… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):
A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.
You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”