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Your home is your castle, right? And your garage too? Not always, as this Florida man found out. As reported by tcpalm.com:

Port St. Lucie police on Sunday went to Francisco Rojas’ home after his wife told 911 dispatchers her 49-year-old husband was “drunk and in the garage trying to pull his tooth out with a pair of pliers, and she needs the police to respond.”

Yeow!

Three officers made contact with Rojas. “We observed him attempting to extract his tooth and there was vomit on the floor from his attempts,” an affidavit states.

Rojas’ wife lifted the garage door at an officer’s request to dispel the barf smell.

Asked what was troubling him, Rojas started cursing and was asked to calm down. “This is my [fucking] house, I can say and do whatever the [fuck] I want,” an affidavit states. “I’m [fucking] drunk and you can’t do nothing about it.” [expletives reinserted] 

Another officer asked Rojas to calm down, but he’s accused of more yelling and cursing that “affected the public decency as well as the peace and quiet of the children playing in the neighborhood.”

Rojas, of the 1000 block of Southwest Firestone Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a breach of peace charge.

Breach of peace? Wasn’t the guy quietly trying to pull out his tooth (and puking) before the police came and stirred things up? Ay ay ay. Here’s the source, including the charging papers.
 
 

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That Chinese cooking oil you brought is probably fine. It’s probably not the product of a certain illegal operation, as reported by chinadaily.com:

Chinese police have arrested 32 suspects for producing and selling illegal cooking oil in a cross-province crackdown, the Ministry of Public Security said in a statement Tuesday.

Why is it gross? Well …

More than 100 tonnes of such oil, made from leftovers dredged from gutters behind restaurants, were seized after busting a criminal network spanning 14 provinces, the ministry said.

Tasty! Here’s the source.

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Nobody can argue that times are not tough. Some people might argue, though, that this is not the best way to go about getting money. As reported by wesh.com:

It’s not normally a problem when a disrobed woman asks customers for money at a strip club. But it is when the woman doesn’t work there.

Deputies said that’s exactly what happened Tuesday night at the Baby Dolls strip club in Pinellas County.

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Your mission: theft. You think you’re the only one out there with that mission? A ten-year-old found out the hard way that stealing isn’t such a great idea. Per The Bee News (Buffalo, New York):

Two 10-year-old boys tried to steal a game from a 
Thruway Plaza Drive
business, but tuhe manager sent them on their way. The 
boys were then seen on
the curb outside crying, because one of their bicycles had 
been stolen.

Bad day, but hopefully lessons learned (stealing = bad idea; locking your bike = good idea).

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Lots of people eat fish. Probably most people. Is it really so bad to eat a goldfish? Apparently so, as Briton Chris Caswell found out the hard way. As reported – with no slant whatsoever[!] – in The Sun:

Cruel Chris Caswell was arrested yesterday over the sick stunt that was videoed by his giggling pals and posted on Facebook.

Damn you Facebook!

The lout, 30, paid £1.99 for a fish then asked staff to put it in a glass he had brought along, claiming he lived just across the road.

A puzzled shop worker agreed – then watched in horror as he downed the fish in one swallow.

Oh the humanity!

After Caswell ate the creature, his pal doing the filming crowed: “Goldfish down the hatch!” The yobs then marched out of the shop cackling and joking.

Police were alerted after the appalling footage was posted on the web.

Roofer Caswell was arrested in a dawn raid at his home in Newton Aycliffe, Co Durham, yesterday on suspicion of cruelty to animals.

Really? A “raid”?

He was quizzed at a police station for an hour then released.

Should have asked President Obama for special dispensation to send the gent to Guantanamo Bay.

The yob last night insisted he was an animal lover and it was just a prank.

He bleated: “It was over a year ago. We had been out drinking at a friend’s party. I can’t remember much about it. I have just got a puppy. I like animals.”

If Caswell is found guilty of animal cruelty he could face a £20,000 fine or six months in jail.

This guy is a criminal? Sounds more like a prankster. Here’s the source, including video of the incident.

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You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

One question for the complainant: Really? The Juice literally gets an email like this once a month! Hey lady – stop wasting the cop’s time!

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Would you believe it if The Juice told you a woman was busted for noisy sex? Well, he is. As reported in The Northern Echo:

A woman pleaded guilty today to breaching a sex Asbo [anti-social behavior order] three times.

Caroline Cartwright, 48, and her husband Steve were hit with a noise abatement notice after neighbours, the local postman, and a woman taking her child to school complained about their noisy lovemaking.

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Judges can do many things to end up facing discipline. They can skip out on work too much. They can treat parties poorly. They can disrespect lawyers who appear before them. Or, as a Pennsylvania disciplinary court found regarding Allentown District Judge Maryesther Merlo, all of the above, per The Morning Call.

Regarding attendance:

Merlo had a habit of calling out of work when dozens of hearings were scheduled and litigants, police and attorneys were assembled in her courtroom, her staff testified. According to the decision, Merlo missed 116 days of work from September 2007 to December 2009.

“This is not to mention that on the days when [Merlo] did come to work, she was never on time — she was always late,” the court added.

Former Lehigh County President Judge William H. Platt and Court Administrator Gordon Roberts testified their efforts to address her work habits fell on deaf ears. The disciplinary court noted Merlo’s explanation that her absences were excused because she never took vacation was belied by the fact she did take 49 days of vacation during the period at issue.

Excellent work habits. How did she treat parties and witnesses?

In one case, Merlo described a young man who appeared in court with his mother on a traffic offense as “a dog who needs to be retrained.” In another case, she ordered deputy sheriffs to arrest a woman who had been counseled by her lawyer not to testify to avoid incriminating herself, according to the decision.

[There was also testimony about] bizarre courtroom behavior, including an episode in which she ordered a defendant to call himself “scumbag.”

And the court examined Merlo’s conduct in 10 cases and found six in which her demeanor constituted a violation of the rules of conduct. Witnesses testified Merlo’s behavior was often demeaning, intimidating and offensive.

Okay. But what about Judge Merlo’s side of the story?

In each of the six cases, the court found the witnesses who complained about Merlo’s behavior to be more credible than the judge.

Doh! That hurts.

The state disciplinary court examined Merlo’s demeanor during truancy hearings, noting her practice of continuing cases to give the kids “a second chance” interfered with the district’s efforts to discipline students with attendance problems. Her own tardiness set a poor example for the students, the court noted.

Suzette Arcelay, a school counselor, testified Merlo’s behavior was often rude and erratic, including an episode in which Merlo told her to “shut up.”

Judge Merlo has the option of appealing the findings. You can read more here.