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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch
There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com):

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

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money dollar sign
Dude, it’s not your money. Was it worth risking your life? Okay, don’t answer that since you look pretty good right now. How good would you have looked with a hole in your head? Seriously, just hand over the money. Even if you get fired, good things will happen! (See yesterday’s Juice post.) Any way, back to the present, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Capt. Peter Albert said a person wearing a mask and a hooded sweatshirt — believed to be a man — entered the Gulf gas station at 1 Continental Blvd. shortly before 11 p.m. Wednesday.

Albert said a handgun was shown to the store employee.

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gun handgun
Just about everyone knows that when you are being robbed, just give them the money because your life is worth more than whatever is in the register. Remember that The Juice said “just about everyone.” That does not include a certain Popeyes franchisee in Texas. As reported by khou.com:

The pregnant Popeyes manager, who was fired less than 36 hours after a robbery, has been offered her job back.

Marissa Holcomb, who is a mother of three with a fourth child on the way, had a meeting with Z & H Foods owner Amin Dhanani on Wednesday, a day after our original story aired of her firing.

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baby boy
… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

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monkey
Tarzan was raised by apes, and looked how well he turned out! Case closed! Maybe, but not so fast. As reported by The Grand Island Indepedent (Nebraska):

A situation in which two monkeys were playing with a baby, as shown in a Facebook video, does not violate state standards for child neglect or abuse, said Sgt. James Laudenklos of the Merrick County Sheriff’s Department.

The video was shot in a Merrick County home not far from Grand Island. After seeing the video on Facebook, someone reported it to the state Department of Health and Human Services, concerned about the safety of the child.

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dollar bill paper money
Unless you just don’t follow the news at all, you know about the gent who landed his gyrocopter on the lawn next to the US Capitol. He got that far because he flew under the radar. These two gents also must have been trying to fly under the radar by counterfeiting such a small bill. Otherwise, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Hell, it doesn’t make much sense regardless! As reported by tcpalm.com:

Two Broward County men have been accused of passing counterfeit money at local stores Friday afternoon, said Martin Sheriff’s spokeswoman Christine Christofek.  The men used up to 40 counterfeit $1 bills at Publix in the 2700 block of Southwest Martin Downs Boulevard in Palm City, Christofek said.

Michael Rice, 30, of Fort Lauderdale, is accused of using 14 $1 bills with identical serial numbers inside Publix.  Jacques Michel Desire Jr., 28, of Tamarac, is accused of using 21 $1 bills identical serial numbers at the Publix, reports show.

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bicycycle tire tires wheel wheels
You may think you have a good hiding place, but that’s just visually. That won’t stop it from smelling. Just ask these two cyclists. Per The Tucson Sentinel:

Two Douglas-area teens were taken into custody Friday when Customs and Border Protection officers at the Douglas Port of Entry discovered seven pounds of marijuana hidden in their bicycle tires.

Officers arrested a 17-year old boy and girl when a drug dog led officers to inspect the tires of each bike. They discovered 3.5 pounds of marijuana hidden in the tires of each bike, worth an estimated $3,400 overall, a press release from the agency said.

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car key
Please, please, please just tell The Juice you did not fall for the oldest trick in the book – the “key swap.” Okay, so The Juice had never heard of the “key swap” either. As reported by tcpalm.com:

It sounds like a Hollywood heist. Thieves stole a $55,000 vehicle from the Arrigo Dodge dealership Wednesday afternoon without breaking a sweat or a window.

Maybe Hollywood, Florida, but pretty smooth nonetheless.

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thief
Talk about chutzpah. Check out this burglary, as reported by Sweden’s “The Local” and “Helsingborgs Dagblad”

A thief in southern Sweden took time off during a weekend break-in to surf pornographic websites on a company computer … local newspaper Helsingborgs Dagblad reports.

Here comes the real chutzpah:

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