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statue pee peeing public urinate urinating
Urinating in public? Well I never! Okay, maybe just this once … or, maybe not. As reported by The Iowa City Press-Citizen:

An Iowa City Man was arrested for public intoxication at 10:40 p.m. Sunday after telling police the yellow liquid flowing through a handrail on steps leading to an apartment building was beer.

Told you it was novel, but …

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spray bottle liquid
Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com:

Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”

Festerman claims he was innocently checking the item in the school, when it discharged — and the police were called.

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school lockers
Most of us would like to be young again. Okay, so most of the old folks like The Juice would like to be young again. And many of us say that we act young and feel young, and that’s all that matters. Not to this Texas lady. She went back to relive it all. As reported by newschannel10.com:

Police say Charity Anne Johnson was arrested after giving officers a fake name and birthday going by “Charity Stevens.” This is also the same alias Johnson used to enroll at the high school.

A spokesperson for the school said Johnson was brought in to enroll with a person who she claimed was her guardian and gave a date of birth indicating she was only 15. Staff at the school discovered her identification was fake and not only that, but that she had been a student there since October 2013.

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dollar sign money
Honestly, did she think she would get away with stealing from a fund for U.S. Marshal’s, police, and firefighter’s survivors? Apparently so. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

A 53-year-old St. Louis woman pleaded guilty Wednesday to stealing nearly $19,000 intended to benefit the families of police, firefighters and deputy marshals killed in the line of duty.

Pamela Denise Robtoy appeared subdued when she walked to the lectern, speaking so softly that U.S. District Judge David R. Herndon asked her to speak up, as she pleaded guilty to embezzling money from a charity golf tournament intended to benefit BackStoppers and the U.S. Marshal’s Survivor’s Benefits Fund.

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police badge
You could go online and get red and blue lights and put them in your grill. Presto, you are now driving an unmarked cop car. That’s the game this guy was playing. (Hopefully it was just a game, and not something nefarious, not that the judge is likely to care.) Anyway, if this gent ever saw Casablanca, he would be Humphrey Bogart (he wishes), saying “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” As reported by khou.com:

Flashing red and blue lights on the front grill of a truck caught one officer off-guard Wednesday afternoon, on SH 249 in Tomball.

“I thought it was an unmarked police vehicle,” said Sgt,. Rebecca Carlisle, with Tomball Police.

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Hey, if you make a threat and you don’t follow through with it, people won’t take you seriously, right? Sure, but maybe you shouldn’t make the threat in the first place. As reported by ksdk.com:

Madison County Sheriff’s Office investigated an animal cruelty call in Godfrey, Ill. Monday night.

Cat lovers might want to skip this post and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow.

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It’s not exactly “the dog ate my homework,” but it’s in the same family of lame excuses. As reported by The Beacon-Times:

An Aurora man who said he was exhausted from taking care of a puppy was charged with DUI after falling asleep in a fast food restaurant drive-through lane Saturday morning.

Police found Matthew Gunderson, 29, 4100 block of Landing Drive, asleep behind the wheel of his car at the Steak and Shake restaurant in the 4300 block of Fox Valley Center Drive around 2:17 a.m.

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The “lesson” this teacher was trying to teach will – with absolute certainty – never be forgotten by seven South Korean elementary school students. As reported by The Korea Times:

Police Monday investigated an instructor at a rural South Korean boarding facility who bit a hamster to death and swallowed it in front of children.

Yikes! Why?

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car wash
Driving around the fountain in your car- that’s hilarious! No, not really. As reported by bt.com:

A cheeky driver thought he’d found a free car wash in the shape of Wakefield’s Bullring fountain – until the police noticed the brazen bather and gave chase.

The video shows the moment a motorist is chased by police after he took his car for a wash – in a fountain.

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soccer ball goal
If you ever needed evidence supporting the fact that soccer fans are extremely invested in their teams, look no further than this bizarre incident. As reported by espnfc.com:

The shocking incidents occurred in Maranhao, Brazil, last Sunday. According to reports, referee Otavio Jordao da Silva fatally stabbed footballer Josenir dos Santos Abreu.

A ref doesn’t just stab a player right? Right.