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Or else what? If you don’t like The Juice on Facebook, and/or follow him on Twitter (@LegalJuice), expect a visit from Officer Cartman. And you don’t want to make Eric angry. Just ask Scott Tenorman what can happen when Eric gets angry. (Warning: If you really like chili, you won’t like how this episode ends.)

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So this woman is on a Delta flight that lands at Logan International Airport in Boston. As she would make sure everyone knows, she is FAMOUS! As reported in The Boston Globe:

The general manager of WHDH Channel 7 was arrested after an allegedly drunken, obscenity-laced tirade at Logan International Airport in which she threatened to call a news crew and put a state trooper “on TV and ruin [his] life,” according to a police report.

Randi Goldklank flailed her arms and screamed at State Police when they took her into custody after her Delta flight landed Sunday night, according to the report. She had to be helped off the plane by two crew members, according to the report, and struck a trooper in the chest, breaking the prescription glasses in his pocket.

How much did she have to drink?

… she was overheard by police telling medical personnel that she had had “about three dozen drinks.” Goldklank smelled of alcohol and was so intoxicated that police had difficulty booking her, the report stated

Holy Moses! Here are a few of her comments:

“I’m a big shot in Boston and I’ll have your [expletive] jobs.”

“You think you’re a [expletive] tough guy, just you watch and see what the [expletive] happens to you when I get out of here.”

You know I don’t delete expletives, but “The Globe redacted the obscenities …” Something changed because, after being so belligerent, Ms. Goldklank told one of the troopers:

‘You think I’m cute and I think you’re cute, just drive me home.’

Check out her defense:

Goldklank defended her behavior to the Boston Herald Monday night and told the paper she was inappropriately touched by a male passenger seated beside her.

But …

There was no mention of the male passenger in the State Police report. Trooper Eric Benson, a department spokesman, said this morning that “there has been no complaint made to the State Police alleging any such improper contact.”

Ms. Goldklank was put on administrative leave. You can read more (including the police report – the link is in the 4th paragraph) here.

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Remember that post about the woman who refused to return the “obscene” library book she checked out? (Hint: It was yesterday’s post.) So do you think she returned the book, or was sent to jail? Wrong. Neither. The city (Lewiston, Maine) decided not to pursue the matter any further. Why? As reported in The Sun Journal:

[City Administrator Jim] Bennett .. said that proceeding with that kind of legal action [having Ms. Karkos put in jail] would have accomplished nothing. Putting the matter to rest, he said, is in the best interest of the city. It saves money that would need to be spent to pursue the case in court, he said, and will keep Lewiston from becoming the epicenter of the debate over decency in publications.

Ms. Karkos was pleased, no? No.

Karkos said she would have been happy to see it go further. By dismissing the matter, she said, the city is trying to make the issue go away.

“They didn’t do me any favors,” Karkos said Friday night. “They knew what they were doing. They were protecting themselves.”

Will she pay the $100 fine imposed by the Court? You can read more here.

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censorship%20pin%20button%20sign.jpg Maine resident JoAn Karkos said she’ll take jail. And it’s not because she likes the book, “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health.” It’s because “she claims [it] violates the city’s obscenity ordinance,” per The Sun Journal. What she’s doing is just “civil disobedience.” It’s not working.

After Karkos’ actions were picked up by the media, the library received eight copies of the sexual education book from people around the country, including parents and concerned educators, [Lewiston Public Library Director Rick] Speer said.

So, after she admitted to the Judge that she had the book, but wouldn’t turn it over, what did the Judge do? She gave Karkos a few days to turn it over – after which she will face contempt of court charges.

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Censorship%20fuck%20censor%20bad%20wrong%20stupid.gif If you ask a Los Alamos, New Mexico man named Variable, a lot. Variable wanted to change his name to Fuck Censorship. But Bernalillo County Judge Nan Nash refused his requested. So Variable appealed. The Court of Appeals … denied it. Why? Per WTOPnews.com:

The man has the right to call himself whatever he wants, unless there’s fraud or misrepresentation involved, the judges said.

But once he seeks court approval for a name change, the court has the authority to turn him down on several grounds, including if the name is offensive to common decency and good taste, the judges ruled.

You’re not going to believe what Variable’s old name was: Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokligon. You can read more here.

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Some bank jobs are planned very well, at least in the movies. This was no movie-type heist. Per a report by wpxi.com:

A North Braddock man is behind bars after police said he robbed a Swissvale bank wearing a blond wig, fake breasts and clown pants.

