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Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you run a criminal background check before you give someone the job, especially one involving children? Er, uh, yup! Fortunately this gent’s crime only involved money.  Per The Shreveport Times:

Bossier Sheriff Julian Whittington says a Haughton man is wanted on felony theft charges for defrauding parents, youth and sponsors by stealing nearly $3,000 from a youth baseball league.

Well, he said he didn’t have a criminal record!

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Even the best phone scams succeed just a fraction of the time, but that provides a good living for too many people.  What about a scam that has virtually no chance of succeeding? Here’s just such a scam, as reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg

A manipulative thief tried to get a woman to hand over a large sum of cash by telling her in a phone call to her Keap Street home on May 10 that they had kidnapped her son and were removing his fingers.

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Any dispute that goes on for more than thirty years must have earth-shattering ramifications, no? No. Just money, and horsies. As reported by The Brandon Sun:

A federal appeals court says the United States Polo Association cannot be held in contempt for selling sunglasses with a logo that resembles Polo Ralph Lauren’s famous trademark of a horseman whacking a ball.

The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan issued its written ruling Wednesday. The decision reversed a finding of contempt by a lower court judge.

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Certainly a Judge must control the courtroom. How a Judge may do this, not surprisingly, is determined by the law. One tool is the power to hold someone in contempt. [Hint: It’s a power used, a lot, below.] According to the Supreme Court, if the sentence imposed for contempt is less than 6 months, there is no right to a jury trial. Now, to our man in Maryland.

In 1990, Mr. Johnson was convicted of malicious destruction of personal property, placed on probation, and given a 3-year suspended sentence. He had to stay out of trouble for 3 years. Unfortunately, in 1991 he was convicted of burglary, and sentenced to 10 years. So Mr. Johnson is in jail for a couple years, when he is called to court for violating his 1990 probation – with just 10 days remaining on the 3-year suspended sentence.

Althought the prospect of serving an additional 3 years – on top of the 10 years he was already serving – did not sit well with him, his probation agent told him that the State would not seek to tack on the additional 3 years for violating his probation. WRONG! The Judge added on the 3 years, and a lively, lengthy, colorful conversation ensued. And just when you think it might be over …

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One of Kansas Judge Rebecca Pilshaw’s bad days (no, that’s not her above!) came as she was trying to empanel a jury in a murder case. Loyal readers know the Juice hates jury weasels. But nobody hates folks who try to avoid jury duty more than judges. There was a little of that going on. As reported in The Kansan:

One prospective juror said she wouldn’t believe anything the police said. Pilshaw dismissed her from service, but ordered her to attend every day of the trial because, “You need an opportunity to be exposed more to our law enforcement personnel.”

Then Judge Pilshaw lost it (at least, for a judge, this is considered losing it) and said:

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Englishman Elliot Carnell caught one hell of a break. After drinking 15 pints of beer at a Christmas party, Carnell punched his ex-wife’s Sri Lankan boyfriend in the head – 6 times! Oh, and he hit his ex-wife and her daughter when they tried to stop him. Carnell copped to the racially aggravated assault, and was sentenced to 150 hours community service and alcohol counseling. But wait …

As if that sentence wasn’t light enough, it gets worse. When Carnell showed up to begin his community service (picking up litter), he was ordered to stop! Why? Because he’s a truck driver, and officials were concerned that, with the additional work [the community service], he would exceed the maximum of 48 hours per week for a truck driver! And he might be tired and get in an accident. Said Mr. Carnell:

I was a bit bewildered by what happened but I’m happy. I was willing to do the punishment.

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The Juice’s first reaction upon reading about this was OUCH! (That’s a piercing needle pictured above.) This was followed by OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH! That had to hurt – a lot. For a whole bunch of reasons, this dude has to be regretting the piercing. From a report in The Jersey Journal:

A Belmar man was arrested in Downtown Jersey City after allegedly masturbating in front of a sharp-eyed 76-year-old woman who helped identify the man by telling police she noticed his penis was pierced, officials said.

Lionel B. Froloff, 32, was arrested in Hamilton Park at 2:26 p.m. Monday and charged with lewdness and endangering the welfare of children in a nearby playground, reports said.

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You’re trying to sleep, and there’s a loud party [that they didn’t invite you to!], or your neighbor is playing loud music, or [fill in the blank] is keeping you awake. You’re mad. You rarely get justice. You’ll probably like this one, as reported by NorthCountryNow.com (Potsdam, New York):

A Parishville man was charged with unnecessary noise for yelling unreasonably loud early Wednesday morning, according to Potsdam police.

Nicholas J. Avery, 23, was issued an appearance ticket at 12:28 a.m. for the above charge after officers observed him yelling on the corner of Raymond and Market streets, police said.

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Unless it’s a traffic ticket where you don’t have much to lose, it’s just not a good idea to represent yourself.  This point is made over and over by cases like this. As reported by Courthouse News Service:

On trial for mail and wire fraud, fallen real estate mogul Luke Brugnara [who is representing himself] blamed his treatment at the Alameda County jail for his bizarre behavior in court and demanded that U.S. District Judge Alsup allow this explanation to be given to the jury.

“If I were in the jury box, I’d think this guy is nuts,” Brugnara said, launching into a rant about how he has not been allowed to shower or shave for five days and that deputies are trying to prevent him from preparing for trial by repeatedly throwing his legal papers into garbage bags.

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Who would have thought anything of importance would happen because of an online comment? Well, it did! As reported by arstechnica.com (from a Highlands County Sheriff’s Office press release):

A Florida woman used the comments section of a Pizza Hut order made from her smartphone on Monday afternoon to alert authorities that she and her children were being held hostage. When police responded to her message, arriving at the location, she and her children were quickly released, unharmed, and the kidnapper was arrested.

According to a Highlands County Sheriff’s Office press release, Cheryl Treadway, a woman from Avon Park, about 85 miles southeast of Tampa, had been arguing most of the day with her boyfriend, Ethan Nickerson, who carried “a large knife.”