADOWS: At 2:51 a.m. April 2, a cab driver told police that when he dropped off passengers, they began to argue and physically fight.

The driver stated that one of the passengers vomited in the vehicle, and that he was still owed $30.

Police determined that the fighting stemmed from one of the subjects using his phone to film his sick friend cleaning the vomit, which led to the argument. The driver was eventually paid, and left.

You know that clip is already posted on facebook. Nice “friend.”

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Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

Continue reading →

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Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 … unless it’s in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he’d found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That’s a little frightening, but it gets worse.

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It is true that “shock” can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun …

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn’t even feel it.

Skeptical? Check out the picture here.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents’ house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn’t know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia’s spine.

Crazy.

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Why would prisoners be forced to play computer games? In a word: cashish. (Money). As reported by The Guardian:

As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for “illegally petitioning” the central government about corruption in his hometown [wow – you get paid for that in the States], reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

“Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour,” Liu told the Guardian. “There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn’t see any of the money. The computers were never turned off.”

Maybe the work was virtual, but the punishment related to it was very real.

“If I couldn’t complete my work quota, they would punish me physically. They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things,” he said.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Sure, there’s an old saw about “hiding in plain sight.” But really, does it sound like a good idea to grow marijuana on school property? And if you’re going to throw out there that it was in “a wooded area,” you probably think that “hiding in plain sight” is actually a good idea. As reported by News4Jax.com:

A homeless man was arrested Monday after a school resource officer at Lake City Middle School [Florida] found several marijuana plants growing in a wooded area on school property, Columbia County deputies said.

Detectives said they were able to use surveillance of the area to find 33-year-old Damon Crosby caring for the plants.

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It’s great that this dude went to the courthouse to pay a traffic ticket. But to go into the courthouse with cocaine, a syringe, and drug paraphernalia? And to have more goodies in your car? As reported by the Galveston County Daily News:

When the 30-year-old Santa Fe man pulled up to the court, which is next door to the police station, a Santa Fe police officer recognized him from a drug bust in February, Santa Fe Sgt. Eric Bruss said.

Uh-oh.

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At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can’t just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher’s coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher’s ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor …

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you’re wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff’s Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher’s condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here’s the source.