Swissvale police Chief Greg Geppert said Dennis Hawkins, 48, was sitting in a parked car covered in dye from an exploding packet when he was arrested Saturday.

The most amazing thing about this is that there is still at least one person WHO DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE EXPLODING DYE PACK! The suspect stealthily entered the bank… um, not exactly …

Geppert said Hawkins was spotted in a Giant Eagle grocery store before shoplifting a BB gun from K-Mart before entering the bank.

And then?

Authorities said Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint then dropped some of it after the dye pack blew up.

The bail? $230,000. Click here for the source, including video footage from the bank.

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Hahaha. It’s so funny to post videos of me doing illegal things! Trouble? No cop will see this. No way! As reported by wfsb.com:

A 19-year-old Watertown man was arrested after posting a two-minute video on Facebook that shows him ramming his car into  trash cans set out along a quiet street. 

Watertown police say Dylan Muscio slammed the Subaru station wagon he was driving into  two trash cans on Kimberly Lane before posting the video online.

Detectives said Muscio and an unidentified passenger intentionally rammed into Rinaldi’s and her next door neighbor’s garbage can with the car.

“It’s a little scary. It looks like the video was during the day, and we have kids here playing all the time, ” Rinaldi said.

Brilliant! Click here for the source, and to watch a news story about the incident (including some of the video).

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It’s a little strange to call 911 on yourself. It’s even stranger if you’re doing it because …

“Basically I slapped him this morning because he wouldn’t have sex with me, and he hasn’t had sex with me in a couple of months, so I slapped him across the face and he wants me to go to jail,” reported the caller.

So why did this South Carolina woman call the cops?

She also told officers her husband was going to call the police, so she would do it for him, according to the report.

But before you take me to jail …

The wife then told the dispatcher she was going to change clothes and get ready for the police to arrive, because she didn’t want to go to jail in a sweatshirt and a pair of boxer shorts she was wearing at the time.

What did the husband have to say?

The husband claimed she never hit him and she just wanted to go to the J. Reuben Long Detention Center.

Quite the interesting family. The source is WMBF News. Click here for more.

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It’s not uncommon for police officers to charge people who flip them off. When those people fight the charges, they win. But what about f-bombing a police officer? Well, that depends, as an Ohio woman recently found out. As reported in The Knoxville News Sentinel:

Dorthea Frazier’s son Cody was arrested by Akron police after a brief car chase. Dorthea Frazier yelled at the arresting officers: “What the f[uck] are you arresting my son for? What are you doing?” She then yelled at a lieutenant: “You f[uck]ing crooked a– cop” and “You’re a b[astard?].” [uncensored by The Juice].

The lieutenant apparently ordered her to desist from further yelling, but Frazier persisted. Officers on the scene testified that her cursing drew a growing crowd and presented a possibly dangerous situation.

Officers charged her with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. In the course of her arrest, she suffered a broken arm.

Her defense, of course, was the First Amendment. The result?

A jury found her guilty of disorderly conduct. During that trial, she requested a jury instruction on freedom of speech that read in part:

“In the event that you find that the Defendant’s conduct was Constitutionally protected free speech, then you must find the defendant not guilty. A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct based on the words the person has spoken because such speech is constitutionally protected unless the defendant’s words rise to the level of fighting words.

“A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct by the use of words because the First Amendment protects a significant amount of verbal criticism and challenge directed at police officers.”

The Judge refused the request. Ms Frazier appealed and … lost. You can read a lot more here.

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The dumb part? Getting so drunk that he passed out. The lucky part? That he passed out on train tracks. Yes, that is the “lucky” part because this youngster crashed in between the tracks. So when the train ran over him, per The Des Moines Register:

Two railroad engineers for Iowa Interstate Railroad said they saw 17-year-old Christian Latshaw on the railroad tracks as they were moving east and crossing a Des Moines River bridge to East First Street south of Court Avenue about 10:45 p.m., according to a Des Moines police report.

When the engineers, David Good Jr. and John Knutson, realized a person was in front of the train, they applied the emergency brake, but the engine and first car still went over the top of Latshaw before the train stopped.

Latshaw told officers he had been drinking at the 80/35 Music Festival, about a mile away, then blacked out and woke up on the tracks.

Officers said Latshaw had bloodshot, watery eyes and smelled of alcohol. He was taken to Mercy Medical Center for treatment of two lacerations on the back of his head and a bruise on his right thigh.

The charges?

Latshaw was arrested and received a delayed referral to juvenile court on trespassing and public intoxication charges, according to the police report.

Click here for the source.

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